Existing

I am 19 now. I am sitting out on the front step by myself. Mum isn't here anymore, she left last year. For the better, I suppose. My brother lives in California, in a law firm. And dad, well. He is still here in my heart. I collect the daily paper now, and I sit on the step reading that whilst drinkin my coffee with 5 sugars. I'm lonely. Occasionally friends come over, mostly not though. I work a lot. But on my days off, I find myself sitting here, on the front step staring into a blank neighbourhood.

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10. Chapter 10.

It has been about a week and I am jobless, and I am loving it. Harry has been in and out of the house all week but he never says where he is going. Maybe he is going to see that girl, I think April was her name. I have to ask him about that when he comes home.

I have been cleaning the apartment all day, really. I have been scrubbing the walls and vaccuming the ground and I cleaned out like everything. 

I look in the fridge and find absolutely nothing. I told Harry to go shopping. I walk to the counter and grab my phone and dial Harry's number. "Hey" He says, "Hey, Harry." I say and he sighs in what seems like relief, "Thank god, I thought you were April." He says and I laugh. "You didn't go shopping." I state and he doesn't answer, "Oh, sorry yeah I am at the grocery store now. I won't be long." He says, before I could ask, he answers my question. "And yes, I have the list. Bye Charlie." He hangs up the phone and I decide to go and have a shower.

I walk into the bathroom and smile at how clean it is. I take off my clothes and chuck them in the hamper and turning on the bathroom fan. I turn on the shower and step in, I smile as the water hits my tense muscles and relaxes me instantly. 

I don't know how long I have been in here but I hear the door open and close. It must be Harry. I rinse out my hair, and hop out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. I walk into the kitchen and find Harry putting away the groceries. 

"You could help, or put some clothes on." Harry looks at me, but doesn't look at my eyes, he is looking at my towel. "Harry eyes up here." I said and he chuckled. "We wouldn't be having this problem if you were in nothing but a towel. I roll my eyes and turn around. "I will be out in a sec." I call and walk into my room. 

I pull on some old clothes and walk back into the kitchen and begin helping Harry. "What do you want to do tonight?" I asked and he shrugs, "Anything you want." He says smiling and I begin to boil the kettle. "I think I want to sit on the balcony for a while. I haven't even sat out there yet." I confess and he looks at me, "Would you like me to come sit with you?" He asked and I get a warm feeling rush through me.

"Yeah, sure." I say smiling. I make out coffee, and I take my coffee with six sugars and Harry grabs his and we walk out onto the balcony. It isn't that big but it is just big enough to fit a table and two chairs. I place down my coffee and I sit on the chair and Harry sits on the other side.

The view is beautiful, my father would love this. I sigh and Harry catches on, I keep staring out at the view, wondering what mum or dad would say if they could take in this view with me. But spending this moment with Harry is more then I could ask for, really. He warms my heart, and as much as I would hate to admit it but I have fallen for Harry. 

"You okay?" He asked, and I shrug. "I am fine, I just don't know what to talk about." I say and we fall into the awkward silence again and I begin to wonder, does Harry like anyone? "Yes, I do." He says and I look at him. "Did I just think out loud?" I ask and he nods and I go red from embarrassment. "Fuck, sorry." I mumble and he shrugs. "It's okay. I know who it is anyways." I say and his head shoots up. "You do?" He asks, his muscle are tense.

"It's April, right?" I ask and his muscles relax and he looks down, "Oh yeah, right. Yeah." He says and I feel a little hurt, a little sad. 

I check my phone and its nearly dinner. "Your turn to cook." I mention and he sighs, "Fine." He says and gets up and takes our mugs inside. I continue to sit outside for a while, then I drop of water hits my nose. Followed by a drop on my leg. Followed by a heap of rain drops saturating my body. I walk inside and Harry begins to laugh, "Sucked in." He says and I give him the finger.

I go and sit in my room on my bed and pull out my journal and begin to scribble down thoughts and some secrets. My mind wonders off into another world for a while as I scribble down pointless things that Harry has said to me and things that I have noticed. 

My mind is racing when harry knocks on the door. He walks in and I slam my book closed and chuck it to the other side of the room. Harry smirks at my sudden panic. "What's that?" He asked, "Nothing!" I shout, "It's nothing." I say a bit quieter and he frowns and then smirks. "Well, dinner is ready love." He said and I smile. "I will be out in a minute." I say as he walks out.

I hop off the bed and walk to my journal and closing it, walking to my draw and shoving it in. I can't let Harry see that again.

I walk into the kitchen and Harry is sitting at the table waiting for me to come out. "You didn't have to wait." I say as I sit down and he smiles, "I wanted too." He said and we begin to eat. "So, was that like, a journal?" He asks and I nod, "Yeah, it is." I say, a little embarrassed. "I have one too." He says and I look at him, "Yeah?" I say and he nods. We stay silent for a while.

"I will let you read mine one day, under the conditions that I get to read yours." He says and I smile. It would be nice to know what he thinks about, what his most secrets thoughts are. I wonder how often he writes in there. Maybe he writes about April, he did say that he likes her. 

I wash up after we finished eating and harry goes and picks a movie. "Can we watch Juno?" I call out, "I was actually just holding it in my hands." He yells back and I laugh. I finish washing up and I put the dishes away. I walk into the living room as Harry turns on the TV. 

I sit on the couch and he frowns, "I wanted to sit on that lounge!" He pouts and I laugh, "We can both sit here, Harry." I say and he shrugs, "Fine." He says and sits down, next thing I know his head is resting on my lap and I am playing with his hair, and we are watching Juno.

I look down and study his face, how is blinks, how he is so intently watching the TV screen. "Why are you staring at me?" He whispers and I look at the TV, "What are you talking about?" I whisper back and pretend like nothing happened. "I am uncomfortable." I look at him. He pauses the movie and looks at me, "Want to switch?" He asked and I shrug, "If you want to." I reply and he smiles and sits up, I lay down and rest my head on his lap, stretching out my legs. "Better?" He asked and I nod. I press play on the movie and we keep watching.

This is probably the closest I have been too Harry, like this. As he tangles his fingers in my hair and watches the movie, I look at the corner of my eye and now he is the one staring at me, but I don't do anything about it because I am falling asleep.

I'm not asleep, but if someone talked I could hear them. I just didn't have any energy to reply, it was like I was in a coma or something. I could hear everything but couldn't reply. It was quiet, maybe Harry fell asleep here. 

Oh, no. He is picking me up, carrying me into my room I guess. I feel the comfort of my bed and I wriggle around the get comfortable. I feel the blankets covering my body and a really soft kiss on my forehead. I wish I could say I was awake.

I was expecting him to leave but he didn't. He sat on the edge of my bed. God, is he doing to leave?

I was so warm, is company making me never want to sleep till he got up.. 

I was about to roll over when he said, 

"I wish you knew how I really felt." and I heard a door close.

 

--

Aw harry :') :')

Sorry I haven't updated for like ages. I have been so busssyyyy

I will try update more.

Hope you enjoyed this though.

Lattteeerrs. xxx

 


 

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