Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


29. Stargazing

Harry’s POV

“Are you sure that’s not too much?”

“No, Harry. She’s going to love it,” Perrie reassures me. “What girl wouldn’t want to be serenaded to on top of the Eiffel Tower at night?”

I smile at her.

“Babe, how come you don’t do romantic things like this for me?” Perrie leans back on the couch and leans closer to Zayn. He’s been preoccupied with his phone the entire time that me and Perrie planned this trip to Paris.

So far, we’ve planned a romantic dinner beside the lake. We booked a violinist and a cellist to play throughout the dinner. Afterwards, I’m going to take her to the park for a quiet and peaceful walk. Last, but certainly not least, I was going to take her to the Eiffel Tower. I had booked it for an hour so that we could have it to ourselves and I would be able to sing for her without being interrupted. I also bought her a pair of earrings that I’m going to give to her in the middle of our dinner.

I know that she doesn’t like it when I buy things for her. She was already feeling bad about me paying for the trip for her but I wanted to do something nice for her. She deserves everything in the world.

As the plan came together with help from Perrie, I was started to get more and more excited for this trip. I wanted to make sure that it goes perfectly and that she has the best time while we’re there.

“What are you talking about? I always do things like this for you,” Zayn interrupts my thoughts as he places his phone down and looks over at Perrie.

Her eyebrows rise at him. “Oh yeah? When was the last time you did something romantic for me?”

His eyebrows scrunch in concentration and then his face lights up with a smile. “Last night.”

Perrie rolls her eyes. “Buying Nando’s for dinner and then watching you play video games for hours does not count. Look at Harry, he has this whole thing planned for Lily.” She pouts.

Zayn wraps an arm around her shoulder. “Well, I think that just being with you is romantic to me.”

I tried to stifle at laugh at how cheesy he was being. Perrie didn’t seem to believe him as well, as she rolls her eyes. But she smiles and leans against his body.

“Good one,” Perrie says sarcastically.

I laugh. “So, you think this is good?” I look down at my laptop that I have in front of me that has everything that we planned listed in detail.

“It’s perfect, Harry, really. She’s going to love it.”

I smile, feeling reassured. I just wanted everything to go perfectly.

I can’t wait to see her face when we get to Paris.

I nod. “I hope so. So anyways, I told her today that me and the boys have to leave a day earlier now and that you two are going to go there together the next day. Just make sure that you don’t tell her anything.”

She places her hand over her heart. “I promise. I won’t say a word about it.”

“Be careful though. She’s very persuasive and sneaky, she’ll try and get it out of you.” I smile at the thought of Lily. She’s been trying to get it out of me for the past few days. Like I said, she’s very persuasive. She tried to get it out of me by kissing me and then bribing me with more.

But I controlled myself. I wanted to surprise her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tape her to her seat and tape her mouth for the whole flight if I have to.”

I laugh as I close my laptop.

“Sounds good to me. Thanks, Perrie. I don’t know the first thing about being romantic so I really appreciate your help.”

“No worries. But you owe me.” She points a finger at me with a serious look on her face.

“How about I convince Zayn to take you out on a romantic date one day?”

Her face lights up and I smile. I look over at Zayn and he’s giving me a funny look, making me laugh. But then he forces a smile on his face when Perrie looks over at him.

“Don’t worry, babe, Harry doesn’t need to convince me to be romantic with you,” Zayn bats his eyelashes at her and Perrie swats his arm.

“Anyways, I should go, I’m picking up Lily in a bit.” I stand up and Perrie and Zayn came over to give me a hug.

“Thank you again, Perrie.”

“Anytime. I can’t wait to hear about it afterwards. Or if you want, you can record the whole thing so I can watch it.”

I laugh. “Maybe next time.” I walk over to the door and wave goodbye as I head to the car.

I drive to Ed’s place and park at the front.

I think it’s great that we don’t have to hide anymore. I don’t have to pick her up at the parking garage, I can go through the lobby where everyone can see. I know that it’s harder now with the paparazzi following us but it’s all worth it.

I head inside the building, calling Lily to let me in. I take the elevator up to Ed’s floor and knock on the door once I get there.

I was expecting Lily to open but I’m greeted by Ed’s presence.

“Oh hey, Harry. I’m ready for our date.” He gives me a creepy smile, a burst of laughter escaping my mouth. A second later, I see Lily appear from behind Ed and proceeds to shove him.

“Hey, he’s mine,” she says.

Ed pushes her back. “I had him first before you came here and stole him from me.”

Like I expected, Lily pushed him back once again. “Yeah, well, that’s cause he likes me better.”

Once again, Ed pushes her. “That’s not what he said last night.”

Lily’s mouth opens wide before she grimaces. “Ew! That’s disgusting, Ed. Never say that again.”

Me and Ed are laughing as Lily seems to be getting the image of me and Ed out of her head. Ed walks back into the living room and sits down on the couch and flips the channel. I walk up to Lily and wrap an arm around her.

“Hey, how are you?” I ask. She smiles at me, placing her hands on my waist.

“I’m good. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” I give her a quick kiss on her lips and her smile widens.

“How was Zayn’s? Did you guys finish that song that you were talking about?”

I had told her this morning that I couldn’t hang out because I had to finish writing this song with Zayn. I couldn’t tell her about what I was actually doing.

“Yeah, just a few more touch ups and then we’re done.”

“That’s good.”

“So are you ready to go?”

She nods before she steps out of my arms to get her purse. “Yeah, let’s go.” She walks over to Ed and ruffles his hair. “I’ll see you later, Ed.”

Ed turns to face us as Lily walks over to me. “Have her home by 10 and not a minute later.”

Lily rolls her eyes and takes my hand, pulling me out of the door. Just before the door closes, she pokes her head into the door.

“Yeah, I’ll be home 10 o’clock tomorrow morning.”

She quickly closes the door but I hear a “hey!” coming from the other side.

Me and Lily laugh as we walk down the hallway towards the elevator. As we wait, Lily gets a text. She laughs as she reads it before she holds it out for me to read.

It’s from Ed.

*You’re not serious, are you??*

I laugh and she takes her phone back and starts typing a reply.

“You’re going to tell him that you were kidding, right? I just got back into good terms with him. I don’t need him to punch me in the nose again.”

She puts her phone away and smiles at me. The elevator arrives and we step inside.

“Of course I told him. But I told him that I am definitely not going to be home by 10. There are 13 year olds out there with later curfews than that.”

“Good.” I smile at her and she leans up to place her lips on mine.

We reach the ground floor and I take her hand as we walk out. Like I expected, there were a few paparazzi waiting outside. There were only a couple when I got here but they seem to have multiplied since then. I pull Lily closer to me as she takes her other hand and clutches my arm.

We don’t have any security with us so I quickly open the doors and quickly head to the car. The flashes are blinding me. I have to shade my eyes with my hand to be able to see where I’m going.

“Harry, where are you guys headed?”

“How long have you two been together?”

“You guys look great together. Can you smile for the camera?”

I tighten my grip on Lily’s small hand as we finally reach my car. I open the door for her and wait for her to settle in her seat. I quickly make my way to the driver’s side and hop inside. The volume of the shouts coming from outside is muffled as soon as I close the door. I start the car and slowly pull out of the parking lot, seeing as how a couple of them are standing in front of us.

Once we finally free and driving on the streets, I take Lily’s hand in mine as we head to our spot.

“So, how was your day?” I ask.

“It was good. I just watched a couple of movies with Ed.” She pauses. “Oh, and I told him about Paris.”

My eyebrows raise as I look over at her once we’re stopped at a red light. “Really? What’d he say? Is he okay with it?”

Ever since I asked her to go to Paris with me and especially since Ed found out about the two of us, I’ve been so nervous about when we’d tell Ed. I mean, he just found out about us and now he finds out that I’m taking her to Paris with me for a whole weekend.

“He took it surprisingly well. I mean, I told him that Perrie would be there and that you and the rest of the guys are going to be there for work so it’s not like it’s for some romantic getaway.”

I tense at her words. She was right about me and the guys being there for work but she didn’t know about the romantic weekend that I had planned for the two of us.

“That’s great. I was worried that he’d tag along and be a chaperone for the whole trip.”

She laughs and I start driving again. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.”

We reach our spot a few minutes later and I park beside a tree. We step out of the car and walk over to the edge. I sit down and help her beside me. I take her hand and I immediately look down at my ring that she still has placed on her thumb. She still hasn’t given it back to me since she took it the other day and I didn’t mind at all.

Suddenly, I get an idea. Lily watches me as I take off my paper plane necklace. I take off the pendant from the chain and place the paper plane in my pocket.

“Can I see my ring for a second?”

She playfully narrows her eyes at me. “You aren’t going to take it back, are you?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “No, I just want to do something with it.”

She takes off the ring and places it in my open palm. I put the chain through the ring and let it dangle as I hold it up by the ends.

Her eyes light up as she gazes at it.

“Turn that way.” I point to her other side and she follows my order.

I hold out the new necklace in front of her and wait as she takes her hair and holds it up away from her shoulders. I pull the ends of the chain to the back of her neck and clasp it locked. As she places her hair back down, she faces towards me again. She takes the ring in between her fingers and smiles at it.

“Thank you, Harry. I love it.”

“Oh. I only did that so you wouldn’t lose it,” I joke.

She swats my arm as she drops the ring from her fingers, letting it rest just above her chest.

“I’m kidding. I just thought that, now you won’t have to take it off. It’s yours.”

She looks up at me and gives me a look that sends butterflies to my stomach. She leans over and wraps her arms around me as she buries her face into the crook of my neck. I embrace her and place my head on her shoulders.

We let silence surround us as I keep her in my arms.


“Harry, I’m going to fall!”

I’m standing on the top of my car and Lily is standing on the step bar. I’m trying to help her up but she keeps getting scared.

“Don’t worry. I’ll pull you up. Just place your foot on the seat. She looks down at her feet and she takes one and places her foot on it. She pushes herself up and I wrap my arms around her as I pull her up.

She squeals as I pull her onto the top of the car. She goes on her knees, trying to balance herself.

I sit down beside her and she does the same.

“Who’s stupid idea was this anyways?” she asks.

“Yours.” I chuckle. “You’re the one that said that you wanted to lie down and look up at the stars.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think that we’d do it on the hood of your car. Don’t you still have the blankets in the trunk?”

“I took them out to wash them. Now, come on, you survived. Let’s just lie down and look at the stars like you wanted.”

I lie down and she lies down beside me. I put my arm around her to let her rest her head on my shoulder.

Suddenly, she sticks her thumb out in front of her. I’m confused at first but then the memory of the first night that we spent together flashes in my mind. The night where we walked to the London Eye and we had stopped at the bridge to look at the stars and the moon.

She had told me that quote from the movie about the moon.

I find myself doing the same thing as I stick out my thumb beside hers. I placed it in front of me to cover the moon straight above us. Like the quote said, the moon wasn’t bigger than my thumb.

“Every time I look at the moon, I think of you,” I whisper. She slowly brings her hand back down and I do the same. I look over at her and see that she’s looking up at me.

“Same here.” She places her fingers over my ring that’s resting on her chest. “And now I have something else to remind me of you.”

A smile erupts on my face as I take a second to look at the ring before looking back up at her.

“Now I need something of yours to keep with me.”

“Hmm,” she hums in thought. She looks down her body until she raises her arm. I see her simple black, yarn bracelet and she sits up to slide it off of her wrist.

“Give me your wrist,” she says. I hold it out in front of her and she puts it on me. She pulls on two strings to adjust the size to fit perfectly on my wrist. She smiles at it as I pull it closer to me to take a closer look. She lies back down on my shoulder and I turn to place a kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you.”

I place my hand back down to rest on my stomach.

“Hey, Harry?”

I hum in response, subconsciously running my hand along her arm.

Lily’s POV

I really wanted to tell him everything about Marcus. I hate having to hide it from him. It’s not like there’s anything that would make Harry upset or mad. I’d let him know that I’m back on good terms with Marcus because of his mother.

I hate having to lie to him. I want to be open with him. How can I expect it from him when I can’t even do the same?

I try to force the words out of my mouth but I can’t seem to speak them. I’m scared.

I’m scared that he’ll get upset and break up with me again. I remember when he broke up with me when he saw that Marcus texted me. I have no idea how he’s going to react when I tell him that I’ve forgiven him for what he did to me and that we’re friends and talking again.

I don’t want to lose Harry again.

“Umm…I’ve been writing a song with Ed.”

It wasn’t a lie but it also wasn’t what I wanted to tell him. It’ll just have to wait. I will tell him but not right now. I don’t know if putting it off will just make it worse but I’m too scared right now to tell him.

“Really? That’s great. What’s it about?”

I smile, forgetting about my worries. “It’s a secret, actually. I asked him to help we with one of the songs that I started writing. He’s helped me with the music and the harmony. He actually suggested that I go into the studio with him one day and record it once we’re finished. But then I said that I’d only do it if he sang the song me, you know, as a duet. I don’t think I’d be able to record a song just yet. But I really want to do the song with Ed.”

“That’s great. You should. Ed is a musical genius so I’m sure it’ll be amazing. I can’t wait to hear it. Who’s it about?”

I smile once again. The song is one of the songs that I wrote about him. Not the one that I sang to him the other day. It was the first song that I wrote about him, actually. I started writing it after we went on the London Eye. The words just came together in my mind, flowing through my hand and pencil and into my journal.

I wanted to surprise him when the song was finished. I wanted to show him how much I care about him in a different way than I have been since we’ve been together. Putting your thoughts in a song is different than just exchanging words of endearment to each other. A lot more thought goes into a song, especially when it’s a passion of yours.

And this song is filled with the first thoughts that I had of Harry. With some lyrical help from Ed, I knew it was the perfect song to record for my first time.

“Secret. Just like your plans for Paris is a secret,” I tease.

“Oh really?” He moves up to lean on his elbow, looking down at me with a smirk. “And will kissing you get it out of you liked you tried to do to me?”

I smirk back at him. “Maybe.”

Not a second passed by before Harry leans down, stopping an inch away from my lips. My breaths deepen as I feel his fan out across my face. His hand rests on my waist and I place both mine on his back.

He continues to tease me, pulling back when I lean up to try to kiss him. He smirks, my eyes narrowing at him. He finally closes the distance between our lips. His warm, soft lips moving softly and slowly against mine. He rests his body closer to mine, my hands snaking up to rest on the back of his neck and the other one raking through his hair.

“Can you tell me now?” he mumbles against my lips, not stopping the kiss.

I smile and lightly shake my head. “Mh-mh.”

He deepens the kiss, his head turning to one side. My hands seem to have a mind of its own as I accidentally tug on his hair. However, I’m shocked when I hear a moan coming from Harry. I bend my knee up to rest around Harry’s leg, causing Harry to move even closer to me.


I can’t seem to make any noise come out so I just shake my head. I don’t even remember what I just said ‘no’ to. I’m too engrossed in the slowly deepening kiss to concentrate on anything else. He doesn’t seem to accept my answer as he deepens the kiss even more. His tongue enters my mouth, dancing with mine. His hand glides up underneath my top, goosebumps quickly appearing under his touch.

He moves so he’s right on top of me, my legs moving to his sides as he rests in between them. He still supports himself on his elbow, seeing as we were still on the top of his car. My hands move back down and I place them on his back, feeling his muscles tense and relax as he moves against me.

“How about now?”

The kiss has me lightheaded now, every other thought being pushed out of the way.

“Hm?” I honestly forgot what he was asking me. He smiles against my lips and leaves one last kiss before he leans back.

“I guess kissing you won’t work since it seems to make you forget about what I’m trying to get out of you.”

I roll my eyes with a smile. “I guess not. Works in my favour. I get to kiss you and I don’t have to tell you the secret.”

“Oh, so now you remember.” His eyebrows raise and a smirk appears on his adorable face.

I giggle. “I guess I just did. You got a problem with that?”

I regret my threat as soon as Harry’s fingers dig into my sides, tickling me. I laugh out loud, the sound echoing through the trees.

“I do have a problem with that actually.” He doesn't stop, my feeble attempts at pushing him off of me failing every time.

“Harry! Stop! Please!” My stomach is starting to hurt from the non-stop laughter and my arms are starting to weaken from trying to get him off of me.

He finally stops and I try to catch my breath.

“I hate you.” I turn my head to the side, my arms falling onto the car beside me as I try to get control of my breathing again.

“Aw, I love you, too.”

I smile up at him. I can never stay angry with him, not that I was actually mad at him for tickling me.

“We should go.” I take a glance at my watch and see that it’s almost midnight. “It’s getting late.”

He pouts. “Do we have to?

I laugh. “Yes. Don’t worry, I'll see you again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that until you get tired of me.”

He bites his lip, holding back a smile. “I’d never get tired of you. If anything, I don’t get to see you enough as much as I like.”

“How do you always know what to say to make me feel like the happiest girl in the world?”

He looks deep into my eyes, locking with them in a piercing gaze.


“Because I want to be the only one to not just make you feel like the happiest girl in the world. I want to actually make you the happiest girl in the world.”




Sorry for taking so long to update! I've been busy with school.

But good news, I have the next few chapters planned out already so if you 'like' and 'favourite', it'll make me write faster! ;)

So please like and comment! :)

Thanks for reading!

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