Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


101. Workout

Warning: sexual content...skip those parts if not comfortable reading

Lily’s POV

I wake up at four in the morning but my body thinks that I’m still in Manchester at ten in the morning. I look over at a peacefully sleeping Harry, suppressing my giggles when I hear his quiet snores.

I just gaze adoringly at Harry, watching him sleep as I think back to last night. I never felt more loved than I did after what Harry did for me. I don’t know why the image of that guy at the party that touched me appeared in my mind. Maybe it was the fact that it was dark in the room and I may still be affected by what happened. However, Harry caught on quick and he didn’t waste time in ridding my mind of those horrible images. He rid of everything that triggered that traumatic night. He replaced the haunting thoughts with his loving touches and words.

I feel only Harry’s touch no matter what goes through my head. It’s only his words from last night that I think about to know that I’m going to be okay.

Once again, Harry does something that makes me feel even more loved than I ever have before but it also made me fall more in love with him.

I can’t go back to sleep for the life of me and I know that Harry won’t be waking up for hours. I carefully get out of bed and fix the blanket over Harry. The bear catches my eye and I smile as I grab it and hug it against my chest.

I want to take a shower but I don’t want to wake Harry. I can’t really go out by myself. I know nothing about Lima and I know I’d get lost. The other boys are most likely sleeping so I don’t even have anyone to hang out with.

An idea comes to mind and I go to my bag and change into a sports bra and yoga pants. I’m a girl. Of course I packed workout clothes. I always make sure I’m prepared for anything, especially when I’m travelling.

I change in the bathroom and tie my hair into a ponytail before I go back out to the room and leave a note for Harry telling him that I would be in the hotel gym. I leave the bear right beside Harry and I smile when Harry subconsciously grabs at it and hugs it tightly, not even slightly waking up.

I quietly leave the room, grabbing the spare key card and find my way to the gym. Seeing as it’s 4:30 in the morning, I’m the only one there. I’m not complaining. No one can hear me dying trying to catch my breath.

I plug in my earphones to my iPod and put on my workout playlist as I sit down on the mats and start stretching. After I stretch, I do cardio on the treadmill, the bike and the stairmaster. A couple of people have now joined me but I pay no mind to them and they don’t pay mind to me. I lie down on the mat and I start to do crunches and sit-ups. I close my eyes, trying to focus on working through the pain.

I start to do my post-workout stretches, making sure I don’t strain any muscles. I stand up and bend down to touch my toes to stretch my hamstrings when I feel someone behind me, grabbing my hips.

Out of reflex, I stand up and swing my arm back.

“OW! F.uck!”

I gasp when I turn around and realize that it’s Harry. I take off my earphones and walk right up to him.

“Harry, oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t know it was you. You shouldn’t have snuck up on me like that!”

He’s rubbing the side of his head, where I had swung at him. I lean against his body and rest my hands on his hips.

“I called for you but you didn’t hear me and you were bent over like that so I couldn’t help but make my presence known.”

I roll my eyes and smack him as a smirk appears on his face.

“I can say that you’ve got a great swing. Now I know not to sneak up on you.”

I playfully roll my eyes again and shake my head. I finally take a good look at him and see that he’s wearing a plain white shirt and basketball shorts. His hair is tied up in his famous bun and he also has a headband on.

I don’t even blush when he catches me checking me out. I just lean up and give him a kiss.

“Stop distracting me,” he mumbles against my lips before he pulls away. “I’m here to work out.”

He playfully pushes me away and I bite my lip when he goes to the treadmill to start his workout.

I decide to stay even though I’m done. I sit on the mat and just do planks and any other workouts while I wait for Harry. When I decide that I can’t work out anymore, I just lie down on the mat and go on my phone.

I jump slightly when Harry appears from over me, hovering his body over mine. My eyes widen when I realize that he is now shirtless, his body glistening in sweat. I look around and breathe a sigh of relief when I notice that we’re alone in the gym.

He takes my phone and places it on the mat beside my head, his eyes never leaving me. I’m about to sit up but Harry lowers himself onto me, supporting himself on his elbows.

“I need a little motivation,” he says, a cheeky grin gracing his face.

I just lie there, watching him as I rest my hands lightly against his bare chest. He pushes himself up using his hands and he starts to do pushups on top of me. He makes sure that his body doesn’t touch mine when he goes down but he leaves a kiss on my lips every time he does.

Of course I start to get hot and bothered the longer Harry continues this. His sweaty body and the look of concentration and lust on his face every time he pushes himself up is one of the hottest things I’ve seen.

“Oi! Save that for the bedroom!”

I jump and push Harry away from me when I hear Liam. I look over at the door and see Liam and Niall walking in with their personal trainer. I can feel my cheeks heat up in pure embarrassment as I sit up and grab my stuff.

I stand up and Harry does the same and I just wait there beside him, not knowing what to do or say.

Liam and Niall walk up to us and they each give me a hug.

“Hey, Lily,” Liam says. “Nice to see you. Louis told me you got here last night.”

“Yeah, thought I’d come visit this one here,” I say, nudging Harry beside me. “He missed me too much.”

I don’t bother talking about the real reason I came here. Other than Louis and Eleanor, I like to keep mine and Harry’s issues between the two of us.

“Are you gonna come see our show tonight?” Niall asks.

I nod. “Of course. I don’t leave until tomorrow night. I can’t wait.”

Their personal trainer walks up to us and looks over at the two other boys.

“Boys, start stretching,” he says. Niall and Liam give Harry and I a nod before they walk over to the side and start stretching.

“Hey, Mark,” Harry says.

“You did your workout already?”

Harry nods. “Definitely did.” I blush even harder when Harry looks over at me and winks.

Suddenly, Mark turns to me. “Hi, I’m Mark.”

I shake his hands and smile. “Nice to meet you. I’m Lily.”

He returns my smile and shakes his head. “I know all about you, Lily. This one here won’t shut up about you while he’s working out.” He nods towards Harry and I look up at him to see a sweet smile and a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Anyways, I have to go before those two start goofing off.”

We look over and see Liam and Niall try to do tricks on the treadmill. Liam, Harry and I burst out in laughter when Niall trips over his own feet and falls on his bum before he goes flying back from the treadmill. Niall soon joins in and starts laughing his head off as Mark just groans and shakes his head before he makes his way over to the two boys.

“See you guys later,” Harry shouts to them as he grabs my hand. He walks over to the bench to grab his shirt and he puts his shirt back on, much to my dismay. He takes my hand again before we head back to his room.

As soon as he opens the door, I push him and run inside.

“I call the shower first!” I laugh as I run to the bathroom and close the door. I can hear Harry laughing behind me and before I can lock the door, he opens it and steps inside.

“Harry! I called it first!” I exclaim once he starts taking off his shirt.

He steps towards me and wraps his arms around my waist.

“If I remember correctly, I remember you saying on the phone that the next time we see each other, we would take a shower together.”

I can feel my stomach flipping and my heart skipping a beat as I just look up at Harry. He has a smirk on his face and he starts to rub my exposed waist.

I go back to the time that I was teasing Harry about taking a shower and telling him that if he had woken up, he could’ve taken one with me. I was just teasing but he took it very seriously, especially when he said that we would remember that for next time.

“What do you say?” he says, leaning his face closer to mine.

I gulp as I feel my breathing quicken and my heart race. I nod and bite my lip before Harry pulls away and starts to get rid of the rest of his clothes. I nervously start taking off my sports bra. I don't know why I’m so nervous, I’ve been naked in front of him before.

I just take a deep breath and pull down my yoga pants along with my panties as Harry turns around and turns on the shower. He sticks his hand out under the water, waiting for it to warm up before he turns his head towards me and offers me his hand. He helps me inside the shower and steps in right after me. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go or which way I’m supposed to face but I just stay in my spot when I feel Harry behind me, his arms snaking their way around my body.

His chest is pressed right up against my back and I lean back into him. I feel his lips press on my shoulder and then trailing along my neck and my jaw. I close my eyes, allowing myself to focus on the blissful feeling his lips and his hands are giving me.

His hands are moving teasingly along my stomach and hips, feeling his fingers press against my skin every now and then. Harry brings the both of us forward, letting the water wet our whole body before he takes a step back. I open my eyes when I feel him walk around me, standing in front of me underneath the water.

I watch the water trail down his body, droplets falling from the ends of his wet hair onto his shoulders. He pulls me into him once again and places his lips on mine this time. The kiss is wet, slippery as his mouth moves hungrily against mine. My hands glide across his chest before they rest on the back of his next, my fingers digging into his wet hair.

His hands trail up my body until he cups both sides of my face, pulling me closer. My hands move down his chest, letting them roam around his stomach and hips. I can feel his hardness press against my lower stomach as I pull him closer and I moan into his mouth.

One of his hand darts from my face and down to my hips, tantalizingly moving down to my thighs before he cups the back of my leg and lifts it up, letting it rest against his hip. His other arm wraps around my back and his lifts me up slightly before he turns us and pushes me against the wall.

He’s about to lower me back to the ground but I quickly hold onto his shoulder and lift myself up so I can wrap both of my legs around his waist. His hands hold my hips and he pushes himself harder against me. I take advantage of the new height difference and kiss down on his lips, earning a groan from him.

The steam has now built up in the shower and it gives off a sexy glisten on Harry’s skin. Harry pulls away but his lips quickly move down to my neck, my collarbone and finally to my breasts. He licks, bites, sucks everywhere until he wraps his lips around my n.ipple and sucks harshly, his tongue swiping out and flicking the hardened and oversensitive nub.

I can’t suppress my moans. I moan out loud, hearing it reverberate around the shower and the bathroom. I can feel the pleasure building up in my stomach and in between my legs and I know I’m going to lose it soon when Harry turns to my other breast, giving it the same amount of attention.

His lips and his tongue does wonders on my breasts and all I can do is moan and grasp onto this hair to release some of the tension.

He pulls away with a loud suck and looks up at me with hunger and desire. Even though Harry was the one doing all of the work, I’m the one that’s attempting to catch my breath. I can see the change in Harry’s eyes and I know that he’s feeling exactly what I’m feeling. I need him now and I can see clearly that he needs me.

He wraps one arm around my back again, pulling his hips away from me slightly as his other hand trails along my hips, to the inside of my thighs and I gasp when I feel his fingers glide along my s.lit. Even though we’re in the shower, both of us know that Harry’s the cause of the wetness in between my legs.

His fingers slide along a s.lit back and forth before he takes two fingers and circles them on my c.lit. I moan loudly and close my eyes in pleasure, my head leaning back against the wall as my back arches.

His fingers press harder and they quicken in speed. My breaths louden and I cry out when he glides his two fingers from my c.lit to my core. He inserts two fingers inside of me easily and he catches my gasps with his mouth as he kisses me. He starts to pump his fingers in and out of me and I have a hard time kissing him back as uncontrollable gasps and moan escape from my lips.

“H-Harry…I need…oh…I need you now.”

I can feel his fingertips dragging across my walls as he continues to pump them inside of me and just when I’m about to reach my peak, his removes his fingers. I open my eyes and meet his gaze as he grabs his length and positions the tip under my entrance. He holds onto both sides of my hips, our gazes never breaking as he pulls me down, his length sliding inside me.

We both moan in pleasure until I take his entire length. We stay still, Harry allowing me to adjust but I take control and start moving up and down against him. His grip around my waist tightens and he helps me as he lifts me up and pulls me back down in a steady rhythm. He places his lips on mine as he pushes me harder against the wall and starts thrusting.

We’ve had sex against the wall before but being in the shower, with the water on our bodies and the steam surrounding us just adds to the pleasure. I kiss him harder but he kisses back with just as much hunger. I wrap my arms around his neck so I can move against him harder and faster.

Harry seems to notice my excitement because his thrusts become harder and faster, matching my movements. The sounds of clapping skin and the wetness of my dripping core as Harry slides in and out of me is all you can hear. I can feel the pleasure building up again and I know I’m close. I love it when Harry and I lose control at the same time, and remembering the other times we made love, I know what to do to in order to get that.

I clench my walls around him and I know I’m successful when Harry moans against the kiss. He moves against me even harder, even faster. I have no idea where we got the endurance to have shower sex, especially since we both just worked out but I take that and let it motivate me to continue giving my all.

I continue to clench around him. I move faster. I kiss harder.

Harry’s thrusts become sloppy, uneven, but still going hard and fast before I finally lose control and fall off the edge. I scream out Harry’s name as I come undone and my walls contract around his pulsing length.

“Harry! F.uck, you feel so good. Keep going, Harry. Come with me.”

He gives three more thrusts before I feel him twitch and pulse inside me.

“F.uck! Lily. Oh. Lily,” he grunts. He gives one last thrust, pushing his length as deep as he can go before I feel him fill me up. My walls continue to clench around him, milking every drop as he softens inside me.

Both of us are panting, gasping for air as we both come off our mind-blowing highs. I close my eyes when I feel Harry’s lips brush against mine, his breath fanning out around my face.

Harry slowly pulls out of me and carefully lowers me back to stand on the ground. He keeps his arms around me, supporting me as I try to stand on my legs that feel like jelly. His hands caress my body, his face nudging into the crook of my neck as I glide my fingertips gently along his spine.

He kisses my shoulder and I leaves kisses on his. He slowly pulls away with a satisfied grin and I’m sure there’s a similar look on my own face.

We don’t say anything as we turn back under the water and finish our shower. It lasts longer than it should since I wash Harry and Harry washes me. Harry takes his time, making sure he got every spot and focusing on certain areas that I had no complaints about.

When I finish rinsing the soap from my body, I turn off the water. Harry steps out and dries his hair a bit before he wraps the towel around his hips. He grabs another towel and holds it out for me. I step out of the shower and lift my arms as Harry wraps the towel around my body.

I watch the water droplets fall from his hair and onto his shoulder and chest and I want nothing more than to lick it up with my mouth. I look back up at him and see him looking at me with adoration.

“Let’s get dressed before we get sick,” I say once I start to get cold. I reluctantly pull away from him before I lead the way out of the bathroom and towards my bag. Both of us go to dry ourselves and change into our clothes for the day and when I’m wringing out my hair with the towel, I feel Harry’s presence behind me. I smile as his arms snake around me, pulling me against him.

“That was fun,” he mumbles against my shoulder. “We definitely need to do that again.”

I roll my eyes and smile. This boy can never get enough. Then again, I can’t either but it’s always seems to be on his cheeky mind.

I hang the towel on the back of the chair before I turn around in his arms, facing him.

“I’m still trying to pull myself together from that and you’re already thinking about next time. When is sex not on your mind?” I tease.

He grins. “Never. It’s all your fault.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Oh, really?”

His smile widens and he nods. “Yup. Totally out of my control.”

I laugh before I playfully push him away. I sit on the bed and grab Marshmallow - the clever name that Harry gave the teddy bear - and hugged him. I watch Harry as he ties his boots, his back to me. I smirk when I get an idea but I quickly wipe it off my face just as he turns around.

I gasp. “S.hit. Harry?” I put on the best look of horror on my face and I look up at him.

“What?” he asks confusedly.

“We…we didn’t use a condom.”

His eyes widen for a second and his face flushes. “But…but you’re on the pill, right?” he asks anxiously.

I try to look guilty as I shake my head. “I…I stopped when you left for tour. I-I didn’t think I’d need it.”

All the blood drains from his face, looking like he’s seen a ghost.

“What? No. You-you…we…why didn’t you tell me?!”

I pretend to look scared but I look down just to make sure he doesn’t catch on.

“I-I forgot. I’m…I’m sorry.”

He starts pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair roughly.

“F.uck. Lily, this can’t be happening. Shit, we need to get you that plan B pill thing.”

I hide my face behind Marshmallow as I feel a smile spreading.

“F.uck, f.uck, f.uck. Lily, we--”

Harry’s head snaps over to me when a giggle escapes from my lips. I pull my knees up and hide more of my face behind Marshmallow.

I take a peek at Harry and see him glaring at me but I can tell the relief he’s feeling is overtaking his anger right now as I see the corner of his mouth move up slightly.

“You little shit,” he breathes, a grin spreading across his face. I scream when Harry lurches on top of me, making me fall back on the bed. He rests his entire body on me, his hands trapping my wrists against the bed.

I can’t stop laughing and the smile on Harry’s face never leaves his face.

“You’re f.ucking crazy. Don’t pull shit like that again. I swear I was getting a heart attack.”

I laugh even harder, my stomach starting to ache. All I can see is Harry smiling down at me and the look on his face is what finally makes me stop laughing.

“Don’t worry. I know we’re not ready to have mini-Harry’s running around yet. I have enough trouble taking care of you,” I say.

Harry laughs with me this time.

“As lovely as the thought of having mini-me’s and mini-Lily’s is, I think we should just stick to doing the fun part of making babies. With birth control, of course.”

I roll my eyes with a smile. Hearing Harry when he said “mini-Harry’s and mini-Lily’s” made my heart flutter. I know that we’re not taking this seriously but the thought that Harry may want a big family makes me absolutely happy inside.

My smile widens and when Harry’s eyes move down to my lips, I know what’s coming. Just like I thought he would, he leans down and kisses me. The kiss is soft, gentle.

It’s only eight in the morning and I’ve already had an amazing day with Harry. I wish I could have this every day. I dread the day that I have to go back to Manchester but I just wipe those thoughts away, wanting to just focus on now with Harry.

I don’t want to waste another second worrying about when I have to leave. All I can focus on right now is the feeling of Harry’s lips against mine and the love radiating off of each of us. Love that is just continuing to grow stronger each and every day.



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Thanks for reading :)

PS: I will post the other smut chapters soon. I'll let you guys know when I do. I only posted them on Wattpad because you have the option of putting it on private but there were issues with it so I took it off private so I thought that I might as well post it on here too. I will post a warning at the top of those chapters in case some of you guys don't like those kinds of chapter (they are very mature but nothing super crazy lol)

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