Little Brid

He came into my life like lightning, a bright bolt uninvited; turning my world upside down with his irrational actions and dimpled grin, his unquenchable desire and eyes the colour of emeralds. And he gave me something I had never had before – a wild adventure and the illusion of freedom. But even then, I had to keep reminding myself, even once falling into the vortex of churning emotions ultimately I had surrendered myself to, that I had no choice.

I was his Little Bird; encaged in his hold.

~*~



“I know enough about you to know that you’d be going home to an empty house, but even when they’re away, they keep you caged up, don’t they Little Bird?” A deep frown creased my brow, worry and confusion and terror leaking into my nerves, an accumulation of varied emotions attacking my senses, sending my mind into a whirlwind of commotion and chaos. I parted my lips to allow the questions and accusations spill, run wild. I wanted to reveal my disgust and curiosity in countless queries as

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1. Chapter 1

I had never been good at solving problems. Conflicts and questions and contradicting thoughts that tumbled through my head were thought over till the clogs in my mind were rusty and stiff, and I was at a complete loss. I could read into certain things and find hidden meanings, but if you were to ask me to discover the answer to a maths sum, or analyse a set poem in literature class; I would stare aimlessly at the page with my thoughts colliding in confusion until my mind was rendered blank. I understood people, though. I knew why certain people were certain ways, why they acted the way they did, and I found the truth in their actions and words. I was curious about others, and I understood.

But then, if anyone was to ask me to decipher this situation, I could come up with maybe a few lame reasons why he did what he did, why he committed the act he committed, never could I untangle the meaning behind his irrational actions and the cold hard truth hidden in his ways, however. I didn’t understand; I was truly lost.

 

But he understood me. More than anyone else, more than anyone else ever tried to. Even if I didn’t want him to.

 

~*~

 

I made the mistake of walking alone one night. My parents never allowed me to do so, but as usual they weren’t home so I seized the opportunity; because I liked strolling by myself under the glistening moonlight, with no light but the stars and the quiet whistling wind keeping me company. I sought a sense of calm in being alone, and though the dark shadows weren’t a comfort, or the looming clouds or the brisk air, I lived for those moments when I could breathe freely.

A soft sigh passed through my lips as my scuffed converse kicked a stone at the side of the pavement, hoping for the cool air to ease the fog that had swarmed my mind, but to no success.

Tomorrow was maybe the biggest day of my life so far; the day I’d finally be escaping my parents and the suffocating household to a whole new world I wasn’t sure I was ready for. University hasn’t always been appealing to me, in fact still far from it, but I had presumptuous and assertive parents that were continuing their own dreams through their only child – and, I had a tendency to sacrifice what I wanted for the sake of others; too timid, too naive or too misguided to do otherwise. Law, maths and business, the subjects that I would be studying - wasting the next few years of my life on.

It was cliché really. I had pushy parents that were forcing me into a career I was sure I loathed entirely (though I’d never let them know that), only I didn’t refuse their wishes. I didn’t stray from the perfectly planned road, escape their clutches, deceive them for the ‘greater good’, to pursue my own dream that they had no interest in; no, I succumbed to their wishes. I was going to the University of London tomorrow; my suitcases packed; taxi booked and room in the halls reserved. And I couldn’t have been dreading it more.

I didn’t want one of those lives; a life that included everything you were ‘supposed’ to do because everyone conformed to Society’s unreachable expectations, or at least tried their best to. I wanted to live my life the way I wanted. I wanted to escape the small town I was trapped in and travel, live in a tiny apartment and work at a job that I loved, that paid just enough to get by. I wanted freedom, no rules, no limits, no regulations that prevented me from being my true-self, the girl that I had been hiding beneath a veneer my parents encouraged. I wanted to fall in love and do what I wanted; not have a step by step guide on how to live my own life.

I didn’t want to work my entire life, suffer through school and more school and education for what were supposed to be the ‘best days of my life’, only to be expected afterwards to go off and work some more in academics and for piles of paper and exams so bury me. I didn’t want to waste my life away to get the highest qualifications I could, then get a job that, sure, might’ve paid really well, but brought me no joy only stress and stomach pains. I didn’t want a typical life controlled by the ruin of society, but it was too late and I was too weak.

I felt tears prick my eyes, and I looked up from the pavement, disheartened that I wasn’t too far from my house, and to spot a figure standing by the corner of the road, a few metres from me. I wiped beneath my eyes as I passed, not bothering to peek up at whoever it was, my gaze fixated on my shoes; mind focusing entirely on suppressing my tears at least until I had made it home, where I would be welcomed to a lonely household suitable for allowing my distressed sobs to run riot.

But something stopped me in my tracks, my converse clad feet tripping over the edge of the club that I had messily stumbled over; I squeezed my eyelids shut as I let out a small squeak, heart thudding in anticipation while I braced myself for the painful landing as a result of my clumsy slip – but it never came.

Slowly my eyelids fluttered open to reveal what had managed to prevent my inevitable descent, eyes the colour of emeralds greeting mine. Time stood still, and I found myself caught, unable to tear my gaze from his. I felt as if I was falling again, only this time into the obsidian depths of the stranger’s captivating orbs.

 “You know it’s dangerous for a young girl to venture the streets alone at night. You don’t know what’s out there.”

His tone was suggestive, voice deep and husky, but soft and quiet. The night was dark and beneath the twinkling stars and distant street lights, my eyes, beyond the stranger’s own, saw only the curls untamed and messy on and around his head, and the outline of his handsome features.

 “Urm, t-thank you,” I stuttered, my lips twitching to convey my appreciation.

A smirk played on his lips. “Always happy to help a damsel in distress, especially when they’re as pretty as you are.”

His left eyelid dropped into a wink; my instinctive reaction to thank the night sky it was dark to mask the immediate blush that crept onto my cheeks. My long, wavy brown hair was pulled into a messy bun at the top of my head, and I was dressed in old jeans, a t-shirt that I often wore while painting, splatters of different colours adorning the original design, an unzipped hoody over the top along with my trusty pair of navy blue converse. I was far from pretty, even when I was dressed remotely decent with at least a little bit of make-up on.

 “Thanks?” I mumbled almost in a question. “I should go, my parents are expecting me,” I lied, cheeks tinting to a further extent as I avoided the truth as well as eye contact, my eyes flicking downwards, fingers toying with the sleeves of my hoody as I bit my lower lip.

It was as if he knew what the signs were to tell if I was telling the truth or not. He tilted his head to the side.

 “I know enough about you to know that you’d be going home to an empty house, but even when they’re away, they keep you caged up, don’t they Little Bird?” A deep frown creased my brow, worry and confusion and terror leaking into my nerves, an accumulation of varied emotions attacking my senses, sending my mind into a whirlwind of commotion and chaos. I parted my lips to allow the questions and accusations spill, run wild. I wanted to reveal my disgust and curiosity in countless queries as to how he had possibly gained this information – but he spoke before I could recover from my identity previously reduced to a befuddled mute.

 “You want to fly away, don’t you?”

He leaned towards me, my heart pounding wildly as I remained paralyzed and silent with fear. His curls tickled my cheek as his lips brushed my ear whorl.

 “I can set you free.” He whispered.

I shuddered at the proximity of our bodies, hearing the smirk in his voice as he found amusement in the effect he had on me – he knew it as much as I did. Goose-bumps spread across the skin on my arms and my breath hitched in my throat. I felt uneasy; and nervousness corrupted my emotions; riddled with anxiety and fear, I clenched my fists but only in hope to control the shaking of my body. Instinctively I took a step back once commanding my body to do so, preparing myself to run. My house was only five minutes away; if I ran I could get there –

He grasped my arm, preventing any escape I had planned. I tugged back weakly in response, a whimper falling from my lips.

 “I want you to stay calm for me, can you do that?”

No. No. No. I chanted silently. My mind began racing faster than before, heartbeat increasing if possible, pounding ferociously in my chest; throat closing and chest constricting with every ragged gasp I took. I knew what I was going to happen if I didn’t at least try and clam down; and though I’d had my fair share of panic attacks, I’d never experienced one in the streets at night with only a complete stranger accompanying me, one who would’ve been the cause.

 “W-what do you want?” I asked timidly, the waver in my voice meaning that my fear was easily detectible.

An unnerving grin appeared; visible perfectly beyond the darkness even with my poor vision. His teeth were pearly white, straight. He gave my arm a hard yank that caught me off guard and had my petite body falling into his, messily stumbling into his ready embrace. He dipped his head, height towering over mine, making sure that our faces were just inches apart; his warm breath fanning my skin as he parted his lips to reveal his perfectly audible, unforeseen response. “You.”

I couldn’t mask my horrified expression. I tugged and pulled desperately to release myself but my attempts were futile and weak; my small body and strength nothing in comparison to his.

 “No, no, no,” he mumbled calmly, a taunting tone that brimmed with humour and a teasing that sent shivers down my spine. His large hands maintained the iron grip on my upper arms.

 “Remember what I said, don’t disobey me Little Bird.” I stared in horror, astonishment and disgust clouding my features; my mind reeling dangerously with what could potentially happen, torturing me before it had even begun. Again, he seemed amused by my true terror, cruel humour in the glint that appeared within his dark eyes that devoured my soft, tear-filled blue ones that begged desperately for him to release me; but I knew really that he had no intention of doing so.

He reached into his pocket, my eyes glued to his meaning that I was unable to witness what he had retrieved. And then a cloth was abruptly placed over my mouth and nose, first with not a lot of force, but then I realised what it was and fought hopelessly against him. I pulled my head back, but my force was no match for his and he merely placed a hand at the back of my head to prevent my weak attempt. My begging and pleading was muffled beneath the chemical soaked material; but my whimpers were heard loud and clear, penetrating the cold air. Eyes wide, tears dripped profusely, the cloth absorbing what his large hand didn’t.

 “Shh,” he whispered softly, over and over and over again; as though he truly believed it may offer me comfort and reassurance in his mad actions.

 “Breathe for me, Baby. Breathe, just breathe.” I couldn’t hold on any longer. I gasped for air, only to inhale the chemicals that he had damaged the cloth with. I released a loud, incoherent cry of desperation and a fresh influx of tears drowned my cheeks as my eyelids began to flutter shut, eyes rolling to the back of my head; darkness consuming me as his emeralds disappeared as fast as I did.

 

 “I’ll take care of you, Little Bird.”

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