Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


105. Future

Lily's POV

I startle slightly as I wake. Disorientation clouds my brain as I try to remember where I am. When I feel someone's breath on the back of my neck, it takes me a couple of seconds to remember that I'm in Harry's hotel room with his arm around me.

I settle closer to his body as I take a deep breath. I remember trying to fight my tiredness after the show. I remember failing in trying to stay awake to wait for Harry. I don't know how I got from the venue to here. I look down and I realize that I'm still in the same clothes I wore yesterday. That must mean that I was fast asleep the entire time I was brought here and put in bed, most likely by Harry.

I squint one eye open and glance over at the clock on the side table.

7 am.

Still early but better than yesterday.

Knowing that I won't be able to go back to sleep, I carefully turn in my spot so I can face Harry. He doesn't stir one bit at my movement. I know he's tired from the show. And on normal days, he doesn't even wake up until at least 9 am.

I know that I should let him sleep but I'm leaving tonight and I'm selfish enough to steal a couple of extra hours of sleep from him. I take my hand and brush it through his hair but he doesn't wake. I take my finger and glide it slowly from his temple, down his cheekbone, along the length of his nose, across his lips and finally back up along his jawline.

By the time I had reached his lips, I could see his eyelids twitching slightly. It's not until my hand had found their way back to brush through his hair that he opens his eyes. I smile as I watch him try to blink his heavy eyelids, still puffy from sleep. He opens them halfway and a lazy smile spreads across his face.

"Good morning," he says, his voice raspy and lower than usual.

"Morning. Sorry I fell asleep last night. I tried to stay awake."

He leans in and gives me a quick peck. "It's alright. I'm surprised you were able to stay awake for the entire show. I thought you were going to pass out at least halfway through. That's why I threw the water at you."

We laugh and I smack his arm.

"I still don't forgive you for that." I playfully glare at him and continue to brush my fingers through his hair.

"Oh yeah? Are you mad at me?" A smirk appears on his face and I can't help but stare at his lips.

I clear my throat and raise an eyebrow. "Yeah, I am."

He raises an eyebrow himself. "So why are you brushing your hand through my hair and lying so close to me?"

I bite my lip to hold back my smile before I smirk back at him. "So I can do this."

Carefully but hard enough, I pull against his hair and move slightly away from him. He hisses at the pain but he's smiling at the same time.

I rest on my elbow, looking down at him. "Do you prefer this?"

I don't have time to react before Harry turns onto his back, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me harshly on top of him. I yelp, causing me to let go of his hair to support myself by putting my hands on his chest.

"Nope, I prefer this."

I playfully glare at him again. "I'm still mad at you though."

His smirk widens. "Oh yeah?"

He leans his head up and my eyes immediately close when I feel his lips on my neck. I relax against his body when his warm hands move underneath my shirt, gliding along my back. His mouth leaves wet, sloppy kisses along my skin.

"Still mad at me?" he mutters against my neck.

I bite my lip to hold back my moans, knowing that that's what he's trying to get out of me. I can't let him win.

However, he bites down on my skin and I gasp out a loud moan and bury my face onto his bare shoulder.

His tongue swipes across the spot he had bitten and then wraps his lips around it before he harshly sucks. I can't suppress the moans anymore. My hands move up to his hair and I move my legs to rest on either side of his hips.

He grabs my hips and moves me up slightly and I realize why when I feel his lips trail down to my chest, his one hand moving up to pull the collar of my shirt down.

"Still mad?" he rasps, his tone dark and sexy.

I moan. "I hate you."

He chuckles against my skin before he sucks once again. I continue to tug his hair, disappointed in myself for letting him win so easily. However, that doesn't mean that both of us can't win.

I pull myself off of his lips and sit up on top of him. We're both definitely awake now. Harry's eyes are bright and filled with lust, which I'm positive mine look like, too.

His hands rest on my thighs and he watches me as I tug on the bottom of my shirt and pull it off. My bra is still on from last night but I quickly unclasp it and throw it onto the bed beside us. Harry's pupils dilate even more, his eyes grazing along my body with no shame.

I look down when I notice the very prominent purple mark on the top of my chest.

Harry takes his finger and glides it along the mark. "Oops."

I look back at him and see the smirk present on his face again.

Suddenly, I get an idea for the perfect way to get back at him. I slowly lean down, letting my breasts just brush against his chest. I leave a deep and passionate kiss on his lips and I even risk it by pressing myself a bit harder against his hardness.

Just as his hands start to move to the front of my shorts and a moan escapes his lips, I quickly pull away and sit up. As he looks up at me in confusion, I swing myself off of him and stand up from the bed.

"I'm gonna take a shower. And you can't join me this time," I say with my back to him as I make my way to the bathroom.

But, just like I thought, I hear him quickly hop off to the bed right before I feel his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me right up against his chest. He turns me around so I'm facing him and I see the lust growing in his features.

"You think you're funny, huh?" he sexily growls. His voice and his words completely shut me up so I just stand there as his hands roam by hips and my waist.

He bites his lip again and pulls me even closer. His hands rest on my hips before he pushes us until I feel my bum resting against the table behind me. I gulp harshly when I feel his hands move down to the front of my shorts. I rest my hands on his chest as I feel one of his move even further down to glide across my heat through my shorts.

My eyes flutter close at the pleasure and I moan out loud when he applies more pressure, his fingers moving back and forth in a torturous pace. I grasp his arms to keep myself standing. He removes his hand and I open my eyes to protest but he quickly pulls down my shorts, leaving me in just my lace panties.

I'm expecting him to put his hand back but he rests both of them on my waist again before he pushes himself against me, his growing length against his boxers pressing against my throbbing core.

I gasp when he rolls his hips against me and I lift one leg and rest it against his waist. His hand grabs it, pulling it higher and closer to him. He grinds against me again, harder this time. With only the thin material in between us, the pleasure shakes through my body. One of my hands lets go of his arm and rests behind me on the table as I arch my back against him. I throw my head back when he moves against me once again.

"Harry," I moan.

I keep my eyes closed when I feel Harry grab onto my other leg, lifting me up and letting me sit on top of the table. He pulls me to him as he moves closer in between my legs. I take my hand that was on his arm and move it up to his neck, keeping myself from falling back.

"Look at me," he groans.

I drop my head back down and look up at him. I almost lose it right there when I see the lust now accompanied with hunger and pleasure. That's what causes me to take my hand and start rubbing him through his boxers.

He leans in and places his lips on mine, moaning into the kiss as I continue to increase the pressure against his length. When I give a small squeeze, he gasps against my mouth before he moves his lips down to my neck.

I'm about to move my hand underneath his boxers but we both freeze when we hear a knock on the door. We stay still, knowing that if we stay quiet, the person on the other side of the door may think that we're still sleeping.

I jump slightly when they knock on the door again.

"Harry, I know you're awake."


Harry groans against my skin before he pulls away but keeps himself pressed against me.

"What do you want?" Harry shouts.

"I need toothpaste!"

Harry closes his eyes in annoyance and slight frustration and I can't help but giggle quietly. His eyes open and quickly dart down to me in a playful glare.

"I don't have any either! Go call room service!"

I raise an eyebrow at him. I know that Harry still has toothpaste, seeing as how I just used it yesterday and he still had half the tube left.

"I don't like the one they have!"

"I told you, I don't have anymore! And stop yelling. You're going to wake up the whole floor."

We hear Niall groan. "Fine."

I press my forehead against his chest and laugh, knowing that the mood is completely ruined now.

"I'm gonna f.ucking kill him," he grumbles.

I laugh harder and sit up straight to put my arms around him. I tilt my head up and look at him as he puts his arms around my shoulders.

"I swear, I'm going to get that wanker a hundred tubes of toothpaste for Christmas."

I giggle and lean up to place a sweet kiss on his lips, hoping it'll calm him down.

"Christmas?" I repeat. "And what do you want for Christmas? I know it's a while from now but it'd be nice to have enough time to get you a nice present."

He looks down at me thoughtfully, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. My eyebrows furrow slightly as he continues to just look at me, looking like my question had gotten lost in his thoughts.

"What's wrong?"

For a second, I think I've said something wrong but then I see the small smile spreading across his lips.

He shakes his head. "'s just...I liked what you said."

I tilt my head to the side in confusion.

"I like you talking about the future. I liked knowing that you think we're still going to be together for Christmas. I know it sounds bad, like I think that we're not. That's not it at all. I know it's us until the end but...I just liked hearing it."

I smile in understanding as I watch his cheeks turn pink. I totally understand why he's acting this way. I didn't really realize what I said really meant. Christmas is three months from now. That's almost as long as we've known each other. That's not even nearly as long as we've actually been together. It may sound like wishful thinking but I agree with Harry. It's us until the end.

I bring my hand up to brush his hair back that had fallen over his face.

"This would be much more romantic if we weren't half naked."

He chuckles. "I think it makes it more romantic."

I roll my eyes and smile. "Seriously, what do you want for Christmas?"

I always stress about having to shop for people, especially knowing I have to find the perfect present for the ones closest to me. The longer I have, the less anxiety I will have.

He looks thoughtfully at me again but this time, it's accompanied with slight nervousness.

He clears his throat. "I, um...I was wondering if...if you wanted to spend Christmas with my family this year. I...I understand if you want to spend it with yours but I just wanted to put the option out there."

He looks away in nervousness but I bring my hand that was in his hair and rest it against his cheek to make him look back at me.

"I would love to."

Honestly, the thought of spending Christmas with his family fills my entire body with happiness. I mean, Christmas with my family is wonderful but it'd be nice to spend Christmas for the first time with Harry now that we're together.

His entire face lights up and he gives me one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen him give me.


I smile and nod. "Really. I already can't wait."

His smile widens even more before he leans in and kisses me, humming happily against my lips.

I pull away. "However, you're going to have to help me shop for your family. I have no idea what to get them."

He laughs and nods. "I will. We'll go Christmas shopping together."

Since the boys have a four-week break for the holidays, he'd be home with enough time for us to go shopping.

"You still didn't tell me what you wanted," I say, wrapping my arms around him again.

He takes one of his hands and brushes my hair behind my ear.

"I told you, I just want you to spend Christmas with me and my family. That's all I want."

Others would fine this cheesy but I find it endearing. I know how much he wants me to spend Christmas with him and his family but that doesn't mean I still can't find something for him. I guess it's better that he doesn't want anything else and asking for it. It'll be nice to surprise him with whatever I decide to get him.

"How about you?" he asks, breaking me from my thoughts. "What do you want for Christmas?"

I smile and dramatically tap my finger against my chin in thought.

" we argued about before, I would love to be able to ride your bike around whenever I want."

He rolls his eyes with a grin. "And like I argued back before, hell no. I'll just get you your-"

"Don't you even dare," I interrupt him. "I was just joking. Honestly, I don't want anything. I have all that I need." I bat my eyelashes to add to my cheesy statement. But it's true. I don't want anything. I have him and that's all I need. And the fact that I'm now spending Christmas with him, that's more than I could ever ask for.

"You're lying. You're a girl. I know there's at least one thing that you want."

"You're very wrong. I really don't want anything."

He narrows his eyes at me, like he thinks I'm testing him or I'm lying.

"I'm going to find out one way or another. I know there's something that you want."

I just roll my eyes and shake my head. "Okay, believe what you want and good luck trying to find out."

"How about this, we both get each other something and we won't get upset over it. I want to get you something and I know that you're going to get upset if you end up not getting me anything. So, yeah...we'll get each other gifts. We won't tell the other what we want so we won't have expectations."

I honestly like that idea. It's puts slightly less pressure on finding him the perfect gift.

"Fine but you can't get me get me a motorbike or...or a diamond-encrusted car or anything like that. Please." I plead. I know Harry. I know he'll do anything to make me happy. He'll buy anything to make me happy. But like I told him that time when he had helped me shop for things for my flat, I didn't need him to buy my happiness.

He gives me a toothy grin. "I promise. I know that it'd just make you mad instead of making you happy. I promise, I'm going to get you something that you're going to love."

I return his smile and move my arms up to wrap around his shoulders. "Perfect. I can't wait. For Christmas, I mean."

He leans down and gives me another kiss. "Me, too."

He places yet another kiss on my lips. "Now let's go take a shower and continue what we started before Niall rudely interrupted us."

I giggle and then squeal when he grabs the bottom of my thighs and lifts me up before turning around and carrying me to the bathroom.


*************************** I'll try to update again this weekend! No promises though. Also, someone messaged me on here and asked me for my reading list and I realized that the one I had was really old and hadn't been updated for maybe two years. So I made a new one and I called it 'Favourites' if you guys want to see the stories I've read or am currently reading that I think that you guys will like. Some of them are completed, some of them are still in progress. Also, some of them have mature content so read at your own discretion. I put the ones that had the most interesting and unique plots and storylines. You guys can find it in my profile and go to my reading lists and it's the one called 'Favourites'. Anyways, 35 votes and 15 comments, pretty please! Thanks for reading! <3
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