What we had, whatever it was is now history, it's nothing, I don't care if we were best friends, that means nothing to me now..


10. complete

"No silly, its me" , She turned around and i came face to face with Selena. "Haha, oh why are you here" she said, the grin quickly disappearing from her face. i stood there, trying to think of what to say. Her eyes scanned my body and instantly my hand flew up to cover my neck. too late. "Hey , what happedned to your neck" ? she asked, as if she already knew the answer. " I um, I uhh" i stuttered. What was i meant to say, 'Your boyfriend just sucked on my neck' . "What"?! shit did i just say that out loud ? "Yea you did, now explain" i could hear her voice cracking, i looked up and she looked like she was about to cry. "SELENA THERE YOU ARE" screamed Justin, running up the stairs behind us, obviously sensing the tension between us, he stopped. His eyes went to Selena, who let a tear slip. "What's going on here ladies" ? he asked, obviously tring to lighten the mood. "I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME" !? Justin's smile dissapeared and was replaced with a confused look. instantly he clicked and his eyes turned dark. "Ashley, come here now" He walked down the stairs and i followed him into the kitchen, where just minutes ago, Justin had .... "What the fuck" ?! he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.. "I dont know, it slipped out, i didnt mean for it to" i snapped back. "So she knows i cheated on her" ? "OBVIOUSLY JUSTIN OTHERWISE WE WOULDNTBE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION" !! i screamed. "ASHLEY I TOLD YOU TO HIDE, NOT FIND HER" "I WENT TO HIDE BUT SHE WALKED OUT OF YOUR ROOM DICK" "SO NOW ITS MY FAULT IS IT" ? "JUSTIN THATS NOT WHAT I SAID".. "yEAH WELL IF ITS ANYONES FAULT ITS YOURS OK, YOU HAD TO BE A BIG MOUTH AND POSSIBLE RUIN MY RELTIONSHIP WITH SELENA YOU FUCKEN SLUT, GOD I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A WHORE "YOU DID THAT YOURSELF, IM NOT THE ONE THAT CHEATED, LAST I CHECKED YOU WERE" "SO WHAT YOUR SAYING IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU"? "of course it did Justin, but im not the one that cheated, you are, and you cant tell me it was a mistake, im sure you knew exaclty what you were doing and what the consquences of your actions wouldve been. im not selena, Justin nor am i your girl friend. i shouldve stopped you, so i will take fault in this but you cant blame it ALL on me, face up to what you've done, Selena is up there, listenning to our conversation and your down here trying to argue that its not your fault" !! "WELL SHE WASNT MEANT TO KNOW" "you werent going to tell her ? oh well its in the open now and you dont have to live with the guilt of  her not knowing you did it because she does know, and theres nothing you can do about it" "Theres is one thing i can do" "Oh yea Justin, and what is that" ? "Get out" "WHAT" ? "You heard me bitch, get the fuck out of my house" "Justin , please Don-" "GET OUT BITCH, JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BITCH, YOU'VE MADE ME RUIN EVERYTHING" !! "Justin.." i whispered, staring at him in utter disbelief and shock. Did he just call me a good for nothing bitch ? i cant believe he called me that, we were best friends. i kept staring at him, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. i heard someone come down the stairs and stand behind me. Justin looked behind me for a second, then his gaze turned to me. "Why are you still here" ? i looked down at my hands and saw the note that read 'song for ashley' i lifted my hand and placed it on the bench. His eyes flicked from mine, to the note, then back to me. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, WHAT SO KNOW YOU GO THROUGH MY STUFF ASWELL, GET OUT ASHLEY, JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE" That made the tears fall, i couldnt stop them after that. i grabbed my bag and headed for the front door. i raced home and locked my self in my room, heading over to the bathroom, i pulled out a key from the draw and opened a cabinet. inside it was a bottle of pills, a knife, 4 packs of razors and a rope. i pulled out the knife and sat on the toilet, i lifted up my shirt and cut deep into my stomach, the pain was un-bearable, but it was so calming. i put the knife back into the cabinet and grabbed a pack of razors. i held one to my wrist. "Bitch" i sliced, trying to get as deep as possible. the blood trickled from the cut. i smiled, and returned the razor to my wrist. "Worthless" i cut again, this time more blood trickled out. "Whore" i cut again. "Slut" i cut again. i sat there and cut 3 more times, until i could no longer hold the razor and it just hung from my cuts. i lifted my shirt and ran my finger over the cut i had made. "Sapuku" i whispered. I smiled, Justin's words werent hurting me any more, all that hurt was the cuts. I was emotionless, all i felt right now was physical pain and to be perfectly honest, i felt complete...

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