what i want but cant have!!

my name is Joyce Tomlinson, recognise the last name, yeah I am Louis Tomlinson’s younger sister. Im turning 16 in about 2 months I have to live with 5 boys and 1 being my brother that I hate, okay I don’t really hate him but im just really annoyed with him he hasn’t spoken to me in a year and a half and now he wants me to move in with him. But there is a problem I like someone but I know they don’t like me back, but only like me as a sister figure, great.
Read to find out what happens.


16. london than wolverhampton!

joyce's P.O.V.

We had just gotten off the 6 and a half hour plane ride and now we are saying good by to Perrie,Jade, Liegh-anne and Jesy,

"bye girls i'll miss you" i say giving them a group hug

"we will miss you too!" they all reply, i smile to them before walking back over to liam and hugging his side.

"liam promise me you will look after her for me, she's like my sister and dont hurt hur or ill hurt you" perrie says giving liam a hug

"trust me i'll never let her out of my sight and i'll never hurt her i promise" he says to her, the other 3 girls give him a hug saying something along the same line as perrie aswell. they give me one last hug as well as El and tey walk away but not before Perrie gives Zayn another hugg and kiss

"bye everyone" they yell as they are walking down the tunel thing to the plane

"bye girls" we all yell back, as they disapear down the tunnel

"Okay come o lets get home!" liam says to everyone

"yeah!" comes from everyone, we all walk out the front doors to see only a few fans seeing as its like 6 o'clock in the morning. the boys sign some stuff and get some picture aswell as me and El, the fans actually love us too.

"boys......girls lets go!" baldy says from the van

"okay, lets go boys" i say ussuring them away from their fans

"bye guys, we love you" the boys scream to their fans as we get into the vans slighlty silencing the noise.

*** 1 hour later*****

 we are all currently getting our luggage out of the second van that had arrived just before us and taking them inside, i walk right into mine and Liam's part of the house and into my room before setting my suitcase down and walking over to my closet and grabbing a few outfits from there and walking over to put them on my bed before unpacking my suitcase.

once that was done i collect my shoes and jewlery and put them into a seprate little bad than putting that bag into my suitcase, i had left all my hair, makeup, and girl things in my bag so i didnt need to pack them.

"babe you ready?" liam asks walking in

"yeah one sec" i say to him running into my ensuite and going to do my buisness, after i finished washing my hands i am about to walk out the bathroom door when i catch sight of my clender on the back,'dont ask why'

I quickly look at my cycle that i have marked down on it, i realise im going to get it while im at liam's, i quickly walk back over to the sink and grab some extra pad and tampons before running out and stuffing them in my suitcase

"now im ready" i say to liam pickking up my suitcase only to have it taken off me by liam and him walking out othe the bedroom. i follow after him and as i get to the main entance of the house all the boys are waiting

"what are you guys doing?" i ask them

"we want to say goodbye to you, we wont see you for two weeks" harry says the last part in a little chlds voice, just laugh at him

"okay harry" i say to him, he walks over to me picking me up and spinning me around

"bye sis" Harry says, and yes he calls me his sister, we are just that close he helps me out alot as well as the other boys, but the great thing is i gained 3 new brothers and a lovely boyfriend.

"bye, bye" they all say giving me one last group hug, god i love these boys!

"bye" i say as they all step back away from the hug

"alright, come on babe we have a 2 and half hour drive ahead of us" liam says pulling me into him, we walk over to the car and he opens the door for me, i climb in and he closes the door before jogging over to is side and getting in

"bye" i yell back to the boys waving at them as we pull out of the drive way


its ben an hour now and we have been talking about what we are going to do for the two weeks and singing to the radio.

all of a sudden "more than this" came onto the radio, i laughed with liam and turned it up more, he started singing

"Im broken, do you hear me?
Im blinded, cause you are everything I see,
Im dancin alone, Im praying,
That your heart will just turn around,

And as I walk up to your door,
My head turns to face the floor,
Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say" he sings his part

"you have a great voice liam" i say to him being honest

"so do you, and thanks!" he says

"trust me i dont, lou got the good voice" i relpy to him, smiling

"okay you sing a part of the song for me then and i'll tell you how good you are out of 10" he says to me

"fine" i say, listening to the song for the part i love singing.

"Ive never had the words to say,
But now Im askin you to stay
For a little while inside my arms,
And as you close your eyes tonight,
I pray that you will see the light,
Thats shining from the stars above" i sing then liam sings his part

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just wont feel right,
Cause I can love you more than this," he finishes, then i start with my absolute favourte part,cause i know i can hold a note

"Cause I can love you more than this, yeah" i sing holding the 'yeah' for a little while longer than supposed too.

we both finishe off the song together, me ovbiously singing the high notes from zayn though. when that songs finished another song called 'just breath' by anna nalick

"i know this song" i say all happy and clapping my hands, liam starts laughing at me

"well sing it then!" he says

"okay" i say not really caring if im singing infront of him anymore, i mean i dont sing infront of anyone anymore because i hate getting compared to louis all the time thats why i had stoped singing about 2 years ago, but i still write my own songs. i started from the second verse.

"'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe."

by the time i had finished singing the song i was crying, the onl reason why was because of eric, this song reminded me of 'us' or what we had, and what he had done to me, liam must of stopped the car because it wasnt moving anymore and he was now hugging me, rubbing my back

"babe please dont cry, your gonna make me cry" he says to me

"I-Im s-sorry" i say to him

"shhhhh, its okay do you want to talk about it?" he asks, still rubbing my back

"not right now" i say to him, speaking properly as i have calmed down a bit now.

"okay, well come on wher here" he says letting me go and getting out of the car, as he walks around to my side i wipe my eyes and make myself decent.

liam opens the door for me and helps me out, we walk to the back of the car and get our bags out before liam locks it and we walk up the pathway to the door

"you ready?" he asks me

"yep!" i say, as he knocks on the door..............



-Tayla x

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