Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


70. Moving In

Lily’s POV

I’m still in shock, my hand slowly moving up to cover my mouth.

Harry grins at me, waiting for me to say something.

“Harry?” I whisper, taking my hand off of my mouth.

His smile widens and before I know it, I step forward and wrap my arms around his neck, his arms snaking around my waist soon after. I don’t know why but tears are building up as I hold him tighter, as I take in his cologne.

We pull away slightly, enough so we’re able to look at each other. I can see him look down, most definitely at the ring because I see his smile widen and his eyes light up.

It seems like what happened at the train station is being forgotten right now, like I hadn’t broken his heart. He’s here.

He looks amazing as always but he best feature on him right now is the shy smile on his face.

I have no idea why he’s here but I’m not complaining. He must’ve figured out that I read his letter.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” I laugh. I wipe my tears with one of my hands and return them to rest on his arm. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to surprise you. Thought we could celebrate yours and El’s new flat. I brought some housewarming gifts.” He lifts a couple of gift bags off of the ground and holds it up.

Maybe it’s not the letter…

But why is he acting so normal right now? Shouldn’t he hate me right now for what I did to him at the train station?

Before I can ask him about it, Louis and Eleanor appear from the hallway and I reluctantly pull away so they can hug Harry.

“Thanks for coming, Harry,” Eleanor says as she pulls away. “We need more muscle.”

Louis gasps. “Am I not enough muscle for you?”

All of us laugh but I keep my eyes on Harry. He looks up at me and I start to fidget in my spot.

“You guys knew this whole time and didn’t tell me?” I ask sarcastically. They were good, especially El when she asked me if Harry called me back.

Louis holds his hands up in front of him. “Hey, he wanted to surprise you. And he said he was going to dye my hair neon pink if I told you.”

I laugh and shake my head at them.

“So, what do you guys need help with?” Harry asks as Louis closes the door.

“Well, the movers should be here soon with the beds and the furniture so I guess you can just help us unpack our things,” Eleanor says. She looks over at me and gives me a pointed look and subtly nudges her head towards an oblivious Harry.

“Oh, right. Um…did…did you want to help me unpack?” I ask Harry.

He gives me a polite smile and nods. “Yeah, sure.”

I turn around and lead us back to our rooms. I guess it’ll be a good opportunity to talk to him, firstly about why he’s here, and also talk to him about the letter. Of course I’m nervous. I was nervous enough when I thought that I had to talk to him about the letter on the phone but now he’s here and I’m even more stressed.

“Here, El, this is for you,” Harry said, handing her one of the two bags.

“Thanks, Haz.” Her and Louis go into her room and Harry follows me into mine. I turn to face him and see him looking around my new room.

“I’m just hanging up my clothes. You can just make yourself comfortable while we wait for the furniture and beds.”

“That’s alright. I can help. Unless you don’t want me messing up your closet,” he grins.

I laugh. “You’re a bigger neat freak than me, Harry. I would really appreciate your help if it’s not too much trouble.”

Why am I so nervous around him?

“Before we do that, I have something to give you.” He lifts up the bag in his hand and holds it out to me. “I think it’d be a good addition to your closet.”

I look at him in confusion and apprehension as I take the bag. I open it and when I pull out the first item, I gasp. I look inside and sure enough, the others are there as well.

He clears his throat. “Ed gave them to me and…and he told me you wanted to give it back to me but then he told me that you seemed to want it. I…I thought so, too, so I decided to bring it.”

I take all three of Harry’s clothes, his jacket, his sweater and his shirt and pull it closer to me, letting the bag drop on the floor.

Of course Ed would realize that I wanted it. He knows me so well. I love him.

“I mean, I know you left it for a reason but I…I guess that was before you read the letter. If-if you don’t want them, you don't have to-I mean, I can take them…you kno--”

“Thank you, Harry. I…I want them. I really do.”

His smile widens and I see a hint of a blush on his cheeks as he nervously scratches the back of his neck.

“I mean, these are your clothes, so I totally understand if you want them back.”

Of course I was just being polite but I really hope he doesn’t want them back.

“No, no. I don’t mind. Like I said…they look better on you anyways.”

Now it’s my turn to blush as I look down at the ground. I remember when he said that to me every time he saw me wearing his clothes and when I offered to give them back to him.

It’s just like his ring.

“Thank you, Harry.” He watches me as I hang them in my closet. I wish I could wear his sweater right now but I know I should wait until we talk.

He starts to help me hang my other clothes.

“So is that why you wouldn’t answer my calls last night and this morning?” I ask, smiling at him.

He chuckles. “Yeah, after you didn’t answer me yesterday, I knew I had to talk to you. I thought that you were upset with Ivana answering and that you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Well, anyways, Louis told me he was leaving today so I decided to go with him so I could talk to you and explain in person. I wanted to surprise you so I didn’t answer your calls. I knew I’d ruin the surprise if I had talked to you last night.”

“You could never ruin a surprise, Harry? Do you remember how good you were at keeping them from me?”

He laughs. “Yeah, that’s true. But I still wanted to surprise you as best as I could today.”

“Well, you definitely surprised me. And I’m sorry for not answering your calls yesterday. I was out all day with my mum getting pampered. I was only able to call you back when I got home.”

“That’s alright. I kind of assumed you were busy. It was very hard not to answer your call when you did. Look…about Ivana…and the letter--”

“Harry,” I say, interrupting him. Both of us stop what were doing and face each other. “I…I was hoping we could talk about all of that later.” I clear my throat and look down at the ground. “Maybe…maybe we can go for dinner or something. I mean, just as friends…or-or whatever we are. Like, it’s not a date or anything, just…we’re just going to talk…over dinner and--”

He steps closer to me and I’m forced to look up at him.

“I would love that.”

I relax slightly as he gives me a warm smile. He grabs another shirt and starts to hang it up.

“We’re not going to argue over who’s paying, right? I’ll only go if you let me pay,” he says.

He turns around and I roll my eyes at him. “Well, then I guess I’m going to have a dinner for one while I talk to myself.”

Harry laughs and I smile at the sound.

“Lily, please,” he whines.

I cross my arms and look up at him. “Fine. This’ll be the last time.”

Actually, I don’t want it to be the last time. I want to keep doing this every time Harry and I go out on a date.

Wait. What am I saying?

I shake my head and continue to hang up my clothes.

“We’ll see about that,” he says from behind me. Thank goodness he can’t see the goofy smile on my face.

We finish hanging all of my clothes and we start to take out all of my things from the boxes. Right when we finish, someone knocks on the front door and we all go out into the hallway to see the movers with the beds and the furniture. They bring in the beds first and then they bring in the couches.

“A little more to the left,” Eleanor says. Harry and Louis lift the couch and move it to the left as El and I stand in front of it, deciding where it should go.

This goes on for the next hour, El and I telling Harry and Louis exactly where to put everything. And, being the true gentlemen they were, they didn’t complain once. However, when we finally have everything placed where we wanted them, the both of them crash on the couch.

“Thank you so much, babe,” Eleanor says to Louis as she sits down beside him and starts rubbing his back.

I clear my throat. “Yeah…um, thanks, guys.” I look over at Harry as I say this and he gives me a smile in return.

“Well, since we don’t have food yet, I guess we should go out to eat?” Eleanor asks. “Or we can order in?”

Harry and I look over at El. How am I supposed to explain to them that Harry and I are going to have dinner together to talk about the letter without making it seem like a date?

“Actually, if it’s okay with you two, Harry and I were planning on going for dinner. You…you guys can join us but we…um, we--”

“It’s alright, Lily. I understand,” Eleanor interrupts me, giving me a knowing look. “Lou and I will just go somewhere else and you two have a nice dinner.”

I just nod and smile before I look back at Harry.

“I'm just going to get ready. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” he replies.

I turn around and make my way back to my room. I notice that Eleanor followed me as she enters my room right after me.

“Did you need help getting ready for your date?”

My eyes widen and Eleanor laughs as I quickly go to close my door.

“It’s not a date,” I whisper-shout. “We’re…we’re just going to talk about the letter.”

She raises her eyebrows at me. “Alright, whatever you say.”

I just sigh as I go to my closet to pick out at outfit. How much should I dress for dinner? Like I said, it’s not a date. But I can’t dress too casual. I don’t even know where we’re eating.

Finally, I decide on dark blue leggings and a flowy top. I go into my bathroom to change before I go back to my room and start doing my makeup while Eleanor does my hair.

“Is Louis staying here for the night?” I ask her as I’m putting on mascara.

“Yeah. Both of them are.”

I look at her through the mirror and she stops to return my gaze.

“I mean, if that’s okay with you. He offered to stay at a hotel but I told him he’s more than welcome to stay here.”

I nod. “Yeah. I mean, of course it’s fine with me.”

Of course I’m okay with it. It would be incredibly rude to make him stay in a hotel under any circumstance.

She gives me a smile before she goes back to doing my hair. I put on my plain, black booties when I’m finally done and the both of us head back out to the living room. Harry immediately stands up when he sees us and I see his eyes widen slightly as his eyes sweep up and down my body.

“Are you ready?” I ask.


He nods. “Yeah.”




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