Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


113. Button Up

Lily's POV

"Here, I'll take your suitcase."

Harry hands me his suitcase and then grabs his shoulder bag before he closes the trunk of his car. Taking my hand, he leads the way to the entrance of my building. I pull his suitcase behind me and I sleepily follow Harry inside the lobby.

It's almost two in the morning now so it's completely empty inside except the security guard at the front desk. I unlock the front door and head to the elevator. Neither of us talk, both of us knowing that we're too tired to strike up conversation. I don't mind, though. It's a silence that I'm accepting since Harry's here.

I lean against Harry as we ascend up the elevator, his arm looping around my shoulders and hanging loosely in front of me. He keeps it there as we reach my floor and as we walk down the hallway. Again, I unlock the door and step inside the flat, Harry following right after me.

I'm about to pull the suitcase into my room but it's pushed out of my hand as soon as I take another step. I turn around to find out what's happening but Harry takes my face in between both of his hands and pulls me in for a kiss. He takes off one of his hands from my face and all I can hear is a loud thud. I realize it's his shoulder bag that he's now dropped onto the floor because his hand is placed back on my cheek.

Finally, in the privacy of my flat, he deepens the kiss like I've been craving for ever since we first kissed in the airport. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down closer to me as his hands trail down my body and around my waist.

I pull away to catch my breath but Harry just grazes his lips down to my neck before he starts sucking.

"Let's...let's go to my room," I say breathlessly.

Putting his lips back on mine, his hands move down to the back of my legs. Without having to tell me, I jump up just as he tightens his grip. I wrap my legs around his waist and he holds onto me as he walks us through the hallway and into my room.

He closes the door behind him before he walks over to the bed and carefully places the both of us on the mattress. He rests his one hand on my waist and his other one on the space beside my head to support himself. He squeezes my waist and I take that as the signal to move up the bed. Without stopping the kiss, I move to the head of the bed, resting my head on the pillows before Harry carefully rests his body on top of mine.

I tangle my fingers into my hair and I practically melt into the bed at all of the familiar sensations and feelings filling every inch of my bed. However, as I relax more and more, I can feel the tiredness taking over my body once again.

I moan softly against his lips and reluctantly pull away. He rests his forehead against mine and both of us try to catch our breaths.

"Babe, we should go to sleep," I whisper. "We've both had a long day. We have all day tomorrow before your show to do whatever we want."

I'm not sure whether Harry was anticipating us having s.ex tonight and I didn't want to upset him with stopping it like this. I know how the both of us are when we make love. I know that we need a lot more energy than we have right now to make it worth it, especially since this will be the first time in five weeks since we've last had s.ex.

Harry doesn't move on top of me and I'm not sure how to take that.

"I just want to make sure that it'll be perfect like it's always been."

He finally pulls his head away from mine and I open my eyes to see him looking down at me.

"I feel like I'm going to pass out any second," I continue, giving him a soft smile. "Let's just rest up for the night and wait until morning."

I brush my fingers through his hair and finally get a smile from him.

"No worries. You're right. I'm gonna pass out soon, too. And I'm gonna need a lot more energy for what I've wanted to do to you since I first saw you."

My heart hammers in my chest as a smirk spreads across his face. His fingers gently graze over the exposed skin on my hips, trailing back and forth slowly over my stomach.

Just before I'm about to break and take back my words, I push against his chest, making him fall onto the bed beside me.

"Keep it in your pants, Styles."

Harry laughs beside me as I sit up and take off his sweater that I'm wearing and kick off my shoes. I still have his black shirt on underneath, and with our little moment, I'm starting to feel a little hot so I take off my sweats, as well, and of course, my bra. I carefully throw the sweater at the foot of the bed before pulling the blanket from underneath me and sliding into bed.

I watch Harry as he sits up, takes off his boots and pulls off his white button up. He peels his tight jeans off, leaving him in just his boxer briefs before sliding underneath the blanket right beside me.

He lifts his arm up and I move closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder. I lean up to give him a quick kiss and when I pull away, I see him trailing his gaze from my face down to my body.

"As much as I like you wearing my shirt, I would really love it if you took it off, too. I'll keep you warm. I promise."

I playfully glare at him, trying to figure out why he wants me to.

"Why?" I ask curiously.

He shrugs. "Well, I'm completely naked from the waist up so it's only fair that you are, too. Plus, I just want to feel you tonight. I promise I won't try to start anything. I just miss the feeling of you beside me."

I watch him skeptically for a bit longer but then I realize that I kind of want what he wants. I want to feel him, too.

Softening my gaze, I pull away from him and sit up. He keeps his eyes on me as I tug the shirt off of my body and place it beside the sweater at the end of the bed.

I go back to my previous position flush against his body, his arm looping around my shoulders. He kisses the top of my head and I tangle my legs with his.

"Good night, baby."

"Good night."

God, I love this feeling. I know I've felt this so many times before but feeling this now after being apart for five weeks feels absolutely amazing. It's one of my favourite feelings in the world.

"I love you," he mumbles sleepily.

My smile widens and I lean up slightly to place a kiss on his neck.

"I love you so much."

He tightens his arms around me and I release a deep breath, letting myself fully relax against him.

I let the sound of his heart and his quiet breaths lull me into a sleep that I've been craving for for five long weeks. I haven't fallen asleep this fast in a long time and not surprisingly, Harry falls asleep before I do after I hear his quiet snores filling the room.

I tiredly smile at the unusually soothing sound before I finally fall asleep with Harry.


Harry's POV

I reach out to the space beside me as soon as I wake up. It's almost a reflex even though this is the first time I've slept beside Lily in a long time. However, my hand only touches an empty, cold space. I squint one eye open and see Lily nowhere in sight.

The room is dark and it's quiet in the entire flat. When I glance at the alarm clock on Lily's bedside table, I see that it's already past 12 in the afternoon. I flip onto my back, groaning as I feel my muscles resisting against any movement, surely from me barely moving from the spot I fell asleep in.

I stretch before I sit up and wipe the sleep from my eyes. I hear quiet clatter from somewhere outside the room and I get out of bed, not even bothering to put on any clothes as I grab my phone and make my way to the door.

The smell of food meets my nostrils as I head out to the hallway and I have to squint my eyes from the sudden bright light coming in from the living room. The living room is empty so I walk towards the kitchen, looking for Lily.

As soon as I step through the doorway, I freeze in my spot when I see Lily in front of the stove, her back to me as she cooks. However, it's not her cooking that made me forget how to walk. It's what she's wearing.

She's wearing my button up and nothing else but her underwear that is completely hidden from view from how the shirt is too long on her small body.

She has the sleeves folded up to her elbows but what I can't take my eyes off is her bare legs. I decide to take my phone and take a picture of her, wanting to have this image on my phone to look at any time I want, especially when I'm travelling again.

She still hasn't noticed that I've walked in so I quietly place my phone on the counter and walk up to her. Her hair is up in a bun so as soon as I wrap my arms around her waist from behind, I place my lips on her exposed neck.

She flinches slightly as my sudden presence but I feel her immediately relax into my body.

"I know I've told you that you look great in my clothes but you look f.ucking sexy in this one," I mumble against her skin.

I place one more kiss on her neck before I pull away to look at her face. I see a faint blush colouring her cheeks as she smiles up at me.

"Oh, this old thing. I just put it on."

I bite my lip as I stare down at hers.

"Are you trying to seduce me so early in the morning?" I rasp. "You know you still have me worked up from last night."

Her eyes linger on my lips for a few seconds before she focuses back on what she's cooking.

"First off, it's already afternoon, sleeping beauty. And second of all, I have no idea what you mean by seducing you. I just wanted to wear your shirt." She shrugs for extra effect, her innocent act just getting me even more worked up.

"Oh, really? So you don't mind if I take it back. I'm rather cold."

She takes the last piece of bacon out of the pan before she turns off the stove and turns around in my arms so she's finally facing me. I take a glance at the front of her for the first time and I feel myself harden when I see that the top three buttons are left open, part of her chest exposed to me.

"You don't look cold." She starts to roam her hands all over my chest and stomach, her touch getting me more hot and bothered. "You don't feel cold, either."

"Alright, well, what if I just wanted to get that shirt off of you?"

Her hands trail back up my chest before they loop around my neck.

"Hmm, I thought you liked me wearing it. Why do you want me to take it off?"

God, she's too good at teasing. But two can play at this game.

She squeals as I suddenly grab the backs of her legs and lift her up. I turn us around and place her on the counter behind us.

"So I can do this." I pull her closer and crash my lips into hers. She gasps into my mouth as my hands grip her waist and I press my crotch against hers.

Her fingers tangle in my hair, tugging when I move my hips against her body. My hands trails up to the buttons of the shirt but I stop myself and force myself to pull away.

She opens her eyes and looks at me confusedly as her chest rises and falls harshly with her breaths.

"Wh...what's wrong?" she asks.

I bite my lip and shake my head before I smirk and take a step back. She grows more curious as she watches me take my phone from the counter beside her. I take a few more steps back until I reach the sink and lean against it.

"Mind posing for a few pictures for me?"

Her face softens and she rolls her eyes. "Are you serious? You stopped...that...for pictures?"

I curl the corners of my lips down and shrug. "Yeah."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Why?"

I smirk once again and cross my arms. "So I can look at it when I'm travelling...or any time I want."

She closes her eyes and I can tell she's about to be done with my s.hit.

She looks back at me and sighs. "Fine."

My eyebrow rise up when I see her lean back, supporting herself with her hands behind her. One side of the shirt falls off her of shoulder as she crosses her legs and then she takes one of her hands and tugs on her hair tie, letting her hair fall down around her shoulders.

She leans back again and flips her hair back off of her shoulders.

"Is this okay, baby?"

I swallow harshly, my eyes wide as I take her in. I didn't think she'd actually agree to it, or at least be this into it.

My eyes continue to roam up and down her body, down from her legs up to her bare shoulder and partly exposed chest.

"Are you going to take a picture or not? Take a picture, it'll last longer. I mean, isn't that the whole point of this?"

She smirks at me and then bites her bottom lip before she licks them.

"I'm waiting," she sings.

I shake my head before I stand up straight and hold my phone out in front of me. I open my camera and point it at her and she gives me a sultry smile as I take five pictures quickly. I thought that that would be it but I look up from my camera when I see her sit up straight, putting her one hand on her knee and her other hand up and biting down on her finger.

"F.uck," I mutter under my breath. With slightly shaky hands, I take another five pictures.

Once again, she goes into another position. This time, she fixes some of her hair in front of her and then spreads her legs but takes her hands and tugs down on the bottom of the shirt to cover her underwear. She bites down on her lip and that's when I take yet another five pictures.

I'm about to put my phone away but she stops me.

"Wait. One more."

She pushes her hair back behind her and I can literally feel my breath catch in my throat when I see her start to unbutton the rest of the shirt. I puff my cheeks and blow out harshly through my lips when she opens the shirt enough to show me her chest and stomach but still covering her n.ipples.

She crosses her legs again and leans back on her hands, smiling seductively.

I have a hard time keeping my hands from shaking but I'm eventually able to get a clear picture. I take ten pictures this time, knowing that this pose was definitely my favourite.

I put the phone down and look up at Lily to see her smirking at me. I walk back up to her and place my phone beside her. She places her legs on either side of me, resting her hands on my shoulders and pulling me against her once again.

"I wanted to be the one to unbutton that shirt," I grumble.

She smiles and places a quick kiss on my lips. "Well, you wanted something to look at while you're on tour so I thought I'd make it good, at least."

I grip her waist and lean my face closer to hers. "Trust me, baby, those pictures are more than good. They're f.ucking amazing."

Her smile widens but then she narrows her eyes at me. "If those pictures get out, I will hunt you down and rip your balls off."

I know she's being partly serious but I can't help but let out a laugh at the picture she gave me. I know getting my balls ripped off won't be pretty but I just imagined her being angry and no one can help but be amused.

"Yes, ma'am. I promise, those pictures will never leave my phone."

"If they do, I'll leave you."

My face falls slightly at her words, not knowing if she was being serious.

"Would you really?" I ask nervously.

Her face softens as she takes in the tone of my voice. She takes her hands and places them on either sides of my face.

"Of course not. I know you wouldn't do it on purpose but I would prefer it if those pictures really do stay on your phone and only your phone."

I nod my head. "I promise. No one else is going to see them. They're for my eyes and my eyes only.

A smile spreads across her face again and I return it with one of my own.

"Good. Now let's eat."

She pushes me away and hops off of the counter. Much to my dismay, she buttons up my shirt again but at least she leaves the top three buttons open like before.

I lean back against the counter again as I watch her plate our food. She turns around and smiles at me before she walks around the counter and sits down on one of the stools, placing the plates in front of her. I sit down beside her and take my plate from her.

"So, what did you want to do today? Rehearsal isn't until four so we have a bit of time to do anything."


I look over at her when she trails off and she looks back at me nervously.

"What?" I ask.

"Did...did you still...want to get a dog together?" she asks, biting the inside of her cheek in nervousness.

I reach out and brush her hair behind her ear. "I did promise you, didn't I?" I lean in and give her a quick kiss. "Let's go dog shopping."

Her smile widens and she squeals as she turns in her seat and throws her arms around me.

"Are you sure?" she asks, pulling away. "This is a big commitment. There's no going back."

I nod, no ounce of apprehension in my body. "A hundred percent sure. I think we're ready to take this next big step, don't you think?"

She nods and leans in closer. "I think so, too."

"Then let's get a dog." I lean in and place my lips on hers, giving her a gentle and lingering kiss.

She's right. This is a big commitment. I mean, it's not like I can just go back and tell her that the dog is just hers any time I want. This will be symbolic of our relationship. We're coming together to pick a dog together, a dog that we're both going to care for and love. It's another way to show how we're both going to take care of the love that we have together.

I have no idea what we're going to get ourselves into but I honestly can't wait to find out.


Gonna have a little contest! Comment what you think they should name their dog (it's going to be a boy) and whichever one I like the most, I'll follow you on twitter and IG, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you and I'll give you a solo DM with Ariana Grande! (only if you want one lol) And of course, I'll use that name for the dog.

So yeah, comment boy dog names and I'll pick one before I post the next chapter. I'll contact the winner via direct message on here.

Also, from what I asked you guys about splitting up the books, I think I'm going to most likely do it. Not 100% sure yet though.

Please vote and comment! 40 votes and 15 comments :)

Thanks for reading!

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