Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


143. Backseat

*smut warning*

Lily’s POV

“Mum! I’m going to take Harry around town. Show him around. We’ll be back later.”

I quickly tug Harry behind me, trying to avoid any chances of anything stopping us from our plan. My parents are sitting in the living room, watching a movie and they look up at us in confusion.

“Oh…um, alright. Don’t be out too late.”

All I can manage is a smile and a nod as we reach the front door. We rush to get our coats on and Harry barely has a chance to button it up before I take his hand and pull him outside.

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckles as I close the door.

I raise an eyebrow at him and cross my arms. “Oh, so you don’t want to anymore?”

I hold back my smirk when the one on his face disappears completely.

“Alright, then, let’s go back inside,” I add. I make a show of reaching out for the doorknob but he grabs my waist from behind and carries me to the car.

I laugh in his arms and then I squeal when I feel him bite gently on the back of my neck.

“Get in the car now,” he growls as he puts me down beside the car. He turns me around before swooping down and giving me a hard kiss.

I pull away and playfully glare at him. “Be nice.”

He bites his lips, holding back a smile, surely trying to remain intimidating. But he’s as intimidating as a puppy with a butterfly on its nose.

“Will you pretty please get in the car?”

I roll my eyes with a smile before I turn around and step inside. He walks around and gets inside the driver’s side.

“So, where are we headed?” he asks as he backs out of the driveway.

I guided him around town, knowing the perfect place to bring us. With the vast amount of fields in Framlingham, I bring us to one on the outskirts of town, practically in the middle of nowhere with no signs of houses within a mile radius. I tell Harry to pull over behind the edge of the trees, hiding us from any possible people driving past us.

There are no streetlights around us so we’re completely hidden in the shadows of the trees.

“How’s this?” I ask.

I can just make out Harry’s face from the moonlight but I can clearly see the smile on his face. He suddenly takes off his seatbelt before he leans in and takes the back of my neck, pulling me to him to connect our lips.

“It’s perfect,” he mumbles against the kiss.

I try to keep up with the urgent movements of his lips as I take off my seatbelt and lean even closer to him. His hands tug everywhere, basically pulling me into his seat. However, with the centre console in between us, I can tell that he’s just as frustrated that it’s getting in our way as I am.

I pull my lips away from his but, just like I expected, he trails them down my jaw and into my neck.

“Harry, let’s…let’s move to the back,” I say in between gasps.

He gives only a low growl in response and I literally have to pull myself away from his hands and lips. However, the second his touch leaves me, I crave it instantly. So I quickly hop over the console and ungracefully maneuver into the back seats.

I sit down and watch as Harry follows right after me. However, with his long legs, he accidentally hits the wheel, causing the horn to beep loudly.

We both jump at the sound but laugh, knowing that no one would be able to hear it.

Harry isn’t even fully in the backseats before he crashes his lips with mine. I grab each side of his face, pulling him to me as he sits down beside me. Without stopping the kiss, he grabs my hips and tugs me onto his lap to straddle him.

I move up onto my knees, kissing down onto his lips as his hands rip my jacket off, quickly followed by my sweater. I grab the back of his neck, pulling him back with me before my hands slide across his shoulders, pushing his jacket off of his body. And just like he had done with me, I quickly tug his shirt off and throw it onto the growing pile of clothes.

“Lean back on the console,” he rasps breathlessly.

I do as told, leaning back with my hands on the centre console and lifting my feet up on the seats. I watch as he grasps each side of my leggings and pulls them down, along with my underwear, in one quick motion. He leans down and places his lips on my stomach, leaving a trail of kisses up to my chest. He gives wet kisses all over my chest as I move back onto his lap and throw my head back in pleasure.

I gasp breathlessly, my hands roaming in the tangles of his hair and his move to my back to unclasp my bra. He grabs the front with just one of his hands and yanks it off my body, leaving me completely bare.

Even with the heater blasting around us, it’s Harry’s hands, his body that’s keeping me warm.

Not liking that I’m the only one with no clothes on, I move back up onto my knees and reach down to unbutton his jeans and pull down the zipper. I tug his jeans and his boxer briefs down his thighs and he helps with the rest by pulling it down the rest of the way before he kicks it off and leaves it on the floor.

This is what I’ve been dreaming about, being completely bare with Harry in this cramped car. The heat, the urgency, the anticipation is only heightened in the small space and the challenge that comes with it only spurs me to make this one of the best times we’re ever going to have.

I press my body against his, feeling his length brush against my heat, causing a moan to erupt from my throat. I’m about to lean forward to place my eager lips on his but he presses his hand gently at the base of my throat.

I snap my eyes open, watching his pupils dilate until they’re fully blown. Without a word, he slowly pushes me until my back is resting on top of the centre console in between the two front seats. I lean my head up, watching in anticipation as he takes my legs and rests them on his shoulders.

My breath quickens and I reach up to hold onto the headrests as I start to squirm in his hold. His hands glide down my sides until they stop at my bum. Keeping his eyes locked on mine, he pushes up at the same time that he lowers his mouth until his lips connect with my aching heat.

I gasp and throw my head back, giving out a little cry as his tongue moves everywhere. He flattens it as he swipes it along the entire slit before he points his tongue as he reaches my clït. He gives me a few more strong licks, getting me wetter by the second before he wraps his lips around my clït and slowly circles it with the tip of his tongue.

“Harry…” I gasp. “Keep going…more.”

He releases me with a smack of his lips but he quickly plants it at my entrance before he darts his tongue inside.

“Harry!” I shout out in pleasure. My legs tighten around his head but when his tongue moves even deeper and as his lips wrap around it before he sucks in, I loosen my grip. I start to feel the pleasure boiling in the pit of my stomach and in between my legs as he moves his tongue in and out and as his nose presses against my clït.

As I start to grind against his face, he starts to groan, intensifying the pleasure. I pant harshly in the small space around us, my hands moving up to grasp my hair as I start to get lost in the pleasure.

I can feel my muscles tightening around his tongue and I’m sure that he can tell that I’m almost there. Suddenly, he moves me forward without taking his mouth off of me and now that his hands are free, he takes one of his hands and presses his thumb against my clït.

I arch forward, my muscles convulsing as he darts his tongue even faster. His thumb moves faster, in sync with his tongue, and that’s when I feel the pleasure grow and grow until I fall off the edge with a scream of Harry’s name.

My legs shake around him, my stomach twitching as he continues to move inside of me, prolonging my orgäsm. He slows down, riding out my high before he leaves one more kiss and pulls away.

I attempt to catch my breath as he carefully pulls me back and takes my arms, tugging me up before he places me back in his lap.

He gives me lazy kisses, his hands roaming along my back as I try to recollect myself. Finally, I’m able to open my eyes and gaze down at him. The power behind the way he’s looking at me nearly leaves me breathless. Even though I had been the one that had gotten off, I can tell that it did something to him, too.

I know how much he loves pleasuring me. I know that he gets something out of it, too. Even though, I know that I want nothing more than to return the favor.

I'm about to move to the side but he stops me and slowly shakes his head.

“Next time,” he says softly. “I…I just want to be inside you right now.”

I smile softly as I brush his hair out of his face before I lean over and give him a gentle kiss.

The gentle kiss soon becomes more urgent, hungry, passionate, his tongue diving into my mouth as he pulls me harder against him. Already feeling myself get worked up again, I move up onto my knees and reach behind me, taking his length and guiding it to my entrance.

Leaning back just enough to be able to look at him, we keep our eyes on each other as I slowly lower myself back down.

I release a content sigh as I go as far as I can go and I feel Harry’s fingers dig into my hips. He takes control, lifting me up slowly until only the tip is left inside of me before he slams me back down.

“Oh, Harry…”

He does it again, slowly lifting me up before pulling me back down, harder every time.

“Baby, you feel so good around me. So wet and warm.”

I release a breathy moan at his words as he continues to move me against him. My nails dig into his scalp, surely leaving marks in its wake as I scratch it down to his neck.

I can feel myself getting wetter, from the way he moves easily in and out of me and from the sounds of wet skin slapping against each other showing just that.

Suddenly, he snaps his hips up at the same time he pulls me down and I convulse forward against him.

“Harry! Oh…faster…please. Harry…”

I brace myself as he slowly lifts me up again but, this time, when he slams me back down, he doesn’t stop. He starts to pound into me, the sound of slapping skin getting louder and louder in the car.

I can only moan in pleasure, Harry’s name bursting out here and there as the pleasure only continues to grow. I bury my face against his shoulder, unable to stop myself from biting down onto his skin.

He gives out a loud groan, the bite seeming to only urge him on as he manages to go harder until I start to see stars, the pleasure starting to become unbearable.

“Harry!” I start to cry, not sure how much longer I can last. “Harry, I’m almost there.”

“Make sure you say my name when you come,” he whispers against my ear. “I want you to scream it for me, baby.”

He moves his hands down to my bum, kneading the flesh for a while before he moves lower where we’re connected and spreads me wider. I gasp out his name as he somehow goes even deeper, deeper than I’ve ever felt him.

Knowing that I’m getting close, I tighten my walls around him, earning a deep and throaty groan to erupt from his mouth.


He continues to slam up into me and when he adjusts his hips just slightly, I scream out when he hits that spot.

“Oh, shi…Harry!”

He continues to pound into me, his fingers digging into me as I start to lose control. I lean back, wanting to look at him as we both reach our end.

When I look up at him, I see him already looking at me. Our heated gazes never leave each other as we continue to move against each other. I place my hands on either sides of his face, wanting to touch as much of him as I can.

I can see the pleasure moving around in his entire face, from his blown pupils to his gaping mouth. I can see his skin glistening in sweat and he’s never looked sexier.

I lean down to give him one last hot kiss before I pull away and lock gazes with him once again. I focus on the way he moves in and out of me, his hot length gliding easily along my tight walls before I feel the tip press against my spot over and over again.

“Come for me, baby,” he groans. “I’m almost there.”

Wanting to come with him, I tighten my walls once again before I help in crashing my hips down to meet his. His eyes close for a quick second before he forces them open to look back at me.

“Come with me, Harry. I want you there with me.”

He starts to go harder, faster. I can feel him twitching inside of me, getting harder and hotter.

“Keep your eyes on me, okay?” he groans. “I want you to look at me when you come.”

I gasp out a moan, feeling myself reach my peak.

He continues to pound into me, the sound of slapping skin and my slickness as he moves in and out of me mixing with our moans and cries of pleasure.

I keep my eyes on his and his stay on mine as his thrusts become sloppy. Unable to hold it back anymore, I finally come around him with a scream of his name.

“Harry! Harry! HARRY!”

I see his eyes glaze over just as I feel him twitch inside of me, hot spurts soon following as he fills me up.

“Lily, fuck! Baby!”

It only keeps going as he continues to thrust into me, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I convulse in the intensity of my orgäsm. He finally slows down as he rides out our highs and I slump against him, my body completely spent.

I catch my breath, resting my forehead in the crook of his neck as his fingers glide gently along my spine. 

“Every time, I think that it can’t get any better but you always seem to prove me wrong,” he rasps.

I smile. “I have to make sure I satisfy my man every time.”

“Don’t worry. You definitely accomplish that. Every single time.”


We sit there in silence for a while until we catch our breaths. I’ve basically melted against his body that I don’t want to move. My eyes start to droop and I actually think about sleeping.

“We should head back,” he says. “Your parents might get worried.”

I groan softly. “I don’t want to move.”

He chuckles as he brushes my hair away from my shoulders. “I would love that but I’m sure we’ll be more comfortable on your bed.”

I take one last deep breath before I lean back and look down at him. I didn’t realize that he was still inside of me so I carefully pull myself off of his lap and sit down on the seat beside him. Suddenly, he leans over, taking the back of my neck with his hand and swoops down to give me a hard kiss.

It’s slow and deep, his tongue swiping in to taste mine before he pulls away with a loud smack of our lips.

“That was amazing,” he grumbles. “That is definitely not the last time we’re doing that.”

My cheeks flush as I realize he’s talking about car sex. I nod, knowing that I definitely want to do this again.

I clean myself up and we start putting our clothes back on, glad that they didn’t get dirty from being carelessly thrown onto the floor. When we’re both dressed, he gives me another kiss before we both step out and switch to the front seats.

We drive back to my parent’s house in silence, knowing that we’re both basking in the post-pleasure euphoria still tingling under our skin.

I take his hand in mine like always, placing it in my lap as he focuses on driving. By the time we reach the house, I look up and see and all of the lights are off except the one from the porch. My parents must already be sleeping.

We hop out of the car and we walk back inside the house. We quietly make our way up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind us.

“You can take a shower first,” I say, walking over to my bag to grab my toiletries.

“You’re not going to join me?”

I roll my eyes before I smile up at him. “Definitely not under the same roof as my parents are in.”

He smirks at me as he grabs a fresh pair of boxer briefs and his shampoo and body wash. “Suit yourself. I’ll be in there if you change your mind.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

He goes into my bathroom, not even bothering to close it and I sit down on my bed just as I hear the shower turn on.

I turn on my TV and look for something to watch as I wait for Harry to be finished. I stop at a channel playing Home Alone and I instantly start getting more and more sleepy. Thankful for Harry and his quick showers, he steps out of the bathroom only wearing his boxer briefs, his hair wet and skin glistening from the hot steam.

Of course I can’t take my eyes off of him and he notices, a grin spreading across his face as he hops onto my bed.

“Like what you see?”

I playfully roll my eyes and quickly get out of bed to hide my blush. “I’ve seen better.”

I don't make it two steps before I feel him wrap an arm around my waist and pull me back down on the bed with a squeal.

I laugh as I look up at him as he hovers over me.

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“Hmm, let’s see. Chris Hemsworth. Channing Tatum. David Beckham—”

“Anyone you’ve seen in person?” he says, playfully glaring at me.

I bite my lip to hold back my smile. “Of course not. You have no competition there.”

His face breaks out in a triumphant smile. “You’re right about that. And same goes for you, baby. No one’s got you beat. Not even close.”

I lean up and give him a quick kiss. “Why, thank you.”

He turns my smile, his eyes darting down to my lips. “Now, go take a shower so we can go to sleep.”

Reluctantly, I pull away and slide out of bed. I go to the bathroom to take a shower and brush my teeth as quick as I can, deciding to sleep in Harry’s sweater tonight. Knowing what he likes, I decide against wearing sweats.

I turn off the light in the bathroom and step out to my room to see Harry already fast asleep. I turn off the TV and the lamp on my bedside table before I carefully slide into bed. He wakes at the movement, his eyes heavily lidded as he tries to open them. He extends his arm around and I rest my head on it, pressing myself against his body as he wraps his arms around mine.

I feel him place a kiss on the top of my head before we both settle in the bed. I release a content sigh, feeling the tension from this entire day start to disappear from my muscles.

“Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, baby. Sweet dreams.”

I bury my face into his neck, inhaling his smell and letting it further sooth me. He tangles his bare legs with mine, leaving us completely entangled together. With the day we had and now being completely surrounded by Harry, it doesn’t take me long to fall into a peaceful slumber.

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