Fifty Shades Of Grey: My Years With Elena *Warning - Explicit Content*


'Picture this, an adolescent boy looking to earn some extra money so he can continue his secret drinking habit. So, I was in the backyard at the Lincolns', clearing some rubble and trash from the extension Mr. Lincoln had just added to their place. Elena - Mrs. Lincoln appeared out of nowhere and brought me some lemonade. I made some smart-ass remark...and she slapped me. She slapped me so hard. She then seduced me and I became her submissive for six years.'

And this is my account of what happened.



"Thank you for your time, Anna. That was wonderful."

The petite, attractive woman shakes Elena's hand. "It was a pleasure, Elena. I'm glad you enjoyed it." She extends a tanned hand to me and I shake it warmly. "Christian, it was a pleasure to meet you. The gift shop sells a number of replica prints of the paintings you liked."

"Thanks Anna. I'll definitely have look. And thank you for the tour. It was really enjoyable."

She beams and her pretty face lights up. "I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I hope you both have a pleasurable remainder of your holiday."

Oh baby, if only you knew...



We have spent a thoroughly pleasant morning exploring parts of Valletta - Malta's historical capital city - and have just finished a personal tour of Saint John's Co-Cathedral - an amazing example of baroque architecture and design. It is dedicated to the Knights of Saint John, who had saved Malta from a Turkish invasion in the sixteenth century. The cathedral is a shrine to skilled craftsmanship - the most famous probably being the huge original painting of Caravaggio's 'Beheading of Saint John the Baptist'. As impressed as I was with that - and I've never been one for historic paintings or architecture until I saw this cathedral - it was the many paintings and reproductions of the holy Madonna and child that captured my imagination. I find looking at any mothers with babies - be it in real life or in print - incredibly difficult. Dr. Flynn says it's because I need to confront the issues I have about my birth mom neglecting me as a young child. I'm not ready to go there yet with Flynn, but seeing all those paintings, actually had the opposite effect today. I don't know whether it was the setting, being with Elena, losing my virginity or just a shift in my mind-set, but gazing at them, I actually felt a sense of peace and serenity.

"Find anything you like, my darling?"

Elena sidles up to me as I flick through some A4 prints in the gift shop.

"Yeah, there's a couple I really like."

"Are you going to hang them in your bedroom?"

I snort. "Are you kidding me? Elliot would have a field day! No...I just want them for my own private viewing." I gaze at her adoringly. "To remind me of finding peace and a happy time." I whisper.

She smiles and her ice-blue eyes glow. "A very happy time," she counters softly and then straightens up. "Well I'm going to pick out a couple of books and then we can head off for lunch when you are ready."



Caffe Cordina is a short walk from the cathedral. The caffe title does it a serious injustice as the exquisite interior would not be out of place in a posh Parisian hotel or restaurant. The high curved ceilings of the cathedral are replicated in the interior of the cafe, where beautiful murals have been painted depicting scenes from Malta's long and turbulent history.

We order a selection of treats and dive straight in.

"Got to hand it to the Maltese. They make a fine flaky pastry," I mumble happily as I devour one of the local delicacies - a Pastizz. There are two shapes; diamond cheese-filled ones and half-moons filled with spiced mashed peas. Both are served hot and equally as delicious.

Elena beams at me as she takes a small delicate bite out of hers. "It's good to see you so relaxed and happy. Malta suits you."

I reach over and grasp her free hand. "YOU suit me. I'm this relaxed and happy because of you."

She gives my fingers a squeeze. "Oh darling, that's very sweet of you to say...but it's you  who are making the progress. If some of it's down to my help, then I'm delighted."

I grin and take another bite out of my Pastizz. "What do you want to do after lunch?"

"Well it's such a lovely day; I thought we'd spend the afternoon at the beach. What do you think?"

I take a deep breath and feel my heart swell. "Sounds wonderful."



Mellieha Bay has one of the longest stretches of sandy beaches, on the tiny island. Elena found a large cool-box in the pantry and we filled with some things from our trip to the grocery store - local sweet, Gala melon, our favourite sandwiches that Elena rustled up, peppered goat's cheese, water and some bottles of beer. She then drove the short distance to the beach and I carried the cool-box, whilst Elena went on ahead to hire a parasol and loungers.

"Aren't you coming for a swim with me?" I ask as I place the cool-box in the shade and Elena settles back on the lounger.

"Not just yet. I just want to rest my feet for a bit. They've swelled up with the heat and are aching. I'll just sit here and start reading the book I bought about Malta's history. "

"Okay...but your feet still look sexy to me."

She arches an eyebrow over the rim of her sunglasses and I grin before turning and scampering happily into the sea. It's cool, welcoming and crystal clear. I happily dive under, dispelling the sweat and dust of the day, despite wearing a tank top over my trunks. I swim out until I feel the temperature of the sea has dropped by several degrees - signalling I'm in deeper waters - so I turn back. Elena is now just a little speck dressed in a black swimsuit. I swim leisurely back as images of the day float through my head - the amazing loss of my virginity, the wonderful tour of the cathedral, the tasty...

AHH! What the fu...

Something suddenly hits me sharply against my temple, causing me to not only break my stroke but to swallow sea-water too. Gathering my composure, I turn to find my attacker - a large, pink soccer ball floating past. I grab at it angrily.

"So sorry," a soft voice to my left begins. "I no catch."

I twist to find a girl of maybe my age looking at me. Well, not so much looking...okay she's blatantly staring...

"It's okay." I say gruffly and hand her the ball. The girl smiles but continues to stare and her eyes drop to my chest.


I frantically look downwards and my navy tank top is clinging to me. Paranoid she can see my scars, I dive under and leave her in my wake as I rapidly swim back to the shore. I haul myself out of the water and flop breathlessly on the empty lounger next to Elena, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest.

"Would you like something to eat?" Elena asks from behind her book without looking up.

"Can you see my scars through this?" I ask, panicked.

Elena drops her book and sits up as she notices my distress. "No, darling of course not. Why what's happened?"

"There was a girl - my age maybe - and her ball hit me in the head. When I handed it to her...she just stared at my chest." I finish as my throat tightens.

Elena reaches over and grabs my hands. "You can't see anything darling - except your fine physique where the tank top is clinging to you. I think that's what made the poor girl stare. When will you accept how damn beautiful you are?"

No, no, no...

I close my eyes and run my hands through my soaked hair. A soft hand strokes my cheek.

"Oh Christian...what am I going to do with you?" She murmurs softly. I hesitantly open my eyes. "When are you going to believe in yourself? You are young, handsome, strong and capable of achieving anything you put your mind to. You are no longer that scared little boy that no one loved."

But he's always there when I look in the mirror...

"I'm trying Elena, but it's so hard..."

She grasps me firmly either side of the face. "I know it is darling...and you've come a long way in a short time, you really have." She takes a deep breath. "Why don't I come for a swim with you? Help defend you from young girls and their wayward soccer balls?"



We have spent a wonderful afternoon in Mellieha Bay, where we have swam, chilled and talked until the sun began to set over the sea. I wanted an ice-cream after devouring our picnic, so I have walked up the beach to a kiosk and I am happily tucking into a huge plastic cup, full of swirled soft, vanilla ice-cream, raspberry sauce and chopped nuts. As I make my way back across the soft sand, I can hear Elena's familiar tinkling laugh. As she comes into view, I can see she is stood with some fucker who likes like Tarzan. He's all dark wavy hair, tanned skin, large biceps and wearing some ridiculously tiny, white shorts. His greedy dark eyes are all over Elena and she seems to be loving every second!


A red mist descends and before I can stop myself, I have barged over to them.

"This your son?" Tarzan drawls before I can speak, finally taking his eyes off Elena and regarding me with a smirk.

My words come out in a harsh rush. "No I'm her..."

FUCK! Now what do I say? Boyfriend...lover...SUB? Shit...

"Christian is a friend who is keeping me company on holiday." Elena interjects tightly.

I turn to look at her and she is glaring her no-holds-barred-Domme-stare at me.

Shit! Does she expect me to drop to my knees and bow my head right in front of this fucker?

Luckily Tarzan intervenes. "Yeah, so like I was saying, just bring those tickets to the dinner dance tomorrow night and you'll get half price drinks." He pauses and glances briefly at me. "Bring your...umm...friend too, if you need."

IF. SHE. NEEDS? I'm seriously gonna kick the crap out of...

"Thank you. I will." Elena rasps. "Get the cool-box, Christian," she snaps without looking at me. She throws her sarong around her and marches purposely up the beach towards the car, leaving Tarzan and I staring after her.



"Why are you mad at me?" I ask after we have driven off in stony silence.

"Oh let's see," She begins in an icy tone. "I was organising a nice night out for us and you come crashing in like some over-possessive, jealous boyfriend and nearly blow our cover!"

I feel myself blanch and my stomach knots. "I didn't like the way he was looking at you," I whisper.

Elena briefly glances at me and then glares angrily out of the windshield. "You need to get over this, Christian. You cannot keep blowing a fuse every time I spend time with Linc or talk to another man!" She snarls.

Holy shit! I've really pissed her off!

I sink into the car seat as the golden Malta scenery whizzes past.



We arrive back at the house and I slip out of the car and go to grab the cool-box off the back seat.

"Leave that." She says in an irritated growl. "Go have a shower before you get sand everywhere."

I slink unhappily into the house. I cannot believe my perfect day has descended into misery.

All this because I got pissed at Tarzan? Is she really that touchy?

I slip into the shower and turn my face up to the welcoming warm spray.

I can't help the way I feel about her. Why shouldn't I get angry when she spends time with other men? Okay - we don't have what would be deemed a regular relationship, but we are together for all intents and purposes. She has totally turned my life around and been a real force for good. Jeez - when I think, if Carrick had just given me an advance on my allowance, I'd have never have met...


I let out a loud, pained shriek as something hard strikes my wet, bare ass. I go to turn around but I am struck even harder and I shriek again.

"Stay as you are and put your hands behind your back, Peachy." Elena's voice hisses from behind me.

FUCK! Where did she get a cane from?

I place my trembling hands in the small of my back and I feel the familiar cold, harsh metal of handcuffs snap into place.













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