You're a victim to your own mind

She was falling.
Deeper and deeper.

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1. The first chapter

I couldn't help it. I just never believed that I could be like anyone else. Because everyone else seemed so confident in their own skin and I just wasn't. No one else really struggled like that.

It was summer. It wasn't as hot as it usually was around that time of year, not that I was complaining. It was the perfect excuse for me to wear multiple bracelets and long sleeves. Either way though, I always wore long sleeves and sweaters and bracelets and whatever.

Life was just so shit. I couldn't breathe properly. I just wanted to let go, to push the chair away and let the rope hang me to the ceiling fan and pull me closer to my death. Or  to drag the metal a little deeper into my wrists. Or to pull a trigger against my head.

I was going crazy, like I couldn't figure out if I wasn't breathing or if I was hyperventilating. I couldn't sleep, and the mirror always reminded me of the imperfections. It was like there were voices in my head, telling me that the person over there is prettier and that one is sportier, that one is good at drama and that one could dance. I couldn't do any of that.

God, life was fucked up. I couldn't tell if it was what everyone else was doing to me or if it was what I was doing to myself.

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