Diana |Niall Horan|

I was always that type of girl that never disobeyed her parents, but still never seemed to please them. I tried my best in every task given to me, yet no one noticed. I was bullied my whole life. I was depressed my whole life-I am depressed. I'm a mistake. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm dumb. I'm delusional. I'm deluded. I'm crazy. I'm obsessed. I'm a loser. I'm a freak. I'm emo. I'm awkward. I'm hurt. I'm alone. I'm a mess. I'm suicidal. I'm misunderstood. I'm hurt but won't show it. I'm screaming but no one can hear. I'm in pain. I'm alone. I'm Diana.

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2. • ∂ν∂ σиє •

      The blondes chuckle radiated through the room as he finished reading yet another fan letter. He shook his head while still laughing before shifting in his seat and placing the letter nicely on the table. He then began to search for an eye catching piece of fan mail. His eyes wandered through more and more letters until he finally set his pupils on an orange decorated box. He mentally predicted what could be inside the peculiar looking box, in wanting of his assumption to be accurate. But when he finally did open the box and saw its possessions, he basically went bonkers. Inside the box stood two stacks of DVDs. Now Niall thought they were simply DVDs about a fan explaining why she loved the band and such. And even though he had practically seen over 100 videos with the same plot and was sure his hypothesis was correct, he still showed excitement for watching. You see, Niall had always been the kind if person who could watch a video over and over again and still find it amusing. And yes maybe I did exaggerate a bit on the 100 videos thingy, but at least Liam did complete the task. You aren't surprised now are you? I knew it. The Irish man sat still on his very jumpy bed only wishing for the video to start. His eyes caught sight of a green eyed brunette flashing on the screen. Niall thought the girl was ok looking, but it wasn't till she showed her whole body that he stared bewildered. The image of the girl got him to question his weight. It's not that the girl was over weight but it was the fact that she looked BELOW weight. He let the thought and image cross his mind one last time before focusing back on the girl as she began to speak. "Features. Features are things that define your face or body. Some people have pretty features while other are blessed with ugly ones. For example, me. You see, I wasn't blessed with the inherited blonde hair and blue eyes my family possesses. Instead, I have these pale green eyes and discolored brown hair. The question is why. Why am I not a blonde? Why do I not look like neither of my parents? Why am I so pale? And honestly, those are literally the same questions my parents have. They even told me that when they first saw me they questioned if the doctor gave them the right baby. I have absolutely no idea why they would tell me that memory. Because to be completely honest, it would've hurt less to get run over by a car than listening to your parents basically disown you. But you see, the thing is that being honest is ok, but being too honest sometimes hurts. They also never even one time in their life glanced at my report card. They never acknowledge my straight A's. Kendall though, was always the best to them,maybe if they had acknowledged my existence they would have noticed that Kendall's A's and B's were inferior to my staright A's. But as time went on, I learned to understand that I was alone in this world. And I accepted it. It was hard but I managed to move on from my parents' doings and focus on my future. I was doing surprisingly well, until things came crumpling down. It was a Friday and there I was sitting outside on my balcony simply admiring the beauty of the outside world. I begin to hear footsteps getting closer to my room, until Mia, the house keeper, came into my room to inform me of my mothers wishing for me to eat dinner with my family for once. And of course, I did what was best and denied the offer but it wasn't until Mia said that it was a demand that I questioned my decision My mother had always been a hard person to deal with and I knew that if I failed to go down, she would surely not hesitate to fire poor Mia. And so I thought about Mia and decide I didn't want to see that poor women out in the streets. And yeah I got ready and probably managed to break the record for the slowest walk down the stairs. I was practically going 0 miles and hour, if that's even possible. Wait, it is because all I did was stand their which caused my oh so perfect sister to come drag me to the dining room. Once we walked in, I noticed that it wasn't only my 2 sisters, brother, and parents that were eating, but my already in college brother was also here, as well as many other family member who's existence I couldn't give a fuck about. But as soon as I saw my brother, Dylan, I attacked him with a hug. Luckily, he hugged back and we were good. We all then sat down and began eating. All was going just fine until my mother decided she needed to give me a shout out. The next thing that happened was a total blur. I remember my mom pointing at me and saying something around the lines of "you've gained weight honey, you should stop eating those mashed potatoes they aren't doing you any good." From there, everything came down. Everyone began laughing at me and for the rest of the 'lovely' dinner, continued to make jokes about my body. I laughed of course but by the small smiles Dylan sent me, I knew he wasn't buying the act. He was the only one that didn't laugh for gods sake! Shortly after, everyone left and we were once again alone. Dylan decided he would sleep here instead of wasting his money on a hotel and I was genuinely happy for that because Dylan sleeping over meant being happy. That too made a detour once Dylan began yelling at my mother about her rude comment to me. I simply stood their as the tears continued to built in my eyes until I let them go. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE LEAVE AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING BACK BECAUSE YOU MY SON AREN'T WELCOMED HERE ANY MORE." That was all it took for the only person that caused me to smile to walk out of my life. That night Dylan left without even saying goodbye. That night I cried myself to sleep. That night was the first night that I felt insecure. That night I decided not to eat the snickers bar I had in my drawer. That night I lost communication with Dylan. That night I thought about commuting suicide. Five years later and everything's the same. I still cry myself to sleep and constantly question my motivation for living. And I haven't seen nor talked to Dylan. This was the night that started it all. And as the years went on, things got more difficult. I was faced with more challenges and here I am, ready to tell you all about them. All you need to do is listen."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N;Wooo ey! Well that's the first chapter :). This whole story will most likely be written in the third person point of view. And if there's ever a chapter that isn't ill probably address who's POV it's written in then. Ok so bye.:)) Comment&&Like&&Favorite Please!:) Goal for next update:10Favorites&&40+ reads. •ʝα¢ку вℓυє•

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