what i want but cant have!!

my name is Joyce Tomlinson, recognise the last name, yeah I am Louis Tomlinson’s younger sister. Im turning 16 in about 2 months I have to live with 5 boys and 1 being my brother that I hate, okay I don’t really hate him but im just really annoyed with him he hasn’t spoken to me in a year and a half and now he wants me to move in with him. But there is a problem I like someone but I know they don’t like me back, but only like me as a sister figure, great.
Read to find out what happens.


23. "please be okay!"

liam's P.O.V.

i pull up to the hospital and tur my car off before jumping out and runing inside with

El, just as joyce is being taken in to another room, me and el quickly follow her but the doctors stop us at the door

"thats my girlfriend and baby let me past" i say to the doctor

"im sorry sir but we cant let you, please sit down over there and we will get you when we have news, and ma'am please help him to sit down" the doctor says to me than the last bit to Eleanor, El drags me over to sit down on the seats as she rubs my back.

"li its going to be okay, they both are" she says trying to reasure me

"how do you that they will be okay, they both might die becasue of that bastard!" i scream a little, and get a few glares from the staff and people waiting, El stays quiet but still keeps rubbing my back.

***1 hour passes*****

it been an hour and we have heard nothing, my phone starts ringing, as well as El's, it must be the boys, i pick it up not bothering to look at the ID

"hello" i say

"liam where are you and joyce?" zayn asked

"t-the hospital" i say quietly.

"what are you doing there, what happend" he asked, i just broke down thinking about it again" kay we are coming just wait there" zayn says

"im not going anywhere!" i say down the phone a bit harshly then i press the end call button and drop my phone on the ground by my feet.

***20 minutes later******

the boys come running in and lou runs up to me and El hugging us,

"how is she?" he asks, ima about to reply when a doctor comes out

"people here for joyce tomlinson." the doctor asked everyone stood up,

"uh, okay is there a boyfriend and friend or brother here?" he asked, me El and Lou step forward

"okay only two of you can come fro the moment." he says to us

"lou, i know she's your sister but can i go in with El please, i promise ill tel you the news afterwards" i say with tears in my eyes and on my cheeks.

"okay but yu had better tell me everything okay." he says to me with watery eyes and tear stained cheeks too.

i grab El's wrist and pull her towards the doctor

"okay follow me please" he says as he turns around and walks down the hall, we follow him into a room which must be his office.

"hae a seat please" he says gesturing us to sit down. we walk over and sit down in the chairs facing his desk he sit down in his and puts his hand in a ball on his desk

"now you both knew she was pregnant right?" he ask we both nodded "well your the boyfriend?"  he asks me, i just nodd my head agian, becasue  dont trust what will come oout of my mouth if i open it at the moment and i could end bad, "well im so sorry sir but because of the stabbing in the side she has lost the baby, im so sorry for your loss" he says to me, as i hear that she had lost the baby i had broken down more. i just kept crying i didnt care if i looked like a wimp, i dont care anymore i had just lost my unborn son or daughter and it hurts so much.

"is she okay?" El asks the doctor.

"she is we stictched her up and she didnt loose heaps of blood but becasue of her cutting a few years ago we are gonna have to keep her  in for the week. okay?!" he stated towards El

"yeah, um may we see her?" El asks the doctor

"yeah sure, come on" he says standing up and walking to the door  we follow him out and into a room about 3 doors down. he opens the door for us and El walks in before i do, i walk in after her and see joyce laying ther in the bed staring up at the ceiling, i smile seeieng that she is alright, ovbviously she hasnt been told about her loss yet, i walk over and stand beside her bed, i grab her and in mine and bring it to my lips and give it a kiss, she turns her head and smile, but it soon fade not long after.

"did you find out?" she asks me, i looked at her confused for a moment on what had happened, but soon realise she must know too, tears started streaming down our faces

"bub is gone" she says and i get on the bed next to her crying wih her.

"but the good thing is that you are okay" i say to her giving her a very passionate kiss on the lips, after we had calmed down  and stoped crying the boys came in and talked to joyce and i about it all, i told them everything but the pregnancy and the loss.

***1 week later****

joyce has been really quiet throughout this week and all the boys are wondering why, only me a nd El know, but i know that if the boys keep asking why she's quiet she going to crack. big time. we are now in the car on the way back to our hotel. with joyce her mum and louis is going to ve there when we get there cause she has news for us all to hear.

i pull up to the back of the hotel, and we all get out, i lock the car and we make our way inside and up to the rooms, once we get there we walk in to see jo louis and joyce's mum sitting on the couch. we are all in mine and joyce's room seein as its bigger than the rest but not by much. we all sit on the couches and i pul joyce onto my lap she just sists there and cuddles up to me.

"hey eeryone, darling are you okay now, im so sorry" jo says to joyce.

"im okay" she says in a small voice

"okay i have great news for louis and joyce" she says looking at them, "im pregnant again" as soon as she says that joyce starts crying and jumps off my lap running into our room.

"whats wrong wiht joyce, i thought she'd be happy" jo says,

"yeah that was kind of rude to do to mum" louis says, i stand up straight , i know i shouldnt but there not going to know what happen so now's the best time

"excuse me" i say a little too loud

"what?" lou sasy acting inocent

"your sister , and your daughter ran of for a good reason, not that she not proud of you for becoming a parent again but we just lost a kid okay, joyce was preganant and she lost it , i was going to be a farther and im not now!" i say my voice trailing off at the end as im crying too hard i hadnt cried for a week but its all coming out now. i fell to the floor crying im weak agin great,

"liam?, why did you tell them" i hear joyce's voice coming from behind me.

"becasue they didnt know what was going on they thought you were being rude and i needed to tell them im sorry" i say to her pulling her down with me, i sit her between my legs and  we rock backwards and forwards.

"so you got my sister pregnant your dead payno" louis says to me

"i feel dead already please just get out and leave us alone." i say getting up and pulling joyce with me, "NOW!" I shout, we walk into our room and louis comes to the bedroom door before i can close it and holds it open

"seriously no need to be rude mate, we didnt know and dont you dare shout at me or my mum!" he says

"listen louos you dont know how it feels to loose a baby, im pretty sure your mum does but i know you dont so just leave us alone please oky im sorry for yelling, no get out of my hotel room or ill get Dave to ascort you out!" i say to him, he just looks at me one more time before walking out  the front door of the hotel room after the others.

i walk over to joyce and lay down with her in my arms

"its going to be alright babe i promise" i say to her, she just nodds,

"liam can you sing me one of your new songs please?" she asks

"sure babe" i say to her and kiss her forehead

"He knows about you in every way
He's memorized every part of your face
Inside and out, baby, head to toe
Yeah, he knows everything there is to know
Your secret tattoo, the way you change moods
The songs that you sing when you're all alone
Your favorite band, the way that you dance
Baby, baby"
i look at her as she smiles up at me.

"Does he know you could move it like that?
Does he know your out and I want you so bad
Tonight, you're mine, baby
Does he know that you'll never go back?, oh
Does he know?"
i finish as she is sitting up next to me now.

"your voice is so wonderful liam" she says smiling properly

"well i do love to sing and see you smile" i say to her, she smiles and blushes

"wait is that song about me?" she asks

"why, do youthink that?" i ask her

"beacuse it's got a secret tattoo, that i have never told anyone about other than you" she says to me

"probably, i actually dont know harry wrote that one" i say to her

"oh then its not me" she says

Joyce's P.O.V.

"yeah, but hey are you sure he doesnt know about the tattoo?" he asks me

"not that i know of" i say to him still thinking "actually i think he may of seen it when he came home with louis one time and we went swimming" i say

"oh okay then so it might be we will ask tommorrow." he says

"yep, night liam" i say laying back down

"night beautiful" he says to me, i rest my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me protectively. i fall strsaight to sleep



-Tayla x

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