Sad Beautiful Tragic

This is my personal past relationship story. Although I am not in that relationship in this time. I would like you all to understand that what I went through was real. This is not only letting me release how I feel but its also a warning on how girls need to watch the signs before falling for a guy.

I am at a place in my life where I am content and joyous! I have everything I could ever need in my life. I am hapy I am just out of the sick and twisted ride I was stuck in .

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9. Chapter 9

After that big fiasco, I was ready to go to camp again. This time at my different church without 'A' and in a mindset of trying to go to let him go.

The day I left he called me to say goodbye and I told him that I wasn't allowed to bring my phone even though I didn't know we could. He didn't say he loved me or anything other than have fun...

 

Throughout camp, I slowly started letting go...with God putting things so clear in perspective, I was able by the third day say, I was no longer attached to nor in love with 'A' any more. On top of that I had to more tears left to cry over him anymore. I was done with the verbal abuse, I was done with the mind games, I was done with it all! I had never felt so alive and free in that moment. As the week progressed and came close to an end, 'A' would randomly send me love messages on how he loved me.. I ignored them and kept on looking up. I was not going to be distracted to get manipulated by him any longer.

 

On the day we came back, I knew 'A' was waiting for call from me. So I went out with my family and waited till night time to call. This was the conversation of the breakup:

 

A; Hello? Why haven't you called me, I know you got back from camp earlier?

Me: I got back and wantes to spend time with my family.

A: Well you still should've called..but anyway, I have something to tell you!

Me: So do I but let me go first.

A: Okay!

Me: *takes a deep breath* I don't want to be with you anymore.

A:...What!?!

Me: I don't want to be with you anymore 'A'...I don't love you and I'm done.

A: I was just about to tell you how I realized I should appreciate you more because I love you and your telling me you don't want to be with me anymore.

Me: Yes, exactly.

A: *starts crying*

(Now if you've ever heard a newborn baby cry and not stop and scream....yea this is what he sounded like. And not once ever have I heard him cry like this...)

Me: Stop crying...

A: ....wait...why aren't you crying?

Me: Because I have no more tears to cry over you.

A: Really? Oh I see, okay, gove me the phone I bought you back.

Me: No. It's uder my moms name and you can't have it.

A: I can't believe you.

Me: Ok.

A: Don't say that!! 

*hangs up phone*

*he calls back*

Me: Yes?

A: DON'T DO THAT!

Me: I don't want to talk to you.

A: Well I DO!

Me: Well I don't..

A: Tell me what I did wrong.

Me: It's not just what, its everything! This relationship from the start has never been right and I was always there chasing like a dog after you for years while you used me to your af=dvantage and played me like a fool. I'm not going to be fooled this time. Bye. 

A: You will get back with me.

Me: Excuse me?

A: You'll come back and you'll regret what your saying now.

Me: That sad thing is that you actually beleieve that because actually I never will.

 

Basically the conversation went for about an hour and it was done.

A few weeks later Taylor Swift's single "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" cam out and I couldn't be happier. Explained how I felt to a T! 

Anyway...months would pass by and I had to block 'A' from my phone.

He still didn't give up chasing me down but still caling me names telling everyone that he hated me but he loved me.

He messaged me during my freshman year in college telling me that he was going to find me and lock me in my college campus closet so that no one could fins me and that when years pass and everyone's forgotten about me he could have me all to himself.

 

Yes, that's scary and that's what I had to got through...not to mention that this year in 2013 on Valentines day he had the guts to come in the middle of the night to my FATHERS HOUSE! and place roses on our front lawn and a note saying that it was a secret admirer when it wasn't...it was him. 

Alot of the times I think back and think to myself, what if I would've seen the signs sooner or been smarter about a decision..what would I change?

The truth is I wouldn't change a thing because you know what...Everything that I have been through and still to this day going through with my stupid stalker ex has made me who I am today. An independant, hard working, passionate about what I love kind of person.

If those events hadn't happened the way they did, or I didn't bump my head. I wouldn't be who I am today, nor would I be writing this story for you all.

 

So here's a little piece of myself I'm letting show to the world. I hope you understand that yea I learned my lesson but I certainly wouldn't want to go through it again.

So to any girls and maybe to boys...here's a little piece of advice from me to you. Watch out and always be asking questions. Don't be naive but don't be over protective. Be smart about every decision you make. You need not to worry and take action if you feel something is wrong, your not wrong for feeling that way.

 

I love you all, xx and thank you for letting me freely write my story.

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