Little Brid

He came into my life like lightning, a bright bolt uninvited; turning my world upside down with his irrational actions and dimpled grin, his unquenchable desire and eyes the colour of emeralds. And he gave me something I had never had before – a wild adventure and the illusion of freedom. But even then, I had to keep reminding myself, even once falling into the vortex of churning emotions ultimately I had surrendered myself to, that I had no choice.

I was his Little Bird; encaged in his hold.

~*~



“I know enough about you to know that you’d be going home to an empty house, but even when they’re away, they keep you caged up, don’t they Little Bird?” A deep frown creased my brow, worry and confusion and terror leaking into my nerves, an accumulation of varied emotions attacking my senses, sending my mind into a whirlwind of commotion and chaos. I parted my lips to allow the questions and accusations spill, run wild. I wanted to reveal my disgust and curiosity in countless queries as

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5. Chapter 5

I picked at my sandwich aimlessly, tearing pieces if bread and ham off as I allowed my mind to wander; not bothering to fulfill the little appetite I had as my thoughts drifted freely in my head. Harry sat beside me, his eyes glued on me, but I was barely aware of his heavy stare, too consumed by my inner turmoil. I wanted desperately to turn my brain off, make all my thoughts disappear; I wanted to rid my mind of home, Harry, escape, imprisonment, university and parents.

I felt as if my worries were eating me alive.

 “What are you thinking about?”

I kept quiet for a few moments, my gaze fixated on my sandwich before I peeked up at him. “Everything.” I answered honestly.

 “The human mind is a deathtrap. You don’t want to go over-thinking anything.”

I nodded silently, realizing how much truth there was to his words. I wanted to cast aside everything in my brain that was weighing me down with fatigue and anxiety; knowing that I’d chase away my own sanity if I continued working my mind so hard. I parted my lips to tell him that he was right, and maybe he’d see how much damage he was doing my keeping me here imprisoned with him for reasons untold; maybe he would realize that in spite of promising just minutes ago that he would never hurt me, he was in fact either way – whether his fist or palm came into contact with my body or not.

But then Harry’s phone rang, and I wouldn’t have had the confidence to spill the truth to him anyway.

He left the remains of his sandwich on the couch and slipped his phone from his pocket, scanning the caller I.D before answering when he left the room to go to the kitchen.

I could vaguely hear his voice from my position on the couch, but couldn’t make out what he was actually saying. For a few moments I wondered who he was talking to, did Harry have family and friends like most? Did he have a loving family, people who cared about him, people who loved him? I wondered if he had a reason that was logical for him snatching me, if this was considered normal to him.

A frustrated groan left my lips as I sunk back into the soft leather, cursing internally at my mind’s need to think and think, and my natural curiosity that ultimately tired my brain right out. Why can’t you flick a switch and just turn your brain off? I thought miserably.

 “My friend wants to meet you.”

I looked up from the floor I didn’t realize I was staring at to Harry as he reentered.

 “When?” I asked quietly.

 “Today.”

 “Oh.”

 “You’ll like him, he’s funny.” He insisted, though that didn’t reassure me as I figured Harry’s idea of funny differed from mine, just as his morals did.

 “When is he coming?”

 “I don’t know, in a bit.” Harry returned his phone safely to his pocket and picked up his and my decapitated sandwich, him and I both knowing that I wouldn’t eat the broken remains. He began walking to the kitchen again, but not before stopping and turning to me.

 “Oh and Birdy, don’t think he doesn’t know anything. He knows everything.”

 

~*~

 

I was bored. In fact that was the understatement of the century, as I think I was going out of my mind with boredom that was so intense I wanted to cry just so I would have something to do. I was in the living room on the couch, my presence there becoming so regular that I had allocated my own specific seat.

I had no idea what I was watching, Harry had chosen the programme and then left when it had finished; going off upstairs and leaving me alone without the energy to change the channel.

I released a groan of frustration, sliding off the couch and onto the floor, lying on the cold laminate; body sprawled out messily as I wallowed in my own self pity. I had no books to read, no decent TV, no computer, no pen and paper, no paint and canvas, no freedom to go outside and do as I pleased. At least at home, I always had something to do, something to be working on whether it was of my own accord and something that I really enjoyed, or whether it was countless papers of mathematical equations that made me want to crawl into a ball and cry. Still, my mind either way was preoccupied – maybe with the subject of pure evil, but I wasn’t sprawled across the floor in bare restlessness.

 “Birdy… What are you doing on the floor?”

I looked up from my awkward position to find Harry and an unfamiliar person standing in the doorway; I was too consumed with my inner turmoil once again to even hear the knocking at the door and both boys entering.

 “I-urm, I was bored.” I mumbled, heaving myself into a sitting position. Harry’s brows creased in meek confusion, whereas the unknown boy beside him merely smiled and made his way towards me, holding out a hand.

 “I understand. Harry’s hardly the most entertaining person ever.” His smile was comforting, tone cheery and pitch overall quite high that contrasted with his appearance. I offered him a small smile as I accepted his hand and allowed him to help me up.

He was definitely older than Harry, but only around a few years or so, early twenties. He had brown hair styled into a small quiff and bright blue eyes; granted not what my mind had conjured. “I’m Louis.” He told me as I stood.

 “Birdy.” I replied in a small voice, my small smile still present, but nothing in comparison to the large grin that lit up his warm features.

 “Harry!” He suddenly exclaimed, making me unwillingly jump a little in shock. His head snapped towards the younger curly haired boy.

 “What?”

 “I wanna talk to Birdy, y’know, without your prying eyes.” Harry frowned in response, parting his lips no doubt to disagree and argue, but Louis spoke and stopped him before he had the chance. “God Harry, give the girl a bit of breathing space.” Humour was heavily rooted in his tone and not even two minutes within meeting him I realized what Harry meant earlier when calling him funny. He had a naturally warmth aura around him, something that Harry lacked. I bit my lip, but was unable to stifle the giggle at Louis’ words and Harry’s facial expression.

 “Am I being thrown out of my own home?”

 “Technically no, just upstairs,” he grinned, “That a problem?” Louis retorted, lips still forming a cheeky smile as he raised his eyebrows both mockingly and humorously.

Harry looked back and forth between me and Louis, and then as if closing the case on the internal debate in his head, he huffed. “Fine.”

I fought the increasing urge to smile as Harry reluctantly left Louis and me alone. He practically dived onto the couch, and I found myself wanting to smile even more as his happy and cheerful self rubbed off on me rather than irritated me. He patted the space next to him, and timidly I joined him without a word.

 “Harry didn’t… do that, did he?” He pointed with his eyes to the bandaged wound on my head and then the fresh plaster on my hand, looking a little unsure and doubtful; all humour that was previously heavily coating his tone expelled, but still soft.

 “N-no,” I shook my head, “I – uh, fell into a lamp.” I realized once the words had left my lips how ridiculous that sounded, my cheeks heating, “I mean – into the bedside cabinet, that urm, had a lamp on it.”

He nodded his head, and I found myself wondering why that had been the first thing he had asked me without Harry present. I felt doubtful myself as I pondered the possibilities.

 “Why… has he, you know… ever hit a girl before?” My voice was tiny, conveying my uneasiness in both the question and answer.

 “No. No! God no. I was just checking that his story was the same as yours, Harry would never – no. He wouldn’t.” Louis seemed truly horrified by the thought of Harry hitting a girl, and I thought about whether or not Harry would have the same reaction.

I nodded my head slightly, and we fell into silence.

 “… He’s not a bad person, Birdy. He’s really not.” I stared at my lap, fidgeting with my hands, toying with the sleeves as I suddenly felt uncomfortable, sending a speech coming on. Louis I presumed was a very close friend of Harry’s; surely he would realize that I knew his opinion would be biased. I wondered whether he wanted me to respond, my lips remaining sealed.

 “Harry’s done a lot of bad things, made more mistakes than the average person, he’ll admit that himself. He’s made the wrong decisions, all the wrong choices, and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you Harry’s perfect and that this whole thing is right – I’m not even going to tell you to be even a little bit okay with this.”

I was silent, confused at where he was planning to go with this.

He sighed. “Harry was in a bad place for a really long tone. I don’t want to say too much, I’m sure he’ll tell you himself when he’s ready; but basically he got mixed up with some really bad people, and I’m not talking chavs who steal the cheep beer from Tesco, I mean really bad people.”

I felt my brow furrow, eyes widening as I felt a surge of fear course through me, I met Louis’ gaze.

 “Was he… in a gang?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Louis shook his head.

 “No, but he got involved with his fair share. It didn’t get as far as him joining any, but I imagine he could if he wanted to. He’d done bad things; sometimes his anger just gets the better of him, y’know? But he’s a good person; just not everybody sees it.”

I didn’t know what Louis was trying to do, was he trying to make me feel safer in his best friend’s presence by telling me that he’d made many mistakes, and that it was no secret he’d made a lot of bad decisions? Fear struck me, but at the same time I found myself wondering what had caused Harry to go down all the wrong paths, why he had made all the wrong choices. And then I gulped as an undeniable sense of sympathy and empathy me, I found myself feeling a tiny bit sorry for Harry, maybe he’d acted out and kidnapped me because he’d had an absence of something in his life and wanted to fill that hole, maybe he wanted someone to see some good in him.

 “Okay, maybe I haven’t said it in the best way, but what I’m trying to say is Harry’s a good person. I wouldn’t have let him to this if I thought he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I wouldn’t have let him go through with it.

 “But he really cares for you, Birdy. All he wants to do is take care of you.”

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I'm really not happy with this chapter, but pleaaaasseee let me know what you think. Btw, does everyone like Louis' character so far, and what do you think of Harry's 'past'? :)

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