Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


150. Forts

Lily's POV

"Harry, stop it!"

I shove him away from me as he smirks at me while he grabs my arm and tries to make me stand on the glass floors. He has been teasing me non-stop that I had begged him to take me on the CN Tower yesterday and, now, I can't even walk on the glass floors, which is the main reason people go on here.

I know that the CN Tower is one of the tallest buildings in the world but I never actually thought that it would be this scary. The elevator ride up was scary enough, having to watch yourself go higher and higher with the glass window giving you a view of the ground getting smaller and smaller.

Now, at the main attraction of the tower, I still haven't been able to take one step on the glass floors. Everyone else has done it, even the girls after the lads had convinced them.

"Lily, it's not that bad. It feels scary at first but it goes away after a while."

I stand a couple of steps away from the glass where Harry is standing, both of his hands holding mine.

"But what if it breaks?" I stare wide-eyed at him, not daring to look down.

"Baby, this has been here for over 20 years. It has not broken once. I don't think that you'll be the one that breaks it after all this time."


"Just take slow steps until you're just on the edge and then we'll make our way to the middle."

I can feel him gently pull me towards him and I instantly tense up and start resisting.

"Wait!" I take a deep breath and glance down at the floor for a quick second before I take one step closer to Harry and the glass.

"That's it. You're almost there. Don't look down yet. Step on it first and then you can look."

I nod gently before I hold my breath and take the first step onto the glass floor. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach, the feeling of falling prickling my skin.

"Good. See? You're already on it. Just take a few more step and then you can look down. Okay?'

Again, all I can do is nod. I keep my eyes on Harry as he guides me further down the glass floor until we finally stop.

"You ready?" he asks.

I swallow, nodding as I try to remain calm.

He watches me and nods once. "You can look down now."

I keep my gaze on him for a few more seconds and then slowly trail my eyes down his face, down his chest, down his stomach, down his legs and finally, down to the floor.

I can feel my stomach flip as I see my feet looking like it's floating in air. And when I look past my feet and down at the bird's eye view of the city, I gasp and step up to Harry and quickly wrap my arms around his waist.

"See? It's not so bad, right?" he asks.

"It's so scary."

He chuckles slightly as he tightens his arms around me. "I thought you would be used to this since we've gone on the Eye multiple times."

"Harry, the Eye is nothing compared to this. This is frightening."

He laughs again. "Then I'm guessing you wouldn't particularly like me doing this."

I scrunch my eyebrows. "Do what?"

All of a sudden, Harry pulls away, grabbing both of my hands before he jumps up in the air and lands hard on the glass.

"Harry!" I scream. I try to tug away, attempting to go back on the safe carpeted floor but he keeps a tight grasp on my hands. "Stop it! Don't do that!"

All he does is laugh as he jumps again.

I can feel my stomach turning and my heart dropping as I continue to try to pull away.


"Lily, it's not going to break," he says, continuing to laugh. "It can literally hold up to four elephants at once."

He jumps again and when I feel the floor shake slightly, I suddenly start to feel tears well up in my eyes.

"Harry, let me go," I whisper shakily, noticing my voice catching slightly.

Harry's face falls as he takes in my distraught expression. As soon as he loosens his grip on my hands, I tug them away and turn around, heading for the middle of the room and towards the restroom.

I hear him call my name but I don't stop. I go through the door and head straight for the sink. I take a couple of deep breaths, attempting to calm myself down and to stop the tears from falling.

I know that he was just having a bit of fun but I was genuinely scared. A lot of people have a fear of heights, even if it's varying degrees, it's still there.

I finally stop shaking and pull myself together. I wipe underneath my eyes, drying the remaining tears before I take a deep breath and decide to head back out. I open the door and I'm immediately met face-to-face with Harry.

He's looking at me with so much guilt and worry as I cross my arms and step out and to the side, Harry following me.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," he finally says. "I never meant to scare you."

"So why'd you do that?"

"I...I thought that you were okay already. I thought it would make you laugh."

"I was on that thing for five seconds so you thought I'd find it funny if you jumped on it? Even after I told you to stop?"

"I know. I--"

"I know that that's been there for over 20 years. I know that it won't break, even if four fucking elephants deciding to come up here and stand on it. I know that I won't be the only one on the face of the earth that would make it break by standing on it. I'm still scared to be on it! Okay?"

I'm glad that the lads had decided to book out the whole top floor to ourselves. I know that anyone can hear us right now so I'm glad that there are no strangers here to eavesdrop on us.

Harry just continues to look at me with guilt, his hands in his pockets as he keeps his mouth shut.

"I know that I asked you to take me here so, yes, this is technically my fault but you have no right to make me do anything else that I'm not comfortable with. I don't have to stand on the glass floors. I was fine with the view from the observation deck but I was absolutely not comfortable with the glass."

He finally nods. "I...I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I'm so sorry. I know you probably want to push me out of the window right now. I wouldn't blame you. Or you can find four elephants and have them all sit on me. I deserve it. I'm so sorry, baby."

Knowing that it was what he was trying to do, I can't hold back the smile that tugs slightly on my lips. I know that I made it into a big issue but I was honestly scared. I've never been on a building this high so I never knew that my fear of heights was at this level of degree.

But at least now I do. And so does Harry.

"I accept your apology. And you're lucky I am because I wouldn't have this quickly but I don't want to spend the rest of my time here pretending to be still mad at you."

Harry finally relaxes, a smile appearing on his face at the same time that one does on mine. He steps up to me and wraps his arms around my shoulder, pulling me flush against his body.

"I'm so so so so sorry." He kisses the top of my head, giving me one last squeeze before he pulls away and takes my hands. "Let's get out of here. I'm already tired of it."

I roll my eyes with a smile, letting him lead me to the elevator.

"What're we going to do now?"

He puckers his lips in thought before he looks back at me. "How about we go back to the hotel and I can make up for being a horrible boyfriend? We can do whatever you want."

I raise an eyebrow at him, smiling in amusement. "Anything?"

He rolls his eyes with a smile before narrowing them at me in wariness. "Okay, not anything. Last time I agreed to that, you put makeup all over my face."

I laugh. "Well, you're the one that wanted to stay the night even though I warned you that Ed might have come home early, which he did, which ended up with you getting punched in the face."

"I'd be okay with getting punched in the face a million times if it meant I got to experience that week with you again."

My face softens at his confession, his eyes darting around my face looking like he's getting lost taking in my features while, at the same time, looking like he's putting all of his attention onto me.

"And I'd take a million more punches just to be able to feel what I felt when I first told you that I was in love with you that same night."

By now, butterflies are raging in my stomach, my heart fluttering as I look into his bright eyes, still left speechless by his words. He remains quiet with me, just letting our eyes lock, our arms still wrapped around each other without a care about the world going on around us.

Who would look at us right now and think that we literally were just in a fight not even five minutes ago? I surely wouldn't even guess that.

Once again, he proves to me that he does indeed love me more each day, just like I do with him.


"I can't believe you're making me do this."

I laugh as I watch Harry sitting on the edge of the bed beside the hotel phone. We had gone back to the hotel right after the CN Tower, wanting us to be alone for the rest of the day after the words exchanged. So now, here we are in our bathrobes, being lazy in our room.

"Just do it already!" I laugh.

He takes a deep breath before he picks up the phone and calls room service.

"Hi, this is Harry Styles from room 1208. I was wondering if you would be able to bring up 20 pillows to my room?"

Thankfully, I can hear the voice from the other end.

"20 pillows?"

"Yes, 20." I can see how embarrassed he is as he scratches the back of his neck, while I just lie behind him and try not to laugh out loud.

"May I ask why, sir?"

Harry clears his throat, surely trying to think of a good enough excuse to not make the hotel think that he's doing anything weird with 20 pillows. But surely they must know who Harry is and will probably get him anything he asks for.

"I don't know. My girlfriend's just weird."

I quietly scoff and smack his back, earning a smirk from him over his shoulder.

Surprisingly, the man on the phone laughs. "I get it. I completely understand. Alright, well I'll have someone bring up the 20 pillows as soon as possible. Anything else I can get for you, sir? Or for your girlfriend?"

Harry laughs. "No, that's all. Thank you so much. I gotta go back to my weird girlfriend now."

I hear the man laugh again as I narrow my eyes at Harry, who just gives me a goofy smile before he hangs up.

"20 pillows, coming up." He goes to lay down beside me again, resting his hands behind his head.

"So I'm weird, huh?" I turn to my side, resting my head on my hand.

"Yup. You're lucky I didn't say my crazy-ass girlfriend."

As hard as I try, I can't help but laugh as I smack him again. "You're funny."

"What the hell do you need with 20 pillows, anyway?"

"I want to make a fort. I haven't made one since I was a kid."

He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. "Out of all of the things we could be doing tonight, you choose to make a fort?"

"And what did you have in mind?" I ask with a quirk of my brow.

He shrugs with faux innocence on his face. "I don't know. Maybe something that involves the two of us with our clothes off."

I roll my eyes, expecting that kind of answer from him.

"Oh, be quiet and help me with the fort."

I start to get out of bed to start when I feel something smack me on my back. I turn around and Harry is kneeling on the bed with a pillow in his hand and a goofy smile on his face.


I can't even get one word out before he hits me with the pillow again, this time right on the side of my head, making me stumble slightly.

I gasp in shock but soon a smile spreads across my face. "You're gonna regret starting a pillow fight with me."

I quickly grab the closest pillow and swing it at him but he dodges it by rolling backwards off the bed.

"Come and get me," he teases, a mischievous smile curling across his lips.

I jump on the bed, standing on my feet as I swing at him. However, he blocks it with his own pillow. This time, he swings towards me but I twist to dodge it, just barely. The room is filled with both of our laughs and shouts, each of us able to get a couple of good hits on the other. The pillows are all over the bed, with more than half of them now on the floor after being thrown around. And now we each stand with one pillow each, me standing on the bed and Harry on the ground right across from me. Still with smiles on our faces but now both breathless, we wait for the other to make the first move.

"What are you waiting for, babe?" he says, swinging his pillow back as he gets ready.

"Ladies first," I retort.

Getting the exact reaction I wanted from him, he swings towards me. But since I expected it, I moved out of the way and swing at him. I hit him right in his face and I burst out in laughter at the dumbfounded expression. As soon as he recovers from the hit, he playfully growls and grabs my pillow, pulling me harshly towards him as I continue to laugh. He grabs onto the backs of my legs and tugs, forcing me to fall back on the bed. He now has both of the pillows in his hands and he starts to hit me with them one at a time, over and over again, however, not as hard as he did before. I hold my hands up in front of me defensively as he keeps going.

"Harry, stop!" I shriek, unable to stop laughing.

He laughs with me, his hits getting softer and softer each time until he finally stops. Our laughter dies down as we try to catch our breaths. I look up at him and see a wide smile on his face and then I see his eyes trail down my body. I look down and notice that my robe had loosened slightly during his attack.

"Like what you see, babe?" I ask, running my fingers down the exposed skin of my chest.

I can see his pupils dilate as he bites his lip. He moves closer to me and runs his hands up my thighs. Knowing he's distracted, I take the pillow that he had dropped right beside me and I hit him on the side of his head, the shocked expression once again present on his face.

"We're making the fort first."

I roll out away from him and stand up out of bed before I reach up and give him a kiss on his cheek.

"Please?" I add for extra effect, knowing how much he hates it when I tease him.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Fine."

However, as soon as I take a step to turn around, he reaches towards me and tugs on the belt of my robe, causing it to open, exposing me to him.

"But we're doing it with our clothes off."

I roll my eyes at him before it turns into a glare when I see the smug grin on his face as his eyes sweep down my body.


"I give up!" I shout, throwing my hands up in the air. Harry and I have been trying to make this fort for the past hour but it either sucks or it keeps falling over.

"I told you, we should've just used our time having sex."

I narrow my eyes at him and cross my arms in frustration. I see all of these really cool forts that people make on Tumblr, ones big enough to lie down in and relax with someone.

"You're not helping. We could've had sex in the fort if it wasn't so damn hard."

Suddenly, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me up, making me shout in surprise as I wrap my legs around his waist and clutch his shoulders.

"How about we just make love in our super comfortable bed? You're just getting yourself more and more stressed over this stupid fort."

He brings me to the bed and we fall down on it with him on top of me. I pout as I look up at him as he rests his body on his elbows and runs one of his hands through my hair.

"I really thought we could make one. My dad and I used to make the best forts when I was a kid. Maybe men learn it in some unknown 'make a fort' course when they become a dad."

Harry laughs before he leans down and places a kiss on the top of my head.

"It wasn't meant to be, baby. Maybe I'll grow fort-making superpowers in the future when I become a dad."

"You better or I'll leave you and find someone who does."

He playfully glares at me and pinches my side. "How sweet."

I just laugh and reach up to give him a kiss. "We still had fun though, didn't we?"

"I had a lot of fun. Especially when you'd bend over and I'd look at that cute, little butt of yours."

We're still naked from when Harry had set his only rule for the fort-making.

"I think your butt is cuter," I respond. "And littler."

"Is it?"

He makes a show of reaching behind him and feeling his own bum before he reaches behind me and squeezes mine, making me go into a fit of giggles as I slap his hand away.

"Okay, mine is littler," he admits. "But it's also firmer."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you saying is squishier?"

"Yes." He leans down and kisses me. "Just the way I like it."

I roll my eyes. "So, what're we going to do tomorrow?"

"Well, we have a couple of interviews to do but it's in the morning. So, we'll have the whole day to ourselves after."

"Good. Am I able to go to the interviews with you?"

"Of course."

"What time do we have to leave?"

"I think 7?"

I look over at the time and gasp, my eyes widening.

"I didn't know it was this late! We have to sleep now if we're going to wake up early."

He pouts as I roll away from under him and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"But we didn't get to make love."

I laugh as I start brushing my teeth. "Maybe tomorrow, babe."

"But I want to have sex with you now," he whines like a little kid.

I roll my eyes and turn away from him. "I don't want to be the reason why you're tired tomorrow."

"I won't be tired. I promise."

I face him again and shake my head. "No, Harry."

"Yes, Harry," he mocks as he gets out of bed and makes his way towards me.

"No." I turn around when he stops right behind me, both of us facing the mirror.

He wraps his arms around me and leans down to place a kiss on my shoulder.

"Yes," he whispers, placing another kiss on my neck.

I struggle to keep control as I lean forward to spit out the toothpaste. I rinse my mouth before I stand back up and face him, my eyes meeting his.

"We...we shouldn't, Harry," my voice is weak, not strength behind my words.

"Why not?" he says softly as he nudges his nose along my jawline.

I swallow harshly, my heart beating loud. " have to get up early tomorrow...and you'll be tired."

"I promise." He kisses my collarbone. "I won't be tired." Another kiss on my neck."

I groan, my self-control dwindling, even though it probably was back when I was lying underneath him five minutes ago.


Not wasting another second, he lifts me in his arms and carries me back to the bed, starting something that brought us to the early hours of the morning.


Well, hello, again. Long time, no see. I guess I'm making this a habit of having to apologize every time I get a new chapter out these days. I had a little bit of motivation this past week to finally finish this chapter that I had started a few months ago but yeah work and life kept getting in the way.

Hopefully now that Harry's back with the album and all this promo and the concerts and the movie coming out, I'll be motivated even more to keep writing a lot faster.

Anyway, let me know what you think. I promise things will get intense soon. Like I've said before, it's all lovey-dovey lately so you know what that means! DRAMA SOON!

Also, what do you think of Harry's new album? Which are your favourite songs? Mine are Sweet Creature, Sign of the Times and Only Angel.

And I also love Niall's 'Slow Hands'! That's my jam!

Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! Hopefully I'll get something else out soon!

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