Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


23. When You Walk By

I do not own the rights to the song by Tori Kelly. The song that "Lily wrote" is called 'Eyelashes' and I am using the lyrics in my story because I cannot make up lyrics for the life of me :P

Video is at the bottom

Enjoy this chapter! :)


Lily’s POV

“Stop staring at me.”

Harry smiles at me and my face mimics his. I’m sitting cross-legged at the foot of my bed facing Harry, who is laying down against the headboard, his legs stretched out beside me.

“Make me,” Harry retorts.

I giggle and shake my head before I stick my tongue out at him and turn around, my back now facing him. I look back down at my journal in my lap and start to focus on the words scrawled along the pages.

I can tell that my intention to tease him worked as I hear and feel him moving across the bed. A couple of seconds later, I feel his presence behind me as he kisses my shoulder. He sits behind me and he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder.

I close my journal before I turn my head to look at Harry and see that he’s looking down at my journal.

“What do you write in your journal?”

I smile and look back down at the slightly tattered book, running a hand over it.

I shrug. “Everything. But it’s mostly songs that I wrote.”

“Oh, really? Can I hear them?”

Playing and singing in front of people is one thing but playing my own songs for people is another. I don’t know why I feel different about my own songs but I think it’s the fact that it’s my own words, my own feelings that I’ve decided to put onto paper and will eventually share with others. I can hardly take criticism about my singing and playing the guitar but I don’t know how I would be able to handle criticism about my lyrics.

“They still need a lot of work…but I’ll definitely play one of them for you one day.”

He seems to notice my hesitance as he kisses me on my shoulder once again.

“Are one of those songs about me?”

I look over at him with a huge smile on my face to see that he has a goofy grin on his.

“Maybe,” I tease.

I smile to myself because there are in fact a few songs that I wrote about him. Most of them aren’t finished yet, partly because of the fact that I can’t seem to find perfect enough words to write a song about everything about him.

“I think there is.”

I turn my body around so that I’m facing him completely.

“Oh, do you?” I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a quick kiss.

“Mhm.” He nods with a smirk on his face.

I trace my finger along his dimple. “And have you written a song about me?”

I’m not really sure if he would and I wouldn’t be upset if he hasn’t. I was just curious.

“Yeah, you want to hear it?”

My eyes widen in shock and my heart leaps as excitement grows inside of me.

I nod feverishly. “Yes!”

I unwrap my arms from him as he leans back. He clears his throat.

“Oh, Lily.
Your name is like the flower,
But you’re much prettier
And smell a lot nicer.”

I roll my eyes but continue to listen to his cheesy song with a stupid smile on my face.

“Oh, Lily.
You’re so hot,
But your boyfriend
Is so much more hotter.”

I laugh and swat him on his arm. He smiles at me and leans close to me again.

“So, what do you think? It’s still a work in progress but I think it’s going to be our next big hit.”

“Oh yeah? It’ll definitely be a big hit with your fans named Lily.”

“Yeah. But it will always be about one Lily.” Our eyes are glued to each other before I catch his quickly move down to my lips and back up.

“I can play one of the songs I wrote about you.”

His face lights up before he takes his hand and places it on my cheek.

“You mean you’ve written more than one song about me?”

I blush as I nod.

“I’d love to hear it.”

I don’t know what I’m getting myself into but I let my anxiety sit in the back of my mind as I get up and grab Ed’s guitar from across the room. I sit back down at the foot of the bed, the guitar in my lap. Harry is now resting on his elbow as he lays down on his side in front of me.

“I wrote this a few days after we first met…and yeah…”

I look back down at the guitar and start plucking the starting notes. I remember playing this song over and over again until I got it right once I wrote this song.

To be honest, it’s one of my favourite songs that I’ve written. I take one more look at Harry, who’s smiling back at me as I start the song.

“We’ve met a few times, 3 or 4 times, they all went by much too fast
Eyes were so locked, led to small talk, wanting each moment to last
I can do this, tried to focus, but it’s so hard for me to see past
Your beauty, yeah mostly, all I could get out was a laugh

“There are no words to say whenever you are near
I try to be myself but she just disappears
I’m nothing like those other girls, I am so weird
Cause I don’t bite my lip, or bat my eyes
When you walk by, when you walk by

“You’re a star and everyone knows, maybe that’s why I can never get close
I can barely remember most of what was said during our last
Conversation, overthinkin’, still so hard for me to see past
Your beauty, call me crazy but maybe you’d like get to know me, baby

“There are no words to say whenever you are near
I try to be myself but she just disappears
But boy I promise you will see that I’m sincere
Hope I’ll get another try
When you walk by, when you walk by

“I’m not very flirtatious
I’m not gonna blow kisses
I don’t bat my eyelashes
I’m not very flirtatious
I’m not gonna blow kisses
I don’t bat my eyelashes

“I have nothing to lose, so how could it go wrong
But it’s so much easier to sing it in a song

“There are no words to say whenever you are near
I try to be myself but she just disappears
I’m nothing like those other girls, I am so weird
Cause I don’t bite my lip, or bat my eyes
When you walk by, when you walk by

“I’m not very flirtatious
I’m not gonna blow kisses
I don’t bat my eyelashes
I’m not very flirtatious
I’m not gonna blow kisses
I don’t bat my eyelashes
Hope I get another try when you walk by, you walk by.”

Silence fills the room as me and Harry continue to look at each other. Harry’s eyes are bright and his smile never leaves his face. I get up to put the guitar back on the stand and carefully sit back down on the bed. Harry’s eyes follow me the whole time.

“So…what’d you think?” I ask nervously.

He moves closer to me, still leaning on his elbow.

“I thought it was…amazing. It’s really sweet that you wrote a song about me. More than one song, actually.”

“Thank you.” I blush once again.

“I can’t wait to hear the rest of them.”

“And I can’t wait to hear your next song about me,” I say sarcastically.

Harry laughs. “My songs are way better than yours.”

I laugh but then I’m cut off when Harry takes me by the neck and pulls me in for a kiss. I rest a hand on his chest for support as I move my lips against his. Without stopping the kiss, Harry sits up before he wraps his other arm around my waist and guides me to lie down on the bed. He hovers over me and my free hand moves up to cup the side of his face.

“I’d like to take you on a date tonight,” he says against my lips. He lets his lips linger against mine for a couple more seconds before he lifts his head up and looks at me expectantly.

My smile grows as I continue to look up at him. “I would like that, too.”

“Well, then stop wasting time and get off of the bed,” he says as he hops off of the bed. I laugh as I sit up and swing my legs over the edge.

He holds his hands out for me and I take it before he pulls me up to my feet. I keep his hands clasped with mine as I go on my tiptoes and give him a quick peck.


“Thank you so much for doing this, Niall.”

He smiles at me.

“No problem.”

Harry wanted to take me out to dinner tonight but since we still had to hide our relationship until Ed comes back, we asked Niall for a favour. Niall would go to the restaurant with us along with his friend, Darragh, so that the media wouldn’t think anything of us together. Of course, once we get to the restaurant, me and Harry would sit somewhere more privately while Niall and his friend have a casual dinner.

“You’re paying for my dinner though,” he teases.

I smile and roll my eyes. “I’ll include the dessert, as well.”

“You better.”

I laugh as Harry comes back from the bathroom.

“You guys ready?” he asks, walking over to the front door.

Me and Niall stand up from the couch and walk over to Harry. Harry takes my hand as we leave the flat.

“I’ll text Darragh and tell him that we’re on our way,” Niall says as he walks behind us.

We pick up Niall’s friend along the way to the restaurant. Once we get to the restaurant, we pull over in front of it as a valet opens the door for me. I step out and the flashes from the camera start going crazy. The others step out of the car and join me. We start walking to the door and the yelling starts.

“Harry! Niall! Look here!”

“Harry! Harry!”

And then the inevitable questions are being spewed out of multiple people’s mouths.

“Harry! Lily! Are you two together?”

“Are you guys out on a date, Harry?”

“Lily! Is Harry your boyfriend?”

I ignore them as we finally reach the doors. It’s a fancy restaurant so a doorman opens the doors for us. Once it closes, the noise from outside is decreased immensely and I breath a sigh of relief.

Harry walks up to the hostess. “Reservation for Styles?”

She looks into the computer and nods a couple of seconds later. “Two tables for four people?” Harry nods. “Right this way.” She holds menus in her arm as she leads the way to the back of the restaurant. The area that she’s led us to is much more secluded than the front of the restaurant, definitely allowing more privacy for people who need it.

She stops at one table and places two menus on it. Niall and his friend sit down and we tell them that we’d see them later. The hostess walks across the room to a booth in the corner. There’s a half wall covering it so no one would be able to see us.

It’s perfect.

We sit down across from each other and the lady places a menu in front of us. Our waitress walks up to us with a friendly smile.

“Hello. My name is Abby and I’ll be your waitress for the evening. Can I start you off with some drinks?”

“I’ll have an iced tea, please,” I reply with a smile.

“Make that two,” Harry says.

Our waitress nods before she turns around and heads back to the kitchen. I look down at the menu and my eyes widen at the pricey selections.

“Don’t worry about the price, Lily.” I look up at Harry and realize that he noticed my wariness.

I sigh. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m okay with McDonald’s. And apparently, you’re paying for Niall and his friend as well.”

Harry laughs. “I know. But, really, it’s okay.”

I smile at him before we both look back at the menu. Our waitress comes back with our drinks and places them in front of us.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Yes. I will have the Fettuccini Prosciutto,” Harry says before he closes his menu.

“I will have the Fillet Mignon,” I tell our waitress. I close the menu and hand it to her before she walks away.

Harry rests his arms on the table and leans forward.

“You look great tonight.”

I blush as I rest my arms on the table and lean towards him.

“You’re looking sharp yourself.” I take my hand and run it along the collar of his dress shirt. I place my hand back on the table but Harry places his on top of it.

“You look pretty tonight.”

I roll my eyes but I look down to hide the blush appearing on my cheeks.

“Thank you, Harry.” I look back up at him.

“So, I wanted to ask you something,” he says, suddenly looking nervous.

“What is it?”

He starts playing with my fingers, his gaze focus on my hand. “Um…well me and the guys are…are going to Paris in two weeks for some interviews…and I know how much you want to go there…so I was wondering if…if you wanted to…go with us…with me.”

I found it incredibly adorable how flustered he was but then I was filled with excitement at his offer.

I take my other hand and place it on top of his and give it a light squeeze. He looks up at me, apprehension evident on his face.

“I would love to. But…” His face falls slightly but I squeeze his hand in reassurance. “But, I mean, I’m worried enough about you paying for this dinner, I can’t possibly have you pay for my flight and the hotel and those other things.”

He relaxes, probably feeling relieved that my reason had nothing to do with me not wanting to go with him.

“Lily. It’s nothing, really. It’ll be fun. I know that it’s always been your dream to go to Paris so I instantly knew that I had to bring you along with us. Please don’t worry about that, okay? I just want you there with me.”

I bite my lip to hold back the huge smile threatening to spread across my face. My stomach flips at the thought that Harry remembers when I told him that I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. It was honestly so sweet and considerate.

“Please?” He sticks his bottom lip out and puts on the cutest puppy dog eyes.

I giggle. “Fine, I’ll go.”

A smile erupts on his face and then he suddenly leans over to place a kiss on my lips. I’m taken by surprise but then I immediately start kissing him back. I rest my hand on the side of his face until Harry pulls away. He leans back but keeps his eyes on mine.

Our waitress comes over and places our food in front of us before we thank her and she walks away.

We dig in and I swear, this is the best food I’ve ever tasted. No wonder it cost so much.

“The food’s great, Harry. Thank you for taking me here.”

He seems pleased, probably reassured after I was worried about how much this dinner would cost.

“But next time, I’ll be okay with pizza or fast food. I’ll pay for those so we’ll be even.”

Harry laughs. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.” He pauses to take another bite of his food. “Did you want to watch a movie afterwards?”

I take a sip of my drink and nod. “Yeah, sure. What movie?”

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. You can pick. I’m just looking forward to watching you scream at the TV again.”

I blush once again. “Maybe I don’t want to watch a movie with you anymore,” I tease.

He laughs. “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Personally, I think it’s cute.”

“Okay, whatever you say.” I smile at him before we continue finishing our food. We start talking about random things until we finish our dessert. Harry pays for our food, including Niall’s and his friend’s before we stand up and walk over to Niall.

“Was your dinner as romantic as ours?” Harry asks Niall.

“Way more romantic,” Niall retorts.

We laugh as we make our way out of the restaurant. Once again, the cameras go off like crazy the second we step out. Harry stays close to me but makes sure not to give anything that the cameras are anticipating for.

The valet is holding my door open for me and I step inside. I sit in the back with Harry while Niall sits in the front with his friend. We drop off his friend first and then Niall drops off me and Harry at Ed’s flat. He drops us off in the parking garage before we thank him again. We say goodbye and he drives off.

Harry immediately takes my hand as we make our way to the elevator.

“Thank you for today, Harry.” I lean into him as we take the elevator up to the top floor. He wraps his arms around me.

“It’s my pleasure. I’m glad you had a good time.” He places a kiss on my forehead just as the elevator doors open up. We walk hand in hand down the hallway and I open the door to Ed’s flat. We go inside and I lead him to my room. I pick out at movie and snuggle myself in Harry’s arms.

She’s the Man starting playing on the TV and Harry tightens his grip around me. About 10 minutes into the movie, I look up at him and he looks back at me with a smile on his face. I lean up and place my lips on his and he moves his against mine instantly. He rolls over so he’s hovering over me, the kiss deepening.

“I thought we were supposed to be watching a movie,” I mumble against his lips.

He chuckles, his lips remaining glued against mine. “This is way more fun than the movie.”


I giggle before continuing to move my lips in sync with his, the movie slowly being forgotten about.




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