Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


118. Cold Mornings


Lily's POV

I wake up to the sound of a phone ringing. As soon as my senses start to work, I realize that it's Harry's phone. I'm still half-asleep so I can't be bothered to answer it or at least turn it off. Eventually, it stops ringing but by then, I'm fully awake.

I'm still draped over Harry's bare body, my arm and my leg hanging over him and my body flush against his side. I slowly open my eyes, Harry's chest and the tattoos scattered around it the first thing I see.

I watch as his chest rises and falls slowly and evenly and then I place my hand over his heart, letting the beat pulse underneath my touch.

Slowly, I raise myself up to rest on my elbow, resting my chin on my hand as I gaze down at Harry's still sleeping figure. I take my other hand that was placed on his chest and start tracing lazy circles around his bird tattoos.

I glance over at the clock on my bedside table and see that it's seven in the morning. This is the time I usually wake up but I know that Harry won't be waking up any time soon.

But of course, I want him to.

I decide to move down to his butterfly tattoo, adding a little bit more pressure as I trace around it.

I can see him start to stir but I can tell that he's fighting to stay asleep.

That's when I decide to move down to his leaf tattoos on his hips. This time, I lighten my touch, just barely grazing over his skin. I run my fingers along his hips, slowly trying to coax him out of his sleep.

I know that I've finally woken him when I feel his fingers run along my spine slowly. He turns his head towards me, a lazy smile spreading across his face.

"Morning," he mumbles, his voice low and laced with sleep, just like his eyes as he tries to blink the heaviness away.

I smile down at him and continue to run my finger back around one of his bird tattoos.


His finger resumes tracing up and down my spine and he rests his other hand underneath his head.

"Why are you up so early?" he asks, glancing at the clock before turning back to me.

"Your phone woke me up. Someone called you."

He groans as he stretches, still continuing his gentle tracing along my back. He turns slightly to grab his phone, turning it on and staring at the screen.

"It's my mum," he says. "Hold on, let me just call her back."

I just smile and nod but don't move from my spot. Harry doesn't move, either. He just pulls me closer as he looks at his phone. He puts it up to his ear as he looks back at me.

I can hear the call from where I am so both of us wait for an answer.

A few rings later, it finally stops.


"Hi, mum. How are you?"

"Hi, Harry. I'm good. How are you? Did I wake you?"

He smiles at me. "No, just Lily. I was sleeping like a baby."

I blush slightly at the thought that she must realize that Harry and I are sleeping together in the same bed. Harry doesn't even realize or care.

"Oh, good, so you're both awake. I was just calling to see if you two would like to drop by for lunch. I know you're going to be here in London for the weekend so I just wanted to invite you two over. Gemma's coming over today, as well."

Harry raises his eyebrows at me, silently asking me what I think.

I nod, giving him another smile.

"We'd love to. We're in Manchester right now and we have a party tonight there in London but we can definitely drop by for lunch. What time?"

"As early as you can make it. Maybe 12? Since it takes four hours to get here. Is that enough time?"

"That's perfect. We'll be there."

"Great! I can't wait. I've missed you so much. And Lily, as well."

My smile widens as I listen and I know that Harry's aware that I can hear their conversation because he smiles back at me.

"I miss you, too. I'll let you know when we're on our way."

"Perfect. See you two later."

"See you, mum."

"I love you!"

I can see Harry's cheeks heat up slightly. "I love you, too," he mumbles before he hangs up.

I giggle as he drops his phone on the other side of the bed. He rests both of his hands on my waist, pulling me up so my entire body is right on top of his. I rest my hands on his chest as he releases a deep breath and closes his eyes.

"We should start getting ready. I haven't even packed yet!"

I realize now that our sudden new plan with his mum has almost completely cut my packing time.

I try to stand up but he tightens his arms around me, pressing me against him.


"You don't even need to pack. Just bring the outfit you're going to wear for the party and that's it. We're going to be sleeping naked anyways."

I laugh and smack his shoulder.

"And how about the clothes I'm going to wear tomorrow when I come back here?"

"Just wear the same ones you're going to wear today."

I roll my eyes. "No, thank you."

I try to push myself up again but like I expected, he tightens his arms around me.

"Harry," I whine. "I need to get ready, too. I'm technically officially meeting your parents now that we're back together. I need to look decent."

I know that I already met his family at his mum's birthday party but we weren't together back then and he was "with" Ivana.

Now, we're together and I'm going to be having lunch with them. I don't even know what to talk about. I should at least make myself look presentable so it's one less thing I have to worry about.

Harry finally opens his eyes and looks up at me.

"You'd look decent wearing sweats and a t-shirt. You don't need to worry at all. Plus, my mum and Robin aren't the type of people to worry about what people are wearing. You'll be fine."

"Well, I want to make a good first impression. Well, first impression as your girlfriend. I'm going to be spending Christmas with you this year so I want to make sure they like me today."

"Lily, they already like--"

"Do they even know that you invited me for Christmas?" I ask, interrupting him.

He pauses for a second, his gaze faltering slightly. "No, not yet. We'll tell her today."

"Are you serious? What if they don't like me? What if--"

"They like you, Lily. My mum called me after the party telling me that she really liked you. And I could tell that she meant she liked you a lot more than she liked Ivana. I don't even think she liked her at all."

Even though I think it's incredibly sweet what she had said about me and the fact that Anne wasn't too fond of the she-devil, hearing Ivana's name made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I groan. "Don't mention her name ever again. Especially when we're in bed."

Harry smirks and rolls his eyes. "And remember Gemma said that she likes you more than she likes me after we greeted my mum and you sassed me on Twitter."

I bury my face into the crook of his neck as I laugh, remembering when his mum, Gemma, Harry and I had that banter on Twitter.

"You don't need to worry about today, okay? They're going to love you just as quickly as I did."

I pull away, a smile growing on my lips as I look back at him. I rest one of my hands on his cheek and lean down to place my lips on his.

I hum against the kiss, feeling his hands roaming across my back. I was so anxious as soon as Harry's mum invited us for lunch but of course, he's able to calm me down with just a few words.

One of his hands moves up to tangle in my hair, pulling me harder against his lips and deepening the kiss. Suddenly, I feel him start to get excited underneath me so I pull away with a small chuckle.

"Uh uh. None of that right now."

Harry groans as I stand up from the bed and grab one of the sheets to wrap around my naked body.

"You don't need to hide from me, baby."

I pick up one of the pillows that had fallen on the floor and throw it at his head.

"I'm cold, pervert."

I just walk over to my closet as he laughs at me. I pick out the outfit I'm going to wear to lunch at Harry's mum's today, choosing high-waist dark skinny jeans and a light purple, cropped knit sweater to go for the chilly weather.

I place my clothes on the foot of the bed, looking over at Harry and seeing him still lying in bed with his eyes closed. I smile and shake my head before I go to the bathroom to take a shower. Surprisingly, Harry didn't barge in and join me but when I finish my shower and go back out and see him still in bed, I wish he had so he could finally get out of bed.

Knowing that Harry takes just as long as I do to get ready, I quickly change before I grab the bottom of the blanket and tug it off of the bed.

Harry's eyes shoot open and he curls into a ball.

"Hey!" he exclaims.

"Get out of bed. We need to leave soon if we want to make it on time to your mum's."

"Okay, okay, just give me the blanket!"

"No! You're just going to go sleep again."

"I won't. I'm just cold." He gives me a puppy-dog face as he pouts.

I roll my eyes and throw the blanket back at him. Thankfully, he actually sits up, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders before he slides out of bed.

I sit in front of my mirror and plug in my hair dryer, knowing that I don't have enough time to let it air dry and fix it. I'm about to turn it on but Harry appears behind me and grabs my face, pulling my head back to give me an upside-down kiss.

He smiles at me as he pulls away and I return it with one of my own.

I straighten my head, looking at Harry through the reflection as he turns around and disappears into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on so I turn on my hair dryer and start on my hair. By the time I finish drying it and start curling it into loose waves, Harry steps out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.

I almost burn my hair off when realize that I'm gawking at him through the mirror. I look away just before he was about to catch me staring at him.

He starts to change as soon as I start on my makeup. I keep it light, not wanting to put too much on for lunch. I'll just do it again afterwards for the party.

Harry dries and fixes his hair just as I'm doing the finishing touches on my makeup and surprisingly, we both finish at the same time.

"See? I didn't take that long to get ready."

"Well, if you had gotten up earlier, we would've had time to do other things before we leave."

I walk around him to get my bag from the closet and put the dress I picked out for the party inside of it, along with my heels.

"Oh yeah? Who says we still don't have time?" he says as he sits on the end of the bed, resting back on his hands.

"I do. I'm not done packing yet."

"Well, maybe you should've woken up earlier."

I glare at him as he smirks at me before I turn around, taking some sleeping clothes from my closet and putting them in my bag. I know I most likely won't be needing them but I pack them just in case. Plus, I could always just borrow Harry's shirt since that's what I wear to bed most of the time.

I go into the bathroom and take all of the essentials I need for this weekend and pack them with my clothes.

Once I mentally go through my list in my head three times, I close my bag and turn around to see Harry lying down on the bed with his phone in his hands.

I glance at the time and see that it's now eight o'clock.

"You ready?" I ask.

Harry sits up in bed, putting his phone away. We decide to get breakfast along the way so he stands up and takes the bag from me, putting it over his shoulder before he takes my hand and leads me out of the bedroom.

I make sure everything is turned off around the flat and join Harry at the front door after I turn off all of the lights. We step out and I lock the door behind me. Harry takes my hand again and we walk a couple of steps when my next-door neighbour steps out of the elevator and walks towards us.

"Hi, Mrs. Williams."

She's an older lady and lives with her husband next door. They're a lovely couple, always dropping off cupcakes for El and I.

"Good morning, dear. And who's this handsome man?"

I smile up at Harry before we both turn back to her.

"This is my boyfriend, Harry."

For sure, she wouldn't know who he actually is but I don't even feel the need to tell her and I'm sure Harry would think it's unnecessary.

"Was he helping you fix something last night?"

I look at her with curiousity, not knowing what she's talking about.

"Um, what do you mean?"

"Well, I heard a lot of banging coming from your flat last night so I thought you were hanging up a painting or something."

I immediately blush in embarrassment, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Oh,, we were, um..."

"Yes," Harry interrupts. "I was helping her hang a few paintings last night. She definitely kept me busy. I apologize if we kept you up."

I snap my head towards him, my eyes widening in pure horror. This is absolutely the most embarrassing thing ever.

"It must've been hard," she replies. "You were going at it all night."

Okay, I just want to dig myself a hole and crawl into it and not come back out. Ever.

"It was really hard but it was worth it. I just wanted to make her hanging those paintings."

I avoid Harry's gaze, knowing that he's grinning at me and enjoying my misery.

"What a gentleman. Well, anyways, I won't keep you two any longer. It was nice to meet you, Harry. Hope you see you around."

"You, too, Mrs. Williams. Have a nice day."

She nods before she walks past us and towards her flat. I start walking towards the elevator, still avoiding Harry's gaze.

"Oh, come on. She didn't suspect a thing," Harry says, surely reading my mind.

"It's so embarrassing. You didn't have to say that."

"How else would we explain the banging? If you want, I can go tell her what we were actually doing last night."

I glare at him and smack his arm. "Shut it. Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Hey, I'm not the one freaking out about it," he says, holding his hands out in front of him.

The elevator opens and Harry takes my hand, pulling me inside.

"Don't worry, no one will be able to hear us tonight at my place."

"I'm still traumatized so I don't think we'll be able to do it for a while."

I act innocent, pressing the button for the parking garage and then lean back against the wall. Harry stands in front of me and playfully glares at me, dropping my bag onto the ground and grabbing my waist.

"Hm, we'll see if you can resist my charm tonight."

"Well, I survived five weeks so I think I can handle tonight."

He smirks at me before leaning down. However, I decide to one-up him again. I grab the collar of his shirt, tugging him down to me and pushing my lips against his, completely catching him off guard. I kiss him feverishly, pushing my hips against his.

Just as he starts to take control of the kiss, the elevator opens and I gently push him away, giving him a smirk.

"We'll see who can resist whom tonight," I whisper before I walk past him and out of the elevator. I hear him quickly following after me as I head towards the car. Just as I'm about to open the door, I feel Harry smack my bum.

"Hey!" I shout as I turn around, seeing him smirking as he throws my bag into the backseat. I roll my eyes, about to turn back around to get in the car but he grabs my arms, tugging me back and placing his lips on mine.

My hands move on their own will, sliding around his waist and pulling him closer.

He wraps his arms around my shoulders, swaying us slowly side to side. The kiss is slow, gentle, sweet. Much too short for my liking, he pulls away and smiles down at me.

"I love you," he breathes.

My smile widens and I rest my head against his chest. "I love you, Harry."

He hugs me tighter. Suddenly, I feel one of his hands move down my body, stopping at my bum before he gives a light squeeze. "And I love your bum, as well."

Of course he would ruin the moment with his cheekiness. I laugh as I shove him, slightly enjoying this playful side of him.

"Can we go now, please?" I ask.

"Yes, ma'am." He gives me a salute as I open my door and get in. He walks around the car and hops into the driver's seat, turning it on.

He drives out of the parking garage and when we turn onto the road, he takes his phone and hands it to me.

"Can you text my mum and tell her we're on our way and should be there around 12?"

I take the phone from him and type out his exact instructions, waiting to make sure it sends before I put it inside one of the cup holders.

I lean my head against the seat, facing Harry and take his free hand and place it in my lap.

"So, what'd you think of my friends?" I ask.

"They were nice. I didn't really have the opportunity to get to know them but they were cool. I can tell that Leo and Chloe are together. Right?"

I nod. "Yeah. And Milly and Marcus are together, too."

He snaps his head towards me for a quick second before focusing back on the road.


"Yes, really. If you had given me the chance to tell you that, you wouldn't have had to go crazy, jealous boyfriend on him."

I give him a reassuring smile as he glances at me nervously, knowing that he's worried about me still being upset about what happened.

I can see him relax as he takes in my smile.

"Matti's excited to see Ed tonight," I add. "He's going to be at the party."

"That's nice. So, everyone's in a relationship. Well, Matti and Ed are almost in a relationship."

I laugh. "That's true. Actually, Collin isn't in a relationship."

"Oh," Harry says.

"What did you think of him?" I ask, genuinely curious.

He shrugs, not taking his eyes off of the road.

"I couldn't really tell. He was kind of quiet but he seems nice enough."

"Yeah. He is nice."

There's been something I've been meaning to bring up to Harry and I'm not sure if I should, especially as we're in the car four hours away from our destination.

"Can I tell you something? Without you freaking out?"

I can see him tense slightly, especially when his grip of his hand in mine tightens.


"I don't know. I just found it a bit weird but I would see him every day at school. I don't even have any classes with him and he would appear out of nowhere. I don't even see the others every day but I see him. I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking it and maybe it's just a coincidence."

He relaxes once again, his grip loosening slightly.

"Yeah, it's probably just a coincidence. You go to the same school so it's not weird that you would bump into each other."

I look at him in slight awe.

"That was not the reaction I was expecting."

He turns to me as we're stopped at a red light and he gives me a grin.

"What? You were expecting me to go crazy, jealous boyfriend again?"

I point my chin up. "Yes, I was actually."

He chuckles. "I won't. I promise. Our fight yesterday really set me straight. Maybe you can set him up with someone. It might make you less paranoid about seeing him everywhere."

"I'm not paranoid." I laugh. "It was just weird. But yeah, maybe I can find someone for him. He's a really nice guy."

"Hey, now. Just because I'm okay with him, doesn't mean that you can start saying all these nice things about him."

I roll my eyes and lightly shove his face. "All I've said is that he's nice. Would you like me to start saying nice things about him?"

"I'll un-invite him to the party if you do. I'll un-invite you, too."

I laugh, leaning against his shoulder, knowing that he's not being serious.

"I'm kidding," I say. "You know I only like saying nice things about you."

He starts to rub his thumb against my hand as I stay leaning against him.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

I roll my eyes, smiling even though he can't see me.

"You already know, Harry."

"It'd still be nice to hear it."

I sigh, knowing that I can't get out of it now.

"You're sweet, charming, selfless, funny, very handsome, amazing kisser."


I roll my eyes once again, knowing the one thing he's waiting to hear. Of course I tease him by playing the clueless card.

" wonderful cook."


My smile widens. " extraordinary singer."

I hold back my laugh, knowing that he's getting impatient.

"And? Maybe something that we happened to do last night."

I pull away and look up at him when we're stopped at a red light again. He looks down at me, of course with that smirk on his face.

I bite my lip, staring down at his, tempted to kiss them.

"'re the best at putting up paintings."


I seemed to have freaked some of you guys when I hinted that drama is going to happen soon LOL. I'm not gonna tell you when it's going to be BUT I want to know what you guys think it's going to be about. You guys are pretty good at guessing what's going to happen so leave your guesses in the comments!

Let me know what you thought of this chapter, as well.

I will try to update as soon as I can. You know how excited I get when I write drama ;) lol jk. But I really am excited to write the next few chapters because I planned them out in detail so I already know what they're going to be about specifically.

So get to voting and commenting so I update faster! :)

40 votes and 15 comments!

Thanks for reading! Love you guys :)

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