Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


28. I'm Here

Lily’s POV

“Wake up. Your stupid boyfriend is coming over soon.”

I feel a pillow being thrown on my face. I’d usually be annoyed that Ed was waking me up but hearing the humour in his voice as he described Harry actually made me excited to get up out of bed. I sit up and stretch and notice that Ed had left my room. I get out of bed and go to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready.

Half an hour later, I’m dressed up and my makeup is on before I head out to the living room to join Ed. He’s watching TV so I sit down beside him.

“When’s he getting here?” I ask.

He looks down at his watch. “In about 10 minutes.” He turns the TV off and looks over at me with a smirk. My eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

“Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“Wanna mess with Harry a bit?”

Technically, I should be totally opposed to whatever Ed had planned but anyone who knew me knows that I love pranks.

“What are you planning in that brain of yours?”



I stand to the side of the door when me and Ed hear a knock. I nod, letting him know that I was ready for our little prank. Ed opens the door and I remain behind it, hidden from Harry’s view.

“Harry,” Ed says in a serious tone.

“Ed,” I hear Harry reply. Hearing his voice instantly makes me smile and I almost ruin the plan by almost walking around the door and hugging him. But I quietly lean back against the wall and wait for the rest of our scheme to pan out.

“So, I called you over to let you know that…Lily left.”

“Left? What do you mean ‘left’?” I hear the panic in his voice.

“She’s gone.”

“Wh…What? ‘Gone’, as in she’s staying at a hotel?”

“No, ‘gone’, as in she went back home to her parents. I told her that she wasn’t allowed to see you anymore so I told her to go home.”

Harry stammers. “She…she wouldn’t leave like that. She wouldn’t leave…without saying goodbye.”

“She told me to tell you that she’s sorry and to tell you goodbye.”

“No, no. She…she wouldn’t do that. I thought that…”

It’s silent but I hear my heart pounding in my ears. Harry seems really upset about all of this. This plan was just to mess with Harry but I like how I’m able to see how Harry would react if I actually did leave.

“Thought that what? She would risk our friendship to be with you? We’ve been friends for 15 years. She’s not going to give that up for a two week relationship.”

I know that this was just a prank but I can’t help but feel bad for Harry.

“Yeah, well, I love her so I’m not just going to give up on her. If you cared about her, you’d let us be together.”

My heart swells in my chest at Harry’s confession and I’m finding it harder and harder to stay put in my spot.

“You two aren’t meant to be together. You wouldn’t even have met if she hadn’t decided to visit me.”

“But she did. It happened and I’m glad I met her. I don’t care what you think, it’s not over between us.”

“Well, the fact that she left without saying goodbye shows how much she really cared about you.”

I glare at Ed and I’m really tempted to smack him. I know that one of the reasons Ed was doing this was to test how much Harry really cared about me so I controlled myself.

“That’s not true. You probably fed lies to her or…or threatened her or something.”

Ed shrugs. “There’s nothing you can do now. She’s gone.”

“She may be gone but I’m not giving up on her. Tell me where she lives, I’m going to go talk to her.”

Ed raises his eyebrows in surprise.

I bite my lip in happiness. He would actually go and look for me. I was really worried that Harry would just move on and not doing anything to get me back. But he wouldn’t do that.

He really does care about me.

He really does love me.

I see Ed look over at me with a grin.

“He passed the test.”

I smile and I push myself off of the wall.

“What? Who are you talking to?” I hear Harry say.

I walk around Ed and see Harry’s eyes widen. A huge smile erupts on his face and he takes a step towards me. But then he stops and looks over at Ed warily.

Ed rolls his eyes before he turns around.

“I’m gonna go to the kitchen. By the time I come back out, you two better have stopped macking out.”

He disappears into the kitchen and that’s when I turn back to face Harry. He immediately wraps his arms around me tightly.

“Lily. I thought you left.”

I laugh as I wrap my arms around his neck. He keeps his arms around me, like he’s afraid that I’m going to disappear if he lets go.

“I’m sorry. It was all Ed’s plan. He wanted to see how you actually felt about me.”

He groans. “He’s a prick.”

I laugh again. His arms tighten even more around my waist.

“I guess confessing my love for you wasn’t enough for him. I can’t believe he did that,” Harry says.

“Well, I talked to him last night and he understands now that we really care about each other. He’s still hesitant about it but he’s not going to prevent us from being together anymore. He just wanted to see how you really felt.”

“That's…really great. I’m glad. But, like I said, he wouldn’t be able to stop me from being with you.”

I pause in thought.

“So…did you mean what you just said to Ed?”

Harry leans back but keeps his arms around me. “Every word. I wouldn’t let you leave without getting an explanation. I would find you and tell you that I think you were stupid for leaving me like that.”

I laugh and he joins me.

“But then I would fight for you. I wouldn’t let you get away that easily.”

I smile at him. “You know that I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. But you should know that I would never leave you at all.”

He smiles back at me and his eyes dart to my lips. I don’t waste a second as I go on my tiptoes and place my lips on his.

I hear sounds coming from the kitchen so I reluctantly pull away.

“Are you ready for Ed’s interrogation?” I laugh.

“I’ve been ready since last night, baby.”

My stomach flips as my smirk is wiped off of my shock-stricken face.

“You okay?” he teases as he plays with a strand of my hair, a smirk present on his face.

“Stop it!” I lightly smack his hand away as he laughs. “Let’s just get this over with.” I grab his hand and drag him to the living room. “Ed! Come here!”

Me and Harry sit down on the couch just as Ed comes out of the kitchen and joins is in the living room, taking a seat on the other couch.

“Alright, let’s keep this short and sweet,” Ed says. “You treat her right and if you hurt her, I’ll kick your arse.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or not but I just looked at him as he looked sternly at Harry.

I hear Harry gulp and I look over at him as he nods. “I promise. I won’t hurt her.”

“I mean it. Don’t make me regret letting you two be together.”

I’m about to tell Ed that he’s not the one to decide whether me and Harry can be together but Harry interrupts me.

“I won’t. I promise.”

I look between the two boys and I can see Ed’s harsh demeanor disappear.

“I’m sorry for hitting you. I shouldn’t have done that. I mean, I didn’t regret it at that moment but I do regret it now.”

We laugh as they both stand up and exchange hugs.

“It’s alright, mate. I understand.”

They pull away and Harry sits back down beside me.

“Alright, well, I’m going to assume that you two want to spend the day together so I’m going to go chill at Ethan’s house.”

He heads over to the front door and we follow him.

“But, I’m serious, this is my place and I’d prefer if you two didn’t stay here while I’m gone.”

Both me and Harry nod our heads quickly.

“Of course, yeah, we’ll go out somewhere,” Harry replies.

“You better,” Ed says, pointing a finger at him. He looks over at me and gives me a stern look.

“Goodbye, Ed,” I say with a smile. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head with a grin before opening the door and leaving, closing it behind him.

I take a deep breath. “Well, that went better than--”

Harry’s lips smash against mine, interrupting my words. He pushes me against the wall, his hands roaming my waist. My hands move up to tangle themselves in his hair. He moans as I tug lightly and I take that opportunity to pull away to catch my breath. Harry’s lips rush to my neck as he pulls me closer.

“Harry,” I gasp. He lightly bites the skin on my neck and I bite my bottom lip to suppress a moan. “Harry, wait…” Harry’s starting to get more frisky and it’s not like I’m not enjoying it or that I don’t want to keep doing this but I have no idea why he’s acting like this.

I reluctantly pull him away and rest my forehead against his, his breath fanning out all over my face.

“What’s gotten into you?” I giggle.

His hands squeeze my sides and he takes a deep breath. “I was just really scared when Ed said that you left. You have no idea how happy I was when you came from behind the door. I was so scared. I was trying so hard to act all tough in front of Ed,” we laugh as I lean back to look him in the eyes. “But I was so scared on the inside.” He shakes his head. “So scared.”

“Well, I’m here,” I run a hand through his hair repeatedly, attempting to soothe him. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

 “Good. Neither am I.” His eyes stay on mine and a small smile lights up his face. “Now…what are we going to do?” The tone of his voice suddenly turns serious. “Now that Ed knows, what are we going to do with every other person on this planet?”

I laugh and roll my eyes before focusing my eyes on his, which are looking warily and apprehensively into mine. “I think…that we should finally show the world how much you love me.”

Harry chuckles, which causes a smile to erupt on my face.

“Are you sure? Things are going to go crazy. Remember how things were when we were just friends? It’s going to be a million times more overwhelming now that we’re together.”

I bite my lip as I take in Harry’s words. I’ve thought about the exact same thing since we got together. Harry’s right, things are going to be crazy.

But I’d take the craziness if it meant that I could be with Harry. I look back up at him and give him a smile.

“I’m sure. I don’t want to hide anymore.”

He smiles and leans in to give me a quick peck on my lips.

“Alright, then let’s go. I’m going to take you out on a date.” He takes my hand and leads me to the door. I quickly grab my bag sitting on the floor beside the door just before he opens it and leads us outside.

“Harry,” I laugh. “Slow down.”

He just laughs and walks even faster. Each huge step he takes is equivalent to two steps for me and I’m practically jogging. I decide to wrap my arms around his waist from behind to slow him down as we head to the elevator. Once we reach it, he presses the button. I lean my head against his back as we wait as Harry plays with my fingers. The elevator opens a few seconds later and I pull away before he takes my hand again and pulls me inside.

He presses the button for the first floor and I lean against him as we descend.

“Just to warn you, there’s a bunch of paparazzi outside. They followed me on my way here and they’re most likely waiting for me.”

He gives me a worried smile but I nod in response.

Each floor we pass on the way to the lobby causes my anxiety to grow more and more. The trip down seems to last one second as we finally reach the first floor. The doors open and Harry takes my hand and leads us out. He squeezes my hand as the lobby comes into view and the window that shows the outside of the building appears before us. It takes a couple of seconds for the group of paparazzi to realize that we were here.

One of them sees us and instantly starts to take pictures. And like a wildfire, the rest of them start doing the same thing. Their shouts are blending in together and are being muffled by the glass barrier in between us.

We make our way closer and closer to the front door and I step closer to Harry’s body. He turns his head around and I nod to let him know that I was ready.

Luckily, Harry had called security with him on his way here so there are a couple of men waiting at the door for us. He switches his hand onto my other one as I stand behind him and place my other hand on his waist. I keep my face hidden against his back when I hear the shouts amplifying, letting me know that Harry had opened the door.

I don’t risk looking up as Harry leads me through the crowd of people. There are some girls here, fans of Harry’s. I hear them trying to get his attention and asking for pictures. I feel someone walk beside me and I look over to see a girl holding out a phone in front of her and Harry, trying to take a picture. She neglects my presence as she tells Harry to smile for the picture but he continues to walk.

I start to slightly panic as I feel more and more people surround me. Girls are screaming and trying to grab for Harry. The security is attempting to push through the crowd while trying to push people away from us at the same time.

I start to feel claustrophobic so I pull myself closer to Harry. I feel him tighten his grip on my hand.

“Harry, how long have you two been together?”

And here they come. The inevitable questions. It’s clear now that we’re together since we’re hand-in-hand with me clutching his waist while I walk behind him. And the fact that we’re leaving Ed’s flat without Ed is confirming their ideas.

“Harry, you two are finally official? You two are in a relationship?”

“How does Ed feel about you sleeping with his best friend?”

I didn’t know who that last question was intended for but I ignore it like I did with every other question.

But there are some remarks coming from the fans, too.

“Harry, please don’t tell me you two are together.”

“Harry, why are you with her? She’s ugly.”

“She’s a nobody. She’s just using you for fame.”

I feel Harry tense. He stops walking and I look up to see him glaring at someone from behind us. I squeeze his hand and rub his waist. He looks down at me, his face softening. I give him a reassuring smile, letting him know that I was okay. I slightly nudge him and he continues to walk again.

Finally, we make it to Harry’s car and he opens the passenger door for me before he makes his way to the other side, the security pushing their way through. I keep a hand up over my face but I still hear the shutter of the cameras and the shouts from the paparazzi and the fans.

I hear the driver’s side door open and Harry steps in. He quickly turns on the car and slowly makes his way out of the parking lot. People stand in front of the car so the two security men push them to the side before we’re able to drive away.

He finally turns onto the road and that’s when he reaches over and takes my hand in his as it rests on my lap.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

I look over at him and he looks at me for a second before turning his attention back to the road.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was a bit scary but I’m okay now.”

He starts to run his thumb back and forth along my hand and I instantly feel the anxiety seep out of my body at his comforting gesture.

“Look, the things that those girls said--”

“It’s okay. I’m not going to let it get to me.”

We’re stopped at a red light so I give him a reassuring smile and he returns it with one of his own.

“Plus, a wise person told me not to let those things get to me or affect me,” I say.

“Oh? You think I’m wise?” He smirks and I see his ego inflate, causing me to roll my eyes.

I laugh. “I was talking about Perrie.” He sticks his tongue out at me before he looks back at the road and starts driving again. “Really, I’m okay.”

He pulls my hand up to his lips and leaves a lingering kiss on it before placing it back on my lap. I start to play with his fingers as he drives. I take the silver ring from his middle finger and place it on my thumb.

“I’m going to keep this for a while, I really like it.”

He chuckles. “Alright, no worries.” He slows down and turns into a plaza. “We’re here.”

I look up and see a pizza shop.

“You said you’d rather have pizza than go to a fancy restaurant so…ta-da.”

I laugh as Harry parks the car in front of the building. He turns off the car and I unbuckle my seatbelt before hopping out. I walk over to Harry and he takes my hand in his. We step inside the pizza shop and we make our way to the counter. We look up at the selection and he puts his arm around my shoulders.

“What pizza do you want, baby?”

Harry says it like it’s not a big deal but to me, it makes me feel warmth in my stomach and I bite my lip to hide my giddy smile.

I shrug. “Anything’s good. You can choose.”

He nods and turns his attention to the cashier in front of us.

“We will have a medium pepperoni pizza, please. And two cans of Pepsi.”

I liked how he said ‘we’. It was a simple gesture but I thought it was really thoughtful. I could get used to it.

“That’ll be £8.79.”

Harry paid for the food and the cashier told us to take a seat while they made our pizza. We got our drinks and sat down in one of the booths to the side of the restaurant.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I have your ticket for Paris. The flight leaves at 11 in the morning so we’ll go to the airport at 8. I’ll let you know more about it closer to the day.”

“Alright.” I smile at him. “So, what are we going to do while we’re there? I mean, I know you’re working so we don’t have to if we don’t have time.”

He takes my hands in his. “Oh, don’t worry. We’ll have time. But yeah, we’ll go sightseeing, of course. But I have a few surprises up my sleeves.”

Excitement grew inside of me. “Really?”

He smiles at me. “Yes, really. I’m not going to take you to Paris and not let you see Paris.”

“I can’t wait.” I lean over and give him a quick kiss. “But what’re the surprises?”

“You should know by now that I won’t tell you any surprises.”

I knew it was a long shot to try and get an answer out of him but it was worth the try. Plus, I like being excited about something. Especially about something that Harry planned.

“Fine,” I pout.

Harry laughs.

“But don’t worry, you’re going to love it.”

I smile at him. “I know I will.”




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