Moment in time

I gave birth to a shapely little girl. I was seventeen when I became a mom to my daughter. She had just me and I didn't tell her who was her father. I lived a pretty normal life, until he came back.

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2. That day!

Lilly laughed at me when I picked her up at preschool. She was always in a good mood and she was running around like a fool. I loved her and couldn't get angry.
"Come and take on your coat!" I got out of me and she stayed right up.
"Mom, I want ice cream!"
I got hold of her and got on her the jacket. She looked pleadingly at me and I smiled at her.
"Ice cream you eat in the summer. You will only freeze!"
She sighed
"But a little ice cream. It doesn't need to be great one!"
I just smiled and lifted her up in my arms. I took her out to the parking lot and put her in the car. She talked on and she was full of life. I got around her the belt and closed the door. It was Friday and I was tired. It was getting dark and I could fall asleep on the spot. Still, I kept going.

 

The grocery store was almost filled with customers, and we pulled the cart gently between the shelves. Lilly sat in the cart and looked at all that I put in it.
"No ice cream?"
I laughed lightly at her.
"We have some ice cream at home!"
She sighed and looked at the tomatoes that came in a bag in the cart. I just smiled at her and took other things that we needed. I stopped at the meat and checked through if it was something that suited us.  

 

"Tess?" I suddenly heard someone say behind my back and I turned around. Direct I met those familiar eyes. Blue eyes and a gorgeous smile that made me swoon. I swallowed and smiled at Niall.
"Hey!"
He hugged me and then looked at Lilly. I saw that he was surprised that I was a mom, and then he looked at me again.
"How are you?"
I swallowed and felt to just disappear. I didn't know what to say and I almost lost the power to speech.
"Ho, it's good!" I was silly of me, and noted that Niall let his eyes slide between Lilly and me. "That's my daughter!"
He smiled at Lilly.
"So you have a family now?"

I laughed uncertainly and was grateful to Lilly replied to me.
"It's me and my mom. I have no dad!"
Niall raised his eyebrow and smiled at her.
"So you live with mom?"
She nodded with satisfaction and as always she talked on.
"We're going to eat ice cream, but Mom buys no to me!"
I sighed and gave her a quick glance. Then I met Nialls eyes and he seemed happy to see me. He was still as beautiful as I remember, but older. I saw that he had matured and he looked more experienced. Still, I had the emotions inside me. There was a tingling in my stomach and my legs became weak.
"Good to see you!" I got out of me and I decided to leave him there. I grabbed the cart but to my surprise he stopped me.
"Do you want to meet me some day?"

I hesitated and I gave Lilly a long look. I gulped and realized that this didn't feel right. Why was it so important to see me? Niall hadn't bothered for three years and a side of me was hurt. I didn't want to tear up my old memories or feelings and I didn't want to feel abandoned again.
"I don't have the time!" I said. Niall didn't give up. He picked up a business card and gave it to me.
"I'm serious, Tess!" he whispered almost. "It would be really fun to meet you!"
I took the card and looked at it. On the business card was his home number, mobile phone number and an address to a rich area. I looked up at him and felt the tears almost came.
"We'll see!"

 

"Mom who was he?"
I swallowed and did everything possible not to start crying.
"Mom's old friend!"
Lilly smiled big and didn't notice that I was anything but happy.
"He was nice. You should meet him!"
I sighed and smiled weakly at her. It was her father, but she knew nothing about it. I wondered if Niall saw the similarity between them, but I doubted it.
"There are many nice guys, but I can't meet them all!"
Lilly giggled and looked up at me happily.
"But you never meet a guy?"
I laughed
"No, because I have you!"

 

When Lilly was sleeping in the evening, came the tears. I started to cry and I recognized the hopelessness in my body and in my heart. I realized that I still loved him and I hated him for it. Couldn't he just let me be? I had moved on and I had finally managed to create a life. Did he have to ruin it?

 

When Niall and I met, he had fallen for me directly. I saw him as a wimpy chatterbox who didn't know how to be social. Somewhere in the summer, we found yet another. I still remember the feeling in my body when he kissed me. I remember the night when he took my virginity and I took his. I couldn't stop thinking about all the things he said to me, and all the feelings that I had.

 

"I love you so much!" he whispered always to me. "I don't think you can love a girl as much as I love you!"
The words came to be nothing the day he left me. I had thought it would be Niall and me. I had thought it would never end and I had so many plans around him. So it was a shock that one day realize that I had lost him. It hurt and it hurt so much inside me.
"He isn't worth the tears!" told my friends, but I knew that he was worth more. The problem was that he might know about it? Why did he otherwise breaking up with me? I had looked at television how the fans screamed and the girls pined for him. He certainly had changed and he thought for sure he was super nice.

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