Unable to Breathe

Maria's body is slowly rotting away, a useless piece of mass. Her mind has separated itself from it, fearing what will happen if she becomes one with it once more.
And what if she does?

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2. Chapter 2

One eye opens, then the other, blinking away flecks of green and yellow binding them together. 
"Maria?" It's Anne, eager and excited as ever. She reaches forwards, lightly shaking my shoulder. "Ma! Ma, come quick! She's awake! F' real!"
I hear my mother's heavy footsteps as she trudges over. She stops next to my bed, then leans over and breathes in my face, the scent of alcohol washing over me in a tidal wave. 
And then she's gone. 
I shudder weakly, and not just mentally. My body shudders too, the body which I'm back inside and in control of. 
I smile. 
I'm in control of my body again. I can live again, really live with no one to stop me. I sit up, to the Doctor's dismay who pushes me straight back down, but I don't care. 
I
Am
Alive. 
Anne steps closer, takes my hand in hers. "Maria?" she says tentatively, as if checking if I really am there and not some cruel apparition. 
I squeeze her fingers together gently. 
"Anne."
And that's when my body convulses and the whole vicious cycle begins again. I scream and my body screams too, frantically gasping for breath. Through my blurred vision I see Nurses dashing in a mad frenzy, Anne wailing in dismay. 
My Ma sits dazed in a corner, oblivious. 
As per usual. 
My world jolts and my body squirms in its bed. I'm spinning, spinning and screeching madly, yearning for a way out and then it stops. 
I can see clearly.
I can see my situation all too clearly. 
I am stranded, up in the sky, floating through space; my body thrashes in all directions on a hospital bed. 
Sometimes I pray my life will become the haze it used to be rather than this 24/7 high definition. 
Maybe it will. 
Maybe. 
Anything would be better than this.
Maybe someday I'll get to die.
Maybe.
I wish. 

 

 

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