The Crossed Pathways to Home

Lucy's world is fading. Sad, alone, her grandmother dying, the rest of the world hating her, what's to look forward to?
But when a mysterious blonde haired boy turns up...

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23. The sister

~~Even though I wasn't 'normal', over the next few days, I began to worry over a normal girl thing. The voices in my head didn't really help. And it was stupid because it was something that I couldn't shake, and I definitely didn't want to ask Finbarr about it.
"Lucy!" I snapped his head towards his direction.
Ah crap.
I had a tendency to look into the distance, thinking, with a worried expression of my face. I gulped, and noticed Lisa, Seamus and Christopher looking at me expectantly. Chloe and David had left a couple of days ago.
"Em...can I...just talk to you for a second?" I asked, tearing my gaze away from everyones' stares. I might as well get it over with. He jumped up and held the door open. I pulled myself up and walked outside, rubbing my arm, stopping just above my wrists. We went to the front of the house, and Finbarr leaned against the wall.
It was so unfair! He looked like a model on a photo-shoot, flawless and posed, but he wasn't even trying. I was there in my red hoodie, feeling rumpled and untidy, even though I had made some form of effort.
"What's wrong. You've been worried for ages."
"Ugh, am I that obvious?" I cringed. He shrugged.
"Sometimes." He paused. "So, go on. Tell me." I sighed.
"Remember...um...on your birthday?" I awkwardly began. He nodded. "And, em...we were on the beach and I got a bit..." I trailed off. He looked down, but quickly looked back up again.
"Yeah?" I blew out my cheeks, wondering whether I was being stupid or not.
You're always stupid.
All right, all right, I'll ask him.
"And you said I was underage. Was that all?" His face dropped to a scowl.
"What?" he snapped.
"Was that all?" I timidly asked, taken aback.
"What, so because I respect you, and didn't want to have by law raped you, you have a go?!" he growled.
"Finbarr, it wasn't like that!" I protested.
"Oh, so I don't have sex with every girl I see, so I'm a weirdo?!"
"Finbarr!" I angrily shouted. "What is wrong with you?!"
"So just because I wasn't ready to sleep with you"
"Is that why?" I interrupted him. He stopped mid-sentence. "Because you weren't ready" I repeated gently. He slightly nodded.
"I just wouldn't want to think of our first night like that to be a bad, illegal thing. I couldn't live with the fact that I had by law raped you."
Relief flooded my body. I knew it was ridiculous, but I had begun to let the monsters in my head convince me that he thought I was ugly, or didn't truly love me or something non-sensical like that.
But it's plausible, came the almost silent voices.
Shut up.
"Finbarr, I understand" I assured him. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down.
"I just didn't want you to think..." he mumbled. I cocked my head and raised my eyebrows.
"Think what?" He sadly smiled.
"I don't know. I just didn't want you to not go out with me anymore."
"Look Finbarr, I'm from a generation of girls who are shallow and sleep with people as soon as they can and peer pressure and all that crap. I don't want to be like that, man! I'm sorry I got carried away. All you have to say is stop and that'll be the end of it. Of course I still want to go out with you. I love you Finbarr!.. I'm not that bad, am I?" I softly asked. He shook his head.
"I'm sorry for snapping" he whispered.
"Doesn't matter" I shrugged. He looked up at me, a puppy smile emerging on his face. I couldn't help but grin. His scary, diamond pupils were pulsating.
"We're cool?" he asked.
"We're always cool" I honestly told him. He gulped. "Want a hug?" I asked. I knew I did. He looked like he was about to cry, and subtly nodded his head. He encased me in his arms, and I held him tight, knowing something was wrong.
"What's the matter?" I asked his chest.
"I miss my sister this time of year" he said hesitantly, his voice dangerously quivery. "She always tried to make my birthday as special as she could when I was little. Dad was never there. Used to leave us for days at a time. But when he was there, he was horrible." I felt a shudder ripple throughout his body. He was as disturbed as I was, had as crappy of a past as I did. He just didn't show it that often. He wrapped my arms around his neck, and buried his blonde head into my neck. I could feel his tears dampening my skin, and his body hiccuped. I held him tight, held the shaven back section of his head and silently sighed. I roughly kissed his head, near his ear. There was nothing I could say. But I knew that he needed his sister. How I was going to give her to him though, was something I didn't know.

 

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