Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.

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3. Exes

Lily's POV

 

“You go to University of Manchester, too?” Eleanor asked. “How come I’ve never seen you around?”

“Yeah, I’m in my second and final year. And probably because I was either in class or in my dorm. I didn’t have a social life because--”

I stopped myself before I started talking about Marcus. I didn’t want them to know about him. I didn’t want them to see me as a girl who let someone have complete control over them. I sat there nervously as the girls waited for me to finish my sentence.

“Because she was a nerd and hated people.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked up to see Ed coming over before sitting down beside me. After smacking him on his shoulder, I laughed along with the girls.

“I was not and I did not hate people.”

He just shrugged while he took a sip of his beer.

“So, anyways, yeah, I was just dealing with a lot of things but hopefully my last year will be better.”

“We’ll definitely meet up and I’ll make sure that we have the best final year. It’s my last year as well.”

“That’s great. Can’t wait!” I was now excited knowing that Eleanor goes to the same university as me. It’d be nice to have a friend, someone to talk to, someone to hang out with on the weekends. I was deprived of having friends in my first year and it caused me to miss out of having a normal university life.

I’m going to make sure that everything will change this year.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Harry and Niall came to join the rest of us in the living room.

“Babe, we should go, it’s getting late.” Sophia nudged a sleepy-looking Liam before both of them got up.

“Yeah, we should head out. Thanks for having us over, Ed,” Liam said before Ed got up and gave him a bro-hug.

“No problem, mate. Thanks for coming.”

“See you guys,” Liam said as we all stood up to say goodbye to him. He hugged everyone else before he turned to me last.

“It was nice meeting you, Lily. We should all hang out again sometime.” He gave me a hug before he pulled away, allowing Sophia to take her turn.

“Yeah, it was great meeting you, too. And you, too, Sophia.” I gave them both a smile before they headed out the door.

We all sat back down and silence filled the room except for the music playing lightly in the background.

I tried to stifle a yawn but it escaped, causing Ed to look at me.

“You should get some sleep. You’ve had a long day.” He gave me an understanding smile.

“It’s okay. I don’t want to be rude and sleep while you guys are still here.”

I really was quite tired but I tried to hide it. I guess I couldn’t hide it good enough.

“It’s okay. We understand,” Perrie said. “We’ll all hang out again soon so we can get to know to better. Really, it’s okay. Get some sleep.” She gave me a friendly smile.

She was honestly one of the sweetest people I’ve met. I could tell she’d be a wonderful friend.

“Thank you,” I said before standing up. “It was great meeting all of you. Hope to see all of you soon.”

Perrie stood up, giving me a hug. “We will see each other soon. Actually, why don’t you give me your number and we’ll make plans?” She pulled back before pulling her phone out of her pocket.

“Sure,” I said. I gave her my number, seeing Eleanor putting it in her phone as well.

Everyone stood up and I gave each of them an awkward hug and saying goodnight.

Apart from Ed, I gave Harry a hug last. Once again, he gave me his killer, dimpled smile.

“Good night, Lily.”

“Good night, Harry.” My voice came out in a squeak and I cleared my throat before pulling away.

I turned around to face Ed.

“Good night, Ed.” I gave him the biggest hug; silently thanking him for everything he’s done for me lately.

“Night, Lil. Get some rest, I have a big day planned for us tomorrow.” I smiled as he pulled back.

“I will.” I turned around, giving them a small wave before heading to my room. I changed into a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt before going into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I basically walked back to my room and collapsed in my bed, sleep taking over me the second my head hit the pillow.

**

I woke up with the sun hitting my face. I felt energized as I looked at the clock and realized that I got about 9 hours of sleep. I stretched before getting up and going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I heard some clatter from the kitchen, knowing Ed was awake. I put my hair up into a bun before heading to the kitchen. I could hear the tap running right before I entered the kitchen, yawning as I walked through.

“Morning, Ed.”

“Good morning, Lily.”

That was not Ed’s voice.

My head snapped up and my eyes widened when I saw Harry smiling back at me with a mug in his hands.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were Ed.”

He laughed as he took a step back to lean against the counter.

“It’s alright. He’s still sleeping.”

“Oh, okay.” I paused as I thought about what to say next. “Umm, not to be rude or anything but what are you doing here?”

“Oh. I was too tired to go home last night so I crashed here.”

I nodded. “Oh, okay.”

What an awkward conversation.

I looked away from his gaze as I awkwardly walked over to the coffee machine to pour myself a cup of coffee. Since it was right beside Harry, I had to maneuver around him as I went into the fridge to get some milk. I felt his gaze on me the entire time. When I was finished making my coffee, I walked around the counter and sat down on one of the chairs. Harry turned around to face me as he put his coffee mug on the counter.

“So, how did you and Ed meet?” I asked, trying to start a conversation.

“We met through the guitarist of his band. We hung out at a couple of his parties and we’ve become great friends since then. I’m sure you know that he’s written a couple of songs for us and he opened some shows for us as well.”

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s talked a lot about you guys. He loves working with you guys.”

Harry smiled thoughtfully at what I just shared, realizing how great of a friend he was to Ed. Ed was protective of me and I was protective of him as well. I looked out for him. And in the business he’s in, I was always worried that people would use him for fame or money.

But I could tell that Harry and the rest of the boys were genuine.

“Yeah, we love working with him, too. So, how did you two meet?”

I held back a smile as I took in his question. “Did you want to hear the real story or the story that Ed tells everyone?”

Harry looked at me with confusion and amusement on his face.

“The real story. And then Ed’s story.”

I laughed before memories of how me and Ed met flashed through my mind.

“Well, I was 5 and he was 7. We went to the same school and I was just playing on the monkey bars, hanging upside down when I saw a couple of kids picking on Ed. They took his glasses and held it up out of Ed’s reach and then they started passing it between them. I could see Ed getting upset so I got down from the monkey bars and went up to them. I asked them to give his glasses back but they just laughed at me. When I was starting to get annoyed, I went up to the one that had the glasses and…kicked him where it hurt.”

Harry burst out laughing, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his dimples showing. I laughed along with him and once he was able to calm down a bit, I continued my story.

“So I grabbed the glasses out of his hands and then walked up to the other kid but he just ran away. The one who I kicked in the balls got up and ran away after his friend. I gave Ed his glasses back and went back to the monkey bars. I was hanging upside down again and I closed my eyes for a few seconds and when I opened them, Ed was hanging upside down on the monkey bars in front of me. And that’s where our friendship started.”

Harry was smiling at me as I finished the story, giving me butterflies in my stomach.

“That’s a great story. That was very heroic of you.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘heroic’. I just consider it being a human being. Everyone should be like that. The world would be a much friendlier place.”

He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read before he smiled. “Why doesn't Ed want people to know that?”

I giggled and rolled my eyes. “He doesn’t want people to know that a girl two years younger than him stood up for him when he was seven.”

Harry laughed. “So what does he tell people when he asks how you guys met?”

“He tells them that I was the one being bullied and that he saved me.”

“Are you serious? Wow,” he said, laughing once again.

“That’s Ed for you.”

Silence filled the room as we both took sips of our coffee.

“So, what are you and Ed up to today?” Harry said, breaking the silence.

“He’s going to show me around London today,” I said, excitedly. “The last time I was here, it was only for the day and I didn’t get to see much.”

“Yeah, you definitely need more than a day if you want to see the best of London. Make sure you go on the London Eye at night. It’s such a great view.”

“I’ll mention that to Ed.” Silence. And then a thought came to my head. “Hey, why don’t you come with us? I mean, if you don’t have any other plans today.”

His face lit up and a smile appeared on his face. “Really? You don’t mind? I thought that since you just got here, you’d want to spend some time with Ed.”

“I don’t mind at all. Don’t worry, I have the whole summer to spend time with Ed. Plus, he’ll probably be less annoying if you’re with us.”

He laughed. “Yeah, that’d be great. I have nothing else to do today.”

“Great!”

When I looked up at him, I could feel my gaze locking with his as silence filled the air. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted when Ed came walking into the kitchen. He walked past me and ruffled my hair.

“Morning.”

“Morning, Edward.”

He groaned as he poured himself a cup of coffee, earning a grin from Harry.

“Morning, Ed. Thanks again for letting me crash here.”

“No problem, mate.”

“So…I invited Harry to go around London with us.”

Ed turned around and looked between us.

“I mean, if that’s okay with you,” Harry said.

Ed looked between us couple more times before he shook his head.

“Yeah, of course you can come.”

I couldn’t help the smile that appeared on my face and I looked over at Harry to see he was smiling as well.

“Great,” I said as I hopped off of the stool. “Well, I’m going to go get ready.” I turned around, leaving the two boys before heading to my room to get ready.

I put on a pair of jean shorts, a black tank top and a red and black plaid shirt. I brushed my hair and put it back into a more presentable bun before putting on some combat boots. I put on some makeup and perfume before I grabbed my sunglasses and headed back to the living room. Ed and Harry seemed to have gotten ready in the time that I was getting ready as I saw them sitting on the couch with a new set of clothes.

“Are you wearing Ed’s clothes?” I asked Harry as I took a seat beside Ed. Ed was fixated on his phone as Harry looked up at me. His eyes widened for a second before he composed himself.

“Oh. Um, no. I crash here a lot so I always have some clothes here in case.”

I just nodded in reply. “Shall we go?” I asked as I looked at Ed, who was still glued to his phone. When Ed didn’t respond, I grabbed his phone out of his hand.

“Hey!”

“Can we go?” I asked as I put his phone under my leg.

“Yes, now give me my phone back.”

I rolled my eyes before handing him his phone back.

Then we got up and headed out the door.

**

Harry’s POV

We were walking around Hyde Park and Lily was currently busy taking pictures of the scenery. I didn’t notice I was watching her until Ed cleared his throat.

I wiped the smile off of my face before I turned to look at Ed.

“Do you like her?”

My eyes widened at his question and I instantly grew nervous.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant as I pretended to be interested in the tree beside us.

Seconds passed by in silence before I nervously looked back at Ed. He was just looking at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you like Lily?”

I gulped as I took in his question. Ed was never this blunt about anything before, especially about girls.

“What makes you think I like her?”

I looked over at Lily to see that she was still preoccupied with her surroundings. The conversation we had this morning about how her and Ed met flashed through my mind. I found her story endearing. She seemed like she really cared about the people she cared about and even towards people she didn’t know. People who were complete strangers to her. She was also humble about everything and it was charming. She seems down to earth and I like that about people.

“Well, you haven’t taken your eyes off of her all day today and even last night. I don’t blame you, Harry. She’s a nice girl, one of the most amazing people I know.” He paused as he looked at me with the most serious face I’ve ever seen him give me. “But I’m just looking out for her. She just had her heart broken by the one that she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with. I don’t want her getting hurt again.”

If I did have feelings for her, what makes you think I’m going to hurt her?” I emphasized the word ‘if’ to reassure him that I didn’t have feelings for her.

Did I?

“I’m going to be completely honest here and don’t take this the wrong way but…if you two were to be together, I don’t think she could handle the pressure. With the fans sending death threats and you being away a lot, I don’t think that’s the type of relationship she wants. Or needs.”

I was starting to get upset and frustrated. I hated people judging me based on what comes with my fame. I just want people to look at me as Harry Styles, a normal guy. The media and my fans have scrutinized my past relationships and I wasn’t able to see whether the relationship would work had it not been for that.

And how could Ed talk about what Lily wants or needs? The only person that can decide that for Lily is her. No one else.

But I didn’t say that him.

“She needs friends right now. Just promise me that it’ll remain like that between you two. You’ll find another girl like her. Okay?”

I looked up at him and forced a smile.

“Sure.”

He smiled at me. “Thanks, mate. I’m just a bit protective of her. Sorry if I sound like a prick. I hope you understand how I feel.”

“Of course. Don’t worry about it.” Along with my smile, I forced those words to come out of my mouth.

I guess it was good that Ed told me this now before I possibly fell in too deep. But I can’t shake the feeling that I just agreed to something that I’m going to regret.

As Ed’s phone rang and he walked away to answer it, I looked over at Lily again. She had the biggest smile on her face as an old lady gave her a piece of bread and then walking carefully to the tree where a squirrel was, she crouched down to feed it.

Making sure that Ed was still on the phone, I walked over to Lily and crouched down beside her.

“You know the squirrels here are rabid?” I said to her.

She jerked her hand back, screaming and grabbed me before standing up and taking a few steps back. She had her arms around me as I laughed at her.

She looked terrified but then it turned to confusion as she watched me laughing. I could smell her perfume and I only noticed the hazel colour of her eyes with flecks of gold as we stood close to each other. I snapped out of my thoughts as my laughter died down.

“I was just kidding.” I gave her a smirk.

She pulled away and smacked my arm. “That was not funny. I nearly had a heart attack.”

“Sorry.” I grinned at her and she tried to put on a serious face but a smile crept through instead.

“Now, you owe me ice cream.”

I laughed. “I guess that’s fair.” I scanned the park for the nearest ice cream stand and found one a bit down the pathway. “There’s one. Let’s go.”

We walked over to the ice cream stand and I paid for two chocolate ice cream cones. I handed her one and we walked back towards Ed, who was still on the phone.

“Who is Ed talking and texting to on the phone all the time?” I asked.

“I have no idea.”

Me and Lily ate our ice cream as we waited for Ed to finish his phone call.

“You have some ice cream on your lip,” she said, pointing to the corner of her mouth to show me where it was on my face.

I tried to lick it off since I forgot to grab napkins.

“Still there.”

I tried licking it again, growing embarrassed at my attempt to lick the ice cream off.

“Here, let me get it.”

Before I realized what she was doing, she brought her hand up to my face before taking her thumb and lightly rubbing it over the corner of my lips. The tips of her fingers sent electricity throughout my body as she concentrated on getting the ice cream off.

“There you go,” she said, as she ran her thumb over the corner of my lips one last time. I could still feel her touch on my skin as I looked at her intently. She smiled before looking up at me, her face softening as she took in my expression.

When I was finally able to snap back to reality, I cleared my throat and looked away.

I have to stop this. I made a promise to Ed. I can’t let my…feelings?...grow for her more. Things had to stay strictly on a friends-basis between us.

“Thank you,” I mumbled.

“No problem.”

She turned away again and I followed her gaze towards a couple sitting on the bench acting all lovey-dovey together. I looked back at Lily and saw sadness in her eyes. I felt sorry for her for what happened. She didn’t deserve to get hurt, especially by someone that she loved.

I wanted to help her fix her heart.

But Ed just basically told me that she’s off-limits.

But I can still help her by being there for her as a friend.

Yeah, I can do that.

She pulled her gaze away from the couple and gave me a sad smile before heading towards Ed. I followed after her and when we reached Ed, he said something on the phone and quickly hung up.

Why was he being all weird?

“Hey, you guys ready for lunch?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m starving!” Lily responded.

I just nodded as Lily linked her arm through Ed’s and they walked side-by-side with me walking on Lily’s other side.

Together, we walked back to Ed’s car before we all hopped into the car.

As Ed drove out of the parking lot, I turned on the radio and ‘Clarity’ started playing. I liked this song so I kept it on.

Silence filled the car apart from the radio but then I could hear Lily softly singing in the seat behind me. I looked in the side mirror and I could see her on her phone as her mouth moved as she sang along quietly.

I tried to lean back more so I could hear her better. I was still watching her through the mirror and when she looked up and saw me, she immediately stopped, a blush appearing on her cheeks. She looked away but I kept my eyes on her to see if she would start singing again.

But she didn’t.

The car remained quiet for the rest of the car ride until we got to the restaurant. We all got out and we headed inside before taking a seat in the booth near the back of the restaurant. Ed sat down first and I sat down on the other side, thinking that Lily wanted to sit beside him. But it surprised me when Lily took the seat beside me.

I hesitantly looked over at Ed but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it as he looked down at the menu. I cleared my throat before looking down at my own.

The seats weren’t that big so Lily’s arm would brush against mine occasionally.

We ordered our food and we gave our menus to our waitress.

“So, where are we going after?” Lily asked before taking a sip of her water.

“I was thinking Buckingham Palace and then the London Eye last so we can go on when it’s night time,” Ed answered.

“Oh yeah, Harry told me to go at night time.”

Ed looked between us and was about to say something when his phone started ringing. It was on the table and he was about to grab it but Lily beat him to it.

“Who are you always talking to on the phone?”

Ed quickly stood up and leaned over the table to try and get it phone but Lily kept it out of reach.

“Lily, give it back!”

Lily didn’t answer him and just looked at the phone, checking the caller ID.

“Who’s Taylor?”

Ed straightened up and put his hand over his face.

Was she talking to Taylor, my ex?

“Lily, really?” Ed asked.

Lily looked at him in confusion before her eyes widened and she looked over at me. She quickly handed the phone back to Ed.

“Shoot. I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know.”

I know it shouldn’t bother me that Ed was talking to her but I know that they’re close friends.

“We’re just talking about some music that we’re working on together,” Ed explained.

“It’s alright, mate. I understand.” I gave him a reassuring smile. Things between me and Taylor weren’t bitter anymore. We’ve both moved on now.

Ed nodded before he spoke again. “I should call her back. We’re supposed to be working on a new song tomorrow.”

“Yeah, man, that’s cool. Don’t worry about it.”

Once again, Ed just nodded before he got up and headed outside to make his call. Right as he left, our waitress came over and gave us our food.

I looked over at Lily and saw her playing with her food.

“I’m really sorry about that. If I had known--”

“It’s okay, Lily. I really don’t mind. It was a long time ago, I’ve moved on now. And I know they’re good friends.”

“Okay,” she said while nodding. I could tell she still felt bad about it.

“Hey, what did one squirrel say to the other?”

A smile broke onto her face as she looked at me.

She shrugged, her eyes twinkling. “I don’t know.”

“Nothing. Cause squirrels can’t talk.”

She burst out laughing and I laughed along with her.

“That is the best and worst joke I’ve ever heard,” she said while still laughing.

“What? Excuse me, that joke was hilarious,” I said, putting my hand over my heart to make it seem like I was offended.

“Okay, keep telling yourself that,” she teased. She gave me a smile before turning back to her food and taking a bite.

“I really am sorry,” she said after a few moments of silence. “I know what it’s like when exes come up in conversation.”

I looked over at her and saw pain in her eyes.

“Did you want to talk about it?”

She gave me a weak smile as she shook her head. “It’s okay. I mean, maybe not right now. I’m not ready to talk about it yet. I was barely able to talk about it with Ed when I called him before I came here. I guess I just need some time.”

I nodded. “I understand. I know we’ve just met but I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready to talk about it.”

Her smile finally reached her eyes as she looked up at me. “Thank you, Harry. I’ll keep that in mind.”

We went back to eating our food and then we were interrupted when Lily’s phone started ringing. She took it out of her pocket before looking at it.

Her eyebrows furrowed the second that she looked at her phone. Several different emotions playing on her face.

“Speaking of exes.”

I thought that she would take the phone call somewhere more private but she just answered the phone as anger appeared on her features.

“What do you want, Marcus?”

So his name is Marcus.

I could hear a voice on the other end but I couldn’t tell what he was saying.

I could see Lily getting angrier as she listened.

“Well, you know what? I don’t care if you miss me or that you realized that you made a mistake. You lost me the second that you decided to cheat on me.”

She paused to listen once again.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable as I pretended to focus on eating my food.

“I will never take you back in a million years. Why don’t you go back to that tramp that you were sleeping with at that party?”

She paused once again.

“I never want you to speak to me again. Don’t bother calling me. I don’t even want to see your face anymore. If you see me in school next semester, don’t even try to come up to me and talk to me. Good bye, Marcus.”

Not letting him respond, she hung up the phone and placed it on the table before resting her elbows on the table and putting her face into her hands.

I let a few seconds pass by before I decided to say something.

“Are you okay, Lily?”

What I got in response was what I was scared of. She started crying.

I hesitantly moved closer to her and put my arm around her and used my other one to rub her arm. She started crying harder as she leaned her head onto my chest. I was frozen at first, scared that Ed might come in and get mad at me. But I just brushed that thought away, realizing that she needed to be comforted right now.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.”

I let her calm down a bit and when she was able to, she pulled back slightly.

Lily’s POV

I waited until I was able to stop crying before leaning back a bit to look at Harry.

“Is it bad that I almost wanted to take him back?” I sniffled. “After what he did to me, I’d let myself take him back. I promised myself that once someone cheats on me, there’s no second chances.”

He just looked at her for a while, looking like he was thinking hard about what to say.

“But you didn’t. You stayed strong and you gave him what he deserved. He made a huge mistake. He lost an amazing girl and you did the right thing by not giving him another chance. Not everyone deserves one, especially with what he did to you.”

His words made me feel better but it also gave me a good feeling inside. We just continued to look at each other before I realized that I hadn’t said anything in response to his sweet words.

“Thank you, Harry.” I grabbed the napkin and wiped under my eyes before blowing my nose.

How embarrassing.

“Sorry for burdening you with this.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I was about to say something but I saw Ed about to come in.

“Please don’t say anything to Ed about this. I don’t want him to worry about it. I’ll tell him later.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said while nodding.

I looked down at my food and took a bite as Ed came and sat back down in his seat.

“Sorry about that. I promise, that was the last phone call. No more phone calls for the rest of the day."

He looked up at me to give me a smile but it quickly faded once he did.

“Lily, were you crying?”

He looked over at Harry but Harry had his head down, looking at his food.

“No. I bit my tongue and it really hurt. My eyes just got a bit watery,” I lied. He looked at me like he didn’t believe me. He looked at Harry once again and then back to me.

“You should eat. Your food’s getting cold.” I forced a smile on my face as I gestured to his food. He looked at me for a while longer before he gave up and turned to his food.

My shoulders slumped in relief before I went back to finishing my food. I could see how uncomfortable Harry was at the moment so I placed my hand on top of his, which was resting on his leg and gave it a light squeeze. He tensed and his eyes widened for a second before he looked at me.

I gave him a small smile and mouth a ‘thank you’ to him, earning a smile in return. I let go of his hand and we went back to finishing our food.

 

******

 

I know this part isn't really that exciting but I wanted to take this story slow between Lily and Harry. I don't want to just have them already falling in love with each other right away. I want them to get to know each other more.

So since it wasn't really and exciting chapter, I made it extra long :)

Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think of the story so far. I'd really love to hear some feedback to see what you guys like and don't like about it. I'm open to any opinions.

Thank you so much for reading. Can't believe I already have over 100 reads after just one chapter! Thank you guys so much! :)

Pleeeeease like and favourite as well. And I'm going to be doing shoutouts again so whoever has the best comment will get a shoutout for one of their stories :)

If you're a new reader, go check out my other fanfic "Gotta Be You" :)

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Love you guys :)

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