Becoming Jay

Jay wishes he was a "normal" boy, but he's not. Most boys aren't born in a girl's body. When Jay decides to move forward with his identity, the first person he tells is Samantha, his long time friend and crush. What difficulties will Jay and Sam encounter? Will Jay ever be Jay? And will he and Sam have a happy ever after?

PS This story is about something serious, and being transgender isn't a joke. If you don't like people being trans*, keep it to yourself. It's a real feeling, so don't be a douche about it.


4. I'm not afraid to take a stand

"Are you sure you want to do this? Even with what happened last night?" Emma said. She was clearing up the breakfast table, putting dishes in the dishwasher. 
"I'm sure," Jay said, purposefully trying to make his voice sound deeper. He shifted around in his binder, tugging at the crotch of his jeans, trying to fix his packer. It was the first time Jay was wearing all of his gender identity aids, as he called them, out and about. Emma was coming to the office with him and Sam to see what they can do about his gender in school, like using the boys bathrooms and changing rooms, and being called his chosen name and using his chosen pronouns. Sam took Jay's hand yet again. Sam knew that Jay loved holding hands more than anything else. He felt like it was full of symbolism, like you were linking your life with someone, telling them silently that you will pick them up when they fall. Jay looked at her and smiled. "I can do this. I have you," he said, kissing her lightly on the lips. Emma smiled at them. She was proud of her daughter for standing by her friend. For following her heart, for not messing up. For helping him. Emma, Sam, and Jay drove to the school in silence. It was tense. They were all worried. ON the way into school, Jay got a lot of looks. He purposefully tried to appear as masculine as he could today. He had a beanie on, so most of his hair was hidden. He had waxed his face to get rid of the peach fuzz, so rather than looking childish or feminine, he looked clean shaven. He wore loose jeans and a 
loose jumper, but it was still obvious that his chest was flat and there was a bulge at his crotch. When they reached the office, Emma knocked politely on the door. The secretary looked up from her work disapprovingly. They were a distraction. 
"What?" she said in a deadpan voice.
"Can we talk to the principal?" she asked. The secretary gave her a look of "Please never talk to me again", but nonetheless answered her.
"Not right now. But you can talk to the deputy principal," she said. The secretary left her office and went into the room next door. She poked her head back out momentarily. "Who are you lot?" she asked.
"I'm Emma Barton, and that's Samantha Barton and Jay - sorry - Jessie Lord," Emma said politely. A few moments later, the secretary emerged again.
"You can go in," she said, walking back into her own office, resuming her presumably boring work. Emma, Sam, and Jay entered the room quietly. Both Sam and Jay were familiar with the deputy principal. Her name was Mrs Bunting. She was a nice lady, but it would be questionable as to how much she can do. Or how much she'd want to.
"Right, take a seat now," she said. Sam stood, as there was only two chairs, and Jay and Emma sat. The desk that separated them seemed like a barrier. Mrs Bunting was smiling at them, he wrinkly face a picture of cheer, her grey hair framing her wizened look. "I'm guessing you've come to me about a touchy subject," she said, "Because you," she said, pointing to Emma, "Are not this child's guardian." 
"You're right," Emma said quietly. "It is a touchy subject. Mrs Bunting, you know Jessie. Well Jessie isn't comfortable being Jessie. Jessie wants to be Jay. And Jay is a boy." Mrs Bunting nodded. 
"I understand the situation, but I'm unsure what you want from us," she said. "Do you want permission to use the boy's bathrooms and changing rooms? Do you want your teachers and peers to call you Jay, and use the right, um, pronouns, is it?" Mrs Bunting said.
"Yes, that's what he wants," Emma said. 
"I'm sorry, but I don't know how much I can do without his parents word," Mrs Bunting said, looking seriously at Jay. "Jay, I understand what you want, and I understand how much easier it would make things for you, but you parents permission is required for many things. Either that, or a proper diagnosis of gender identity disorder from a licensed doctor."
"But Mrs, I can't afford counselling, and my parents kicked me out," Jay said, pleading. 
"Look," Mrs Bunting said. "I will do what I can. I can probably muster pronouns, and your name, but no more. And until then, I suggest you go to the school counsellor. She can't get you a diagnosis, but when you muster the money, she can recommend someone, and until then she can keep you sane."
"Thank you, Miss," Jay said. "I realise how much you are doing, and I appreciate it."
"And for the time being, Jay, I permit you to use the wheelchair toilets until further notice," Mrs Bunting said. 
"Thank you, Miss," Jay said. He nodded to her in respect and left the office with Emma and Sam. 
"Jay, is that okay, for now?" Emma asked.
"It's more than okay, Emma. It's a step in the right direction, and it's more than I've had before," Jay said. 
"You'll be okay, son," Emma said, smiling. "You're one hell of a fighter." 
"C'mon Jay," Sam said. "We better get our books and stuff. You read for the day?" 
"As I'll ever be," Jay replied. "At least I have you to help me." Jay kissed her on the forehead, lightly. They slowly made their way to the locker rooms, hand in hand, dealing with the odd looks on the way. The reached the locker rooms in one piece, got their books, and went to sit on the steps. The same steps where they had first kissed the day before.
"Did you ever think 24 hours could change things as much as they have?" Jay asked. 
"No," Sam admitted. "Then again, yesterday I didn't think I'd be dating you, and I didn't think you would tell me who you really are, and I didn't think I would love you as much as I do in this moment." Jay kissed her again. 
"I love you too," he said. The magic words had been said. "Sammy?"
"Yeah?" Sam said, curious as to what Jay would say next. 
"How'm I supposed to get enough money for counselling? I have to get that diagnosis for hormones, for surgery, to get to use the bathrooms. How do I get money for surgery, on top of that, and the hormones?" Jay was starting to panic.
"Honey," Sam said, her voice alone soothing Jay. "Don't worry about the money. We'll bring your parents around. They'll help. My parents will help. I'll help. Mrs Bunting will help. The school counsellor will help. I don't know how fast we can do it, I don't know how, but I know we will." Sam kissed him, touching his neck with her hand, pulling him into the kiss. Their lips moved in sync, perfect opposite movements, in perfect time. They became lost in their own world, where all that mattered was them. Once again, they released each other at the same time, like two parts of one machine, two halves of a shape. They knew each other so well that they knew when to move, and what to say. 
"Today won't be easy," Jay said, his face serious, his voice flat. "Especially if our form teacher says it to everyone to call me Jay and treat me like a guy." Sam smiled at him.
"It'll be okay," she said, her voice alone calming Jay's nerves. The school bell rang, and they made their way to form room. The waited at the end of the corridor, about ten feet from form room, until their form teacher, Mr Tubridy, unlocked the door and let the class in. Sam and Jay went to enter last, and Mr Tubridy put a large, strong hand on Jay's shoulder. 
"Can I talk to you for a minute, kid?" he asked. He was smiling, so Jay wasn't in trouble.
"Yes, sir," Jay said, hanging back outside the room. He gestured for Sam to go on inside, a silent "I'll be okay." Mr Tubridy leaned against the wall. 
"Jay, is it?" Mr Turbidy asked, still smiling widely. Jay nodded politely. "Well, son," Mr Tubridy started. "It's not gonna be easy, okay? There's a lot of guys in there who won't understand. and when they don't understand, they get afraid. And fear makes them angry. The girls will be quieter about it, but words will pass. Now son, are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure this is what you want, and today?" Jay looked Mr Tubridy in the eye.
"Sir, it's been sixteen years since I was born in the wrong body. And for sixteen years, I have wanted this. Today is the day," Jay said, as serious as Mr Tubridy had ever seen a sixteen year old boy get. 
"As you wish," Mr Tubridy said. "What do you want me to say to them?" Jay thought for a moment.
"Just say that Jessie would like to be called Jay and considered male in the eyes of his peers from now on," Jay said. Mr Tubridy nodded. 
"Okay. Into class," he said, opening the door for Jay. Everyone turned to look at him. The boys in the back row sniggered. The girls in the row in front of them whispered between themselves, shooting dirty looks at Jay. Then he came to the front row, his friends, and Sam, smiling happily up at him. He sat down at the edge of the row, beside Sam. He twiddled his fingers nervously on the table, his heart beating fast, breathing heavily. Sam put her hands on his, and Jay instantly felt calmer. Safer. 
"I only have the one announcement this morning, class," Mr Tubridy said, he himself nervous for Jay. "Jessie would like to be called Jay from now on, and considered male in your eyes. Keep in mind this is a matter of respect, and that it means a lot to Jay. You're dismissed."

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