Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


117. Provoke

*Smut warning!*


Lily’s POV

The show was going great. All of my friends look like they’re having fun, singing along, dancing. It was more than halfway through and I’ve been singing and dancing along with them the entire time. However, I’ve been careful since the show started. With the fight that we had, I knew that I had to be wary of what I’m doing.

After a little talk with Marcus, I made sure to stand with the girls to make sure that Harry wouldn’t get upset if he would see me standing beside Marcus. Or any of the other guys, really. Marcus understood and didn’t have a problem with it. He still feels bad for what happened so he doesn’t mind at all.

I didn’t want to get Harry worked up on stage. I wanted him to have fun. And he was. He was his cheeky self as usual, throwing stuff at us - well, mostly at me, shouting witty comments, singing parts of songs to me. And, of course, when it came to our song, he had sung the majority of it with his eyes locked on mine.

As the song finished, he blew me a kiss before him and the others get up to start the next song. I was singing along with Eleanor and Sophia when I look up and see Harry picking up something from the floor. I thought it would just be something a fan threw at them but when he holds it in front of him and starts walking towards me with a smirk on his face, I realize what it is.

A water gun.

My eyes widen and I start taking a couple of steps back. I try to hide behind Eleanor but she pushes me, knowing that she does not want to be on the receiving end of the water gun. I look up and see Harry pointing to someone behind me and mouthing something and I turn my head to see Andy smiling and walking up to me.

I know what’s happening, and before I can run away, Andy grabs my arms and pushes me forward. I know I have no chance in escaping so I just bring my hands up to cover my face. Not a second later, I feel the cold water hitting me.

I squeal as the water sprays me and I hear everyone laughing all around me, even some of the fans. I’m being completely drenched from head to toe, the water from my hair running down to my face.

Of course I’m a bit pissed. I don’t have a change of clothes and the show’s not even done yet. And I would bet all my money that my makeup is completely ruined now.

Finally, it stops and I put on the hardest glare I have and point it at Harry. However, it doesn’t affect him at all as he throws his head back laughing, his hand clutching at his stomach. I wipe the water from my face and try to wring some of it from my shirt.

Everyone’s still laughing, including Harry, so I try to find something to throw at him. I spot a stuffed bear on the ground by the edge of the stage and I quickly grab it and throw it at Harry. Luck seems to be on my side because it hits Harry rights on his face, instantly making him stop laughing with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

Everyone’s now laughing at him and then I hear the entire stadium getting louder. I look up at the screen and realize that the camera had caught the whole thing, letting everyone witness what I had done.

Good. Karma’s got my back.

Even though I’m still a little pissed, I can’t stop myself from laughing with everyone and now it’s Harry’s turn to glare at me. He picks up the bear and throws it at me but misses before he pouts and walks back to the middle of the stage.

For the rest of the show, I decide to be a bit dramatic, not singing along to the songs, not dancing, not reacting to Harry when he would interact with us. Again, it does nothing to throw him off because he just smirks at me the entire time.

When the show finally ends, we head backstage. We wait for Harry and the others to join us but my friends come up to me to tell me that they have to leave.

“We’ll see you tomorrow at the party,” Matti says as she gives me a hug.

“Of course. Thanks again for coming. Hope you had a good time.”

“Are you kidding? This was the best night of my life.”

I laugh as we pull away. I turn to Marcus and give him a hug.

“I’ll just talk to Harry tomorrow,” he says. “I’m sure the last thing he wants to do after a show is talk to his girlfriend’s ex.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I chuckle. “Plus, I’m planning on giving him a earful once he gets here so I don’t think you’d have a chance anyways.”

He laughs. “Good luck to him.”

“He’ll need it.”

“Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again for today. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would.”

I nod. “That’s good. And no problem at all.”

I hug the others ‘goodbye’, watching them leave with one of the security guards to guide them out safely.

I sit down on the couch beside El and try to fan my shirt in an attempt to dry it. I feel like I’m still as wet as when Harry sprayed me. I give up and let my shirt cling to my skin.

“Hey, Lily, sorry for helping in Harry’s plot,” Andy says.

I roll my eyes but give him a smile. “Don’t worry. I’m not mad at you. I’m only mad at the one that embarrassed me in front of everyone.”

“I’d say you got him back pretty good though,” he laughs. “I’m sure a video of that is already on Twitter.”

I laugh. “That’s true.”

Right on cue, we hear people walking in. I stand up and cross my arms as I wait for my dear boyfriend. He walks through the door and as soon as he looks up and sees me, a smile appears on his face.

I continue to glare at him, not letting his smile get to me like it always does. It’s a challenge but I’m able to hold up even when he reaches me.

I open my mouth, about to scold him but he grabs my face and crashes his lips on mine. This was not what I was expecting him to do so I stand there frozen. I feel his lips move against mine and it’s almost enough to break through my anger. I feel a shiver but it’s not from the kiss. It’s from the cold air blowing through my wet clothes and hair.

And that’s enough to remind me of what I had planned to do once Harry got here so I push him away from me.

“Stop it. I'm still mad at you.”

Just like I expected, his smile turns into a smirk.

“Oh, come on. I know you’re not actually mad at me.”

He knows me too well. He knows that something as small as this wouldn’t actually get me mad. But who says I can’t have a little fun with him?

“I am! I’m drenched and I’m cold. And you ruined my hair and my makeup.”

He rolls his eyes, his smile never leaving his face. “You look fine. And you can wear my sweater.”

 “I don’t want to wear your sweater.” I cross my arms and turn around, looking for my bag. I find it on the couch and pick it up. As everyone’s getting ready to leave, I lean against the back of the couch and take out my phone. I pretend to be interested on Twitter as Harry grabs his things.

He walks up to me once everyone starts to make their way out of the room. When he’s right in front of me, I push myself off of the couch and walk past him.

“Lily,” he whines. “Are you actually mad at me?”

I ignore him, walking beside El. I look up at her and see her trying to hold back a smile, just like I’m doing. However, I quickly stop when Harry walks right beside me.

I keep my eyes in front of me, not acknowledging him. However, once I’m about to walk faster, I feel something being placed on my shoulders. I look down and see his sweater wrapped around me.

It doesn’t help that it instantly warms me up and that it smells like him because I want nothing more than it wrap it tighter around me. Hesitantly, I look up at him.

“Thank you,” I mumble before I look away. I put the sweater on properly, slipping my arms through the sleeves. Once I drop my hands, I feel Harry’s warm hand take mine. He’s holding onto it loosely, like he’s expecting me to let go but I just hold on tighter.

I’m not able to see his reaction because I still avoid his gaze. I know that if I break now, he’s going to know I was faking it this entire time.

We make our way out of the stadium and to the parking area. We say our goodbyes to everyone and head to our respective cars. Harry takes my hand again as we walk up to his car and he opens my door for me, waiting for me to get in so he can close it.

He gets in on his side and turns on the car. The ride is silent as he drives out of the building. I lean my head against the headrest, looking out my window, wondering if I can keep this charade up until we get back to my flat.

I have my arms crossed so when Harry reaches out, he has to settle for resting his hand on my thigh.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t think it would upset you.”

“It’s fine,” I mutter, keeping my gaze out the window.

I feel him squeeze my thigh slightly. Silence fills the car again all the way back to my flat. He parks the car and we both get out and walk towards the elevator. He takes my hand again and rubs my skin softly with his thumb.

We reach my floor and walk hand-in-hand down the hallway and up to my door. I open it and walk in, still no word being said between the two of us. I drop my bag on the couch before making my way to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

I wash the plate that’s still in the sink and after I put it away, I turn around and jump when I see Harry leaning against the counter in front of me. I didn’t even hear him walk in. How long had he been standing there?

“You still mad at me?”

I can see the corners of his mouth tug up slightly and I know that he’s finding this amusing.

“Yes, I am.”

I walk past him, heading to my room. He follows behind me, sitting on my bed as I start taking off my clothes, changing into my oversized university shirt and not bothering to put on any shorts.

I put my hair into a ponytail and as I’m about to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth, Harry stands up and walks over to my laundry basket. I watch him curiously as he stands right beside it and pushes it over, causing all of my clothes to fall out onto the floor.

“Harry! What are you doing?” I shout, quickly walking over to it to fix it.

Harry says nothing as I throw my dirty clothes back in. He just walks away to the other side of the room. When I stand up to look for him, I see him standing by my study table. He smiles at me before he knocks over the piles of books that I just cleaned up this morning.

“Harry! What the hell?!”

I stomp over to him and start picking up the books.

Okay, now I’m actually getting mad.

“What is wrong with you? Are you trying to purposely get me mad?”

“So you’re admitting that you weren’t actually mad a me. Just like I thought.”

I growl as I place the books back on the desk. I can hear the smile in his voice as he stands behind me. I have no idea what he’s trying to do but I’m too tired to bother finding out.

I turn around and see him sitting at the foot of the bed, leaning back on his hands and smirking up at me.

“Well, good job. Now I’m actually mad at you.”


I glare at him. “What do you mean, ‘good’?”

“I wanted you to get mad.”

I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes at him. “And why on earth do you want me to be mad at you?”

“Because I find you extraordinarily hot when you’re mad.”

The smirk grows on his face, his eyes sweeping up and down my body. Now I regret not putting on shorts.

“What are you talking about?”

“Honestly, our little kiss after our fight got me worked up and when I sprayed you with water and you were pretending to be mad, I just couldn’t wait to finally be alone with you here. I know you were pretending, even when I gave you my sweater, but I still enjoyed it. So, I thought that I would try and get you actually pissed off.”

He wants ‘pissed off’, I can give him ‘pissed off’.

“You’re an asshole.”

I take a step towards the bathroom to get away from him but he quickly gets up and stands in front of me, blocking my way.



I glare up at him but he just continues to smirk at me.

“Call me an asshole again.”

I know he’s trying to push my buttons and he making it really easy to get madder at him.

“You’re. An. Asshole,” I say slowly.

Suddenly, he grabs my waist and pushes me against the wall, making me gasp as he presses his body against mine.

“Again,” he groans.

“You’re an asshole,” I say through gritted teeth. I take my hands and go to push against his chest but he catches my wrists in both of his hands and slams them against the wall over my head.

By now, both of our breathing has deepened and quickened, our gazes turning hard. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my entire body, getting me worked up.

I can tell this is what Harry was trying to get out of me because I want to punch him and kiss him hard at the same time.

I know that both of us are waiting for the other to make the first move but I know I have more self-control than he does.

I push against his hands that are still trapping mine against the wall but I can barely move them.

“Let me go!”

“Do you really want me to let you go, baby?”



He presses his pelvis against mine, eliciting a groan to erupt from my mouth.

“Are you sure?” he grumbles deeply.

I groan, this time to help in my attempt to push him off but I’m weak against Harry’s strong body. Our harsh breaths mix together and I see Harry’s eyes dart down to my parted lips. My heaving chest moves against his and I know that I’m slowly losing some self-control.

With the five weeks of being apart, of not being able to touch each other, along with the tension from the fight we had about Marcus, and now with this whole charade and provoking on Harry’s part, I now have a good idea what where this is going.

I know he wants me to get all worked up. It’s only fair that I get him just as hot and bothered.

“Kiss me,” he grunts.


His gaze hardens, his pupils almost fully dilated. We’re both softly panting by now, feeling his hot breath fanning across my face.

I can feel my self-control weakening, just like my knees are doing as Harry presses himself even more against me.

It seems that we both break at the same time because we both lean forward to slam our lips against each other’s. Our lips move harshly, teeth clashing and nipping. I try to release my hands from his grip but he just tightens his hold. I need more. I need more of Harry. I need more from Harry.

I push against him again, using my hips to move him away slightly. He locks his gaze on me, a slight look of confusion on his face.

“Come on, Harry. Is that all you can do? I know you can do better than that.”

Now it’s my turn to provoke him. Just like he’s been craving after these five weeks, it’s my turn to show him how much I’ve been craving him since the day he left.

His eyes turn even darker. He looks at me for one more quick beat before he crashes his lips back on mine. He turns his head to deepen the kiss even more, taking my entire mouth in his and sucking harshly.

I push my tongue into his mouth, tasting him as he kisses me with more hunger.

I turn my head to the side, catching my breath as he turns to kiss my neck. I tilt my head back as I feel him bite and lick my skin, increasing the tingling feeling in between my legs. He pushes my hands together, still above my head, and uses one of his hands to hold onto the both of them.

He returns his lips to mine, kissing His other hand trails down, my body moving towards his touch. His hand moves to my thigh, lifting it up and pulling it behind him to wrap around his waist. Again, I try to get my hands free so I can finally touch him but my attempts are futile against his grip.

I moan into his mouth when his free hand trails back up my thigh, underneath my shirt before they stop at my waist. He clutches onto my waist, pulling me closer to him, feeling him against my aching heat.

I need to touch him. I need to feel him under my fingertips. So, I bite down on his lip hard enough to make him flinch and to focus on the pain for just enough time to rip my hands from his grip.

My hands dart to his hair, feeling the softness but also the slight dampness from sweat. I grip onto his hair in both hands and pull, making him groan and pull away from my lips. I shove him away from me, hoping it’ll ignite the fire inside of him.

Once again, we both lurch forward, grabbing each other’s faces roughly and crashing our lips together in a feverish kiss. He pushes me against the wall, the pain only adding to the pleasure. His tongue slides across my bottom lip and I use that opportunity to catch my breath but I barely have time before he grips my hips on both sides and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he slams me against the wall, his lips meeting mine once again.

All we’ve done is kiss and I’m already working up a sweat, so I lean back to grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it off, throwing it to the side before I lean in to crash my lips onto his.

He turns us around and walks over to the bed before dropping the both of us onto the mattress. Our lips remained glued as he moves one hand to my lower back and moves us up to the head of the bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, he removes his lips from mine, only to trail them down my jaw, my neck, and down my chest.

However, they don’t stop there. His lips move down my stomach, my hips, my thighs. He sits in between my legs, opening them even more before he slowly pulls my underwear down my legs. Without even letting me prepare myself, his mouth presses against my heat.

I gasp and moan, clutching onto the headboard above me as I start to slightly move my hips against his lips.

He licks, bites, sucks everywhere, before finally landing on the spot I need him the most. I take one of my hands and tangle it in his hair, tugging on it and at the same time, pulling it down more against me.

He wraps his lips around my c.lit, sucking it into his mouth and flicking his tongue against it repeatedly. I moan loudly, letting out a breathless gasp in an attempt to catch my breath. I can feel the pleasure growing, intensifying as he flicks faster.

Just as I’m about to reach my high, he pulls away.

I whine in protest as I watch him hover over my face now, his smirk glistening with my wetness.

I pant as I watch him, about to ask him why he stopped but he speaks first.

“I want to try something new,” he rasps.

My eyes widen slightly as my brain starts to go through every idea of what he’s thinking. I just wait patiently for him to finally make his move and I almost yell at him to finally do it but he sits up and takes his shirt off before he grips my hip and rolls us over so he’s underneath me. He removes the pillow from under his head and moves his entire body down slightly. I sit up and give him a look of confusion as to what “new” thing he wants to try.

Both of his hands rest on my waist, squeezing gently.

“I want you to sit on my face, baby.”

My eyes widen. This was not what I was expecting but it didn’t mean that I didn’t want it. I bite my lip, feeling my core already throbbing at the thought.

“Unless you don’t want to,” he adds, probably taking my silence as hesitation.

I quickly shake my head. “No, I…I want to.”

His smile reappears before I feel him gently pushing against my waist. I take a deep breath and move up his body, resting my knees on either side of his head as his hands move underneath me and resting on the backs of my thighs.

I look down at him, the view underneath me almost enough to push me over the edge. His bright eyes and awaiting lips that are now red and swollen from our previous, heated kiss, are what gives me the push to start lowering myself.

He keeps his eyes open when I feel his lips on my heat. I flinch at the unfamiliar but amazing feeling, gasping as he gives a bold swipe of his tongue up my slit. The pleasure washing through my entire body is what makes me press myself lower onto his mouth.

He pulls on my thighs, spreading my legs even more, letting me feel his tongue move deeper in between my folds. I can feel the pleasure growing again so I start to move my hips against his mouth.

My hands rush to his hair, gripping onto it when I feel his tongue dart inside my core, his nose nudging against my swollen c.lit.

“Harry. Yes. Hm, yes. Harder.”

He darts his tongue in and down, sucking on the skin before moving up to suck on my c.lit. He presses the flat of his tongue on it and I feel his hand sliding underneath me. He squeezes my hips and I look down to see him looking up at me.

I know what he’s signaling me to do. I lift myself up and feel two of his fingers pressing against my heat. He moves them along my slit, covering them with my slickness before he positions them at my entrance. I lower myself down, feeling his fingers slide inside me. When I lower myself completely, I feel my c.lit rest against his tongue. It only takes me a second to start grinding myself against his tongue and fingers. I move back and forth, pressing myself down every time.

“F.uck. Yes, Harry,” I pant, tugging on his hair.

A moan vibrates from deep inside his throat, the vibration increasing the pleasure in between my legs. He pulls down on my thighs, increasing the pressure in between his mouth and my heat. I feel his fingers curl to reach my g-spot before I feel them drag against my walls as I lift myself up, only to crash back down a second later.

I continue to grind my hips, trying to reach my high. It doesn’t take long, however, after I push down on his tongue and fingers one last time, feeling my o.rgasm crash through my entire body.

“F.uck, Harry! Oh. Yes…yes! Harry!”

The pleasure continues to grow as he wraps his lips around my c.lit, sucking harshly and flicking the tip of this tongue against it. I pulse around his fingers as he presses against my g-spot, further intensifying my o.rgasm.

I convulse on top of him as I come down from my high, feeling him continues to lick and move his fingers inside of me.

My breaths come out in harsh pants before I collapse to the side beside Harry. He quickly rolls over, resting on top of me.

He doesn’t waste any more time as he sits up and removes his pants and boxers in one motion. I pull him by the back of his neck, his lips landing on mine and arching my body towards him. He grinds against me, my legs wrapping around his waist before his one hand slides down my waist and grips my thigh.

“Harry…please,” I gasp against his lips.

My plea sparks something inside of him because he uses his other hand to guide his length inside of me, pushing all the way without warning, making me shout out something between a scream and a moan. He uses the same hand to grip onto the top of the headboard, using it to drive himself harder and deeper inside of me.

Another moan escapes from my mouth as I grip onto his shoulders and dig my fingernails into his skin. Just when I thought this position couldn’t get any better, he takes his other hand that was still gripping my thigh and lifts it up, letting my leg rest over his shoulder. His hand wraps around the inside of my thigh, keeping me in place as he starts to pound into me.

I release breathless gasps as pleasure ripples in waves at every thrust.

“F.uck, baby,” Harry groans. “I missed this so f.ucking much.”

Hm, this suddenly gives me an idea.

“Oh yeah? What exactly did you miss?”

I have no idea how we’re able to speak as he continues to move inside of me but we do. And the glint in Harry’s eyes shows me that he gets my motive.

“I miss touching you…tasting you… feeling myself move inside of you. I miss feeling you all warm and wet around me…hearing you moan my name as I pound myself into you.”

He starts to snap his hips against mine, his thrusts becoming sharp and deep.

His words, his movements increase the pleasure building in the pit of my stomach and slowly spreading to every inch of my body.

“But you wanna know what I missed the most?”

I stare into his eyes, continuing to gasp and moan as he continues to drive into me.

I don’t answer but I don’t think Harry expected me to with the sinful things he’s doing and saying to me.

“I miss feeling you tighten around me as you scream my name.”

With that, he starts giving harsh thrusts inside of me, now using both hands to pull against the headboard once again to drive impossibly deeper, causing my body to move up the bed.

I start moaning the loudest I ever have and if I wasn’t on cloud nine right now, I would be slightly embarrassed. I’m sure our neighbours can hear us, at least the pounding of the headboard against the wall. And let’s just say that I’m glad that El is staying with Lou again.

“Open your eyes, baby,” Harry grunts from above me.

I struggle to do just that as I open my eyes and lay my gaze on Harry’s. His lips are parted, his jaw slack as he continues to thrust inside of me, his strength and speed not hindering in the slightest. I watch the muscles on his arms ripple under his skin as he continues to pull against the headboard.

He turns his head to kiss the inside of my thigh since my leg is still hung over his shoulder.

“I’m almost there, baby,” I moan. “Faster…please.”

He does just that. He goes faster and he goes harder. Every time he pushes in, I feel his pelvis press against my c.lit, pleasure shooting from that spot to the rest of my body.

Wanting to save it for the perfect moment, I clench my walls around him, intensifying the feeling of his hard length sliding in and out of me.

He gives an animalistic moan as I do this and he gives one powerful thrust before I finally reach my high.

“Harry! Harry! YES! Oh, f.uck, keep going!”

He continues to snap his hips against mine, the sound of smacking skin and the sloshing of my slickness as he moves in and out of me actually being heard over my screams.

“F.uck, baby! You feel so f.ucking good. Oh, shit…”

He stills and twitches inside of me, his body shaking as he releases. I feel the warm liquid filling me up as he pauses as deep as he can go. His length pulses against my throbbing walls and we let it ride out our high.

He collapses on top of me, lowering my leg back onto the bed, our heaving chests moving against each other’s, letting me feel his sweaty skin. Our breaths are harsh, our hearts pounding, our bodies tingling in post-euphoric bliss.

He remains inside of me as I convulse slightly from the aftershocks of my o.rgasm. He rests his head on my chest, still trying to come back down from his own high.

I don’t know about him but that was, by far, the best sex I’ve ever had.



LOL hope you guys liked this chapter?

You better like it. It's almost 5000 words! LOL jk. But yeah, you guys saw it coming (no pun intended) (omg sorry bad joke)

Anyways, thanks for reading! Love you guys <3

PS: It's been lovey-dovey lately, you guys know what that means...........

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