Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


120. Matching

Lily’s POV

“So, why didn’t you want your mum telling me that you already talked to her about Christmas?”

I absentmindedly brush my hand through the back of his hair as he drives. I’m still curious as to why he didn’t want me to know and the fact that he was embarrassed by it.

He sighs. “I just thought you would find it to be too much. You know…the fact that I was thinking about Christmas in September when we just got back together.”

“Harry,” I say, sympathy lacing my tone. “You never have to worry about things like that. Remember when I accidentally talked about our imaginary, future child a day after we got back together?”

Finally, I’m able to probe a smile out of him and I continue to rake my fingers through his hair.

“I forgot about that,” he chuckles. “I guess I wasn’t as bad as you.”

I playfully scowl at him and pinch his neck.

“Ow! Hey! I thought we had a rule not to injure the driver.”

I laugh before I resume tangling my fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“So, did you ask your mum before or after you asked me?”

I can see him grow nervous as he bites his lip.

He clears his throat. “Um…before. I, um…I wanted to ask for her opinion. I didn’t know if it was proper whether I should ask you to spend Christmas with us. I mean, I really wanted to, don’t get me wrong. I just didn’t want to ruin anything. I do remember you saying that you wanted to take it slow so I was hesitant about it.”

I know he was expecting me to be overwhelmed by it but I wasn’t. I was the opposite, actually. It was incredibly heartwarming knowing that he had gone to his mum about this. I know how much he respects his mum, especially when it comes to advice.

“Well, I’d say we’re doing a terrible job at taking things slow. But I don’t regret anything at all.”

I do remember saying that I wanted to take things slow but looks at us know. We’re together practically every second we can, we kiss like there’s no tomorrow, I visited him while he was on tour, we already feel comfortable changing in front of each other, we shower together. Hell, we’re adopting a puppy together. Those aren’t really things that people do who want to take things slow.

I give him a reassuring smile when he looks over at me as we’re stopped at a red light.

“You never have to worry about freaking me out whenever you talk about the future. Whether it’s a week, a month, even a year from now. I mean, I planned out our kid’s placemat, for god’s sake, so it’s not like you can do worse than that.”

“You’re very right about that. I’m going to use that against you every time now.”

I roll my eyes, just relieved that he’s not stressing about his mum telling me about Christmas anymore.

“I know you will,” I mutter.

Suddenly, I remember something else that I was planning on talking to him about, something that will wipe that smirk off his face.

“So, Louis told me a little something that you had told him about me.”

Like I expected, his face immediately falls, his smirk being replaced with apprehension.

“Wh…what did he say?”

“Well, the gist of it was how much you love me, how much you missed me on tour and…the part I loved the most…you telling him that you don’t know what you did to deserve an angel like me.”

I smile, watching his cheeks turn pink.

“That wanker. He wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

I laugh. “He also told me that you didn’t say anything about not telling me so he said it’s not his fault.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Trust him to weasel his way out of it. I’ll have to have a talk with him later.”

“Don’t be too harsh. I’m glad he told me. I’m not going to make fun at you for it. It honestly made my whole day when he told me that. No one’s ever said anything like that about me before.”

“Really? You mean Mark didn’t tell you things like that when you two were together?”

I roll my eyes and smack his chest with my other hand.

“No, he didn’t. Now can we stop talking about my ex? Unless you really want me to.”

He gives me playful glare, one that I return before we both burst out laughing. I take his hand into mine, my other hand still running through his hair.

“And just know that I’ve never said anything close to that to any other girl,” he says.

My heart swells in my chest as I gaze at him, watching the dimple deepen in his cheek.

“Really?” I say breathlessly.

He nods. “Yes, really. I’ve told you, I’ve never felt this way for anyone else. Not even close.”

I love this man so much. I thought it was impossible to love him even more but he manages to do that every day, for every single sweet thing he says and does to me.

I’m speechless. I really don’t know what to say. All I can manage to do is lean forward and rest my head against his shoulder, running my thumb along his knuckles.

“I love you, Harry. So much.”

He places a kiss on the top of my head and gives my hand a gentle squeeze.

“I love you more, baby.”

We sit like this in silence for the rest of the car ride until we finally arrive to his house. He parks in the garage beside his motorcycle and as soon as he turns off the car, I turn my head at the same time that he does, our lips connecting like they were drawn to each other, like we were both waiting for it.

The kiss is slow but still passionate, our hands grasping each other’s cheeks. It’s complete silence around us. The only sound I can hear is our intakes of breaths and the smacking of our lips.

All too soon, he pulls away but only a few inches, letting our noses brush against each other’s. He peppers feathery kisses on my lips, over and over again until I eventually lose count.

When we finally pull away, our gazes connect and serene smiles spread across our faces.

“I could never get tired of kissing you,” he says quietly. His eyes dart down to my lips and he slowly leans in again but this time, he gently takes my bottom lip in between his teeth and tugs slightly before letting it go.

My smile widens and I can’t take my eyes off of him. This day has been perfect and it’s not even done yet. Even though I’m excited to see everyone tonight, I wouldn’t mind just staying here his at home and spend all night with him.

“We should go get ready,” I say. I know that if we spend one more minute in this car, I won’t be able to stop thinking about my…certain fantasy. And with the air getting thicker with tension from the kisses and words exchanged, I know that it’ll be harder to resist temptation.

Harry nods but leans in slightly. “Just one more.”

He presses his lips against mine and my eyes immediately flutter shut as the kiss lingers. It only lasted a few seconds but it was enough to still make my heart pound.

We pull away with the sound of our lips disconnecting and before Harry can persuade me for another kiss, I sit up straight and smile at him.

His eyes follow my every move as I unbuckle my seatbelt and reach over to the back seat to grab my bag. I give him a toothy smile before I reach for the handle and open the door. I step out and close it behind me and as I make my way around the front of the car, I look inside and see Harry still inside.

I look at him with puzzlement, wondering what the hell he’s still doing there.

“Are you coming out or what?” I shout, smirking at him.

He seems to be in a daze as he shakes his head, giving me a sheepish grin as he finally reaches for his door. 

Enjoying this with slight amusement, I decide to have a little bit more fun. He steps out of the car, closing it behind him and I watch as he walks over to the door leading inside the house and unlocks it.

We both step in and as he’s turning off the alarm system, I drop my bags onto the floor and run up the stairs. I laugh as I look over my shoulder and see Harry turning his head and looking around before his eyes find me.

“Hey! Where are you going?” he shouts in amusement.

The last thing I see is Harry grinning and taking a step towards the stairs before I look ahead of me. I look around for the perfect hiding spot and I choose the guest room at the end of the hall. I quietly run inside and look around frantically until I decide to hide under the bed. I move back as far as I can go and I keep my eyes at the door beside the bed, waiting for Harry to appear.

“Lily! Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

I hear him searching every room, his footsteps thumping around and doors being opened and closed. His footsteps get louder and he gets closer and closer to this room and I have to cover my mouth to hold back my laughs threatening to come out.

I gasp quietly when I see his feet appear at the door and then he walks around the room. He searches inside the closet and I almost burst out in laughter when I see him actually looking behind the curtains.

However, I quickly stop myself when I see his feet come closer, right up to the bed. I can hear him ripping off the blanket and throwing pillows around. He heads back out the door but I accidentally let out a quiet giggle but it’s loud enough to make him stop in his tracks.

I knew as I caught even before he walks back over to the bed and goes down on his knees, his face appearing shortly after.

He grins at me as I finally start laughing out loud. I shriek when he reaches his hand out, trying to grab my hand but I pull away just in time.

“Get over here!” he laughs as he lies down on his stomach and reaches for me again. I had thought that he’s going to reach for my hand again but he goes for my ankle. I don’t have time to pull it away so he grips around it and tugs me towards him.

I shriek as he pulls me out in one fluid motion and I roll over to my back, laughing as I see him grinning down at me.

I don't even try to get away, partly because he’s resting half of his body on top of me now. I rest my hands on his chest, watching as his face is slowly softening as the seconds pass, just like mine is.

“What happened to you in the car?” I ask, still slightly breathless.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion but it only takes him a second to realize what I meant, as his face softens once again.

A hint of a grin tugs at his lips but it quickly disappears. He takes his hand and grazes the back of his fingers down my cheek and along my jawline, making shivers run down my spine.

“Well, kissing you in that car just reminded me of a little something.”

My eyes widen slightly and I swallow harshly.

“Something that has to do with you and me…hanging some paintings on the walls,” he says.

A smirk spreads across his face but I can’t help but roll my eyes and burst out in laughter at him using our new little code word for sex.

“Are you seriously going to say that every time we do it now?”

He raises his eyebrows, one side of his mouth tugging up. “Alright. Isn’t it your little fantasy to have mind-blowing sex in my car?”

I gasp as I furrow my eyebrows at him. I shove him but he doesn’t move. He just laughs at me as I try to hide my embarrassment with anger.

So I guess I wasn’t the only one that was thinking about it while we were in the car. He was, too.

It was when he had bitten my lip that I knew that I had to get out of there. As much as I wanted to fulfill my fantasy, I knew that we didn’t have time. Harry’s hosting the party so it’s only customary that he be there before everyone else.

“Yes, but unfortunately, we don’t have the time,” I say as I swipe my finger down the length of his nose.

He playfully glares at me. “Who says we don’t?”

“I do. You have a party to host tonight. Remember?”

“Screw the party.”

I laugh. “Harry. We have all day tomorrow. Don’t worry your pretty little face.”

He groans. “I promise we won’t take that long.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Really? You?”

Knowing Harry and how he is during intimate moments, I know for sure that he definitely will take long.

He rolls his eyes and then pouts.

“Plus, I don’t wanna have to shower again,” I add. “I definitely won’t have time to get ready.”

“Fine,” he grumbles. “Can I at least have a kiss?”

I smile and give him a shrug. “I guess.”

I laugh as he leans down and presses his lips on mine, immediately shutting me up. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me as his hands glides down my stomach and waist.

The kiss deepens, Harry’s tongue darting into my mouth. A moan escapes from my throat when his fingers dig into my skin.

I’m one second away from ripping his shirt off, so, reluctantly, I gently push him away.

Our harsh breaths mix together as he rests his forehead against mine and I know that he’s attempting to calm himself down, just like I am.

I hum lowly until Harry lifts his head and we both open our eyes and gaze at each other.

“I guess we can get ready now,” he says.

I smile as he pushes himself up, standing up before holding his hand out to help me up. I fix my sweater, following Harry out of the room and towards his.

I see my bag at the door and Harry picks it up and brings it into his room.

“Thank you for bringing my bag up.”

I take it from him and lean up and give him a quick kiss.

“Anything for you.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help my smile from widening. As he goes to the bathroom, I take out my dress from my bag and place it on the bed, thankful that it didn’t wrinkle.

I take off my sweater and then my jeans, folding them and placing them beside my dress. I take off my bra, deciding to go without them tonight since my dress is backless. I pick up my dress and slip it on. I stand in front of the floor-length mirror and fix it until it’s perfect. It’s a little black dress, one thin piece of string holding the front of the dress halter-style around my neck with the neckline reaching the bottom of my sternum. I turn to look at the back of the dress. My back is bare down to my lower back and the rest of the dress reaches mid-thigh.

I know that it’s a risky dress but it’s a private party so there won’t be random people taking pictures of me. Plus, I know that Harry will like it.

“Holy f.uck.”

I snap my head over to see Harry grazing his eyes up and down my body, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.

I turn so I’m fully facing him and automatically go to smooth my dress.

“Do you like it?”

He gulps and then nods. “’Like it’? I f.ucking love it. You look amazing.”

He starts to make his way to me, his gaze moving down my body again.

“Thank you,” I say quietly.

He shakes his head and places his hands on my waist. “No, thank you. I’d make you change cause of the fact that every guy at the party will be staring at my girlfriend but…I like it too much. Plus, I’m the only one that gets to touch you so you can definitely wear this.”

I roll my eyes in amusement. “Well, thank you for allowing me permission to wear this dress.”

Reluctantly, I pull away and walk over to my bag to take out my zip-up sweater. I put it on so I can put on makeup and do my hair without worrying about ruining my dress. When I turn around, I see Harry leaning against the dresser, his arms crossed as he watches me with a glint in his eyes.

“Even with that sweater, I can still picture you in that dress.”

I laugh as I take my makeup bag and stand in front of the mirror.

“Go and change already,” I say. “I’m going to finish before you do.”

I take out all my makeup and pick up my foundation when I see Harry appear in the mirror behind me.

“Make me,” he teases, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing body against mine.

With all my self-control, I don’t allow his touch get to me. I keep my focus on applying my makeup. I can feel his burning gaze on my skin and I force myself to avoid it. I can sense his amusement, especially as he places his lips on the back of my neck.

I bite the inside of my lip and quickly look down, hiding my face from him. I struggle to find my eye shadow, a moan threatening to come out when he nips at my skin.

“Harry,” I breathe. “Stop. We…we need to get ready. We’re going to be late.”

Getting the complete opposite reaction from him, he only sucks on my skin harder and tightens his arms around me.

His mouth moves to the base of my jaw and, unable to resist any longer, I lean my head back against his shoulder, giving him more access to my neck. My eyes flutter and I take my bottom lip in between my teeth when he sucks the skin into his mouth and bites down before swiping his tongue against it.

He continues to suck, bite and lick until the skin feels raw and when he pulls away with a smack of his lips, I can feel the skin tingling.

I struggle to open my eyes, but when I do, I glance at myself in the mirror and see the angry love bite marking my skin. It’s bright red and the size of a golf ball, completely standing out from my fair skin.

“Don’t you dare cover that up tonight,” he rasps.

I was already worrying about how much makeup I’d need to use to cover it up. I know it’s only going to get darker and darker throughout the night until it bruises into a dark purple and even with the dim lighting at the party, I know that anyone would still be able to see it.

I know that the main reason he’s marked me is because of what he had stated before, about guys at the party looking at me in my new dress.

I know that no matter how much I try to convince him, I know he’s still worked up about that fact, even with his knowledge of my dress and everything underneath it being for him and only him.

I’m about to protest and explain this to him, knowing that I’d be self-conscious with the love bite at the party but when my eyes meets his in the reflection, my breath catches in my throat at the intensity of his gaze.

Therefore, all I can do is nod and obey his command. However, I’m all about fairness, especially when it comes to things like this. So, I turn around in his arms and place mine loosely around his shoulders.

His gaze stares down at mine, still as intense as before.

“I’ll wear it proudly but it’s only fair that every girl at that party knows that you’re mine.”

No matter what, girls will always be staring at him. It’s inevitable. Even when we’re walking around in public, all eyes are on him. Of course it bothers me sometimes, but then I just remind myself of what he had told me before.

Girls may be looking at him but he’s looking only at me.

That doesn’t mean that I can’t let them know that he’s taken.

Without waiting for his reply, I lean up and place my lips at the base of his throat, right over his collarbone and bird tattoo. I can feel the vibrations in his throat as he groans. I suck, bite and lick, just like he had torturously done to me.

I decide to take it to the next level and move my lips an inch to the left, repeating the process until the love bite is now double in size. As much as I wanted to taste more of his skin, I pull away and leave one soft skin on the mark.

I lean away so I can take a better look at it and I smile in triumph when I see that it’s even more prominent than the one he had given me.

“Always have to beat me at everything, don’t you?” he chuckles lowly, glancing at the mirror.

“You know it.” I grin at him before I take a deep breath. “Okay, you need to get ready. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gives me a salute and a quick kiss before he pulls away and heads to his closet.

I take a calming breath, my skin still tingling from his touch. I turn around, starting on my makeup once again.

I apply eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and then a dark purple lipstick onto my lips. I go back to my bag and grab my hair curler and plug it in. As I’m waiting for it to heat up, I see Harry walking to the bathroom, most likely to do his hair.

I curl my hair in loose waves and apply some hair spray just as Harry steps out of the bathroom looking better than ever.

He’s wearing a black suit jacket with a black dress shirt underneath, of course only halfway buttoned up, along with black skinny jeans, finishing the outfit with his tan boots. His hair is perfect like always, shiny and soft.

He looks up at me and smirks when he sees me gawking at him. I didn’t even realize my jaw had dropped slightly. I quickly shut it before I look away with a little shake of my head. I walk back to my bag and take out my black heels, sitting on the end of the bed to put them on.

I stand up and unzip my sweater, carefully taking it off and placing it on the bed. I walk back to the mirror to give myself a lookover, making sure everything’s how it should be. I fix my hair and smooth out my dress just as Harry appears behind me once again.

This time he stands beside me and wraps an arm around my waist.

“We’re matching,” he says with a smile.

I look between the both of us and realize that we are indeed matching. A bit too much. Not that I’m complaining.

Our curly hair and our black outfits make it seem like it was planned.


I turn to look up at him and smile. “Did you purposely pick this outfit because of what I’m wearing?”

He grins and shrugs. “Maybe.”

I hum. “Well, whether you did or not, I’d say we look great.”

My eyes dart down to the hickey that has already darkened slightly and I smirk when I realize that, with his half-opened shirt, it’s in complete view, just how I wanted it.

“Do you mind if I take a picture and post it?” I ask.

He nods. “Of course. Here, I’ll take it.”

He takes out his phone and I turn my body towards him, his hand resting on the bottom of my exposed back. I place my hand on his bare chest as he holds out his phone in front of us. He takes a few pictures of us on the reflection before he switches to the front camera.

I lean closer to him before he takes the picture and then he leans down and places his lips on mine, knowing for sure that he’s taking more pictures.

We pull away and he immediately looks at photos.

“I’ll send them to you.”

I nod before I go back to my bag and take my perfume, spraying it on myself. I put my lipstick, my ID and some cash into my small clutch. My phone goes off and I look at it and see the pictures that Harry sent to me.

I grab it and sit on the edge of the bed, opening my phone and going through the pictures. I pick one of the mirror pictures before I go to Instagram, edit the picture, tag Harry to it and post it with the caption: “The couple the dresses together, stays and slays together #allblackeverything #helooksbetterthanido #partytime”.

I immediately start getting likes and comments but I decide to read them later, knowing that we need to leave soon.

“Are you kidding? We both know that you look better than I do,” Harry says, looking down at his phone.

I laugh as I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

“Not true,” I retort.

“We could argue about this all night, baby, and I know I’d win.”

“Okay, sure,” I say with sarcasm.

He may think that I look better but the rest of the world and I know that he looks good no matter what he’s wearing. He pulls everything off and he doesn’t even have to try.

Me? I have to put on makeup and put on the nicest dress I have to look half as good as he does on a normal day.

But it still flatters me when Harry says otherwise.

“You ready to go?” he asks, putting his phone away.

I nod. “Mhm.”

I pull away to put my phone into my clutch, closing it as I walk back to Harry. He takes my hand and leads the way out of his room and down the stairs.

“As excited as I am for this party, I can’t wait for it to be over so I can have you all to myself again,” he says as we go out into the garage.

I laugh. “Harry, it hasn’t even started yet and you’re already wanting it to be over.”


“And I’m telling you that you better be a good host tonight and socialize with everyone at the party.”

“I will. I will. With you right beside me, of course.”

I smile as he opens my door for me. Before I hop in, I stand right in front of him and place my hands on his waist.

“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I lean up and kiss him gently, not wanting to smudge my lipstick onto his lips.

“Let’s go?” he asks.

I nod and give him a smile. “Let’s go.”    


PARTY TIME! Drama time?

Hehe maaaaaaaybe ;)

Please vote and comment! Let me know what you thought of this chapter, as well as what you think is going to happen next!

40 votes and 15 comments! :) And thank you for the lovely comments in the previous chapter <3

Thanks for reading! Love you guys :)

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