Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


13. Girls' Night

Lily’s POV

“So, are you still up for clubbing tomorrow?” Perrie asked through the phone.

“Yeah, of course. What time should I be ready?”

“We were planning around 10:30, so I’ll pick you up then.

“Okay, sounds good.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow.”

“See you, Perrie.”

I hung up the phone and decided to look for something in my closet. I’m not much of a club girl so I never bothered to buy a lot of dresses that would be acceptable for clubbing. Plus, Marcus rarely let me go clubbing, especially without him. Once I went through my clothes three times, coming to the conclusion that I did not bring a dress for my visit here, I decided that I needed to go out and find one.

I changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and put on my Toms before heading out to the living room.

“Hey, Ed. I’m gonna go to the mall real quick to find a dress.”

He never took his eyes off of the TV as he nodded. “Sure. Did you want me to drive you there?”

“No, it’s alright. It’s not that far. Unless you want to come with me?” I asked, apprehensively.

“No, thanks,” he said, grimacing.

“Oh, come on, Ed. You used to always help me pick out clothes,” I pleaded.

Ed would go shopping with me when we were younger. But now I guess he’s too old for that.

He took his eyes off of the TV and looked over at me. I put on my best puppy dog eyes and clasped my hands together in front of me. It looked like he was thinking it over before he rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Fine. But this is the last time.” He stood up and turned off the TV.

I jumped up and down before flinging my arms around him and hugged him.

“Yay! Okay, let’s go.” I was actually not looking forward to going to the mall to find a dress but now that Ed was going with me, I was excited. I missed the times when we would hang out at the mall for hours, just shopping and stuffing our face with junk food. It’ll just be like old times.

So I linked my arm through his and led him out of the apartment.


“Lily, hurry up,” Ed whined through the dressing room door. I had picked out five dresses in the first store that we went into, which took an hour itself. And now, I was in the dressing room trying on the first dress while Ed sat just outside waiting for me.

“Hold on!”

I slipped on the little black dress that hugged every curve of my body. It was strapless and stopped mid-thigh. I took a quick glance in the mirror before opening the door.

Ed was slumped against the couch with his eyes closed before he opened them and looked at me when he heard the door open.

His eyes widened before he furrowed his eyebrows.

“What the hell is that?” he asked.

I looked at him confusedly. “It’s a dress.”

“That is not a dress. That’s like half a dress.”

I rolled my eyes before turning around to look at myself in the tall mirror.

“Ed, I’m going to a club, not a funeral.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to wear that.

“This is what every girl wears to a club.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to be like every girl.”

I sighed before turning around to face him.

“Ed, I’m not the same little girl that you went shopping with years ago.”

He eyes softened in understanding before sighing.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I can’t help it though. I’m just worried about what the guys at the club will do when they see you in that dress.”

I walked over to him and took a seat beside him.

“I’m not gonna let any guy do anything with me tomorrow. I have more class than that.” I smiled at him in reassurance, earning one back from him.

“Maybe I should go with you to make sure.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes before getting up.

“No boys allowed. It’s a girl night and it’s going to stay that way.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. I have to go to Paris for the weekend for some interviews so I won’t be able to go anyways.”

I turned around.

“What? You didn’t tell me you were leaving.”

He looked away, looking guilty. “Uhh…well, I’m telling you now.”

“I thought that you would be here the whole summer?” I pouted.

“I know, I’m sorry. It was a last minute thing. I promise to make it up to you when I get back.”

“You better.” I couldn’t help the smile that crept on my face as I tried to keep a serious face. He smiled back at me.

“Now go and try on the other dresses before I die of boredom.”

I scoffed. “Okay. Geez, so impatient.”

He chuckled as I went back into the dressing room to try on the next dress. I tried on all five dresses so that Ed could help me choose one.

Surprisingly, we both agreed on the red dress with thin straps. It still clung to my body like every other dress did and it ended mid-thigh. I found a pair of simple, black stiletto pumps to match before I took them to the counter along with the dress to pay for them. When it was my turn, I placed the shoes and the dress on the counter and the women at the cashier rung them in.

I pulled out my wallet but then Ed handed her his card.

“Ed, what are you doing?” I exclaimed.

“It’s a late birthday present.”

The women took the card and swiped it across the machine.

“Ed. You gave me a present for me birthday already.” I rested a hand on my hip and looked at him.

“Then think of it as an early birthday present for next year,” he said, smirking at me as he took his card back.

I crossed my arms in defeat.

“You know how much I hate people paying for my things.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know. That’s why I do it.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re annoying.”

“Good, that’s what I was hoping to accomplish.”

I smacked him before grabbing the bag filled with my dress and shoes. We headed out and decided to go to the food court to grab something to eat.

“Thank you for coming and helping me pick a dress,” I said before taking a sip of my drink.

“Yeah, anytime.” He paused before shaking his head. “No, actually, not anytime. I do not have the patience to go shopping with you anymore.”

I laughed. “Wow, so sweet.”

“And, you know, you should’ve picked the dress that I picked out for you.”

I snorted. “You mean the granny dress?”

“That was not a granny dress. That dress was lovely.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, for my grandmother.”


We finished eating and decided to head back home.

I was putting my stuff in my room when my phone started to ring. I read Harry’s name on the screen and my heart leapt in my chest. It’s been two days since I last saw Harry, when I had sang and played guitar for him. He’s been busy with work but every night he would call me and we would talk for a bit. He was busy today, too, so now it’s technically been three days. This was a big change because before then, we saw each other every day since I got here.

I jumped and plopped down on my back onto my bed before answering.

“Hey,” I said through a smile.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good. How about you?”

“I’m okay. A bit tired from work but I’m just relaxing now.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, I was hoping to see you today but I just finished work and I have to wake up early tomorrow for an interview.”

“That’s okay. This weekend, we’ll make plans. You don’t have work, right?”

“Nope. I’m off Saturday and Sunday. We’ll do something then. Maybe hang out with everyone.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“So, what’d you do today?”

“I went shopping with Ed.”

“Ed? Shopping?” He laughed through the phone.

“Yeah, I had to convince him but he loves me too much to say no.” This time, I laughed along with him. “And he actually helped me pick out a dress for tomorrow so that was surprising as well.”

“What’s the dress for?”

I was about to tell him right away that it was for clubbing with the girls tomorrow but then I had a better idea.

Maybe I can test him to maybe see how he feels about me.

“I have a date tomorrow.”

Harry remained silent for a good ten seconds, my heart pounding against my chest as I waited for him to say something.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It’s too late now.


He cleared his throat. “Yeah, sorry. So, you have a date tomorrow?”

He clearly sounded upset.


“Who are you going on a date with?”

“This guy that I met at a coffee shop yesterday.”


I bit my lip to hold back the smile that threatened to appear on my face. I shouldn’t feel happy that Harry was upset about this. But now, my hope about Harry possibly liking me grew immensely as I heard the disappointment in his voice.

But I should stop his misery now.

“I’m joking, Harry.”

A couple of seconds of silence passed by.


I giggled. “I’m joking. I don’t have a date tomorrow. I was looking for a dress to go clubbing with the girls tomorrow night.”

I heard him take a deep breath.

“That’s good. I mean, not that you don’t actually have a date…but, you know…that you’re hanging out with the girls. I mean, if you actually had a date, I’d be okay with that--I mean, no…I mean, I wouldn’t but…you know…”

“Harry, calm down.” I laughed.

“Okay, let’s just stop talking about that,” he chuckled. “So, you’re going clubbing with the girls tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we planned it last week but we had to wait until Sophia was back.”

“That sounds fun.”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to hang out with just the girls for a change. Not that I don’t like hanging out with you and the rest of the guys.” I laughed before he joined me.

“No, I understand,” he said. “So, we aren’t allowed to go?”

“No. No boys allowed. The girls strictly warned their boyfriends that they weren’t allowed to go.”

“But I’m not one of their boyfriends so does that mean that I can go?”

I giggled. “Harry.”

“I’m joking. Have fun and don’t let any guys try anything on you.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re just like Ed. I wouldn’t be surprised if you actually went just to watch over me.”

“I would if I could.” I laughed.

Suddenly, I heard him yawn.

“You should get some sleep, Harry.”

“But I still want to talk to you.” My heart swelled as a huge smile grew on my face.

“We’ll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow.”

“But I’m working and then you’re going clubbing.”

“What time do you get off work tomorrow?”

“Not sure but most likely around 5 or 6.”

“Then I’ll talk to you then.”

“Looking forward to it already.”

“Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Lily. Sweet dreams.”

Harry says that to me every night but it still makes me feel good and warm inside. It was just simple words but it meant so much more when it came from him.

I hung up and clung the phone to my chest as I went through the whole conversation again in my head.

I was really starting to believe that Harry likes me.


“I’m gonna miss you,” I said with a pout after I pulled away from a hug with Ed.

“I’ll miss you, too.”

“When will you be back?”

“Sunday night.”

“Okay. Don’t forget about me.”

Ed laughed. “I’m only gone for two days.”

“I know. But I’m still going to miss you.”

“I’ll call you when I have time.”

“You better.”

With that, he grabbed his suitcase before opening the front door.

“Bye, Lily. Don’t burn the place down.”

I rolled my eyes as he stepped out.

“Good bye, Edward. Have a safe trip.”


He gave me one last smile before he walked away. I closed the door behind me and turned around to face the now quiet flat. I sighed before heading to my room to start getting ready for clubbing tonight.

I took a nice, long shower before blow-drying my hair. I went back into my room to slip on my new dress. I put on an old zip up sweater so that I wouldn’t get it dirty while I put my make-up and do my hair. I decided to put my hair in loose curls, parting it in the middle to keep it out of my face, leaving a bit of my long bangs to frame my face. I started my make-up, taking more time and more effort than usual to do it. I put a thicker line of eyeliner than usual to make my hazel eyes pop out before putting two layers of mascara on. I finished the look with some red lipstick to match my dress before I spritzed myself with some perfume. When I was satisfied with my hair and make-up, I took off my sweater and observed myself in the floor length mirror. I put on my new pumps and glanced in the mirror one last time.

My phone rang, already knowing it was Perrie when I answered. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 10:30 on the dot.

I answered my phone.


“Hey, babe, we’re here,” Perrie said.

“Alright, I’ll be right down.”

“Okay, see ya.”


I hung up the phone and put it in my black clutch along with my ID, my lipstick, my set of keys, some money and a pack of gum.

I headed out, locking the door behind me.


The music was blasting around us, the sound of the bass booming through my body. We headed back to our booth that Perrie reserved for us after each of us ordered a drink. Perrie had a driver drive us here so we were all able to drink tonight.

We sat down in the booth with me sitting beside Perrie while Eleanor and Sophia sat opposite us.

“This club is great!” Eleanor shouted. Even though she shouted, I could barely hear her over the loud music.

We sat there, chatting about the club and the music before we decided to head out to the dance floor. I was really reluctant to go out there because I was never a good dancer. But I wanted to have a fun night, so along with the bit of alcohol running through my veins, I loosened up and headed to the sea of dancing bodies alongside the rest of the girls.

We danced together, letting loose and having fun as we moved to the beat of the music. I’ve never had this much fun clubbing. I guess when you have the right people with you, anything you do with them is fun.

Just as a new song started to play, Perrie’s eyebrows furrowed before she pulled out her phone, noticing that someone was calling her.

“I’ll be right back.”

She walked away, probably to a more quiet part of the club to take the call. Me, Eleanor and Sophia continued to dance as we waited for Perrie to get back. A couple of minutes later, we saw her coming towards us with a look of annoyance and worry on her face. Once she reached us, we stopped dancing and looked at her.

“What’s wrong?” I shouted.

She shook her head. “I told them that they weren’t allowed to come here.”

I looked at her in confusion. “Who?” I asked.

“The guys.”

“They’re coming here?” Eleanor shrieked. “I told Louis that this was supposed to be a girls’ night.”

“I told Zayn that, too.” She groaned. “But they said they missed us and that they were already on their way.”

“Who’s they?” I asked but I already knew the answer.

“All of them.”

“Speak of the devils,” Sophia muttered.

I whipped my head around, and sure enough, the guys were heading our way. Harry lifted his head and I could see his eyes widened when I locked my eyes with his.




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