The Days Before She Died

My name is Lucas Hunt,
The chances are you’ve never heard of me, never met me, and don’t even know who I am. I was a boy; I am now a man, with scruffy brown hair, big blue eyes and a body that all girls adore. This all means nothing to me. I don’t need or want the girls anymore, because the girl I truly love died. Rose is dead. I try not to think of her as dead, because she’s still alive in my heart. I live with the painful thoughts of her death, and the happiness of her smile. It’s the greatest of contradictions. That’s what I remember most though, her smile. But at least I Know that she died a happy woman because of what we did in the days before she died…


6. Day Six

Yet again, I woke up lying in a fresh bed with Rose. I noticed the difference in her yet again, it seemed as though she was deteriorating at a constant rate, and it scared me to know that she had deteriorated so much in so little time.

“What’s wrong Baby Cakes?” I asked as I placed a bowl of steaming pancakes on her lap as she lied back in bed. Rose always loved pancakes, and yet this time she took a mere bite, and left the rest. Lymphoma was all I could think of, and of course, loss of appetite.

“How many days left Lucas?” She asked as her hands shook slightly, as though something had shocked her.

“Eighteen.” I whispered. Just eighteen estimated days. Eighteen days. Eighteen days isn’t very long to live, eighteen days  is two weeks and four days, and in reality, that is no time at all.  

“Okay.” Rose sighed. “So what’s on the agenda for today?” I thought about it for all of a few seconds.

“I’m taking you for a walk after chemo.” I said.

“CHEMOTHERAPY and WALKING, are you trying to kill me early?” Rose fought back. She hated walking, but I wanted Rose to be at peak fitness while she could. I thought that maybe she’d live longer that way.

“Sorry, but I promise you’ll enjoy it Rose. I’m taking you for a walk along the beach, and we can have a sunset picnic.” I explained. Rose didn't like walking, but she loved the sea, and she loved the sunset. Rose also loved eating, but she didn't like to talk about that.

Rose nodded her head in agreement about going to the beach. I made her get out of the bed after the pancakes so we could get to her chemotherapy session on time.

“The shower won’t turn on!” Rose shouted from the bathroom. Without thinking I walked in and went to fix the taps. I didn't think about Rose being naked or anything. As I fixed the taps I turned around to see a fully naked Rose, if she didn't have cancer, I probably would’ve taken advantage of her at that moment. I mean, if any guy saw Rose, I’m pretty sure they’d try and ‘get it on’ with her.

“Hey, I've fixed the taps.” I said, trying my best to look at her head. “I'm going to watch TV.” I walked out of the room, and blushed. It was a pretty awkward moment.

“Thank you!” Rose called as I heard the water begin to run again. I don't think that she found it awkward, because it wasn’t her that found a fully naked person watching them fix a tap.

As Rose came out of the shower my face was still a crimson red.

“If you’re still upset about seeing me naked, don't worry about it, I just hope I didn't give you nightmares.” She laughed as she trotted into the bedroom. I didn't really care about whether she was naked; it was more the fact that I forgot she was there.

Three minutes later she came sauntering out of the bedroom in her summer shorts and a jumper. It was a summer-winter combination at its best.

“Why are you wearing a jumper with shorts?” I asked. I never did understand female fashion, but this took it to a whole new level.

“The jumper is because I'm always cold after chemo.” She lied. I knew the real reason was to hide the needle scars on her arms from all the little scrapes during chemo and other operations. Rose had such soft skin that even anaesthetic needles managed to bruise her.

Rose leapt into the car, just missing and hitting the top of her left thigh on the doorframe.

“Ouch!!!!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

“It can’t be that bad!” I laughed at her. But then I saw a small stream of blood begin to flow down her leg, and I immediately helped her into the car, wrapping a little emergency band-aid  over the cut. “We’ll get the doctor to check it when we get to the hospital.”

“Why am I always the one that ends up hurt?” Rose moaned as I tied the bandage and jumped into the car beside her.

“You get hurt because you’re the clumsy one.” I said without thinking. It was an ignorant thing to say. I immediately broke eye contact with her and stared out of the car window as I drove.

“So I'm that clumsy that I tripped over cancer and it swallowed me whole?” Rose fought back. Her voice was harsh, proving that this time, she really was going to fight her point.,

“No, I didn't mean it like that!” I tried to put things back together again. “Please forgive me.”

“Whatever. Just get me to the hospital.” She gave up fighting. Her voice seemed strained from the fighting. Even the smallest of things were beginning to tire her, we couldn’t even

The doctors all nodded as we walked through the doors. Rose’s leg was still bleeding heavily so I had to carry her again. As I sat her on the bed that she said was hers and stared at the wound on her leg. It was deeper than I would’ve guessed at first sight. You could see the pink muscles moving under the cut, and that made my stomach turn.

“That's all we need.” I sighed. The cut really was deep, and somehow, the cut scared me more than the cancer did.

“What do you mean? Rose asked there was no amount of worry in her voice whatsoever; she didn't even seem phased by the thought of the cut.

“We’re getting married in two days and you have a huge cut on your upper thigh.” I explained, she nodded in agreement, and then giggled slightly. Her laugh really was the best, I know I have said that many times before, but it is true. Her laugh is something that I miss about her most.

“I guess, but the dress is going to be long, no one will see it.” Rose said, I think she was trying to make me feel better, but her comment really didn't help. I was genuinely worried about her, she needed all of her blood to at least try and fight the cancer, and yet some of that precious blood was running down her leg. The doctor came, and by lunch the chemo session was over again and Rose had the gash on her leg stitched up.

 I immediately took the chance to take her to the beach.

At the beach I gave Rose the Cathy Kidstone picnic bag and we hurried down to the beach. It had taken us hours to get there and Rose slept in the car the whole time. The sunset had already begun, and Rose was happy not to have to walk. We laid out the picnic blanket and Rose began to lay out the dinner. We ate Chicken Salad and Strawberry Pie. Then, as the sun began to drift below the shore line, we watched the beautiful spectacle of the sun disappearing.

“When I die, scatter my ashes here, when the sun sets.” Rose whispered. Her voice sounded like a sigh, and yet, although sad, she seemed to be happy about the topic.

“Okay, may I ask why?” I asked. I had a few reasons in my head, but they were reasons that I knew were not the correct ones, and I was interested to hear the real reason why Rose wanted that.

“The sun goes down, and is put to rest; I want to have a peaceful ending like the sun. And the end of every night leads the hope of a better tomorrow. I want you to be able to forget me when I’m over, so you can have a better future, a better tomorrow. Not fully forget me, but forget enough so that you can move on.” She sighed. That was the most beautiful thing she had ever said. It made me cry, and I hardly ever cried. She really meant everything that she said. Rose just wanted peace, nothing more, and nothing less. That was such a sweet thing to say. I kissed her as the sun disappeared from view, so that we had a better hope of the tomorrow.

We got back into the car and began to drive home.


Only eighteen days were left and only two until we were to be married. 

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