Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.

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111. One Week

Sorry if people don't like it when the story suddenly leaps forwards in terms of time. I don't want the story to drag too long and honestly, it would just bore you if I wrote chapters for the entire five weeks that Harry and Lily are apart. It would all be the same. Trust me, it won't take away from the story at all and I tried to describe this leap in time as best as I could so you can have a good idea for what happened. Anyways, I hope you like it!

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Lily’s POV

“Just one more week, babe!” I smile at Harry through the screen and he immediately gives me his beautiful, dimpled smile.

Four weeks have passed since Peru. Four, long weeks that Harry and I haven’t been able to see each other. Fortunately, school has been keeping me busy. Papers and assignments every week. Tests, tests, and more tests. And now, studying for my midterm exams that I have this following week.

As for Harry, along with the boys, he’s travelling a lot more. He’s putting on more and more shows. More interviews. More photoshoots. More rehearsals. More appearances.

However, that never stopped either of us from talking every day. Some days, we’d talk on the phone for hours and some just for a few minutes before I go to sleep. Some days, we Skype when we have enough time or even just to put it on right before I go to sleep and when he’s stuck in the hotel and he’d just watch me until I fell asleep.

Some days, we text nonstop when I get home from school or on the weekend and when Harry’s on the tour bus or he has the day off and some days, all we can manage is a ‘good morning’ and a ‘good night’. Even those days, I accept them because I get to talk to Harry. I know that he’s thinking about me at least once throughout the day and I want him to know that, too, even though I’m always thinking about him.

We both know that we’re both busy so we never hold it against each other. It would be selfish of me to get upset with Harry when I’m in school half the day and studying and doing assignments the other half. And it’s worse for me since I’m always either five or six hours ahead of him and I go to sleep when it’s still early evening for him.

I told him about this, telling him that I wish that time zones didn’t exist. I let him tease me and laugh at me for it and, of course, he just says some words to me and I eventually got over it. It helped that Harry would leave me multiple texts to read when I wake up and I eventually grew to get excited every time I went to sleep.

And now, we only have one more week left. One week seems like nothing when I think about the fact that we’ve gotten through four weeks already. However, one week still feels like it can’t come soon enough.

I know. I can’t wait. I don’t even know how I’m going to react when I see you. I don’t know if I’m going to just hug you and kiss you like a normal person or collapse and cry on the floor like a baby.

I laugh and shake my head.

“I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to tackle you to the ground and kiss you to make up for the five weeks.”

I can’t complain about that.” He grins and gives me a quick wink. “Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about next week. So, we have our Manchester show that Friday and I’m hoping you’ll be able to go. But the boys and I were thinking that you and El could tag along with us to London. We’ll stay there in Manchester for the night after the show and then we’ll all head to London Saturday morning and we’ll have a party that night. Our show there won’t be until Monday so you can stay with me until Sunday. What do you think?

“Yeah, that’s perfect. I was planning on going with you anyways. I finish my exams this week so I’ll be free that weekend.”

Great. I can’t wait. I got you a couple of things while travelling. You’ll love it.

I smile. “You didn’t have to, Harry. You coming home is enough.”

He rolls his eyes and smiles. “Once you see what I got you, I’m sure you’re going to forget about me.

I playfully glare at him. “You know that would never happen.”

A chuckle leaves his lips as he leans closer to the screen, resting his arms on the table in front of him. I watch him curiously as he just stares at me with a soft smile on his face.

“What?” I ask, a quiet giggle escaping from me.

The smile remains on his face as he shakes his head. “Nothing. I’m just really excited to see you next Thursday. I missed you so much.”

Him and the boys have their Dublin show on Thursday night and then they’re flying straight here to Manchester right afterwards.

“I know.” I smile. “You only told me a hundred times every day. But it’s okay because I miss you even more.”

Nope, I do.”

I roll my eyes. “We’re not doing this again,” I laugh.

Harry and I have done this too many times. We always argue over who misses the other more. We literally go on and on until one of us eventually gives up. He won a few times but only because I was about to go to sleep and we went back and forth until I fell asleep.

You giving up already, babe?” he smirks.

“Oh, shut it. You’re just going to wait until I fall asleep again and then brag about it for days.”

He shoots me a toothy grin and I kept help but smile back.

That’s because it’s true. I do miss you more.”

“Anyways,” I say, changing the subject. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

He raises his eyebrows in curiousity. “What is it?

“Um…” I bite my lip in nervousness and I start fidgeting with my fingers in my lap. I take a deep breath and look back up at him. “You can totally say ‘no’ and I’ll completely understand and I won’t get upset but…I was wondering if maybe…you wanted to write a song with me?”

I end my sentence sounding like a question even though I didn’t intend to. Of course I’m worried about his answer. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’ve written a couple of songs since I came back from Peru but I always wonder what it would be like to write a song with Harry. I always wonder what we would write about.

However, as I watch in his eyebrows furrow in confusion, I can feel my heartbeat quicken as my anxiety flies through the roof.

Of course he’s going to say ‘no’. He has better things to do.

I don’t even know why I even bothered to ask. If he wanted to write a song with me, he--

I would love to.”

I snap my head to look back at him, shock most likely present on my features.

“Really?” I ask nervously, a smile growing across my face.

He smiles and nods. “Of course. Why would you think I wouldn’t? Remember when you visited me in London for Niall’s birthday and you told me about you going into the studio to record your songs? Remember me suggesting that we write a song together? I would love nothing more than to write one with you.”

“Really?” I ask again.

I mean, of course I remember. I was just worried that he wasn’t completely serious about it. But now, I know he is.

Yes, really,” he chuckles. “I mean, I have to talk to management but I’m sure it’ll be fine. When did you want to start?

I shrug. “How about right now? I mean, unless you’re busy.”

He shakes his head. “Yeah, let’s do it. How are we going to do this? We’ll do this your way.”

My smile is plastered on my face, excitement completely taking over my entire body.

“Well, I kinda already have the music. I can play it for you so you can get the tone of how the song will be.”

He nods. “Yeah, sure. Let’s hear it.”

I quickly hop off of my bed to get my guitar before I go back to my spot in front of my laptop. I place the guitar across my lap and adjust the screen so Harry can see me better.

“Okay, so…let me know what think.”

He just smiles and nods, getting into a more comfortable position as he leans in closer again.

I look down at my guitar, strumming a couple of times to make sure it’s tuned before I take a deep breath. I start strumming the tune that I’ve been playing around with for the past couple of weeks. It was just yesterday that I was finally satisfied with it. All it needs now are words to complete the story.

Occasionally, I hum the melody that I had in mind that would go with the music. I play the entire song through and when it’s done, I slowly look back up at Harry. I wait nervously for his reaction but when I see his eyes widen and a smile spreading across his face, I breathe a sigh of relief and I smile back at him.

Wow…that was…I love it. We could do so much with that song. I mean, even just the guitar, you can feel something from it. It’s…it’s amazing.”

My smile widens and I blush slightly.

The music is just as important as the lyrics so of course I was worried about whether he would like it.

“Thank you,” I say softly.

He smiles. “So, what next?

I clear my throat and take a deep breath. “Well, I actually have the chorus kind of written, as well as the first verse. I can play it for you and you can tell me what you think. I was also thinking that you could write the second verse and then we can work on the hook together. I was thinking it could be a duet.”

His eyes brighten and so does his smile. “Yeah, sure. That’s a great idea. Let's hear what you have so far.

“One thing though, I want you to be completely honest with me, okay? This is our song so I want you to be comfortable telling me if you don’t like anything or if you want to change anything. Okay?”

He nods. “I completely understand. Let’s hear it.”

I take another deep breath and nod. I grab my journal from my side table and open it up to the page with the song that I started. I place it on the bed in front of me and I take one more look at Harry, seeing him give me a reassuring nod and a soft smile.

I return his smile before I focus back on my guitar. I play the tune again but this time, I sing the lyrics that I have so far. I sing the first verse, as well as the chorus. I hum for the second verse, letting Harry get an idea for what I had in mind. I hum the hook, as well before I sing the chorus one last time.

When I finish, I look up at Harry and see he already has a smile on his face.

“What do you think?”

He remains silent for a few seconds before he takes a deep breath. “I love it. I really do. Where did the inspiration for the lyrics come from?

I shrug. “I was just thinking about our entire relationship, really. What we’ve gone through and how far we’ve come. It’s mostly about the beginning of our relationship, when we met and when we first started going out and what all of that meant for the both of us. You can write whatever you want for the second verse. It’s totally up to you. And take your time with it. I don’t need it to be finished any time soon.”

I have no idea what I want us to do with the song when it’s finished. I may just keep it between the two of us or I may even want to record it in the studio. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to. Since Harry’s writing it with me, I’m not sure what that means in regards of the legal stuff. More importantly, I’m not sure what his management will think about Harry recording a duet with me. I mean, I wouldn’t mind writing a song with the other boys, as well, but I’ve always wanted to write one with Harry.

I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes. All we need to focus on for now is finishing the song.

I will definitely start working on it. I’m excited. I already have a couple of things in mind.

I smile and nod as I place the guitar on the bed beside me.

“I can’t wait to hear it. I know it’ll be great.”

I know that Harry’s a wonderful songwriter. He’s shown me some of the songs he’s written, songs that he’s kept to himself, songs he’s written for other artists, songs he’s written that he’s recorded with the boys and ones that he’s hoping to record in the studio for their next album.

They’re all amazing. It gave me a deeper understanding of what goes through his mind and how it words in terms of writing a song. It really is inspiring.

I look at the time and see that it’s almost midnight.

“Babe, I should head to bed soon,” I pout.

Even though it’s a Friday night, I’m planning on waking up early to study for my exams. I have three in the span on one week so I know that I need to use my time wisely. As much as I want to talk to Harry all day, I know that I need to focus on school.

He copies my pout. “Okay. I don’t know what I’m going to do for the rest of the night now.”

My frown turns into a smile. “I’m sure you’ll think of something. Hang out with the other boys or something.”

He sighs. “Yeah.”

Suddenly, his face brightens and he smiles. “Or I could just start writing my part for the song. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

My smile widens as I watch his excitement for the song. It just makes it all more special that he’s into it.

“That’ll work, too.” I sigh. “I can’t wait for this week to be over. I want my exams to be over and I want to see you already.”

Me, too. It’ll be over soon. Don’t worry. I don’t want to bother you so text or call me when you’re not busy.”

I smile. “I definitely will. I’ll go crazy if I study all day. And I know that talking to you will de-stress me so I will definitely be calling you.”

Good. Now, off to bed. My baby needs her sleep.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head, a smile pointed to Harry.

“I wish you were here, though. I know I’d fall asleep a lot faster.”

Me, too, baby. Even though Marshmallow wearing your shirt helps a bit, it’s still not the same.”

“Same here.” I look down at Harry’s sweater that I’m wearing, tugging on the bottom and pulling it out slightly. It’s the middle of October now. The weather’s getting a bit chillier and I find myself sleeping with his sweater most nights. The only nights I’m not wearing it is when it’s in the laundry.

“Soon.” I lean back, resting against the pile of pillows behind me. “Soon, you’ll be right here beside me and we’ll have the night all to ourselves.”

He raises an eyebrow at me and smirks. “Oh, you’re gonna do this again, huh?

I smile as I think about all the times that we tease each other, especially when we Skype. Of course we get sexually frustrated sometimes. It was slightly awkward to talk about but we promised each other that we wouldn’t “relieve” ourselves while we’re apart. We discussed how controlling ourselves and waiting will just make our reunion so much better.

Of course I can’t help but fantasize about what will happen when he’s finally here and we’re locked up in my room. I bite my lip as I think about ripped clothes, furious kissing and sweaty bodies. I stop myself before I go too far, especially when I see that Harry’s looking back at me with lust and desire.

I clear my throat as I sit back up.

“Nope,” I squeak. “Anyways, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Text me when you wake up.”

His smirk widens. “Will do. Have a good night.”

“Good night.”

Sweet dreams, baby. I love you.”

I bite my lip as I blush. “I love you, Harry.”

Just put the laptop beside you. Keep it on. I’ll just be writing and you can sleep.”

My smile widens. “Okay.”

I slide under the covers before I place my laptop beside me. I lay down on my side, facing the screen. I adjust myself until I’m comfortable and soon enough, my eyelids are already starting to droop. I watch as Harry smiles at me before I see him take his journal and open it.

Good night.”

“Good night, Harry.”

He gives me one more smile before he looks down at his book. He concentrates on what he’s doing, seeing him fluidly writing and occasionally scratching lines along the pages. I’ve only caught Harry writing on a few occasions but when I do, I’m always in awe. He’s just so focused and in his own world.

I fight against sleep for a while but, eventually, I lose the battle. I’m not complaining since Harry’s the last thing I see before I go into a peaceful sleep and even have the luck of him being in my dream.

 

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Again, I'm sorry if you don't like the leap forward in time for the story. I just want to continue with what I have planned for the next major part.

So, please let me know what you think! 40 votes and 15 comments! Thanks for reading <3

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