Running Scared - In Search of Truth Pt1

My NaNoWriMo Entry for 2013.

Sinead and Tom are two like minded spirits who find that love is hard to share. They must overcome the everyday problems they have to find if Pokemon actually survive. From grimy Stockby, their search takes them to Malaysia and the truth, but can they handle the truth and will they be together at the end?

Please note that is not a novel about Pokemon.

Inspired by a conversation around a campfire.

Dedicated to the real Sinead. #iLECT

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4. Looking Back - Sinead's Point of View

I hit the play button on the bedroom stereo and stepped through to the en-suite bathroom, just as the female singers voice broke through the driving rock guitar and drum beat. 'I've gotta try, It's not over yet ,No signals of love' As I reached across the bath, I sang along to the words of Sinead.I switched on the shower before exiting back to the bedroom. I pulled off my t-shirt and sat on the edge of the bed to take off my jeans. Glancing up to the wall I saw the sketch I'd done of Filey Bay . I smiled to myself remembering that precious weekend we’d spent looking out on the from the tent. Standing up I removed the rest of my clothes before moving back to the bathroom. I tested the heat of the water. Before stepping in I glance across at the full length mirror. I didn’t like my body. It appeared too big, there were too many curves for my liking. I’d never admit to anyone, least of all Tom that I hated the way I looked naked.

Tom said he loved my 'lumps and bumps' as he referred to them. I thought I looked way too big. I tried not to look down at my body at all usually. It was an embarrassment to me, I covered it up as much as I could.

I stood under the shower allowing the needles of hot water pulverise my body. Oh how it was so nice to have a shower when the rest of your family aren't hammering on the door. There was only me and Tom in the house. I didn't even bother to lock the door these days. I wondered if Tom would pay me a visit in the shower like he sometimes did. The thought made my skin tighten. The steady stream of water and the warmth of steam were beginning to have an effect on me. I glanced towards the door, hoping to spot Tom sneaking in, but no one came.

Damn you Tom I thought, why you picked this moment to not make an appearance. I reached for the shower gel. I'd never get mad with Tom though. I loved him so much, ever since I'd first seen him at the Youth Club. He hadn't noticed me then, but I'd noticed him. I'd vowed to my sister that night that I'd marry him. I laughed inwardly to myself. I never really thought I'd end up living with him.

Back in school, Tom's mum had helped me a few times when I was being bullied. I had read with deep sadness about the fatal car crash that had ended their lives. Occasionally I saw Tom around town. I got this weird feeling every time I saw him. he wasn't particularly handsome. Half the girls wouldn't have fallen over themselves to get to him, but I don't know what it was, call it chemistry, I knew he was the one. He was never mad, never angry. He seemed to have loads of time for everyone.

I'd never told him that I'd been to his parents’ funerals. He'd looked so vulnerable. Bleary red eyes, white-washed skin against the contrasting black suit and tie. I promised myself then I'd talk to him.  The problem was my shyness. Over the years I'd developed this persona to stop people hurting me. I tried not to show emotion at all. Never asked for anything. Over the years I pushed people out to the extent that now I was afraid to let even those close to me in. I worried that I'd eventually drive Tom away with my coldness.

I thought about how I'd engineered the meeting in the pub that brought us together. I woke every morning thanking the stars that I'd had the nerve to do it. Tom himself was so shy he'd never have asked me. Tom was my first love, he meant everything to my world. I remembered the weekend in Filey that we spent. The tender nights spent in blissful ecstasy. My hands moved lower down my body stroking as they went, my eyes closing in memory.

'Sinead, come quickly, there's been a reply' Toms voice broke through my growing delirium. I laughed out loud, I don’t think that’s what he had in mind.

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