Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.

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85. Interview

Lily’s POV

“He’s mad at me. I know it.”

I pace back and forth in my room as Ed sits on my bed with my guitar, his head following my movements.

“He’s not mad at you. Stop freaking out.”

“He is. He hasn’t replied to my text and he usually texts me first thing in the morning anyways. He’s mad at me.”

I had informed Ed about what had happened last night about forgetting to text Harry. I couldn’t sleep last night. I was tossing and turning, thinking about Harry. When the sun came up, I was waiting for the usual ‘good morning’ text from him but none came. I had decided to text him first but he still hasn’t replied and it’s already early in the evening.

Of course I’m getting worried now. Not even worried, I’m freaking stressing out. I understand that I shouldn’t have made him wait last night but he shouldn’t be ignoring me, if that’s what he’s doing.

“He’s probably just busy. Their album comes out today, right? He’s probably just busy with that. I’m sure he’s not mad at you.”

He’s right. I mean, I hope so. Their album does come out today so maybe he’s working right now.

“Should I text him again? Should I call him? Maybe he didn’t hear my text.”

“Lily. Calm the f*ck down. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Just wait for him to reply or call you.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Don’t tell me to calm down. Harry and I just got back together. I don’t want to mess this up again. It’s my fault that I lost track of time last night and it’s my fault that I didn’t text him that I would be back late. It’s my fault that I--”

*Ring* *Ring*

My heart skips a beat as I see my phone light up on my bed. I rush to it and dive onto my bed before I grab my phone. Ed looks at me like I’ve gone insane as I look at the caller ID.

I answer it right away and put my phone up to my ear.

“Harry?” I breathe.

“Hey.”

I breathe a sigh of relief as I close my eyes and sit up straight. Even though I’m glad to hear his voice, I can’t miss the monotonous tone of his greeting.

“Harry, I’m so sorry for last night. I-I lost track of time and…and it slipped my mind. I really am--”

It’s okay, Lily.

I freeze in my spot, uncertain about how to react. I don’t know how Harry’s feeling right now. I can’t tell through the phone. Here I was, ready to spew out the entire speech I made to apologize to him about last night and he just stops me and tells me it’s okay.

I should feel relieved that he doesn’t seem bothered by it and that he’s fine with it but, at the same time, I can’t help but feel unsettled by his passiveness.

“Are…are you sure? You seemed…upset from your text,” I mutter. Nervousness washes over me as I bring up the text. And the fact that Ed is watching me makes it even worse.

I wasn’t. I was just tired and I had to wake up early.

I wait a couple of seconds, thinking he’s going to elaborate more but all I hear is silence.

“Oh…okay. So you’re not upset? I mean, I felt really bad for making you wait.”

Silence.

“Harry?”

He clears his throat. “It’s okay. I wasn’t waiting. I was taking care of other things before I went to bed. It’s not a big deal.

I can’t help but feel a little bit hurt. His tone seemed so bitter and indifferent. The way he said ‘he wasn’t waiting’ was said with so much bitterness that, even with his reassurance that he was fine with it, I couldn’t help but feel otherwise.

“Alright.” I don’t know if I should let it go. I want to talk to him more about it. I want to make sure that he really is okay with it. I don’t want this to hang in the air between us. I feel like we didn’t resolve the issue. I know it’s an issue. With Harry’s text last night, with him not texting me this morning and not replying to my text, it definitely is.

Should I let it go?

Maybe I should talk about something else and then bring it up again.

“So, I can’t wait to hear your--”

Where did Ed sleep last night?

I’m taken aback by his sudden question. It takes me a few seconds to really take it in. I don’t even know if he’s actually serious about his question.

“What?”

Where did Ed sleep last night?

I glance over at Ed and see him looking at me with confusion.

His question still leaves me stunned.

“Um, he slept on my bed.”

I hear him scoff and then laugh, but it was humourless. “Of course.

Okay, now I’m annoyed. “What’s your problem?”

Ed must realize how this conversation is going because his eyebrows raise and he quickly gets out of bed and leaves my room.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

“Of course there’s a problem. You’ve been acting like an arsehole since last night.”

How am I the arsehole? I was the one that was waiting until two in the morning for you, for any message from you but I obviously wasn’t important enough to remember while you were out with Ed.

“You said you weren’t waiting for me.”

Yeah, well obviously I just said that because I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Well, we’re talking about it now and I was trying to apologize about it before but you said it was fine. And I’m sorry for wanting to spend time with my best friend who I haven’t seen in two weeks.”

I’m perfectly fine with you spending time with him, I just wish you had given me the decency to tell me that you would be out all night so I didn’t have to wait by my phone like an idiot. You two were probably sleeping on the same bed while I was waiting for you.

“Are you seriously bringing this up again? Ed and I are best friends. He’s like a brother to me. We’ve been sleeping on the same bed since we were kids. I wasn’t going to make him sleep on the couch.”

So if I had one of my best friends over, a girl, you would be fine if we slept on the same bed?

Wow.

“Well, if you two were just friends and you weren’t doing it just to spite me then yeah, I would be perfectly fine with it. I would also be fine with it because I trust you.”

I emphasized ‘trust’, making it clear that I was pointing it towards him. I know I’ve gotten through to him since all I can hear is silence.

“Look, Harry, I really am sorry for making you wait. You honestly have no idea how horrible I felt, especially after I read your text. I could barely sleep last night. And I’ve been freaking out all day when you didn’t text me or reply to my text. I don’t know what you want from me. I try to apologize and you say it’s fine. But then you say that you actually aren’t and you make me feel even worse about it.”

More silence. He’s obviously not letting this go or at least trying to resolve this like I’m trying to.

“I was so excited to talk to you today. I was excited to listen to your album with you, too. But you know what? If you’re going to act like this and basically insult my friendship with Ed, then I don’t really feel like it anymore. You can call that friend of yours and listen to it while you lie in your bed together.”

With that, I hang up and throw my phone across the bed. I fall back onto the pillows and close my eyes. I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. But it doesn’t work. If anything, I just get more worked up as I recall the entire conversation.

This is not how I wanted this to go. I wanted to apologize and have him forgive me. I wanted to move past it and focus on being able to listen to the new album with him.

I know I may be overreacting a bit but he was being so childish about it. He brought up the whole Ed thing, something that I thought we finally got over. And then he has the audacity to ask me if I would be fine with it if he was doing the same thing with another girl.

Ed and I have known each other since we were little kids. I’ve reassured Harry many times that Ed and I are just friends and there will never ever be anything more.

The fact that Harry would throw it in my face saying that he would do the same thing and asking me if it would be fine, it aggravates me.

I hear my phone ring and I actually grab it, not knowing why I’m bothering answering his call. He better be calling to apologize. Then we can move past this stupid fight. I really do hate it when we fight but if Harry’s being a prick about it, I’m not going to easily give in.

“What?” I snarl.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?”

My eyebrows scrunch in confusion as I pull the phone away to look at the caller ID.

Marcus.

I put my phone back to my ear and sigh. “I’m sorry, Marcus. I thought you were someone else.”

“Well, let’s just say I don’t envy the person who you were expecting.”

I can’t fight back the small smile that spreads across my face, even with what just happened one minute ago.

“It’s nothing. So, anyways, what’s up?”

“Oh, right. I was just wondering what time you wanted to meet up tomorrow before our first class. It’s in the Schuster building so it’s by my dorm.”

School. Why are we talking about school?

Oh right, it’s tomorrow.

“I guess we can meet up at 8:45. We need to take our typical seats in the back of the class like usual.”

Marcus laughs on the other side of the phone. “Sounds good.”

Suddenly, a knock is heard on my door and I look up to see Ed peeking his head inside.

“The lads’ interview is on soon. Did you want to watch it with El and I?”

I almost forgot about that. Harry told me about it last night but, again, he managed to piss me off today.

I sigh. “Yeah, I’ll be right out.”

Ed closes the door behind him.

“Marcus, I have to go. I’ll text you tomorrow when I’m on my way.”

“Alright. See you.”

“Bye. “ I hang up and reluctantly get out of bed and trudge my way to the living room to join Ed and El on the couch.

“What happened?” Ed asks beside me.

I cross my arms and keep my eyes on the TV. “I don’t want to talk about it but basically, Harry was being an arse.”

“Ha, I was right,” El says on the other side of Ed. I look over at them and see her smirking and Ed rolling his eyes.

“What? You thought I was the one in the wrong?” I say to Ed.

His eyes widen at my sudden hostility and holds his hands up in front of him.

“No, no. I’m not.”

I just roll my eyes and turn my gaze back at the TV. I can only handle arguing with one person right now, I don’t need to start another one with Ed.

Gosh, I must be starting my period soon.

Period or not, Harry was still being an arse.

“Ooh, it’s starting!” El exclaims.

Sure enough, the guys appear on the screen, sitting together in front of the interviewer.

My eyes land on a certain one and I narrow my eyes at him.

Why does he have to be so cute? Even when I’m pissed at him, I still can’t help the flutter of the butterflies in my stomach as he smiles.

I’m still mad at him though. Even though he’s on the TV and this was technically shot yesterday, I still narrow my eyes at him.

“So, your album comes out today and your tour starts in a couple of weeks. But before we talk about those, I have some questions from the fans.”

All of them give the interviewer a smile and a nod.

The interviewer reads the cue cards in his hands. “If you could switch bodies with anyone else in the band, who would you switch with and what would you do?”

The guys all look at each other until Liam looks back at the interviewer.

“I would switch with Niall so I could listen to myself talk with an Irish accent all day. And also so I can play the guitar.”

Niall laughs his well-known laugh and Liam smiles back at him.

“How about you, Niall?” the interviewer asks.

“Uhh…” He looks between the other guys. “I would switch with Liam so I can see what it’s like to have a conversation with myself.”

“But you would technically be having a conversation with me because we would just be switching bodies,” Liam adds.

Niall shrugs, clearly not giving a shit that his answer doesn’t make sense.

“I would switch with Louis so I can see what it’s like to actually be good at football,” Zayn answers, sharing a smile with Louis.

“I would switch with Zayn so I can know what it feels like to have such beautiful hair,” Louis explains, glancing over and looking at Zayn’s hair. Zayn smiles and shakes his head.

I noticed that Zayn got a new haircut. It’s shaved at the sides and the top is pulled back into a manbun. It’s looks great on him.

“No one wants to switch with me?” Harry quips, furrowing his eyebrows and pouting.

F*ck you, Harry, and your cute face.

“I’d be scared to switch bodies with you. I’m scared that I’d get your hair stuck somewhere or I’d get mobbed by girls in my sleep,” Liam says.

Everyone except Harry laughs, even the three of us. Since Liam was sitting behind Harry, Harry decides to give him the finger behind his head.

“Well, I would switch with Liam so I could shave his head before I switch back to my own body.”

Again, everyone laughs and I try to hold back mine but it escapes from my lips. No matter how pissed I am at him, his charm always manages to get through to me. But I just remind myself that this is TV interview Harry. I’m pissed at the Harry that I was just on the phone with.

The interviewer laughs. “Alright. Next question. Which country are you most excited to visit during your tour?”

“I would say Brazil. I heard it’s beautiful there,” Liam answers.

“Yeah, me too,” Harry adds.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Barcelona. I heard they have great beaches,” Niall says.

“I’m gonna go with Colombia since we’ve never been there and it’s the first country we’re going to,” Zayn answers.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go with Colombia, too. I know it’s gonna be a great time there,” Louis adds.

The interviewer nods. “Alright. Last question before we talk about the album and bit more about the tour. I know you get this question a lot and I’m sure you’re sick of answering it. It was the most asked question on twitter so I thought it would be good to ask for the fans. Now, I know that Zayn, you’re engaged to the lovely Perrie from Little Mix.” Zayn nods in confirmation. “And Louis and Liam, you’re in a serious relationship, as well.” Liam and Louis nod at the interviewer, as well. “So that leaves Niall and Harry.”

I freeze in my seat and I can feel El and Ed looking at me. I keep my eyes glued on the TV, specifically on one person.

“Niall, are you in a relationship?”

All of them look over at Niall and he shakes his head. “Nope, not dating right now. Don’t really have time with the new album and the upcoming tour but if I meet the right girl, I’m not going to pass it up.”

The other boys nod in acceptance and so does the interviewer.

“Alright, now Harry, there have been rumours that you’ve been seeing someone. There are several pictures of you two out in public and the recent picture you posted on Instagram seems to confirm your relationship. Sources say that she’s actually Ed Sheeran’s close friend. Can you confirm that you two are together?”

Everyone focuses over at Harry as I hold my breath to wait for his answer.

Harry gives a lopsided smile and nods. “Yeah. Her name is Lily. We met through Ed in the beginning of summer.”

“How long have you two been together?”

Okay, now I’m uncomfortable and I can only imagine how Harry’s feeling. However, he manages to remain calm and collected as he maintains eye contact with the interviewer.

“It’s been on-and-off but we first started seeing each other about three months ago.”

I’m glad he’s being honest. I don’t even care that it might shed bad light to our relationship but I would rather people know the truth.

“And how are things now? You’ve never been the one to personally share your personal life, especially your love life, on social media, so it seemed to cause a stir with your fans. Are you two serious?”

I start to bite harshly on my lip as I continue to watch Harry. I notice that my hand had somehow ended up clutching Harry’s ring.

“Yeah, we are. I guess it’s safe to say that we’re serious enough where I feel comfortable sharing a little bit of my love life with my fans. And with anyone else, really. I really care about her.”

My heart flutters in my chest. I wasn’t expecting him to actually say that he loves me on national television. I know that that would be too much. But the things he said, it’s still incredibly sweet to me.

“And how is Ed handling it?” the interviewer chuckles.

“If he tells them that I punched him, I’m going to punch him again,” Ed says beside me.

I laugh and smack him on his stomach. “Shut up.”

Harry inhales through his teeth. “It was difficult at first but he’s accepted the two of us now. He’s like a big brother to her so it wasn’t easy to earn his blessing for a while.”

“Aww, Ed’s going to be your future brother-in-law,” Liam interjects.

My eyes widen at his remark. Liam just basically told the world that Harry and I are going to end up getting married. I absolutely don’t know how to react to that.

I look back at Harry and see him with a smile on his face as he shakes his head. He doesn’t seem shocked about it like I am.

His reaction puts me at slight ease but it scares me a bit, as well. Does he agree with Liam’s comment?

“I completely understand. Now, the fans. There seems to be a bit of an uproar on Twitter and especially on Instagram when you posted that picture. How do you deal with that and how does Lily deal with it?”

Harry looks away in thought, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Um, even though I try to read as much of the tweets and comments as I can, I try not to read the negative ones. I know it’s quite hard not to but I just don’t let the negativity get to me. I also told Lily the same thing. I’ve grown to have thick skin and I’m trying to make sure that she does, too. But she’s one of the strongest people I know. Stronger than me sometimes.”

“That’s good. That’s very admirable,” the interviewer replies. “Now, I know you’ve been beating around the bush but…you and Lily…you love her?”

I feel my heart drop in my stomach. I was worried for this question to be brought up. I knew it was inevitable but at the same time, I was hoping they wouldn’t for Harry’s sake.

He’s always being put on the spot. I even noticed that the interview quickly turned from all to them and then onto just Harry. I’m not really surprised. Almost all of the interviews always end up like this.

However, when I look over at Harry, he’s still managing to remain calm.

I hold my breath, waiting for his answer that I have no idea how he will go with.

He was beating around the bush but for reasons that I understood. I know that he wouldn’t really say that he loves me because that would just cause even more trouble with the tabloids and the fans.

He won’t say it. He--

“Yes, I do.”

My eyes widen and I bring my hand up to cover my mouth.

I’m speechless.

He said it. He actually said it. A beautiful smile graces his lips and I can’t tear my eyes away.

“I’m lucky to have her. She makes me happy. I love her more than anything.”

 

Oh great. Here come the tears.

 

******************************

Thought I would update since it's Harry Edward Styles' birthday! Ahhh can't believe he's 21! He's the same age as me again! :P

Damn, I wish I was invited to his birthday party last night. His outfit last night was sooooo hot.

Anyways, please vote and comment!

35 votes and 15 comments! I would love some feedback and just know what you guys thought of the chapter :)

Thanks for reading! Love you guys <3

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