what i want but cant have!!

my name is Joyce Tomlinson, recognise the last name, yeah I am Louis Tomlinson’s younger sister. Im turning 16 in about 2 months I have to live with 5 boys and 1 being my brother that I hate, okay I don’t really hate him but im just really annoyed with him he hasn’t spoken to me in a year and a half and now he wants me to move in with him. But there is a problem I like someone but I know they don’t like me back, but only like me as a sister figure, great.
Read to find out what happens.


4. hot london night

Joyce's P.O.V.

I finished making the sandwiches and put them on a plate. i walked out to the little lounge area with the two plates in my hands.

"here" i saud to liam who was watching toy story 1 on the tv."yay my fav movie!" i said, while looking at the tv and sitting down

"thanks, and you like toy story too?" he said/asked

"yeah i love it ,a nd its alright!" i say back smiling widely at him he returned the smile and started eating, i sarted eating mine two and within 10 minutes we were done i stood up

"hey liam inm gonna go change into pj's, cause its too hot to waer this" i said jesturing to the long pants and top i had on

"okay" he said, i walked off into my room and looked for some pj's, all i found were my long  one's, than i thought, i really do like liam, maybe if i wear the pj's i bought just in case anything happens, liam will notice me more as a girl/friend instead of a sister. i smiled to myself and waked over to the dresser and got out my batman booty shorts and my yellow bra and a fish net top(sorry i dont know what kind of tops they are) and went to change. (this is the outfit)

after i had done i walked to my mirror and looked myseld over in it, if louis was here he would kill me if he saw me wearing this lol, i brushed through my hair and left it down then walked to my bedroom door and walked out into the small living area.

"hey li im back, can we watch toy story 2 please?" i saked as i was walking over to the couch where he was, i looked at his face and jees i could have luaghed my head of but  i bit my lip trying not to laugh. he looked so shocked and surprised at the same time from what i was wearing.

"uh..... w-what...are...y-you...wearing?" he stuttted "um my pj's" i said acting dumb, i leaned over to pick up the plates that were on the table and i could feel liam looking at my ass, 'yes it's working!' i thought to myself. i walked into the kitchen and put the plates in there. as i walked out of the kitchen louis,harry,niall and zayn all walked in 'oh shit!' i thought, louis took one glance at me and started to yell.


"lou its just my pj's"i said back

"no its not its prostiutes and sluts clothes get them off now!" he sjouted again

"so what im a prostitute and a slut now am i, and no im not taking them off!" i yelled back

"well if you wont take them off, you belong in them you stupid slut!" he yelled, as soon as he said it i started crying, and i could see he regretted saying that

"im so so-" lou started before i cut him off

"NO LOU, IT WASN'T MY FAULT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE!" I screamed all the other boys looked at each other trying to figure out what i was saying,

"yes you did you decided to go to er-" lou stsrted before i cut him off again

"NO DONT SAY HIS NAME!!, YOU KNOW I DONT LIKE THAT NAME!!" I yelled, bye now im so hard it getting hard to breath and speak. i run off too my room straight after i finished it balling my eyes out i slammed my door and fell onto my bed still crying.



I quickly tried to go after her but harry and niall held me back so i couldn't

"let me go!" i yelled at then struggling to get out tof there grip.

"no lou sit down and calm down and let her calm down" liam said, i agreed and sat down

"so you gonna tell us what just happened?" niall asked

"i cant, i really want to but its up to joyce to tell you not me, i know last time i mentioned this she-" i started before relisation kicked into me

"oh no she gonna do it again!" i said as i tried to get up but being pulled back down bye the other boys.

"what is she gona do?" liam asked, as he stood in front of me with his arms crossed, i strted crying

"she's gonna hurt herself, because of it, she almost died last time she cut!" i said, but as soon as i said it liam ran off down the hall way, i tried to get up but the boys were still holding me down.



i got up afer a few minutes of crying and went into my toiletry bag and found what i neede than walked into my bathroom clossing the door, i sat on the floor against the bath and looked down at the shinny silver blade in my hand from my razor. i lifted it to my wrist and slid it across, this was the only thing that eases the pain i did it again and again till my arm had 6 cuts on it, i droped the blade and strted crying, not caring that there was blood everywhere.



I quickly ran down the small halway and straight into joyce's room to find she isnt there, i then see her toiletry bag oppen and a razor on the groung missing a blade 'oh no!' i quickly run to her bathroom and open it to see her on the cold floor crying and blood evrywhere.

"joyce" i say shocked, she looks up then starts crying more before she looks back down, i walk over to her and pick her up bridal style not worring about all the blood getting on me. i walk over and put her on the bench in the bathroom before grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink, i clean her up and take her into her room and lay her on the bed.

"thanks li" she said still crying.

" its okay can you tell me whay you done this to yourself?" i ask, she noddes and stops crying and sniffling

"um beacuse of him" is all she says "who louis?" i ask she shakes her head 'no' "then who" i ask, she looks at me smiles than frowns

"E-Eric" She says "he was my boyfrind at the time and i went over to is house to suprise him and found him cheating, than he kicked the girl out and pushed me insidde and he-he  r-raped me" she says crying, i felt so soory for her, i cuddled her into my arms "i love you joyce" i wispered

"i love you too li"she says,

"no i mean im in love with you joyce, i have loved you sincce i first met you" i say,

"i-i love you too li, i thought you didnt love me back though, cause you kept saying you only loved me like a sister" she said

"well i had to say that so lou wouln't suspect a thing"i say looking into her eyes, i slowly lean in and she does to, our lips meet and i feel sparks we start making out as she gets onto my lap and wrapps her arms around my neck while i wrpp mine around her waist. we make out for 5 minutes than pull away trying to catch our breath.

"joyce will you be my girlfriend?" i ask her

"i would loe too" she says smilling which then turns to a frown. "but what about louis?" she asks

"well we could alway go out behind all their backs" i suggest with a smile

"oh you naughty boy payno, i didn't think you were that kind of guy, and sure sounds like the perfect plan" she says laughing, i laugh too and she gets up off me and lays down next to me

"night beautiful" i wisper to her

"night li" she says and within a couple minutes she is asleep im my arms. i pull the blanket up over us just as the other boys walk into the room

"shhhh" i sayto the boys, pointing to joyce for them to be quiet they all nodd and lou walks over to me

"im not going to be mad at you, that you are laying with my sister in er bed only because of what happened but if it was any other reason i would kill you" lou said

"lou seriously, she needs to grow up and not be bossed around by someone all the time" i say he shakes his head in dissaproval

"no" he simply says "anyway did she end up cutting this time?" lou asked worried, i nodded

"yeah, but it wasn't bad only about 6 cuts and they wern't that deep except one" i said

"okay" lou said "night li" lou says

" night" i say to all the boys they reply with a goodnight too and leave, i lay down and fall asleep with my baby in my arms safe and sound.



Hope you like it, please fav, comment and like thanks my lovelies

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