Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


106. Cheeky

The interview in this chapter is based off the one that Niall and Harry did in Austria. You can go on YouTube and search 'Niall and Harry Austria interview' and watch and listen to it while reading that part in this chapter. I changed it up a bit, took out some parts and added my own parts. You'll see when you read it. And obviously I changed the language. The language in the actual interview is German but I changed it to Spanish in this chapter since they're in Peru.


Lily’s POV

“Get your own!” Liam exclaims towards Niall. He shoves Niall’s hand away, which was making its way to his last pancake.

“Sharing is caring, Liam!” Niall pouts.

I just smile at the two boys in front of me. Niall piled his plate with at least one piece of food item from the breakfast buffet but, of course, he already finished and, of course, he was still hungry.

He grumbles as he stands up and makes his way back to get more food as Liam goes back to eating the rest of his breakfast in peace.

Harry’s hand continues to rub soothingly on my thigh as we eat and I turn to look at him as he finishes his blueberry muffin. He stuffs the last half of the muffin in his mouth and chews, his cheeks puffed out at the fullness.

He catches me watching him and he gives me a wide smile, his mouth still full of food. I just smile and roll my eyes as I bring my hand up and brush the crumbs from the corner of his lips.

Niall comes back and my eyes widen at the mound of food on his plate. I really should be used to it by now but damn, that guy can eat.

“Where do you put all that food?” I ask in astonishment

He just shrugs as he stuffs an entire pancake in his mouth.

“I’ve been wondering the same thing for the past 5 years,” Liam answers.

Harry and I laugh and I lean in closer to him. Harry and Liam start talking about the interviews that they have today as I continue to watch in awe as Niall devours his food. When he eats the last piece of toast, he leans back in his chair and burps.

I crinkle my nose but I can’t help but let out a short chuckle.

“You gonna come with us for our interviews?” Niall asks me.

I turn to look at Harry as he just offers me a warm smile.

I shrug. “Yeah, sure. I have nothing else to do.”

“Did you want to see mine and Harry’s or Liam’s and Louis’?”

I look at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“We’re doing separate interviews today. Me and Harry are doing one and Liam and Louis are doing another.”

“Oh,” I answer in understanding. “Well, that’s a tough one.”

I laugh when Harry pinches my thigh but a grin is present on his face.

“Of course I’ll go to yours,” I say to Harry, leaning against his arm. I resist the urge to kiss him but I’m caught off guard when Harry leans down and places one on my lips.

It’s a quick kiss but it’s enough to make my cheeks heat up, especially since Liam and Niall are sitting right in front of us.

However, when I turn to look at them, they’re focused on their own conversation.

“You guys ready?” Harry announces.

They nod before we all stand up and make our way out. We go to our respective rooms, telling them that we’d see them in a bit.

We had started to pack before we left for breakfast but we would be coming back here and stay here until we have to leave for the airport. I sit on the bed and hug Marshmallow against my chest as Harry goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. We had tried to fit Marshmallow into Harry’s suitcase but he wouldn’t fit, so he’s going to have to carry it around with him.

I had thought that he would be embarrassed to be carrying around a teddy bear in public but he brushed that thought away, saying that he would carry it around even if it was pink and had a tutu on. He had explained that he’s never going to let it out of his sight since I was the one that gave it to him.

Harry finishes a couple of minutes later and he walks towards me and leans down and kisses me.

“Let’s go?”

I place Marshmallow back to the head of the bed before I walk over to Harry and take his outstretched hand.

We head to the lobby, where a black SUV is waiting for us. As the paparazzi take pictures non-stop, Harry leads me to the car just as Niall appears and trails behind us. Harry takes my hand and opens the door for me to step inside. He sits down beside me and Niall hops in the front passenger seat.

The driver pulls onto the road just as ‘Jealous’ by Nick Jonas starts playing on the radio. I laugh out loud when Niall starts dramatically snapping his fingers along with the song.

It’s my right to be hellish, I still get jealous!

I playfully cringe as Niall attempts the high note but only because he purposely sings badly. Niall makes the rest of the car ride entertaining, singing along to every song.

“Thank god,” Harry groans as we stop in front of a building.

Niall doesn’t seem offended, seeing as he’s laughing as he steps out of the car. Harry steps out first and helps me out. He keeps my hand in his, leading the way inside.

I just follow in silence as him, Niall, and some people from their management converse with others. They’re put through hair and makeup and their microphones are put on them.

“Have fun,” I say, leaning up and placing a quick kiss on his lips. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” He gives me one last kiss on my forehead before him and Niall walk up to the couch set up in the room. I stand off to the side, behind the camera crew but with Harry and Niall in complete view.

The woman interviewing them speaks in Spanish towards the camera before she turns to the boys.

“Harry and Niall from One Direction.”

“Hi,” Niall says.

“Hello,” Harry adds. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” she responds, shaking hands with both of them. “I thought we could do something against boredom backstage. I have a little game.”

“Okay,” Harry says. “You have a very calming voice. Calming tone.”

“Thank you. I hope that’s a compliment.”

“It feels very zen.”

I smile and shake my head at Harry at his randomness. I already feel sorry for the poor woman having to deal with an entire interview with those two.

“Okay. This game is called truth or dare. I have some cards with me. Are you excited? Who wants to start?”

“Harry,” Niall immediately says but Harry sticks out his fist, clearly suggesting a game of rock, paper, scissors.

Niall makes scissors and Harry makes paper but he wiggles his fingers.

“Fire,” Harry says with a grin.

“Aww, burns my scissors,” Niall says with a laugh before they both turn back to the interviewer.

Oh gosh. I’m embarrassed myself because of these two.

“Alright, Harry. It’s a truth card. It’s a question about your new album. It’s the fourth album and it’s called ‘Four’.

“Yup,” Harry replies, patiently waiting for the question.

“So, my question is, why is the album really called ‘Four’?”

He takes an intake of breath and his one leg over the other. “Because…it’s our fourth album.” A laugh breaks out by the end of his answer, realizing that he couldn’t have answered it any differently and that there wasn’t anything exciting about it like the interviewer was expecting.

“As simple as that,” Niall adds. “There was a lot of names being thrown around about what we were going to call the album. In fact, there were a few names in the mix and no one could decide what it was going to be so I just said “how about ‘Four’ in capital letters.”

“There’s no deeper meaning behind it?” the interviewer asks.

“It’s a statement,” Harry answers. “It’s bold. It’s capitals. It’s underlined…on the album.”

I bite my lip to hold back a laugh.

“Okay,” she replies. “Honest answer. Okay. Niall, next. Dare. Show us the most beautiful boy band move.”

Niall seems in thought for a couple of seconds before he turns his head away from the camera.

“Okay, yeah,” Harry says, seeming to realize what he’s doing. “Look away. Look away. Look away. Look at me.”

Niall suddenly turns back and gives the camera what he thinks is a “beautiful boy band move”, his eyebrow quirked up, his eyes slightly narrowed and one side of his mouth stretched up in a smirk.

“Swoon,” Harry exclaims. “Swoooon!”

A quiet laugh breaks through my lips and I have to bring my hand up to cover my mouth.

“Why did you leave this whole boy band stuff? The clothing the same way? Doing some dancing?”

“Well,” Harry answers. “We’re not very good at dancing so that kind of got rid of the dancing card.” He turns to Niall and takes a deep breath before a smile breaks through his face. “And we’re different sizes with clothes.”

Niall laughs. “Yeah, we can’t wear the same clothes. Um…we just decided that we didn’t want to be that kind of band and obviously, it’s kind of evolved since that music.”

“Okay,” she says, nodding before she turns to her cards again. “Next question. If you guys were on an island and had no food, who would you eat first?”

Both of them laugh.

“Who would we eat first?” Niall repeats. “What is this, the Hunger Games? You’d have to kill someone first and then eat them afterwards.”

“It should be someone who smells good,” she adds.

Harry and Niall narrow their eyes in thought.

“Liam,” Niall answers.

“Yeah,” Harry agrees.

“He’s the meatier one,” Niall adds. “More muscle, too.”

“Yeah,” Harry says again.

“Alright. Last question. Do you guys annoy each other on purpose a lot?”

Harry and Niall exchange grins before turning back to the interviewer.

“Well, Niall here always forgets to bring toothpaste when we travel so he’s always bothering me in the morning for some.”

I feel my cheeks heat up slightly as I remember what happened this morning and when Harry sneaks a glance at me, I can tell he’s thinking about it, too.

“Like this morning,” Niall adds.

I can feel my cheeks burn up more when I see the smirk on Niall’s face as he leans his arm on Harry’s shoulder. Harry just looks at him carefully, a nervous smile on his face.

“It was early in the morning but I knew he was awake,” Niall continues.

Oh god.

“I heard some noises coming from his room,” Niall’s smirk widens. “I could hear him talking to someone. And there were some others noises, as well. You know, some thumping and things like that.”

My jaw drops and I cover my face with my hands.

Niall tries to hold back his laughter but it escapes and Harry’s smile widens as he looks down at the ground and scratches his nose.

This is the most embarrassing thing ever. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the real meaning behind Niall’s words. Of course people will figure it out.

I can see a hint of a blush on his cheeks as he chuckles lightly in embarrassment and turns away from Niall, who falls over to the arm of the couch, hiding his laughter.

“Alright, that’s it,” Harry says to the interviewer, who’s just smiling knowingly. “Any more questions?”

She ends the interview and they all stand up.

“Thank you. Have a nice evening,” she says, shaking their hands. They take a few pictures together before Harry and Niall make their way back to me.

As soon as Niall reaches me, I swat his arm.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“I can’t believe you said that!” I whisper-shout. I’m not actually mad at Niall but of course I’m still embarrassed. He just told the entire world what happened this morning.

“Oh, come on. No one knows what I actually meant.”

I just narrow my eyes at him as Harry puts his arm around my shoulders, smiling down at the two of us.

“Everyone with a brain will know what you really meant.”

“So I was right!”

I groan, realizing that I had indeed confirmed what Niall thought had happened when he had interrupted us this morning. Harry pulls me closer and places a kiss on the top of my head.

“Alright. Let’s go. It’s okay, baby. No one’s going to know.”

I just pout and let Harry guide me out of the room. Each of the boys are slowly taking their turns embarrassing me. First Louis when he was having that playful banter with Harry back at the flat and now, Niall.

I hope Liam remains the most sensible one and doesn’t follow the pattern.


“Harry, you don’t have to.”

“I want to. You’re leaving tonight and I don’t know when I’m going to see you again.”

I sigh and even though my arms are still crossed across my chest, I relax slightly.

Harry wants to take me out on a romantic dinner. Since the both of us have to leave for the airport later tonight, the dinner would have to be early. I didn’t want him to go out of his way for this. I would be okay with just ordering room service and staying in the hotel room until we have to leave. However, Harry is Harry and he always wants to go above and beyond for me.

I decided to let it slide since I would do the same for him.

“Fine. But please, nothing too expensive. Okay?”

His smile widens as he nods. “No problem.”

He walks up to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me against him. Without a second thought, I snake my arms around his body. He leans down and places a lingering kiss on my forehead.

“Now go get ready. We’ll leave soon.”

I give him a swift kiss on his lips before we pull away. I go to my suitcase to pull out the one dress that I had packed.

The white dress.

I never give it a second thought whenever I need to decide what to wear whenever Harry wants to take me out. Of course I would change it up occasionally but it’s been a while since I last wore it and it seems like the perfect opportunity for tonight’s occasion.

I retouch my makeup and do my hair while Harry gets ready in the bathroom. I take off my clothes and I pick up the white dress just as Harry steps out from the bathroom. He smirks when he sees me flinch slightly before I playfully roll my eyes and turn my back to him. I slip on the dress and I turn around to grab my shoes when I bump into Harry, who had silently walked up to stand right behind me.

“I missed this dress,” he says as he places his hands on my waist.

I think back to the last time that I wore this dress and it takes me a while to remember that it had been at the Brit Awards. The night that I had seen Harry for the first time since he had come back from New York, since he had broken up with me. It was the night that I had drunkenly went to his house and confessed all of my pelt up feelings and emotions I was holding in. It was the night that I had told him to stay away from me, giving him the ring back to reinforce those words.

I wish that this dress wasn’t tainted with those memories from that night but it doesn’t stop me from wearing it again, even tonight. It still holds the even more special memory of when I had worn it for our first date.

I just focus on that memory as I return Harry’s gaze.

“I miss wearing it for you.”

His eyes brighten and his smile widens as he takes in my words. His hand comes up and brushes my hair behind my ear before it rests at the back of my neck. He pulls me up and leans down to brush his lips against mine.

“God, I wish I could have this every day,” he whispers, his breath fanning out across my face.

His words tug at my heart, lightening it but also weighing it down. It’s romanticism being pushed away slightly by the resentment of me leaving tonight. I want nothing more than for Harry’s words to be true. If it weren’t for school, I would’ve been with him every single day, even now while he’s on tour.

“Me, too,” I whisper.

I can tell that the mood is being brought down by our words and thoughts. I can tell that the both of us are feeling the sorrow lingering in the air at the fact that we’re going to be parting ways once again tonight.

“Let’s go,” he interrupts my thoughts, surely speaking to not only bring me out of my thoughts but of his own, as well.

He tugs on my hand, leading me out of the room and down the hall. We remain silent the entire way down the elevator and into the awaiting car. As Harry drives to the restaurant, he keeps his fingers clasped through mine as I just glance down at our interlocked hands.

I can feel tears prickling in the corner of my eyes and I tighten my grip on Harry’s fingers to calm myself down. I’m not sure if it works because it just reinforces the fact that that I won’t be able to have this again starting tomorrow.

I blink back the threatening tears just as the car slows and stops in front of a restaurant. Harry glances at me quickly and gives me a warm smile before he opens his door and steps out. He walks around the car and opens the door before he holds his hand out to help me out. I fix my dress quickly and take Harry’s hand once again.

He leads me inside and the hostess doesn’t even ask for his name before she guides us to our table. It’s secluded in the back corner of the restaurant and it slightly brings up my dampening mood that we’d get some privacy.

Another reason that I was slightly reluctant to go out was because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to spend valuable time with him with the time we have remaining. That’s why I tried convincing him that we could just stay in the hotel room and order room service. At least then we would have promised alone time.

It’s a relief that our table is away from the usual background din of restaurants. We may be out in public but at least we’ll have our privacy.

Harry holds my chair out for me, helping me slide in comfortably before he takes the chair that was places across from mine and places it instead adjacent from me so he’s directly on my right. The hostess hands us our menus and tells us that our waiter will be with us shortly before she walks away.

Just like I was anticipating, I feel Harry place his hand on my thigh, his thumb tracing gentle circles on my skin. And, once again, I look up and see that he isn’t even looking down at the menu as his gaze is set on me.

And just like that, the smile on his face washes away all of my burdening thoughts, a genuine smile being triggered on my own.

I don’t even think about it as I lean forward and place my lips on his. Our lips are unmoving, just letting them linger together and letting it wash away the rest of my unwanted thoughts from my head.

I pull away but remain just a few inches away, our gazes locking as our lips spread into a blissful smile. His hand glides along my thigh once before he presses it on its original spot, squeezing lightly and continuing it’s soothing circling of his thumb.

We straighten in our seats when our waitress appears beside us and offers us a friendly smile. She’s a middle-aged, friendly-faced woman and she gives each of us a smile.

“Buenas tardes. My name is Maria and I will be your waitress for tonight.” Her Peruvian accent is heavy but her English is still surprisingly understandable. I guess it’s a necessary skill to have at a city that’s a popular tourist attraction. “What can I get you two to drink?”

“I’ll have an iced tea, please,” I say, smiling up at her.

She nods at me before she turns to Harry.

“I’ll have the same. Thank you.”

She nods again. “Are you ready to order or do you need more time?”

Seeing as how Harry and I immediately went into our own little bubble the second we sat down, neither of us had a chance to even glance at the menu.

“Could we have a couple more minutes?” I ask politely.

“No worries. I’ll be back with your drinks.” She gives us one last smile before she turns and leaves.

I look down at the menu, perusing at the list of choices. Since the currency here is unknown to me compared to back home, I decide it’s better that I don’t know, even though I made Harry promise not to take me anywhere too expensive.

I just look for the one that looks the most appetizing, as well as the one with the lower price. I sneak at glance at Harry and, sure enough, his menu isn’t even open. I go back to yesterday when we had gone out to lunch and Harry hadn’t even looked at the menu and had just ordered what I had ordered. I hold back my smile as an idea comes to mind.

Maria comes back with our drinks, placing them in front of us before she tucks the tray under her arm and takes out a notepad and pen.

“Are you ready to order?”

I look up at her and smile and nod.

“Alright. What would you like?” she asks, glancing at me since I had been the one to answer her.

However, I put on an innocent face and turn to Harry.

“Harry, you can go first.” I hold back the smirk threatening to spread across my face, especially as his eyes widen, realizing what I’m doing.

“Oh, um…uhh…” His cheeks redden slightly as he frantically opens his menu. He could easily just tell the waitress that he needs more time but she had already given us plenty of extra time when she had went to get our drinks.

I giggle slightly, catching Maria’s attention. I can tell she knows what’s happening as she gives me a knowing smile. I can tell that Harry’s getting more flustered, especially since the menu is in Spanish so I decide to bring him out of his misery.

“I will have the lomo saltado, please,” I say. Her smile widens as she writes down my order. I had heard that it was one of the most popular dishes here in Peru so I thought I would try it.

Both of us look over at Harry, who’s still glancing down at the menu, his eyes frantically moving along the choices.

“Harry, would you like to order the same? I’m sure you’ll like it.”

I bite my lip to hold back my smile when his head snaps up at me and narrows his eyes.

“Sure,” he grumbles. He clears his throat and looks up at Maria. “I’ll just have the same, please.”

Her knowing smile widens again as she writes on her notepad. We hand her the menus before she turns and leaves.

I take my iced tea and take a sip, partially to hide my smile as Harry looks back at me. He leans in closer and his hand slides an inch up my thigh, making me slightly jump in my seat and almost spill my drink.

“You think that’s funny, huh?” his voice low and smooth. He leans his one arm on the table, leaning even more closely, his face now inches from mine.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I place my drink back on the table and sit on straight in my seat, trying to pull off an innocuous vibe.

“You know exactly what you were doing,” his voice getting impossibly lower and more raspy. I can tell he’s trying to seem upset or even angry but I can easily see the playful glint in his eyes.

“And what is that exactly?” I drawl back, raising an eyebrow at him.

The corner of his mouth curls up for a quick second before he leans in, his lips right by my ear. Goosebumps appear on my skin when I feel his breath on my skin, followed by shivers to run down my spine at the warmth.

“You tell me.” That’s all he says. Those three simple words rolling off of his tongue in such a sexy way that it unravels me, even more so when his hand moves another inch up my thigh. I try to calm my breathing, knowing that he can hear it.

There’s no denying that I’m loving this right now, even though we’re out in public and anyone could pass by and see us. But with the seclusion of our table, with Harry sitting close to me and the table hiding his wandering hands, it’s enough to push my worry in the back of my mind.

And when Harry’s hand slips under my dress, sliding higher and higher and moving to the inside of my thigh, I know I’m in for an eventful dinner.

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