Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


103. Hide & Seek


Alright, so I'm sure most of you are aware of what happened yesterday with the whole Louis/Zayn/NB drama. I wasn't going to address it but I have to cause it's going to affect my story. It's not going to be a big change but basically, I'm not going to mention Zayn for the rest of my story.

Before some of you guys get upset with me for this, please let me explain. I understand that there is DEFINITELY more to the whole drama than what we've seen but the fact that Zayn didn't even care enough to keep their issues private and he publicly insulted Louis AND let NB insult LOUIS for something that Louis is very insecure about, he just lost all of my respect for him.

I don't even care what Zayn has done in the past. What he's done now is just plain disrespectful and disappointing. I accepted the fact that he left, no matter what the reason was, but how he's acted since then, it just seems like he doesn't care for us, but most importantly, the four boys who he once considered his brothers. It's like he's just completely thrown away everything he had in the past 5 years and he doesn't give a s.hit about anything or anyone.

I understand that they may not have ended on good terms when Zayn left but what him and NB did and said to Louis was really hurtful. I don't even care about how it made me feel. I only cared about how hurt Louis and the others probably are. They used one of - if not the biggest - insecurity that Louis has about himself and threw it in his face. Louis has always defended and supported Zayn when people were sending him hate or bullying him. Zayn immediately retaliated even though Louis didn't say ONE WORD about him.

So, right now, I have no respect for Zayn. I tried to defend him since he left but what he did yesterday was the final straw. He has no respect for the fans, for Louis, for the other boys, therefore, I have no respect for him. This is how I feel right now about the whole situation and I may feel differently about it in the future but this is how I'm handling it and I hope that you all understand. I don't mean to offend anyone with this. I know there are some diehard Zayn fans out there but this is how I feel. I'm sure you'd feel the same way if it was the other way around and one of the boys intentionally hurt him.

So, I will not be mentioning Zayn for the rest of the story. I'm going to keep him in the previous chapters because 1) I'm too lazy to change everything, 2) I may regret it. I'm not sure how this is going to work, in regards to Perrie since she's still going to be in my story, AND if I'm going to mention the fact that he's not part of the band anymore. I may just not write him parts in the story and you guys can just imagine that he's still in it but yeah, I won't be writing about him in this story anymore.

Again, this is just how I'm handling it, how I'm coping with it. Hope everyone understands. And at the same time, I completely understand if you guys are upset with me for this, if you hate me now, if you don't want to read my story anymore. I'm not going to be a hypocrite and get upset with you guys for that. Just keep in mind that I'm hurt. I'm hurting for Louis, for the other boys. If anyone wants to talk about this or anything really, don't hesitate to message me on here or on kik (my username is livelaughlove47). Anyways, here's the next chapter. It's a fairly light chapter so hopefully it'll lighten the mood. Thank you guys. I LOVE YOU ALL! <3




Harry's POV


I snap my head over to Lily as she runs to Ashton. Him and the rest of the boys walk into our dressing room and he walks over to Lily with a huge smile on his face. I watch like a hawk when they share a hug, lasting longer than I was okay with. However, I relax slightly when she goes to hug the others and talks to all of them instead of just with Ashton.

"Are you going to watch our set, too?" Michael asks.

Lily smiles at him. "Of course I am. I'll be front row and centre. I may not know all of your songs but the ones I do, I'll make sure to sing my heart out."

They all laugh and I can't even hold back my smile. Lily has always been charming. Anyone who's met her has seen that, I can tell.

"How are you guys liking tour so far?" she asks. I just continue to watch them as Louise finishes with my hair.

"It's been great. We're so grateful to be on tour with the lads. We love it," Calum answers. The others give small words of agreement.

"That's great. I can't wait to see you guys perform. Now I can cross off attending a punk-pop concert off my bucket list."

They laugh. "Is that actually on your bucket list?" Ashton chuckles.

She tilts her chin up and raises an eyebrow. "As of today, yes."

I laugh along with them this time and Lily turns to me when she hears me, a smile spreading across her face before she turns back to the boys.

"All done," Louise says from behind me as she pats my shoulders.

"Thanks, Lou."

She smiles at me. "No worries. Now go. I know you've been dying to finish so you can go be the one that you haven't taken your eyes off of since you sat in my chair."

I smile and roll my eyes at her before I make my way towards Lily. They laugh at something that I seemed to have missed and when I reach Lily, she looks up at me and wraps an arm around my waist.

I pull her closer when I put my arm around her shoulders.

"You guys are next!" Louise shouts to Ashton and the others. "We just have to wait for my intern to get here."

They all respond to her before they excuse themselves and walk over to her. I turn in my spot so Lily's right in front of me, facing her as I put both of my arms around her shoulders.

"You look very handsome," she says, wrapping both of her arms around my waist.

"Don't I always?" I retort.

She rolls her eyes with a smile. "You know when you looked the most handsome to me?"

My smile widens. "When?"

"When you let me do your makeup."

Not a second passes before I take one of my hands and tickle her on her side. She flinches and squeals and tries to push me away but I just laugh and wrap my arms around her shoulders against, not letting her get away.

I trap her body against my chest, both of us laughing loudly. She continues trying to push me but I hold on tighter.

"Group hug!" I look up and see Niall walking up to us and wrapping his arms around the both of us, squishing Lily in between us like a sandwich.

I laugh harder when Lily groans.

"You guys are suffocating me! Let me go!"

Niall and I nod to each other, still laughing before we tighten the group hug.

Lily groans again. "I hate you two!"

Niall finally pulls away and Lily pushes me away with a pout. I stick out my bottom lip and put my arm around her again.

"Sorry, babe. We were just having a bit of fun."

She crosses her arms. "Yeah, for you two."

I turn again so she's facing me and I take my free hand and brush her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Good. Cause I only want a hug from one of you. And that's Niall." I see the grin slowly creep on her face and I playfully narrow my eyes at her. God, she's way too good at teasing me.

I'm about to poke her again but she quickly catches my hand and instead clasps our fingers.

"Hey, everyone!"

Both of us look over at Louise trying to get our attention. I notice the girl standing beside her, someone I've never seen before.

"Everyone, this is Carla. She's my new intern for the rest of tour so be nice and don't scare her away."

Everyone takes turns shaking her hand and introducing themselves as she shyly stands there and offers everyone a smile. I take Lily's hand in mine and we walk up to Carla.

"Hi, I'm Harry. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

Lily stands right beside me.

"This is my girlfriend, Lily."

They shake hands and I notice a look of wariness on Lily's face when she smiles at Carla.

"Okay, now go away," Louise, exclaims. She turns to Carla. "We'll start with Michael. He's the most behaved out of the bunch of them."

Michael smiles proudly as he sits down on the chair. Louise goes into teacher mode as she starts explaining to Carla everything she's doing.

I look down at Lily and see a small frown on her face. I lead her back to the couch and we sit down.

"What's wrong?" I ask. She stares down at our laps where our fingers are softly playing with each other's.

She shrugs and shakes her head. "Nothing."

I take one of my hands and place my finger under chin, pushing it up so she's forced to look at me.

"I know that it's not nothing. Talk to me."

I put my hand back down and just brush the back of one of hers lightly with my thumb. I can see her eyes flicker towards Louise for a quick second before they land back on me.

She takes a deep breath. "She was staring at you."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. I look over at Louise, confused as to what she's talking about. However, my face softens in understanding when I realize she wasn't looking at Louise. She was looking at Carla.

I look back to Lily and see her looking down at her lap again.

"Hey. She wasn't looking at me. What are you talking about?"

She shrugs again, still avoiding eye contact. "When Louise was introducing her, she looked at you. At least longer than she looked at anyone else."

I can't help the grin appearing on my face. "Are you jealous?" I sing.

I know I shouldn't gloat about it but now, hopefully, Lily will understand how I feel when I see her around other guys.

She scowls at me. "I am not jealous. She just...she...oh, just forget it."

She starts to pull away but I take her hands again and sit closer to her.

"Look. I'm pretty sure she wasn't staring at me and maybe she did but I didn't notice. Do you want to know why?"

She just continues to look up at me, remaining silent so I just keep talking.

"Because I only notice when you're looking at me."

I smile when I see one start to appear on hers but I can tell she's still letting it bother her. I can tell there's something more to it than just the possible staring.

"What's bothering you?"

She takes another deep breath and finally looks up at me. "It's just...she's so pretty and...she's going to be here for the entire tour. I just..." She shrugs again. "I'm just worried that..."

She trails off and I wait for her to finish her sentence but she doesn't.

"Worried that what?"

Again, she doesn't say anything.

"Lily. You have nothing to worry about. You know me. I'm head over heels for you. Like the lads tell me every time they see me with you, I'm like a damn puppy around you. No matter what I'm doing, I always think about you, whether you're with me or not. Remember when you told me that you didn't care if David Beckham and Ian Somerhalder's lovechild went up to you and told you that you were pretty? That you wouldn't even give them second look? For me, even if Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez's lovechild went up to me and said she liked my dimples. I would protect my dimples and tell her that they're only yours to touch."

Lily laughs and my smile widens.

"You have nothing to worry about when it comes to other girls. I wouldn't even think about doing anything that I know will make you upset. I know what it feels like. I wouldn't ever do anything to make you feel that way. You know how much I want you here every day for the whole tour. I would do anything to do this every day with you. I am being completely honest here when I say that I haven't even thought about or looked at another girl since I first met you, since I first laid my eyes on you. Not once and it's not going to happen now."

I lock my gaze with her and I can see the wariness completely gone from her features as it's being replaced with a small smile.

"Got it?" I ask.

She bites her lip as she nods before she moves closer to me and leans against me. I hold her tighter and pull her legs up to lie on top of mine.

"Got it," she replies. "I love you so much."

I kiss the top of her head. "I love you, Lily."

She pulls away slightly and I'm about to protest and pull her back but I realize why when she leans in, this time to place her lips on mine. It's gentle, sweet. Most likely because there's a room full of people that can see us, including the little one that has walked up to us and interrupted us, stopping our kiss.

"Uncle Harry, can we play?"

I look down at Lux and smile at her as Lily takes her legs off of me, placing it back on the ground.

"Of course. What did you want to play?"

"Can we play hide and seek?" she asks.

I look over at Lily. "You wanna join?"

She nods. "I would love to. Not it!"

"Not it!" Lux quickly says.

I put on a pretend pout. "I guess I'm 'it'. Now you two hide while I count."

Lily takes Lux's hand and starts walking across the room. I cover my eyes and start counting.


"I wanna join!" Louis' voice booms around the room. I laugh as I keep my eyes closed and I start to count again.


"Me, too!" Niall and Liam say at the same time.

"Me, too!" Ashton, Calum and Luke shout right after each other.

"Fine but I'm not starting over! 7...8...9...10..."

I continue to count up to 30 before I open my eyes and stand up. "Ready or not, here I come."

Since the room isn't that big and everyone but Lux and Lily is a full-grown adult, I can already spot a few of them with either the top of their head or the ends of their shoes sticking out behind their hiding spaces.

I walk over to the other couch and find Niall curled up in a ball against the wall.

"Found you," I say with a grin. I start to look for the others as he stands up.

"Liam's over there!" Niall says, pointing behind the rack of clothes.

Liam sticks his head out and glares at Niall. "That's not fair! You're not allowed to help Harry!"

Niall just shrugs and Liam walks over to us.

I walk over to the curtain when I see a pair of shoes sticking out from the bottom. I pull the curtain over and find Calum.

"Got you!"

"Luke's over here!" Niall shouts. I turn around and see him pointing behind the door.

"Niall! Stop helping Harry!" Luke exclaims, stepping from behind the door.

"Ashton's over there!" Niall yells.

"NIALL!" everyone yells, including Ashton, who jumps out from an empty suitcase.

"Niall, you can't play with us anymore," Liam says.

I just smile and shake my head before I start looking around the room again.

"So it's just Louis, Lily and Lux left," I say.

I stop when I hear someone whispering.

"Louis, you're gonna get us caught. Why are you even here? I found this spot first!"

I smile when I immediately recognize Lily's voice. I walk over to the area where her voice came from. The bathroom. I walk over and open the door, the room completely silent. I turn on the light and don't see either of them. I look at the shower, the curtain closed all the way.

I smirk as I walk up and wrench the curtain open. Lily and Louis jump in fright when they see me.

"I told you! See? You got us caught," Lily says, glaring at Louis.

"I did not. You were the one talking loud," Louis replies with a smirk. "Harry, who's the one that got us caught?"

I look in between them and look over at Lily with an apologetic look. "Sorry, babe, but it was your lovely voice that I heard."

Her glare deepens as she looks at me. I know she's just pretending and it's also good because of the fact that she looks f.ucking adorable when she's mad.

"That's cause Louis thought it would be funny to turn on the water!" she adds.

I look down at their shirts and sure enough, there are wet spots. They weren't that big but taking a good look at both of their shirts, it looks like Lily got the worst of it.

"I was getting bored. Harry was taking too long, even counting."

I punch him on the arm as he steps out and he laughs before he leaves the bathroom. I look over at Lily and like I assumed, she's smiling as I hold my hand out for her, helping her out of the bathtub.

"He's definitely the worst person to hide with," she laughs. I follow her out of the bathroom and join the others as they're seated around the couches.

"Did you find Lux?" Liam asks.

I shake my head. "I thought she would be with Lily."

Everyone looks at her but she shakes her head, as well. "Nope. She wanted to find her own hiding place."

We all start looking around the room. She's tiny so I know it's going to be harder to find her. Everyone helps in searching for her and when I look around the area where Louise's station is set up, I freeze in my spot when I hear Lux's giggle.

I furrow my eyebrows when I look around but can't find her anywhere.

"Lux! Where are you?" I sing. I look up at Louise, Carla and Michael and see them trying to hold back smiles.

"I know you're here somewhere. I'm going to find you."

I do a double take to Michael when I see his cape moving. It moved it a way that it shouldn't move and I immediately know why.

I walk up to him and grab the side of the cape and pull up. Sure enough, I see Lux curled up against Michael's chest, smiling up at me.

"Found you!"

She laughs as I help her down and everyone else walks over to us and stands around her.

"You're awesome at hiding, Lux!" Liam says. "You were the last one that we found."

Lux's smile widens as she looks up at all of us with bright eyes. Lily walks up to stand beside me and she holds onto my arm and leans her head against it.

"Again!" Lux shouts.

I laugh. "Alright. Niall's 'it' since I found him first."

"No one help him, though. Since he cheated," Liam interjects.

Everyone gladly agrees as Niall puckers his lips and rolls his eyes. He even pretends to flick his hair over his shoulder with his hand.

He covers his eyes and starts counting and everyone immediately starts looking for a hiding spot. Lily is about to walk away to find hers but I grab her hand and pull her behind me.

"Harry, what are you doing?" she whispers. "I know the perfect hiding place."

I don't answer her as I lead us to the bathroom. Thankfully, no one else is in there so I pull her inside and close the door. I turn off the lights and lead her inside the bathtub, closing the curtain when we're both inside.

"Harry, I wanted to find a different hiding place. They're gonna find-"

I shut her up my smacking my lips with her, totally catching her off guard when she jumps slightly.

"This is the perfect hiding place," I mumble against her lips.

She giggles quietly. "Hiding place or make out place?"

I smile before I press my lips against hers again, her lips finally responding to the kiss. I can hear Niall counting on the other side of the door but I stop paying attention to it way before he reaches 30. Lily wraps her arms around my waist as I keep both of my hands cupped around the back of her head.

I hear voices and scuffles from outside the bathroom but I can't really understand them. Or I'm just too distracted.

Lily jumps when the door opens and I feel her lips freeze but I have different thoughts. I continue to kiss her, even when the lights turn on. Even when Niall opens the curtain.

"Oi! Gross! Get a room!"

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