The girl who spent 6 months in a psychiatric hospital. Me.

This is my own, true story about my 6 months in a psychiatric ward being treated for my suicide attempts, self harm, bulimia, anxiety, and PTSD


5. The bullying, self harming, binging and purging began.

I was in year 9.

I had a boyfriend, Tom. I had bestfriends, sophie, amy and nicole. I was happy.

Until, a boy forced me into sending him pictures. He sent me one first, telling me he loved me. He lied. After i sent him a picture, he showed my boyfriend. To this day, i hate myself so much for sending that one picture.

The boy promised not to show anyone, and to delete it straight after i sent it to him. We promised. I kept my promise.

By the end of that week, everyone had seen this picture of me.

I didnt know what to do. I had heard about cutting before. I didnt personally know anyone who did it, but i thought it would be a release, an escape. So i cut. It was on my right ankle. I carved a T into my ankle.

They say your first cut is the deepest. But its not. I mean it scarred, but its fading.

People around school called me fat. I knew i was fat, but it just hurts more when people point it out.

I used to go home and cry myself to sleep.

I used the money i didnt use to get takeaways from my dad, to but junk food. crisps, chocolate, sweets, just everything with tons of sugar, and loads of calories.

I felt horrible after i binged. I lost control. I needed to gain control. What do i do?

I put 2 fingers down my throat, far enough down that i gagged. I held them there. The first ever bit of food that i made myself throw up, i felt so proud. Look what i can do.

Thats how that begun.

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