Running Scared - In Search of Truth Pt1

My NaNoWriMo Entry for 2013.

Sinead and Tom are two like minded spirits who find that love is hard to share. They must overcome the everyday problems they have to find if Pokemon actually survive. From grimy Stockby, their search takes them to Malaysia and the truth, but can they handle the truth and will they be together at the end?

Please note that is not a novel about Pokemon.

Inspired by a conversation around a campfire.

Dedicated to the real Sinead. #iLECT

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3. Reflections

'Do you want a drink with this?' Sinead said placing a plate of sandwiches in front of me. She kissed my forehead before starting back to the kitchen.

I smiled 'Yes please', I watched her as she walked out of the room, thinking what a lucky person I was. I checked the screen once again, pressing F5 to refresh. A new message flashed up, immediately I leaned forward to read it. It wasn't Kiyoshi though, but a client asking me to quote for a new website. I was reading through what he wanted when Sinead came back into the room carrying a mug of tea.

‘Anything?' she asked leaning over to read the screen.

'Just a client', I said looking up, 'could be a good earner if I get the contract' For a second I saw the disappointment return to her face, but it was just a flicker. Her emotions were once again under control.

'I'm off for a shower whilst you deal with that' she said, 'won't be long. Call me if we get an email'

A few minutes later I heard her favourite rock music coming from the speakers in the bathroom. I sat back in my chair smiling. I hadn't realised how unhappy I'd been until Sinead became part of my life. These past three months had flown by, every day was a pleasure to wake up. So much had happened in so little time.

It had been a whirlwind romance. Sinead had phoned me the next day and we'd talked for a couple of hours on the phone before I dared to ask her if she wanted to meet up. I'd picked her up from the town and we'd gone to Nando's. Over the course of that evening we found out we had so much in common it was uncanny. We talked about books, games, holidays. We were there so long that the staff were ready to throw us out at the end of the evening.

Over the next few days we met up every night. My whole life seemed to be taken over by thoughts of her. Sinead had invaded my brain and the sensation spread like wildfire throughout my body. I couldn't work right, my mind wasn't on web design. I even found it hard to concentrate on computer games. My whole world had been turned upside down. The cause of it, a wonderful girl.

My insecurities began to surface. What if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I'm overbearing? What happens when she dumps me for someone else? The last one was constantly in my head. It had happened way to many times in the past for it not to be worrying me. At university I'd been in a relationship that had turned sour after a few months. The pain and anguish from that breakup had soured my life. It was a few days after this that I heard the tragic news of the car crash. My life ripped apart in a few days. From bliss to devastation I thought I’d never recover from it. The love Sinead had shown for me had changed my world. I felt like I was gliding through the air like a swift free from all cares, soaring to great heights.

I thought about that wonderful first weekend we'd spent in our little tent overlooking Filey bay. That had only been a couple of weeks after we'd met. We'd spent days walking hand in hand along the beach, as if in a film. Evenings spent in a local Italian restaurant stuffing ourselves with pasta and cheap read wine, before climbing back slowly back to our tent high on the cliffs. Here we'd lay, listening to the sea crashing into the rocks below, deliriously happy making plans for the future. I’d proposed that weekend whilst walking to the end of the Brigg. I’d looked into her eyes as I asked the question, hoping that she’d say yes. I saw a glint and smile in her eyes and a nod of her head that got more vigorous I felt ten feet tall. The girl that I loved and respected wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. However she wanted to keep it a secret, not tell anyone.

Her artwork adorned the walls of the front room. A sketch of Filey Bay looking out from our camping spot hung framed above our bed. I couldn’t look at it without the memories of that fantastic weekend flooding back. She rarely went home these days. I'd met her parents a couple of times, but I don't think they liked me. The meetings were strained and uncomfortable. A few days after the last of these meetings Sinead started to spend more and more time at my house. Her usual wall went up everytime I tried to discuss what had happened. Her sister used to call in from time to time to visit us. She was a nice kid, very much like Sinead. However I was under strict orders to not divulge the fact we were engaged to her, or anyone. At first I was a little put out. Didn’t she mean it, why weren’t people to know about us?

When I threatened to tell her sister, Sinead disappeared for a couple of days. I remember the torment that my mind went through. The heaviness of my heart while I sat at home waiting, not knowing what was happening. I tried her phone almost constantly, but it went straight through to voicemail everytime. I contemplated visiting her home to talk to her, but the scars of my previous relationship were a constant thorn in my side. I hated rejection and feared the worst.

After two sleepless nights and days I decided to confront her at her home. As I was opening the door, Sinead breezed in carrying a suitcase. Upstairs I watched as she unpacked clothes into the wardrobes and drawers. She paced a battered old teddy on the pillow of the bed, before sitting down. We talked long into that night. It transpired that she’d taken it on herself to go and tell her parents about us. Apparently they thought I’d led their little girl astray. Sinead’s dogged character had come to the forefront as she’d spent the next two days trying to persuade her mum and dad that I wasn’t some kind of sex fiend. Everything she said fell on deaf ears. Eventually she’d packed her things and moved out. As she said, they knew where she was if they wanted to get in touch. After that she never talked about her parents. They went behind her mental wall as well. Here we were, the two of us, both with no parents.

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