Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


60. Birthday Party

Lily’s POV

“Harry, you do not need a piñata for your mum’s birthday!”

“Why not? Who says there’s an age limit for having piñatas for your birthday party? I'm sure the lads will be fighting to go first. It’s not a party without a one.”

I cross my arms as I watch him scan the row of piñatas. Harry had picked me up this morning because he needed help picking up the decorations for the party. I helped him the balloons, which were now inflated and floating around in the trunk of his car. I picked out all of the plates and utensils, as well as the birthday signs and streamers. I thought we were done but no. Harry just needed to get a piñata.

“This one!” he gasps. He reaches up and takes a piñata off of the shelf before he shows it to me. Of course, it’s a One Direction piñata.

“Perfect. I’m sure your mom has always wanted a reason to hit your face with a bat before.”

He furrows his eyebrows at me and nudges my head with the piñata.

“Ha ha, very funny.” He throws it into the cart before he starts pushing it down the aisle.

I just giggle behind him and he throws playful glares at me as we make our way around the store.

“Since we’re getting a piñata, we might as well get some party hats for everyone to wear. Oh, maybe we should hire a clown so we can have our faces painted.”

Suddenly, Harry turns around and gently puts me in a headlock. I laugh as he pulls me along beside him and pushes the cart with his other hand.

“You’re being very mean today.”

“Is this party for your mum or is it for you?” I continue to laugh.

This time, Harry can’t hold back his laughter. He keeps me in the headlock as I laugh along with him.

“Stop. You’re hurting my feelings.”

“Maybe you can ask the clown to make you a balloon hat to cheer you up.” I burst out in laughter as Harry stops walking.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Harry pouts and then he quickly walks away from me.

“Aw, Harry. You know I’m just kidding.” I follow after him as he goes into another aisle. I have to jog up to his long strides and once I reach him, I grab his arm and stop him, making him face me. He still has that damn cute pout on his face.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I promise, I’ll stop.”

“You hurt my feelings.”

“Alright. What can I do to make it up to you?” I raise my eyebrows and I can see his eyes slightly narrow in wariness.

He takes a few seconds in contemplation before a smile erupts on his face.

“You have to play me one of your songs tonight.”

I raise an eyebrow at him and then shrug. “Alright. So you forgive me?”

He rolls his eyes, his smile widening. “Yes, I forgive you.”

He turns around and pushes the cart towards the cash register. As Harry is taking everything out of the cart, I take that opportunity to look at him.

When Harry asked me to play one of my songs for him, I immediately think through which one I should sing. Since Harry has guitars in his house, I’m sure he’ll force me to sing tonight at the party. Hopefully, he won’t make me sing in front of everyone.

I’m meeting his family for the first time today. I don’t need to make a fool out of myself in front of them. I am getting better at playing in front of people but it’s been a while. The last time that I played in front of a large amount of people was at Marcus’ mum’s funeral. That was a while ago. Who knows how I’m going to be now?

“You ready?”

Harry snaps me out of my thoughts as I look up at him. I nod and follow him out of the store. We head back to his house and we immediately start setting up the party in the backyard.

We set up the tables and chairs, we hang the streamers, we tie the balloons on the backs of the chairs and we help the caterers set up the food. Just as we finish, the guests start to arrive. The boys and Ed arrive, along with Eleanor, Perrie and Sophia. Harry introduces me to his aunts, uncles and cousins and family friends.

“They’re here!” Harry exclaims. I turn my head towards the side of the house and see Harry’s mum and sister walking up to us. I straighten my back and fix my dress, turning around to face them as they reach us.

“Happy birthday, mum.” Harry goes up to her and embraces her in a hug.

“Thanks, sweetie. Thanks for throwing this party.”

“It’s no problem at all.” He turns to Gemma and offers her a smile before they share a hug. “Hey, Gem.”

“Hey, Haz.”

They pull away and he takes a step back to stand beside me.

“Mum, Gem, this is Lily. Lily, this is my mum, Anne.”

I’m about to extend my hand out to shake her hands but Anne holds her arms out for a hug. I quickly return the hug, feeling her arms tighten around me.

“Nice to finally meet you, Lily. I know I’ve already said this but Harry’s told me so much about you.”

I pull away, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. “Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Twist. Harry’s told me quite a bit about you, as well.”

“Please, call me Anne. Keeps me young.”

We share a laugh. I can see Harry smiling as he looks between me and his mum.

“And this is Gemma,” Harry says.

I turn towards the girl standing beside Anne. I don’t know why but I find her slightly intimidating. She’s beautiful, definitely getting her features from her mum. Just like with Anne, I extend my hand out to her but she pulls me in for a hug.

“Nice to meet you, Lily. I’ve been dying to meet the one who puts Harry in his place.”

We laugh as we pull away.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Harry was being modest when he told me you were one of the most beautiful people he’s ever seen.”

“Mum!” Harry mumbles.

I can feel my cheeks heat up as I look up at Harry and see his cheeks just as red as mine feel.

“What? I’m just telling the truth. She’s absolutely lovely.”


“It’s okay. Um…thank you, Anne. That’s a very sweet compliment.” I attempt to put Harry at ease, knowing that he’s embarrassed by his mum spilling something that he most likely wanted to keep a secret.

“Mum’s only like this because you wouldn’t shut up about Lily since you met her,” Gemma says with a smirk.

“Gemma!” Harry whines.

I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or flattered by Gemma’s confession. However, coming from Harry, it only causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

I didn’t know that Harry was talking to his mum about me, at least as much as Gemma’s pointing out.

Does he still talk about me?

Of course not. Harry probably talks to her about Ivana now.

“Can we just go eat or something?” Harry says. “Anything other than embarrassing me.”

All of us except Harry laugh as he leads the way to the food table.

Harry’s POV

“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.”

“Yes, it is,” I retort. “They’ve been embarrassing me since they got here.”

“What’s so embarrassing about that?” Lily asks. “If you want them to embarrass you, maybe I can ask them to show me your childhood pics?”

I snap my head up to look at Lily and see her smirking at me.

“I’m just kidding. But, come on. I want you to enjoy the party.”

I look back down at my hands.

I don’t know why I’m letting it bother me so much. I guess I’m just worried that Lily will be uncomfortable with it. There’s only one week left before she has to leave. I don’t want anything to ruin the amazing week we’ve spent together and the rest of the time that we have left.

I have no idea what’s going to happen when she leaves. It’s not like we’re going to stop talking but I know it’s going to suck not being able to see her every day. Skyping wouldn’t even be the same.

However, Lily doesn’t seem bothered by it. Or least she’s not showing it.

“Why don’t we set up the piñata? I’m sure that’ll take your mind off of it.”

I look back up at Lily, a smile appearing on my face. She stands up from the table and walks over to the tree where we placed the piñata.


I look over and see Louis running up to Lily. I stand up, walking over to them and grabbing the piñata from her.

I grab the rope and tie the piñata to it before I walk over to the tree and throw the other end of the rope over the branch. I pull it until the piñata is high above my head and then tie it around the trunk.

“Who wants to go first?” I ask, noticing that almost everyone was around us now.

“I think the birthday girl should go first,” Gemma answers.

Anne goes first and was only able to hit the piñata one of the three attempts that she had. Everyone else takes their turn, the guys hitting it three times each. Niall almost nails Zayn with the bat when he faces the completely wrong direction for his first swing. Thankfully, Liam helps him and faces him in the general direction of the piñata for his last two swings. Eleanor, Perrie and Sophia take their turn, then Lou, then Gemma. Even Lux takes a turn, making sure that we lowered it so she could reach it.

Now it was my turn.

“Can you help me put the blindfold on?” I ask Lily

I turn around and she places the cloth over my eyes and ties it at the back of my head. She grabs my shoulders and spins me around three times before she stops me. I takes a few steps forward and swing the bat. I swing through the air, knowing that I swing under the piñata. I swing again and this time, I hit the piñata. I hear everyone shout and I take that encouragement and swing as hard as I can with the bat.

I take the blindfold off and look up at the piñata. I see a huge crack in the middle, right in between Liam and I on the picture.

“My turn!” Lily says behind me. I hand her the bat and then help her put on the blindfold. I spin her around before I face her towards the piñata. She walks up a few steps before she swings the bat. She hits the piñata dead on. However, her second swing, the piñata finally breaks and a shower of candy falls onto the ground. Everyone immediately dives down on the ground and grabs for the candy. Lily just watches, laughing as she takes pictures of everyone. I do the same except I just watch Lily as she smiles down at everyone.

Once all of the candy is picked up, everyone stands up, comparing how has more than the other. In the end, everyone gives half of their candy to Lux, who’s sitting down on the ground with Lou. Lou scolds everyone for giving her daughter so much sugar so she takes all of them and puts them in a bag.

“Are you okay now?”

Lily appears beside me and hands me a mini KitKat bar.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I look up at her. “Thanks.”

She gives me a smile and just nods in response.

Everyone moves under the big canopy set up with a dance floor placed in the middle. Some of them start dancing and everyone else sits down in the tables placed around it. Lily and I walk up to watch everyone as a new song starts.

Last First Kiss.

I see Lily fidget in her spot. I turn to her and hold out my hand to her.

“Would you like to dance?”

She looks up at me, her smile reappearing on her face.

“I would love to.”

She places her hand in mine and I clasp my fingers through hers as I pull her with me onto the middle of the dance floor.

I stop and turn around, facing Lily before I place my hand on her waist and hold her hand out to the side with the other. I would wrap both of my arms around her but again, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, especially with everyone around us. She places her free hand on my shoulder and we start to sway to the slow beat of the song.

This is our song. Neither of us had to say it but this is our song. It was the first song I sang to her and I might’ve picked it specifically because of the lyrics. It’s the song that I sing when she had trouble sleeping, knowing that it put her at ease and helped her have a peaceful sleep. And now, here on the dance floor, under the dark night and shining stars, it wasn’t a coincidence that this song started playing. I know it sounds cheesy as hell but I like to believe that it was meant to be. This past week has been everything I could ask for and this is the perfect thing to add to such a memorable time.

I wish the lyrics to this song could ring true to Lily and I. I want to be her last first kiss. I’m most positive that I’m the last person she’s kissed but I want it to stay that way. I want to be the only one she’ll kiss from here on out. No one else.

I don’t know what I’d do if I ever found out that she’s kissing someone else. I wish I hadn’t kissed Ivana. It was an irrational decision because the cameras were there and I wanted to hurt Lily for what I thought she did. I regret it. I don’t want Ivana to be my last first kiss. Even though we’re breaking up in a week, I wish I hadn’t kissed her. We didn’t have to. It wasn’t in the contract.

I wish I hadn’t so that Lily would still be my last first kiss.

I don’t want this night to end. I don’t want this next week to go by. I just want time to stop and just be here with Lily.

“What are you thinking about over there?”

I snap out of my thoughts and look down at Lily. A warm smile graces her lips and I instantly relax, just like it always has.

“Nothing. I…I just…I don’t like that you’re leaving in a week. I wish you could stay longer. Well, if anything, I wish you could stay here in London.”

Her smile widens and so does mine.

“I wish I could but I have to go back to school. I kind of want to graduate so I can be done with it already,” she laughs. “But hey, it’s not like we won’t see each other after I leave. I mean, you can visit when Louis visits Eleanor. And we can visit you guys when we’re not busy. And I promise, we’ll keep in touch. Everyday if we have to.”

“We better.” Without even realizing it, I pull her hand towards me, letting it rest in between my own and my chest. She doesn’t seem fazed by it. She even takes a step closer to me, her eyes darting in between mine.

“Harry, this past week has been amazing, and even tonight. I still have a week left but no matter what, I just want to thank you for making my summer so memorable. What I will never thank you enough for is helping me get over my fear. That’s something that I never thought I would do, something I never thought anyone could do for me. No matter what happened between us that we wish we could take back, I’m always going to remember the great moments that we shared. And I want you to, too.”

Why does this sound like goodbye?

I mean, maybe she’s just being sentimental right now but this is just reinforcing the fact that she’s leaving soon. I can’t even bring myself to think about what I’m going to say when she leaves, let alone right now.

“I will.” I wrack through my brain to think of what to say. Of course I have to say something. She just shared some of her feelings to me. I should do the same.

I wish I could tell her about the contract. She only has a week left and I just want her to know the truth. I want her to know that I’m still fighting for her. I want her to be mine again. But I know that that won’t happen if she thinks that I’m actually with Ivana and the fact that the contract ends the day before she leaves.

I want to tell her. I really do.

“Lily, I--”

“Harry, there you are!”

Please tell me this is some sick dream. Please.

Lily and I look to the side to see Ivana walking up to us.

What is she doing here? She’s supposed to be in…I don’t even know where she’s supposed to be but she isn’t supposed to be here.

Lily quickly pulls away and takes a step back. The light is gone from her face, her entire body. It disappeared the second we heard Ivana’s voice. A hint of sadness flits in her eyes but she avoids my gaze.

Lily is blocked from my view when Ivana steps in front of me and hugs me. It takes me a while to let everything sink in before I reluctantly hug her back.

“Hey, baby, I missed you.”

We pull away and I look over her shoulder to see Lily hugging her arms, still not looking at me.

I clear my throat and look back at Ivana. “You didn’t tell me you were back.”

Her eyebrow raises and a hint of a smirk appears on her face. “I wanted to surprise you.”

The way she said ‘surprise’ sent shivers down my spine. Before I can read her face some more, she turns around and faces Lily.

“Oh, Lily. I didn’t even see you there. How are you?” she links her arm through mine as she speaks to Lily with that annoying voice of hers.

“I’m great, thanks. How are you?”

“I’m perfect. I’m just glad to see my Harry again.” Ivana kisses my cheek and I see Lily quickly look away. I can see Lily about to walk away but my mum appears and stands beside her.

“Ivana, right? I’m Anne. Harry told me you couldn’t make it tonight,” my mum says. She extends her hand and Ivana shakes it. Thank god she didn't hug her. I’d like to think that even my mum likes Lily more than she likes Ivana. The fact that she hugged Lily and not Ivana makes me incredibly happy.

“Well, I couldn’t miss Harry’s mum’s birthday. What kind of girlfriend would I be?”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Ivana. And you made it just on time. We’re about to open presents.”

“Lovely. Come on, Harry.” She pulls me towards the tables and my mum and Lily lead the way. Ivana pulls me to sit at a table and my heart drops when I see Lily join the others.

Gemma is helping my mum gather all of the gifts and I look over to see Ivana, of course, on her phone. I know she was just putting on an act in front of my mum. Why the hell is she here? She doesn’t seem like she wants to be here. It’s not like there’s media here to take pictures of us. She won’t get any publicity here.

Suddenly, I hear Lily gasps. “Ashton!”

I snap my head up and see Lily quickly walking through the tables until I see Ashton and the rest of the lads walking behind him. Lily reaches him and she wraps her arms around him. He lift her off of the ground, laughing together before he places her back on the ground.

I can’t hear what they saying but it’s all smiles on their faces. She greets the others before all of them make their way back to the tables. Lily sits beside Ashton and all of them immediately talk amongst each other. I really want to go sit with them but this person beside me dragged me here, most likely so she wouldn’t have to socialize with them.

“Alright, let’s open presents!” my mum says. Everyone turns their attention to the front and watches as Gemma passes present after present to my mum, my mum opening every gift with a huge smile and thanking everyone. I sneak glances at Lily every once in a while, watching her as she talks to everyone and anyone around her. It bothered me a bit that Ashton had most of her attention and was making her laugh a lot.

My mum walks up to me when she opens my gift, a diamond necklace with A+G+H engraved on the back and gives me a hug and a kiss.

After all of the presents are opened, most of the guests start to leave, greeting my mum before they do.

“Thank you so much for the lovely party, sweetie,” my mum says as her and Gemma start putting on their jackets. She embraces me in a hug and leaves a kiss on my cheek.

“It’s nothing, mum. I’m glad you had fun.”

I bid them one more goodbye, walking them to their car and watching them drive away. I walk back to the backyard, seeing everyone who’s still here. All that’s left are the lads, Ed, Perrie, Eleanor, Sophia, Lily, Ivana and Ashton.

They’re all sitting on the patio and, unfortunately, the only seat left is beside Ivana, most likely because no one wanted to sit beside her. I sit down and everyone quiets down.

“So is this what we’re going to do for the rest of the night? This is so boring,” Ivana whines.

Everyone looks at her and then to me, waiting for me to say something but something beats me to it.

“Oh, sorry. Is this not what you typically do at night? Don’t worry. Next time, we’ll make sure to book a massage and a manicure for you.”

Almost everyone’s mouths open in shock as they look over at Lily. I see a red cup in her hand and know exactly what caused those words to come out of her mouth.

I look over at Ivana and see her smirking at Lily, not seeming bothered by what was said to her.

“Hm, well I have an idea,” Ivana drawls. “Why don’t we play a little game?”

I instantly freeze in my seat. I get an unsettling feeling in my stomach as I watch Ivana stare Lily down.

“And what is that?” Lily says.

She turns to look at me, her smirk bigger than over before she looks back at Lily.

“Why don’t we play a little game of Truth or Dare?”




Sorry for the long wait! I've been super busy with school!

Anyways, what do you think's going to happen?? Why do you think Ivana wants to play truth or dare??

I'm soooo excited to write the next chapter so vote and comment!

10 more likes and 10 comments before I post it!

And AHHHH I can't believe the last WWA show is tonight! It felt like it was just yesterday that it started and even the show that I went to! I can't wait to hear the new album as well!

Thanks for reading!

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