Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


11. Waking Up

Harry’s POV

I woke up, disoriented for a second when I felt something, or actually, someone in my arms. I slowly opened my eyes and rested my gaze on a peacefully sleeping Lily. A smile grew on my face as I took in our position, Lily snuggled into my chest with my arms around her. I have no recollection of how we got into this position. All I remember was passing out in the middle of the movie.

I do remember her coming closer and closer to me throughout the movie until she rested her head on my shoulders. I was surprised at first but I didn’t hesitate to put my arm around her.

And now, we’re here lying in bed together.

Yesterday was a good day. Well, most of it.

After planning the whole day with Ed to cheer Lily up, I was excited to see her again and to spend more time with her. I was being an idiot at the arcade though. I guess my jealousy got the best of me and I jumped to conclusions when I shouldn't have.

 I couldn’t help it though. When I saw her and Niall hugging, it bothered me. I should’ve been the one hugging her.

And when she came over to talk to me, I was being such an ass about it. I could tell that she knew that something was bothering me and when I wasn’t saying anything about it, I could tell that she was getting annoyed. And when she walked away, I knew that I was being immature about it.

I’m glad that we talked it through.

I almost spilled my feelings for her right then when she asked me why it would bother me that her and Niall were hugging. I didn’t know what to say. I really was about to tell her how I feel about her.

I should’ve.

I know that she told me that she only sees me as a friend but I know I’m going to regret it in the future if I don’t tell her how I really feel about her.

I just wish that she felt the same way.

And when that prick grabbed her, I had this need to protect her. She seems so delicate and vulnerable but she’s also one of the strongest people I know.

That’s one of the millions of things that I like about her.

And after yesterday, I was starting to think that, maybe, she’s starting to like me back.

When she kissed me on the cheek, it gave me hope.

But I know that I shouldn’t look too much into it. Girls give guys kisses on the cheek all the time.


But now, with her here with me right now. I can’t help but think about how I want this every day. To wake up every morning with her in my arms.

She was the one that made the first move by resting her head on my shoulder and she could’ve stopped it any time.

The last thing I remember is her resting her head on my shoulder but now she’s lying right against me, her hands resting on my chest and her head snuggled into my neck.

I could feel her breath against my neck, sending shivers throughout my body.

I looked back at her face and I wanted, more than anything, to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her and wake her up and have her smile at me.

She stirred in her sleep, which caused a strand of hair to fall on her face.

Out of reflex, I carefully placed the strand of hair behind her ear before resting my hand on her arm.

Suddenly, she started stirring more before she slowly opened her eyes, resting on mine.

I waited patiently for her reaction.

Maybe she would feel uncomfortable about this right now, especially with Ed downstairs.

I was waiting for her to pull away.

But I breathed a sigh of relief as she relaxed and smiled up at me.

“Good morning,” she said, sleep still lacing her voice.

“Morning,” I whispered back.

She stretched, causing my hand to drop from her arm so I rested it on my stomach.

She moved to lean on her elbow and I immediately felt the longing to have her back in my arms. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she smiled down at me before she went to lean against the headboard.

“I’m sorry if you wanted to sleep in your own bed. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve woken you up or not,” she said to me. I sat up and leaned on my arm to get a better view of her. She looked nervous as she played with her fingers.

I moved closer to her.

“Hey, don’t worry about. It’s perfectly fine. It was…nice,” I smiled at her to let her know that I was really fine with it. She smiled back at me and I could see her relaxing.

“Anyways, we should probably head out. Ed might be awake,” she said as she got out of bed.

As much as I wanted to stay in bed with her longer, I knew she was right. Ed could come in and see us and who knows what he’d do.

“Yeah, he’ll probably kill me in my own house.”

She laughed as she put on her shoes before she started fixing her hair.

 I watched her every move as I put on my boots, looking away when she looked back at me when she was done.

I got up and we headed to the door.

“Wait, let me see if the coast is clear.”

She giggled before I slowly opened the door. I poked my head out and listened carefully for any noises.


“I think we’re okay.”

I opened the door fully and we quietly made our way down the hallway while we continued to listen for any sounds.

We made our way down the stairs and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Ed still sleeping on the couch.

I checked the time and saw that it was almost 11. But with how drunk he got last night, he wouldn’t be waking up for another couple of hours.

“Do you want some breakfast?” I asked once we entered the kitchen. “Well, technically, brunch?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll help you.”

Lily’s POV

“Hey, Harry?” I continued to cut strawberries in order to avoid his gaze.


I was about to ask him what last night meant. Lying in each other’s arms as we slept was great but it confused the hell out of me. I really thought that Harry would be gone the second that I woke up but he didn’t. He was still there.

And he wasn’t just lying there waiting for me to wake up so he could leave, he was there beside me, his arms around me, facing me as he kept his eyes on me.

Before I fell asleep, I really thought about waking him up in case he would be uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed with me but, in all honesty, I wanted him to stay.

And I’m glad he did.

I wasn’t even worried that Ed was just a few meters away.

This is what happens when I’m with Harry. I forget about the consequences. I forget about the worries.

I’m happy.

“Umm, last night…”

I finally made myself look up at him and I jumped as I saw him standing right beside me. I gulped before turning to face him.

“What about last night?” he asked, apprehension present in his eyes.


Staring into his eyes for such a long time made me forget about what I was going to ask. Instead, I found myself leaning closer to him.

And Harry was doing the same.

As he leaned his head down towards mine, I could feel the butterflies going crazy in my stomach.

Our lips were only inches apart. I could feel the pull, I could feel the need. I could feel Harry’s breath against my face as I looked down at his lips.

Our lips were now centimeters apart.

The door to the kitchen suddenly opened causing the two of us to break from the moment. We quickly moved apart, Harry taking a couple of steps back as I turned around and continued to cut up the fruit.

“Good morning, Ed,” Harry said.


I could hear him making himself a cup of coffee before he came up beside me, leaning against the counter.

“You okay there, Lil? You’ve been cutting that same piece of strawberry since I got here,” Ed said. I looked up at him as he took a sip of his coffee before I looked back down at what I was doing.

I realized that I was slicing the same strawberry that I was cutting before me and Harry had our moment.

I cleared my throat as I grabbed another strawberry.

“Um…yeah, I’m fine,” my voice came out weird so I popped the strawberry in my mouth to avoid speaking again.

Ed raised his eyebrows before he looked away with a what-a-weirdo look. I snuck a glance at Harry and saw him intently looking at me. I immediately looked away, taking a sip of my coffee before turning around and heading for the door.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” I kept walking, not daring to look over at either of them.

Just before the door closed behind me, I heard Ed say something to Harry.

“What’s up with her?”

I didn’t stay to listen to what Harry would say to him so I kept walking and headed to the bathroom.

I closed the door behind me, leaning against it for support as I took many deep breaths. I walked over to the sink and splashed water over my face. I was still worked up from what just happened. We didn’t even kiss and it already ignited every nerve in my body.

I dried my face before taking one last deep breath and headed back to the kitchen. When I got there, the table was already set and the food was placed on it.

 I sat down beside Ed and across from Harry before we started eating. I seemed to have lost my appetite as I swiped a piece of strawberry back and forth on my place with my fork.

I jumped as Ed nudged me on my side.

“What’s up with you?” he asked.

“Nothing, just tired.”

“Why aren’t you eating?”

I poked the strawberry with my fork before turning to Ed and popping it in my mouth. I started to excessively chew, causing Ed to roll his eyes at me.

“You’re weird,” he said, laughing.

It was my turn to roll my eyes before facing forward again. I made the mistake of looking up at Harry to see him, once again, looking at me. He was looking at me with an unreadable expression before I looked away, not wanting to decipher what he was thinking.

Harry’s POV

Why couldn’t Ed have waited a couple more minutes? Why? Why? Why?

We were so close.

I continued to swear at Ed in my head as we ate breakfast in silence. I looked up from my plate and saw Lily playing with her food. I could tell that something was bothering her.

Suddenly, Ed nudged her, catching her attention.

“What’s up with you?” he asked her.

She looked up at him. “Nothing, just tired.”

“Why aren’t you eating?”

She took her fork and took a strawberry before she turned to Ed and popped it in her mouth. She playfully started chewing in front of Ed, causing me to smile at how silly she was being right now.

“You’re weird,” he said, laughing.

She rolled her eyes before she turned to face me again. I looked at her, seeing her looking less worried now. She looked back at me and we looked at each other, not needing to say anything but knowing what the other was thinking.

I could tell that she wanted that kiss as much as I do. I could see it in her eyes. But she looked away before I could tell for sure.

We finished eating and we cleaned up the table. Lily washed the dishes while Ed rinsed and I dried afterwards.

Suddenly, Ed took the sprayer from the sink and gave Lily a quick spray of water.

She flinched and gasped at the water that hit her face before she looked at Ed with a shocked face. Ed just laughed at her while I tried to hold back mine.

“What the hell was that for?” she asked as she grabbed a paper towel and started drying her face.

“Nothing,” Ed replied. Right when Lily finished drying her face, Ed sprayed her again.

“Edward!” she yelled. She shoved him before wiping her face again. “You better run if you value your life.”

Ed continued to laugh before he started running away. Lily quickly ran after her into the living room and I watched in amusement as I followed them. I leaned against the wall, watching everything in silence.

Ed ran into the bathroom and locked it behind him before Lily could get in.

“Open the door right now!” She pounded on the door, trying to turn the knob.

“What’s the magic word?” he sang from the other side of the door.

She groaned before she turned around and leaned her back against the door with a loud thud.

“Well, I’m not leaving this spot until you come out?” she said.

“So, you’re going to lean against the door until I open it?” he asked. I could tell what he was planning to do and I was tempted to warn Lily.

She had a confused look on her face. “Uhh…yeah?”

A few seconds later, the bathroom door flew open and I could see the shock on Lily’s face as she fell back to the ground.

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from me as I saw Ed quickly escape from the bathroom, hopping over her. But Lily was too fast as she sat up and grabbed Ed’s legs, causing him to fall down with a yell.

She quickly crawled over him and sat down on his back and pinning his arms to the ground. I walked over to them to get a better view.

“Who’s laughing now?” she said.

Ed groaned. “God, you’re so fat.”

Ed is just asking for it.

She took his arms and pulled them down before placing her knees on top of them, locking them in place. She then took her hands and started tickling him causing him to writhe from under her while he laughed against his will.

She stopped tickling him before Ed groaned again. “Say that again. I dare you.”

God, she’s feisty.

“I said, ‘you’re fat’,” he repeated. I closed my eyes and shook my head at how Ed was just asking for his death right now.

Not surprised, Lily started tickling him again.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!” Ed yelled in between laughs. But she continued to tickle him. “Harry, save me!”

She looked up at him with a smile on her face. “Don’t you dare or you’ll have the same fate as him.”

I held up my hands in front of me. “I wasn’t planning on helping him.” I smiled back at her before she stopped tickling him.

“Now say that I’m stronger, better, and more awesome than you,” she ordered.

“But then I’d be lying,” he said.

 I laughed as Lily smacked him on the head.

“Okay, okay. Lily, you’re stronger, better, and more awesome than me,” he said quickly.

She smiled before straightening up in her sitting position. She patted him on the head.

“Good boy,” she said, before getting up and brushing off her knees.

Ed groaned and turned to his back.

“Next time, you better think twice before you do something like that,” she warned him.

All he did was nod as he tried to recollect himself. We waited until Ed got up and lean against the wall.

“You guys are hilarious,” I finally said.

“Glad we entertained you,” Ed said, placing his hand on his back and stretching. “This is a perfect example of why you shouldn’t mess with her. I don’t know why I haven’t learned from the many other times I’ve annoyed her.”

I laughed.

“You just want to redeem yourself after I win every time,” she replied. “But you never do.” She placed her hand on his shoulder and patted it.

“I at least know now not to annoy you when I have a hangover.”

“Maybe you should learn never to annoy me again.”

He looked at her. “Nahh, it’s too fun.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile.

“Anyways, we should go. I have a meeting tonight and I need to take a shower and get ready,” Ed said. He walked up to me and gave me a hug. “Thanks for letting us crash here. Lily slept in the guest room, I’m guessing?”

My eyes opened wide before I looked at Lily, who had the same expression on her face. I quickly recovered before I looked back at Ed.

“Er, yeah. She did.”

He nodded before turning around. “I’m just gonna use the bathroom before we go.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as he turned around and went into the bathroom.

“That was close,” she said, taking a step closer to me.

“Yeah,” was all I could say.

“So, thanks for letting us stay the night. And for yesterday. I had a great time,” she said before she walked up to me and gave me a hug. I immediately hugged her back.

“Yeah, anytime. I had a great time, too. We should all hang out more often.”

She gave me a smile as we pulled away.

“Don’t forget about our deal?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes with a small smile. “Of course, how could I forget?”

I chuckled. “I’ll let you know when I have some time off.”

She nodded just as Ed came out of the bathroom.

“You ready?” he asked as he waited by the front door.

“Yeah,” she said as she headed towards him. I followed them and opened the door for them. We exchange one last goodbye before they got into the car and drove away.

I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch with a huge smile on my face as I went over everything that’s happened in the last 24 hours.

But the best part was last night, hands down.

It hasn’t even been 5 minutes and I already miss her.

How does she do this to me? And we’re not even together.

I’m already wishing to get the opportunity to spend more time with her again.

Suddenly, I realized something. I pulled out my phone and opened up my messages to send her a text.

I really hope I don’t sound clingy or needy.

*I’m actually not doing anything tonight. You want to work on our deal? ;)*

I had today off and Ed had a meeting. It was the perfect opportunity.

I waited nervously for her reply.

What if she’s getting tired of me?

We’ve hung out every day since she got here. She must be.

God, I’m so stupid. I should’ve just waited until next time.

Now she’s gonna think that--

*I’d love to :)*

I smiled as I read her text.

Maybe she’s not tired of hanging out with me.

Maybe she wants to spend time with me as much as I do with her.

Maybe, finally, things will turn out how I hope they will.




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