"Now for the first time in Hogwarts, we are allowing to have one head girl and one head boy for each house. That means that the person here in front are the ones who are going to be this year's head girls and head boys. Let's give them a round of applause."

Wait.. If Mcgonagall said that the persons in front are going to be the head boys and head girls for the year then basically... Chase is the head girl of Slytherin!! No.. No way.. Just no.


2. Two

"Head Girl Keaton Chase. Wow what a title." Sharon said as she tries to balance her alcohol filled body.

I smiled as I half carry drunk Sharon. Good thing she can walk a little because going up using the staircases in Hogwarts is just a piece of shit.

While I'm having a really hard time getting Sharon to balance herself, the staircase suddenly changed it's direction. They just don't cooperate with you don't they?

"Fuck ass stairs" I cursed at the moving staircase. We did stop for a moment because if we didn't I'm pretty sure were going to fall down due to lack of balance. After what seemed like forever, the stairs had finally stopped moving.

"Sharon help me out please." I whispered to Sharon's left ear.

"Hmm.. Oh okay." She said wrapping her left arm on my shoulders. We walked for a few more steps when she suddenly collapsed. Yes, you heard me right. She collapsed. I began to panic but then I remembered that she drank too much alcohol last night. I tried to wake her up but it was no use, she fell asleep on me. I sighed as I drag her body upstairs. I did literally dragged her upstairs. What? she's so heavy.

When I reached the last step of the staircase, I saw Bryan walking by. I immediately asked for his help.

"Yo Bryan help me out will you. This dick holder is too heavy to drag" I shouted. Bryan gave me a laugh but then he realized that I was damn serious about dragging a dick holder all the way up here. So he helped me out. He half carried Sharon's body while I carry the other half. The bad thing is that we can hardly walk due to Sharon's petite yet heavy built. I sighed when I realized that thought. We walked in the empty hallways feeling tired and sleepy but then we heard a noise. Well actually it's more like a song. A muggle one, I may add.

Stacy, can I come over after school?

We can hang around by the pool

Did your mom get back from her business trip?

Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip?

Bryan looked at me and I looked at him. We both know that we need to find where the song is coming from. Why? Because we bloody love that song. We left Sharon sleeping in a corner. (Sorry dude but if you are awake you'll probably do the same thing.) We ran to where the song is louder and after a few turns we end up to a room called Head Girl and Head Boy of Slytherin Common Room. I guess this is where I'm going to stay for the rest of the year. I opened the door and to my surprise it is not locked. Thank goodness for that.

I looked at Bryan with a mischevious grin as we both tiptoe our way inside the room. We both smiled when we saw a stereo shouting Stacy's Mom's chorus. Bryan lip-synced a few lines while I pretend to play an electric guitar. After a few minutes, I turned around and saw my luggage and Tony sitting on a green bed.

For those who didn't know, Tony is my owl. I called him that because when my old owl died and I need to buy a new one, I was currently addicted to the Avengers comic series, especially Tony Stark's character. Oh how I love Ironman. If he was just..

"Earth to Kea" Bryan snapped me out.

"Don't you dare call me like that again or else I'm going to hex you to pieces." I warned him.

"Okay... Okay.... Who could possibly leave a stereo playing a muggle song?" Bryan asked with his eyes looking at me.

"Don't look at me I just got here and I don't remember going here to drop my lugg.... Malfoy!" I shrugged.

Bryan's eyes widen. "Look another room"

We again tiptoed towards the room Bryan saw. It was dimly lit and you could hear toilet flushes going on. It was obviously the bathroom. We quietly opened the door and saw half naked Malfoy singing. Don't ask why the door is open because I honestly don't know the answer to that question.

Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?

Your mom came out with just a towel on

I could tell she liked me from the way she stared

And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there"

"Let's get down to business ladies. I know all of you want a piece of the Slytherin prince but only one person gets it and that's you" Malfoy said using Liam Neeson's voice. He used the comb as his microphone when he sang another chorus of Stacy's Mom.

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

She's all I want, and I've waited so long

Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me

I know it might be wrong, but I'm in love with Stacy's mom

"Oh yeah baby" Malfoy moaned. "The virgin slayer is back" He said as he flex his muscles. It's not that I'm looking at his muscles, it's just the next thing he did after creating some sex noises. I'm dead serious, he did created some sex noises after singing the chorus of Stacy's Mom.

Bryan and I laughed, snorted and rolled on the floor like there was some fire on our back that we are trying to extinguish. Malfoy obviously noticed us, pointed his wand at the two pigs (Me and Bryan) that are rolling on the floor while laughing their asses off . What? Draco Malfoy singing Stacy's Mom and making sex noises is just so damn funny. Like seriously dude what is your definition of hilarious?

"Get out here you filthy mudbloods" Malfoy shouted with his wand still pointed at us. His other hand though is preventing his teeny weeny dick from showing off. Again it's not like I'm looking at his dick. It's just very obvious that he's trying to hide it.

"The virgin slayer is back.. Be scared kids before I make you lose your virginity.. Bwahahaha" Bryan mocked him.

"Get out Weber" Malfoy said. Wow I can't believe that he knows what Bryan's surname was.

"Fine what ever you say virgin slayer. Let's go Keaton." Bryan said as wait for me by the door.

"No Chase stays here. It's her room you know."

"My room?" I asked.

Malfoy rolled his eyes."Haven't you seen your luggage?"

"Oh okay.. But if you ever need to fuck somebody, fuck Keaton first. She's known for it." Bryan smirked as he close the door to the room.

Malfoy suddenly scanned my body. He started from my shirt and ended up staring at my pair of Converse. He then smirked at me.

"Don't you even dare" I warned Malfoy.

"Oh I won't promise that" Malfoy winked at me.

"Bitch you ain't gonna get a piece" I said as I stand up from the floor.

"Chill Chase. I'm not going to fuck you." Malfoy smiled.

"And why's that?" I asked, grabbing a bottle of water from my luggage.

"Because I don't want your muggle germs to be near my flamming hot body" I spit all the water I have inside my mouth to Malfoy. I can't help it, he tries to make me see that he's hot.

"You're just scared because I have a dick longer and harder than yours" I smirked as I point at his fries like dick.

"No you did not just insulted my dick" He said.

"Oh yes. I just did. So if I were you, put some damn clothes on because being half naked makes your balls look like marbles." I joked.

"Fine" He mumbled and entered the bathroom again. I sighed as I drank the rest of the remaining water from my bottle. After a few minutes, Malfoy got outside of the bathroom wearing a white shirt and a Coca Cola pajama. He had his blonde hair messed up that made his eyes pop. Wait. What?

"Earth to Kea" He snapped me out.

"I said don't call me that!" I shouted.


Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne


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