Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.

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104. Where We Are

EXTRA LONG CHAPTER! :)

PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END

Also, listen to Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran when the song comes up in this chapter and just imagine it EXACTLY how I describe it. You will cry

**

Lily's POV

"Harry! Let me go! I'll be right back!" I laugh as I try to pull away from Harry.

Ashton and his band just left to get ready to go on stage. That was my cue to go and find my way to the front of the stage so I can watch them. However, Harry wasn't too happy that I had to leave him while he stayed here with the other lads to do their vocal exercises.

He was pretending to be deep in conversation with Louis as he kept just one hand around my wrist. I'm pulling as hard as I can and even use my other hand to try and pry his fingers open but he's so much too strong for me.

"Harry Edward Styles, let me go!" I whine. I don't even care that Louis and the other lads laugh and stare at us. I'm sure they're more than used to mine and Harry's behaviour and how we are when we're together.

I can see him holding back a smirk as he still pretends to be talking to Louis, even though Louis is still smiling and looking back and forth between the two of us. I try to pull again but his grip just tightens, but not enough to hurt.

I groan and throw my head back in playful frustration. I didn't want to miss the beginning of Ashton's set. This is the first time I'm going to see them so I want to make sure that I catch the entire show.

I look over at Harry again and I know that I need to get away soon. I'm not sure if he's actually going to make me stay here and miss Ashton's set or if he's just going to wait until the last second to let me go but I don't want to risk it.

I pull again but this time, I drop down and fall back to lie down on the floor, causing Harry to be yanked towards me.

"Let me go!" I whine again. Harry laughs and stands over me, hunched over me as he keeps his hand around my wrist. I swing my other arm over my face, covering my eyes.

"Alright," he laughs. "Stop being a baby. Get up."

He pulls me up and I open my eyes to see amusement on his face. He lets go of my wrist but he puts both his arms around my waist and pulls me to him.

"Come back as soon as it's done," he mumbles before he sticks out his bottom lip in a pout.

I smile and roll my eyes. "I will. I'll run back if I have to."

A smile spreads across his face before he leans down and gives me a quick kiss. I return his smile and even give him another quick kiss before we pull away.

"I'll see you in a bit," I say.

"See you."

I turn around and head to the door.

"Lily, wait up!"

I turn my head and see Louise walking over to me, Carla walking behind her.

"We'll go with you."

I wait for them and, together, we make our way out to the stadium floor.

"So, Carla, how are you liking your internship so far?" I ask, attempting to start a conversation. I also feel like I need to get to know her so I stop feeling uneasy around her.

She looks up at me and gives me a shy smile. "I love it. Louise is the best mentor I could as for."

Louise's smile widens. "Thanks, love. You're an amazing student. I had one before and she was the most annoying person I've ever met. She was a know-it-all and kept saying that she knew everything. Even though I know you're smart, I like that you actually want to learn. You're already my favourite student."

I smile as I notice Carla finally starting to feel more comfortable. I could tell that she was nervous when she was meeting everyone. She met the lads from One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, as well as One Direction's band. That's a lot of people to meet.

I know I was hesitant about her when I first met her but if I wanted to feel comfortable around her, I had to get to know her.

I can hear the screams getting louder as we reach the entranceway to the stadium floor. We walk through a wide hallway until we see the stadium and the huge crowd. We didn't even take two steps on the floor when the screams got louder. Everyone around us spotted us and, once others realized why people were screaming, they found out themselves.

Everyone was pointing and screaming at us. People started to wave and yell our names. I wave back with a smile as we walk through the area between the barricade and the stage. We stand right in front of the middle beside the catwalk and just wave to people all around us.

I decide to take a picture of myself with the crowd behind me, wanting to keep the memory. Louise wanted to take a picture with me and Carla, and right after, the music stopped and the lights turned off. The screams got deafeningly loud and my excitement reached its peak as the three of us face towards the stage.

The screen changes to their band name logo and the scream get even louder. I even scream along with them. A few seconds later, Ashton appears from backstage and the entire stadium shakes from the screams. My smile widens when I see Ashton looking around the stadium, twirling his drumsticks in his hands and getting the crowd even more excited.

He spots me and points one of his drumsticks at me and gives me a wink before he starts playing. The beat from the drums booms around the stadium and I start clapping along with it. And finally, my eardrums feel like they're going to erupt when Calum walks out, followed by Michael and then Luke.

They walk over to their spots, letting the music build up, matching the excitement growing from the crowd. I've only ever been to Ed's concerts but this is completely different from them. Of course the stadium is a bit bigger than the arenas that Ed's played at but it's just the fact that this is the first concert I've been to that hasn't been one of my best friend's.

Ashton and the rest of the band are friends of mine but I can't seem to explain the adrenaline pumping through my body as I watch them. Add in the fact that they're a punk-pop band and not the acoustic, folky style that Ed's concerts have, I know that concerts are now one of my favourite things.

They start playing a song that I'm not familiar with but that doesn't stop me from dancing and screaming along with the crowd. Calum, Michael and Luke occasionally walk over to our spot, making faces at us. Since Ashton can't really move from his spot, all he can do is wave to us and make silly faces and wink.

They play a couple of songs that I unfortunately don't know until they finally start playing one of my favourite songs of theirs.

"You're like perfection, some kind of holiday

You've got me thinking, that we can run away

You want I'll take you there

You tell me when and where."

I sing along with them - well, actually, I scream along with them - as I continue to dance on my spot.

"Don't stop, doing what you're doing

Every time you move to the beat it gets harder for me

And you know it know it know it

Don't stop, you know that I like it

Every time you walk in the room you got all eyes on you

And you know it know it know it."

I scream even louder for the chorus and I see Ashton look over at me and laugh, shaking his head before he focuses back on his drums.

I continue to sing along before the songs ends. As Luke talks to the crowd, Ashton looks over at me and laughs again. I know he's still laughing at how I must've looked while I was singing along to the song but I just stick out my tongue at him.

They do their cover of 'Teenage Dream', which I sing along to, as well. I sing along to 'Amnesia', a bit more calmly this time. I just dance around again, sometimes with Louise, for the next songs until they start playing 'She Looks So Perfect'.

I sing along since I know this song, too. After Ashton first made me listen to it at the Brit Awards, I listened to it since I actually liked it. Since 'Don't Stop' and 'Amnesia' were the only other singles that they had out at that time, they were the only songs that I had time to listen to. But now, after seeing them live, I knew I had to listen to the rest of their album.

The songs ends but they keep playing the music as they thank the crowd. The crowd screams once again and the boys wave and give kisses. They walk away, disappearing from view and that was our cue to head back backstage.

"Wow, that was so cool," I exclaimed. I can hear the ringing in my ears as we walk away from the loud screams. I can also feel the slight scratchiness in my throat from my screaming and singing. I wasn't complaining though. I love the feeling. And my excitement just continue to grow as I realize that I still have another show to see.

My boyfriend's.

We arrive back to the boys' dressing room and we stay quiet as we hear them doing their vocal exercises. We walk in and I see Ashton and the other lads sitting down at the couches. Louise and Carla walk over to their station and I didn't want to interrupt Harry so I sat down beside Ashton.

"You guys were amazing!" I whisper-shout. They all smile at me.

"Thanks. It seems like you really enjoyed yourself," Ashton chuckles.

I roll my eyes and nudge him with my elbow. "Shut up. What? Did you prefer me to just stand there and just watch?" I smirk at him, challenging him.

He laughs with a shake of his head. "Alright, alright. I'm joking. Glad you had fun."

I smile this time. "I did. You guys really know how to keep the crowd excited."

"Thanks," all four of them thank me.

We have light conversation, not wanting to interrupt Harry and the others but a few minutes later, I jump slightly when someone wraps their arms around me from behind the couch. I look up and see Harry smiling down at me.

"How was it? Did you have fun?"

I nod and rest my head on the back of the couch. I smile up at him as his face hovers upside down over me. "I did. It was a great show. I don't know how you're going to top that."

Everyone around us laughs and Harry's smile widens before he leans down and gives me a sweet kiss.

"Well, I definitely have to step up my game tonight. Can't be having someone else impress my own girlfriend more than I can."

This time, I laugh and pucker my lips, asking for a kiss since I can't reach him. He's more than happy to oblige as he places his lips on mine and then peppers the rest of my face with kisses.

I squeal and try to dodge them since they start to tickle and I push him away as I laugh. He walks around the couch and sits down beside me, putting his arm around my shoulder. He leans in, his lips just right by my ear.

"I missed you," he whispers, only loud enough for me to hear even though everyone else is having their own conversations.

I smile and bite my lip. "I wish I could say the same but I was having too much fun to remember you."

Like I anticipated, Harry pinches my side causing me to flinch and squeal.

"I'm kidding. I missed you, too." I wrap both of my arms around him and pull him closer. "I wish you were there with me."

His playful pout soon turns into a dimpled smile. "Me, too. But I had to warm up these bad boys." He taps his throat, referring to his vocal cords. I just roll my eyes and smile.

"Well, I wouldn't want you to damage your precious vocal cords. I don't know what I'd do if you lost your voice and I couldn't even talk to you on the phone when I go back home."

Even with the mention of me leaving, that didn't dampen the mood as Harry's smile widens.

"We'd just Skype and I would just type out what I'd want to say or even learn sign language if I had to."

"But that still wouldn't be the same as being able to hear your voice."

His eyes soften at my words and I can see his eyes flick down to my lips. He starts to lean in but we're interrupted when someone claps loudly.

"Alright, boys! Time to go. You're on in 20."

We look up to see their tour manager by the door and Harry and the other boys stand up. Harry takes my hand as we walk up to him and we all follow him out the door and down the hallway. Louise, Lux and Carla are walking behind me and once we reach the entranceway that we walked through that leads to the stadium floor, Harry stops and stands in front of me.

"I'll see you out there, baby." He smirks as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close.

"Good luck, Harry. You guys are going to be amazing." I rest my hands on his chest before I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss him. He sways us slightly and my hands move up to rake through his hair, pulling him closer. He deepens the kiss, tightening his arms around me as he lifts me up slightly.

I pull away but go in for one more, tender kiss before I stand back on my feet. I look up at him, smiles present on both of our faces.

"Take some pictures for me?" he asks.

I nod. "Of course. I'll see you later."

He leans in for yet another kiss before he pulls away. Before he lets go of my hand, he lifts it up and kisses it. He shoots a wink at me before he turns around and follows the others backstage. Louise, Lux, Carla and I head through the entranceway and just before we turn the corner, I see Ashton and the other lads approaching us. I smile as I wait for Ashton and we all head out to the stadium floor. Just like I expected, we're met with deafening screams when the crowd spots us. It's louder than when it was just us girls so I know that they're mostly for Ashton and the others.

We stand at the same spot we stood at when we were watching the boys from 5SOS and we wait patiently for Harry and the others to come on stage. We dance along to the music playing through the speakers, we take some pictures with the fans and we kick around a small football that we found on the catwalk that someone had thrown while 5SOS were playing.

I just laugh as I watch Ashton and Calum pretend to be bad at football as Lux kicks the ball with her tiny feet past them. She kicks the ball and Luke purposely lets it pass through him and into the makeshift net we made. We all cheer and Michael lifts her up and lets her sit on his shoulders and she just laughs her head off.

I can see the crowd absolutely dying as they take pictures and videos of Michael and Lux. Even I take a couple of pictures.

Suddenly, the music stops and the lights go off, instantly making the crowd break out in ear-piercing screams. We walk back to our spot right in front of the stage and my smile widens as I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins once again. I stand in between Ashton and Michael, Lux still on his shoulders. We see the boys' band appear on stage, taking their spots. I clap along as the opening video starts playing on the humungous screen. Every time one of the boys' faces appears, the screams get louder.

I scream for each one, as well, but I scream a bit louder for my boyfriend. I laugh when Ashton pretends to fangirl for Harry, screaming with a high-pitched voice and waving his hands up and down. I playfully shove him but I still laugh.

I watch the video in awe. I love it. Even though I wish it was longer, I scream along with the crowd when it ends and the boys appear from backstage. I didn't think it was possible for the crowd to get even louder but I was proven wrong.

"Straight off the plane to a new hotel," Harry sings.

I can feel the screams through my body as the boys walk down the ramp, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd.

The band kicks in, the music starting and I dance in my spot and sing along.

"Just touched down, you could never tell

A big house party with a crowded kitchen

People talk shh but we don't listen."

I watch in amusement as Harry has his fun on stage. He does his little dances, hyping up the crowd as he moves around the stage. Finally, he makes his way towards us and my smile widens when spots me and stands right in front of me.

"Midnight memories,

Oh oh oh oh oh, baby you and me." He winks at me and sings directly to me.

"Stumbling in the streets,

Singing, singing, singing, singing."

He blows me a kiss before he makes his way to the other side of the stage. I continue to sing along, yelling the lyrics and dancing in my spot.

Throughout the rest of the show, there's never a time that I wasn't having fun. For most of the songs, there was at least one part where Harry would stand in front of us and just be silly.

For Liam's speech, Harry comes back and actually decides to have a conversation with us.

"You guys having a good time?" he shouts.

We all give him a thumbs up and he gives us a toothy grin. I've been taking pictures since the beginning and I take another one now.

They sing 'Live While We're Young' and during the chorus, I see Harry grab a water bottle and take a sip. He makes his way to us once again and I react too late when Harry sprays the water at me. I yelp and flinch away and all I can hear is Harry's laughter and the crowd behind us going crazy, surely witnessing what just happened.

I wipe away the water from my face and look up to see Harry laughing his head off, his eyes closed tight and his dimple in plain view even from this distance.

He walks away before I can give him a playful glare. They play a few more songs, Niall and Harry each talk to the crowd in between the songs before they sit down along the small ramps on the catwalk. This is the part of the concert where they sing their slower songs. I decide to take a video of the crowd during 'Little Things', mesmerized by its absolute beauty. I've never experienced anything like this. It was breathtaking.

I put my phone away so I can focus on the boys again. We had moved down along the catwalk so we could stand right in front of them. I stand right in front of Harry and although I'm glad that Harry listened to me and sang to the crowd, I can't help but feel myself blush when Harry would sing a few lyrics from his solos to me.

"And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth,

'Cause it's you, oh it's you,

It's you they add up to," Harry sings to the crowd.

This time, he locks his gaze with mine. "And I'm in love with you and all these little things."

I can't stop my eyes from tearing up a little but my smile widens. Harry sings the chorus again with the others, his eyes darting back and forth between me and the crowd. When the song ends, he places his hand over his heart and then holds it out in front of him, towards me.

My smile widens even more and I blow him a kiss.

They sing 'Moments', one of my favourite songs of theirs, especially since Ed wrote it for them.

They start another song and I can feel my heart skip a beat when I hear the familiar opening strum of the guitar.

It's the song Harry wrote about me.

He locks his gaze on me again as he brings the microphone up to his mouth.

"You look so wonderful in your dress

I love your hair like that

The way it falls on the side of your neck

Down your shoulders and back."

As he sings the lyrics, my memories also take me back to the time that Harry explained to me the meaning behind them.

Liam sings the next part of the verse but Harry keeps his eyes on me, as I do the same with him.

Together, him and Liam sing the pre-chorus. "Should this be the last thing I see

I want you to know it's enough for me.”

And the one line that I anticipate, the one that means so much to the two of us, I never take my eyes off of him.

“'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need."

"I'm so in love, so in love

So in love, so in love," all the boys sing together in beautiful harmony.

"You look so beautiful in this light

Your silhouette over me

The way it brings out the gold in your eyes

Is a sunset by the sea," Louis sings.

Harry takes this opportunity to wave and blow kisses to the crowd, knowing that I would be upset if he hadn't. I know that this song is special to us but I would feel bad if he didn't interact with the crowd.

Now, it's Niall's turn. "And all of the voices surrounding us here

They just fade out when you take a breath

Just say the word and I will disappear

Into the wilderness."

Harry and Liam sing the pre-chorus again.

"Should this be the last thing I see

I want you to know it's enough for me

'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need."

Now, Niall and Louis join in to sing the chorus.

"I'm so in love, so in love

So in love, love, love, love,

So in love.

"Lumière, darling

Lumière over me," Harry sings by himself, looking back at me.

"Lumière, darling

Lumière over me," Liam joins Harry this time, singing in a higher key.

"Lumière, darling

Lumière over me," all of the boys sing together, each singing in their own perfect key, making it sound absolutely beautiful.

"Should this be the last thing I see

I want you to know it's enough for me

'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need," Harry never takes his eyes off of me as I bring my hand up to his ring necklace. I can see the adoration and love in his eyes as he emphasizes the last line, the line that is inked on his skin.

"I'm so in love, so in love

So in love, love, love, love,

So in love," they all sing together.

Harry sings to the crowd this time and I don't mind at all. Maybe he won't see the tears building up in my eyes again.

"You look so wonderful in your dress

I love your hair like that

And in a moment I knew you," Harry sings the end of the song, still singing to the crowd but for the last line, he looks at me. The crowd cheers loudly once again and I clap lightly as I smile up at Harry.

"I love you," I mouth to him.

"I love you more," he mouths with a smile spreading from ear to ear on his face. I can hear the crowd behind me going crazy again. The boys stand up and make their way back to the main stage. We follow them, going back to our previous spot.

They start singing 'Strong' and as Harry interacts with the crowd, I can't help but remember the time that Harry had tweeted lyrics from this song back when we had first tried to be friends again. It was when I was in Amsterdam and I was distancing myself from him after he had started messing with my head.

Even though that time brings unhappy feelings, I push them away, not wanting to ruin the night. I sing along, goofing around with Ashton and Luke.

Soon after they finish 'Strong', I watch in curiousity as another song starts and Harry takes another water bottle and makes his way to the middle of the catwalk, on top of one of the ramps. He dances at his spot and takes another swig of water from the bottle.

"1...2...1, 2, 3, WOO!"

My eyes widen in surprise when Harry spits the water in the air. The crowd goes absolutely crazy and I can't help but find it hot. Harry's so fun to watch on stage. He knows how to keep the crowd hyped and on their feet. I can tell he's completely comfortable up there and I can tell he loves being up on that stage. It's hard not to watch.

"Best I ever had,

Hips don't lie,

You make me wanna sss," Niall sings and once again, Harry tries to make all of the girls faint when he grabs his crotch. I just smile and roll my eyes at him. Off stage and on stage, Harry is still his cheeky self.

Louis talks to the crowd, introducing the band and then they sing a few more songs before they start 'What Makes You Beautiful'. I clap along when they start singing the 'na, na, na' part. During Harry's solo, Liam points between me and Harry and makes a heart with his hands and then he takes Harry's face in between his hands from behind and tries to make him look towards me.

I laugh as Harry pushes him away as he finishes his solo. I sing along for the rest of the song and then I see them walking back to the front of the stage.

"That's what makes you beautiful," Harry sings before they disappear through the floor. The crowd screams once again, the lights turning off. The crowd gets louder and louder, their way of calling the boys back for the encore.

I can tell the crowd is getting anxious. I can see the boys' band still in their spots, and I wait along with them, waiting for the boys to come back. A few minutes later, the boys appear from backstage again, earning more screams from the crowd.

The band starts playing as the boys make their way down the ramp and in front of their microphones in front of the stage.

They start singing 'You & I" and I sing along with the entire stadium. I take a few more pictures, trying to get all of the boys in it. I put my arm around Ashton's waist and hold the camera out in front of us with the stage and Harry and the others behind us and I take a video of the two of us singing along with the boys.

The rest of the concert goes by way too fast because, before I know it, they're singing their final song 'Best Song Ever".

I take a video of Harry when he spits water again. I could watch him do that all day. I shout out the lyrics and Harry makes his way over to us one more time, singing to all of us. The song is reaching its end and they start making they're way up the ramp, waving and blowing many kisses to the crowd as Liam says the final goodbye to the crowd.

"Lima! You have been absolutely wonderful! We will see you again very soon! Have a good night. We love you!"

They run up the stage and I start clapping as I look up at the screen to see them running towards the camera. They disappear and the music ends and the lights turn off. I clap louder and shout as the stage goes completely dark. We quickly make our way backstage, the crowd waving to us as we walk past them. We walk through the entranceway and into the hallway.

I don't see Harry or any of the boys anywhere so I just follow the others back to the dressing room. We sit around the couches while we wait for them to come back and I realize that they must be doing the meet-and-greet.

As I continue to sit in the comfortable couch, I can feel the jet lag creeping up to me. Even with the nap, I know it wasn't enough to make me stay up that late tonight. I rest my head on Ashton's shoulder when my eyes start to droop. I guess I used what was left of my energy at the concert.

I try to stay awake so I can wait for Harry to get back but my body refuses as I fall asleep.

 

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I loved writing this chapter! It was so much fun! It was just like how it was for my show! :'( I wanna go back now </3

Anyways, I was just searching around Wattpad and I actually found my stories being posted by other people. No one has asked me to post my stories so I know that they posted it without my permission. I found two different people that posted my other story on here. One of them "credited" me even though she never asked me. She said that my story was from movellas but I guess she didn't know that I'm on Wattpad as well and posted it on here thinking that I wouldn't catch her. The other person didn't even credit me.

This is the first time I've caught people stealing my story and the fact that this happened two years ago, I can't help but think that others have stolen my story since then. Of course it's upsetting. I would've been fine if they had asked me, i would've let them (as long as they credited me AND with my permission). Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know in case anyone finds someone else posting my story. NO ONE has asked me to post my story so there shouldn't be anyone with it on their profile.

If anyone finds any, PLEASE let me know ASAP. I don't want to have to report them so I just messaged them and asked them to talk about it. So please let me know! Thank you!

And omg the boys on the James Corden show was the best thing ever! Definitely what we needed after everything that's happened this year. I really hope they do more interviews like that. They should go back on James Corden every year and do that. I love James Corden so much right now.

Anyways, 35 votes and 15 comments! Thanks for reading! Love you guys <3

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