Safe And Sound (Triquel to Red)

"Elizabeth Ashton was more that just a girl to me. She was my best friend, she was the love of my life, she was my light. Since the day I met her when we were 5 years old there hasn't been a single day that I didn't love her. Without her, I wouldn't be the man I am today. She taught me so many things. She taught me to never give up on myself and to never let anyone tell me who I am, who I want to be. She taught me to believe in myself even when no one else did. Through the 15 years that I knew her, just the thought of her made me smile. Now I can't help but look back on all of the memories we made. The pillow fights, the sleep overs, the ghost stories. She made me happier than anyone else ever could. She put a smile on my face even when I was on the verge of tears and she always knew what to say. So much of the world knows Elizabeth Ashton as the girl who broke free from her past and created a future...

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6. Made Up My Mind

When we take things for granted, these things eventually get taken away. To often we don't realize what we have until its gone. Too often we are to stubborn to say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong." Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to us by letting the insignificant issues tear us apart. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and cares about you. You'll never know how much they mean to you until the day that they're no longer by your side. Nobody ever said that loosing someone was easy, especially when you were so close to them.

---

No matter just how hard I try, everything I say, everything I do, it all relates to her. I still repeat the thing she said to me before. It seems like the only thing I can hold on to now are the memories we shared. The thing is, her and I shared so many memories from age five all the way to age twenty. I still remember the first time I saw her in her light pink dress and I still remember the last time I saw her. She was afraid but to confident to show it. She was sad because she knew what the future held. She kept all of these negative feelings inside to make others see the positive side. Now people tell me that its stupid to be hung up on someone like I am, to give away everything that mattered to me all for the reason that she's not in my life anymore. They don't understand. They never shared the memories we shared. They've never loved anyone like I loved her. 

It had now been a week since I left the band. I knew the boys were looking for me but I knew that if they found me, everything would just be more complicated. My phone kept buzzing in my pocket so I took it out. 24 unread messages. A few were from my mum and dad. Some were from my sisters. Most of them were from the boys though. I debated opening the texts but finally decided to see what they had to say.
 
From: Louis
 
Liam... although this band may be no more doesn't mean our friendship has to be.
 
 
From: Niall
 
We're really worried about you Liam. Please text us back.
 
 
From: Zayn
 
Mate please talk to us. We're still your friends, regardless whether One Direction is over.
 
 
From: Harry
 
Liam, we both know that you need someone right now. Tell us where you are so we can help you. Please... just please don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything you'll regret.
 
I sighed as I looked at the messages from the lads. I was just holding them back from perusing their dreams. I was the reason One Direction was over. I was the reason for all of this madness. I knew what I had to do. I took out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write.
 
Harry, Louis, Niall, Zayn:
 
        I'm sorry. I'm sorry for screwing up your lives and ultimately taking away your dreams. I have recently realized that I am the cause of everyones unhappiness. I've been pushing all of you away when all you were trying to do was help me. I am only a roadblock on our road to success. I'm sorry for standing in your way, you four would surely be better without me. Every day I am fortunate for the day I was put into a band with all of you and I am still shocked at just how far we got.
        You lads created some of the best memories, the video diaries, the concerts, the interviews. All of those memories I will cherish. I never thought it would all end like this but then again, I never thought Beth would end up being killed. I don't want to hold you back from your success with my mourning and depression. All four of you will make an incredible band that will strive to success.
        I have made up my mind and made my decision. I know it sounds crazy but I cannot live knowing I could have done something to prevent her death. I could have fought for her. Now that she's gone I can't look myself in the mirror and tell myself that I did the right thing. I know I didn't. I can't live if she's not in my life. After all, she is my life. I know what you're thinking, this is all because of a girl. Well, Beth was more than just a girl to me, she was my best friend, she was the love of my life and my world will never be the same without her. I'm sorry but I need to be with her. I'd rather die than be without her the rest of my life. I love you lads, you are like brothers to me and I will never forget you. This is goodbye.

-Liam James Payne  
I read over it a few times in my head. As I reached the last sentence I could feel tears in my eyes. Everything I had said in the letter was true. I could not live my life if she were not by my side. She was the source of my happiness. She was the source of my smiles. She made me feel whole, she made me feel complete. I knew for a fact that not a single person on this planet could replace the way she made me feel. Even if I traveled to each corner of the earth and back I knew it was impossible.
 
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