Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.

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75. Shopping

Please read author's note at end! IMPORTANT!

**

Lily's POV

"Black or white?" I ask Harry. I point to the plate sets in front of us. Along with Eleanor and Louis, we decided to buy the rest of the things we needed for the flat. I decided to get the things for the kitchen and things that I need for my bedroom and bathroom while Eleanor and Louis split from us to get things for the living room and her own bedroom and bathroom.

"I like the white. It'd be nicer for when you have fancy parties."

I laugh. "I don't think El and I are planning on having fancy parties once school starts. But you're right, I like the white better."

I decide to buy two sets just in case Louis thinks of more creative ways to put them up on the shelf.

I start to push the cart and Harry stands behind me, his arms around me as he rests his head on my shoulder. We push the cart together down the aisle as I look down at my list.

"Last thing. Placemats."

We go into the next aisle where the placemats are and I start going through them.

"There's so many!" I exclaim, my eyes darting back and forth between all of them.

Circle ones. Rectangular one. Red one. Blue one. One with stripes. One with polka dots. How is someone supposed to choose from all of these? This was more overwhelming than choosing plates.

"Get this one."

I look over at Harry and see him with a plastic one with - of course - him and the rest of the boys on it.

I roll my eyes and laugh. "Maybe you can buy it for your own place."

I turn back to the placemats, eyeing the crème-coloured circle ones. I take one and feel the material.

"Come on. What's better than eating and seeing me smiling up at you?"

I take six of the crème-coloured and place them in the cart.

"Maybe if we had a kid."

Sh*t.

"What?"

"What?" I quickly say, turning around to hide my red cheeks and wide eyes.

I start to push the cart down the aisle and I hear Harry walking behind me.

"What did you say?" Even though I can't see him, I can hear the smile on his face.

"Nothing," I say, clearing my throat. I make my way to the checkout, making sure to stay ahead of Harry.

"Yes, you did." He catches up to me and resumes his position to walk behind me with his arms around me as he helps me push.

"You said 'if we had a kid'. I heard you nice and clear." I glance at him quickly and see that damn smirk on his face.

"I didn't mean it. It-it just came out."

"So you don't want to have a kid with me?" he continues to tease me, knowing that he's just being dramatic.

"Harry," I whine as a smile creeps onto my face. "That's not what I meant. It-it was hypothetical. Let's just pretend I didn't say that."

I feel him place a kiss on my cheek.

"Fine. I'll let it go but I'm not going to forget that you said it."

I sigh. I know Harry. He'll never let me forget that I said this. He's going to remind of this any opportunity he gets.

"Plus, he would love that placemat."

I laugh and turn to look up at him. "He?"

"Yes, 'he'. And he'd be adorable. Of course, getting that from me."

I continue to stare at him, knowing that I look like a little girl daydreaming. I get so caught up in staring at him dreamily that I don't even notice that we've stopped and Harry clears his throat.

"Would you like to check out your purchases?" he asks with a grin.

I blink and shake my head as I turn to see the cashier lady looking at me. I feel my cheeks heat up and also Harry's burning gaze at the back of my head. I take out the things from the cart and Harry places them back in the cart at the end after the lady scans them.

I hand her my card but the lady just looks at me confusedly.

"The gentleman already gave me his card. It's already paid for, miss."

My eyes widen as I turn to Harry. "Harry! No! What the hell?"

He just smiles innocently as he places the last box in the cart.

"Could you please refund him and use my card?" I ask the lady.

Harry stands beside me and I can see her looking between the two of us.

"Lily, don't make this nice lady do extra work? She has other customers to help. Let's just go and put all of these things in your new flat," he said in a sweet voice.

I absolutely hate it when people pay for my things. Ed knows that and still does it to annoy me. Now I'm sure that Harry knows that, too, and does it to annoy me, as well. I know that Harry's just being nice but I hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of him.

I sigh and put my card back in my wallet before I walk past Harry and push the cart out of the store.

"Lily, come on. Don't be mad."

Of course I'm not mad but I need him to understand that I don't want him to always pay for me like he always does.

"We'll talk later."

I wait for Harry to open the trunk and I start to put everything inside. I can see Harry looking at me warily as he helps me but I just continue to put the bags in the car. He closes the trunk when I place the last bag inside and I go to return the cart in the shelter. I go back to the car and go inside when I see Harry sitting in the driver's seat.

I put on my seatbelt and notice that Harry hasn't moved. I cross my arms and look out the window.

"Lily. I'm sorry. I...I just wanted to make you happy."

I look over at him and see him with his head down. I take a deep breath and take one of my hands and place it over his.

"Harry, you don't need to buy me all of these things to make me happy."

He looks up at me and clasps my hand through his.

"You already make me happy just being with you."

He sighs. "I'm sorry. I just...I want to do everything I can to make you happy...so you'll stay with me."

I turn in my seat to face him completely and rest my other hand on his cheek. "I love you, Harry. As long as I do and as long as you love me back, I'm here to stay. Just keep doing what you're doing, just keep making me happy like you've been doing, and I'll stay. I love you, okay? That's all that matters."

He smiles and leans forward to give me a lingering kiss.

"I love you. And I'm sorry. Next time, I promise to ask you first before I plan on buying things for you."

I roll my eyes but give him a smile. At least we're getting somewhere. He's just finding a way around it but at least it's something.

"Good."

I give him one last kiss before I sit back in my seat. Harry backs out of the parking lot and out of the plaza.

"El and I are going grocery shopping tomorrow so we can go out for dinner again tonight."

As soon as he opens his mouth, I know what he's going to say.

I interrupt him. "And I'm paying."

Harry raises an eyebrow at me before he shakes his head. "You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met. I can never win with you."

I give him a toothy smile and take his free hand, placing it on my lap. "I love you, too."

**

I sit on the counter and just watch Harry as he puts away the stack of new plates in the shelf. He puts the box on the floor in the corner before he makes his way to me.

"Thank you." I take his hand and pull him to stand in between my legs before I sling my arms around him and kiss him.

"You're welcome. Glad I could help."

He leans down to place his warm lips on mine again and pulls me closer to him.

He pulls away but leaves a quick kiss on my forehead. "I don't want to leave tomorrow."

I pout. "I don't want you to leave, either. Why can't you stay longer?"

He sighs and starts rubbing my waist. "Lou and I have to go back. We have an interview the day after tomorrow. I promise to come see you when I have some time off."

I just nod before I rest my head against his chest. We just stay here in this position, Harry rubbing my back as I listen to his heartbeat.

My phone vibrates and I reluctantly pull away to get it. I see a text from El so I open it.

*Lou and I are going to go clubbing tonight. Did you guys want to join us?*

I show Harry the text and he immediately shakes his head.

"Nope. I want to stay here with you. I just want to stay in bed and hold you and spend time with you before I have to leave tomorrow."

I smile at him and run my fingers through his hair. "Sounds like a wonderful idea."

I quickly send Eleanor a text telling her that we're going to pass for clubbing. I place it back where I got it and focus on Harry again.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion when I see worry appear in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

I can see his eyes darting back and forth in between mine before he gives me a small smile and shakes his head.

"I just...I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to lose you again."

I take both of my head and rest them on each sides of his face.

"You're not going to lose me, Harry. We've gone through so much and it's made us stronger, just like you said. Nothing's going to break us. We'll make this work."

"But what if you need me and I can't be there for you? What if I can't be there for you and...and you don't want to be with me anymore because of that?"

"Harry," I sigh. "I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to take you back. I know that there are going to be times when I'm going to need you here beside me but you won't be able to do that. I know that. I understand that. But that's not going to make me leave. I know you'll always be a phone call away and I have my family and El and Perrie if I need someone. Don't you ever think that both of us went through what we went through and that I'm just going to throw it all away just because of that." I smile at him. "I love you too much to let you go now. I'm definitely in too deep to even think that I'm going to let that get in between us and break us apart. I'm here as long as you want me to."

I can see the worry lessen in his features and his face visibly softens.

"Okay?" I ask in a firm voice.

He nods but I can still see the wariness in his eyes.

"Harry, what do I have to do to make you believe that you won't lose me?"

He shakes his head. "I'm just being paranoid. I'll...I'll be fine."

He attempts to give me a reassuring smile but I can see he's forcing it.

I have no idea what I can do or say to make him believe me. I thought that these past two days have shown him that I'm here to stay and I don't plan on leaving him for something as silly as distance.

I continue to look at him. I can see him zoning off and I know he's thinking about his fear of losing me. I can see it slowly consuming him. I know I need to convince him soon or he's going to take this with him when he leaves tomorrow.

There's one thing that I know might work. Something that I've been thinking about since this morning when we kissed in bed.

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion as I bite my lip in nervousness and just as he opens his mouth to say something, I smash my lips against his and tangle my fingers in his hair.

He gasps against my lips at my actions but he instantly relaxes and I feel his hands tug at my shirt and my skin. I can tell that he knows my intentions because his hands slides under my shirt and rests against the small of my back, his fingers groping my skin.

I know he definitely knows what my intentions are as I pull away to pull off his shirt, exposing his upper body and his intricate tattoos. I throw the shirt off to the side before I attack his neck with my lips.

Harry moans and tightens his grip around me. "Lily, are you sure?" he asks breathlessly. You...you don't have to do this because you feel like you have to."

I nod against his neck and suck on his warm skin one last time before I pull away.

"I want to."

He looks at me hard, most likely to look for any hesitancy or uncertainty.

I have no hesitancy or uncertainty. I want this. I feel like it'll bring us another step closer into believing that this is it. It's us against the world and this will bring us even closer.

I kiss him softly but soon enough, both of us deepen the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck before Harry grabs the bottom of my legs and lifts me off of the counter. I trail my lips down to his neck again as he carries me and walks us to my room.

 

***********************

 

Ok so first of all, a few of you guys are asking what their ship name would be now that they're back together. Someone actually made one and I was wondering if you guys like it.

HILY!

OMG I think it's adorable.

I mean, it can't be Lirry or Larry, that would just be awks. But yeah let me know what you think or if there's other ones that you guys can think of!

Secondly! As you guys can tell from the end of this chapter, Harry and LIly are gonna do the dirty LOL. SOOOOO I did make a chapter with smut in it BUT I was wondering if you guys wanted me to post it. It will be on private of course because it is very mature and not suitable for the younger readers. So basically if you guys do want me to post it, I will and it'll be totally up to you guys if you want to read it.

It will in no way at all affect the rest of the story if you do read it or not. The chapter will solely just be the love scene. The chapter after will just continue off right after they do it (lol that's not awkward to say at all).

This also means that I will only be posting it on Wattpad and not on here since you can't put chapters in private. Honestly, Wattpad is very easy to sign up for and to use so I highly recommend you guys make an account on there if you do want to read the private chapter.

So yeah, let me know if you do want me to post it. It's after this chapter SO...

This next part pertains to the people who do want to read the chapter and decide to make a Wattpad account or if you somehow already have one. Please read very carefully:

1) IF YOU'RE ALREADY FOLLOWING ME, just delete this story from your library and then add it again and then VOILA, the private chapter will appear.

2) IF YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING ME, delete this story from your library, follow me and then add it again and then TA-DA, the private chapter is there for you to read. Or you can just follow me now and do what I said in #1 when I do post the chapter.

3) HOWEVER, only do this AFTER I post the chapter (aka don't do it now). I will post a chapter letting you guys know when I do post the private chapter since you won't get notified when I do.

Anyways, I hope I explained that clearly.

SO yeah, please comment 1. about their ship name, 2. about the private chapter and 3. what you thought of this chapter! I loved this chapter so it would be lovely if you guys could leave a comment about what you guys thought :)

That's enough of my babbling. Please vote and comment!

All I want for Christmas isssssss

35 votes and 15 comments! (raising the votes because these next few chapters will take me a bit longer to write AND because I know you guys can get it to 35 votes anyways :P )

LOL thanks for reading! Love you guys <3

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