Dark ll || Z.M

'I am not going to loose you again Brook!' he yelled at me, his eyes fully on anger. 'Zayn I can do what I want to do!' I shouted back, finding my voice. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, 'In those three months you seem to of forgotten your mine' he whispered harshly, 'you seem to of forgotten, you do as your told' he snapped.

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65. Soon Wearing White.

Brook's Pov

 

That night hadn't changed much. I still stayed with Harry though my heart had told me not too. If walked away from him, I don't really know where the next good thing would come from. So a few weeks had passed and it was now June. Me and Harry we going good, and it was an odd thing. I wasn't entirely comfortable with no fights, no arguments, I think that part of my brain was feeling deprived of emotion. However it was May now, and next week it would be June. The days dragged, and I didn't know what to do with myself, not having to go against Steve, or not have Zayn to fight with, not having any drama was actually pretty tiresome. I know I had wished for it to leave, but now it was gone I wanted it back.

 

In truth, I would probably repeat the last year and a half of my life, doing everything the same. If it meant having more happy times, that were always accompanied by the sad ones. Maybe I would change small parts, I wouldn't fight as much with Zayn, though at he moment that is what I was missing the most. Us getting mad at each other. I was sat at the breakfast table with Louis. Everyone was out, I didn't really pay attention to where they said they were going. “Brook we have been going over this for days, there isn't anything in there that certifies a specific line” he told me, “Louis there has to be” I moaned and took the paper from him. We had been looking at the letter from Zayn for days, weeks maybe, I lost count. I just wouldn't settle for the fact that he didn't leave me any clue as to which line was the lie.

 

Then I had the only thought I could muster up, after all this time we had been looking for the letters. Maybe it wasn't even on the letter, maybe Zayn said that cover himself up. I smiled lightly, “If you really think I have given up on you, your crazy” I whispered to myself, Zayn had wrote that in the “Things I wish I said”. If he said that last, then he hadn't given up. “One line I say to you today will be a lie” I said again, whilst Louis paced the kitchen. I laughed to myself and covered my mouth, “What?” he asked me, “He lied” I smirked to myself. I knew Zayn far too well, and when he made a point of something he was normally lying, or telling the gods honest truth. But this lie was different, I should of known. “It isn't in the letter” I murmurer.

 

“Your telling me we have wasted all this time, on that?” he pointed to the piece of paper. “He tells to guess the lie, it wasn't even on the letter, the morning of the wedding, he said it would be spoken and written, the lie” I spoke, and he nodded for me to continue. “He said “One line will be a lie”...” I paused, and whispered “That was the lie” I smiled lightly. “What?” he asked me, “When me and Harry got back into town a few weeks ago, he called me and told me I had to figure it out alone... he didn't mention the letter, he wanted to figure out that all of that “One line” crap was bullshit” I smirked up at Louis, still sadness lay in my eyes. “So wait, does that mean it was all a lie, or it was all true?” Louis asked me, “That's the next thing, I need to know” I spoke.

 

“If one lie was a lie and the rest were true, there was no way in ordering which line could be most important. If it was all a line, that meant he still loved me, and he didn't want me with Harry. But if it was all true then that hurt more than just knowing one line was a lie. “You can't keep doing this to yourself, I know I said I would help, but look at you Brook, your a mess” he whispered, and touched my cheek with his fingertips. “I am fine Louis” my voice shook a little bit. “Look sweetheart, I love you, your like a little sister to me, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself because of him again” he told me, “I just need to know Louis” I whispered. “How do you know it was that line?” he asked me, I took a breath, “because he talked about lies, and wrote about them... it has to be that line, I know him Louis” I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair.

 

“Or do you not want to believe that he could have been saying all those things, because they were true” he spoke, “Stop it” I warn him, “I am just saying Brook, Zayn is a master manipulator, and he knows you too, maybe he wanted you to think that it was the line, so you felt like this” he told me, “Enough!” I shouted, standing up. My breathing was heavy and I wasn't sure what to do. “Zayn doesn't love me, okay? I don't need you to remind of that!” I snapped at him, “He isn't so cruel that he would make me think he did, he is a lot of things Louis but he isn't like that” I tell him, “I'm sorry” he told me, “Yeah, me too” I whispered, and looked to the floor, and stood with Louis in silence. Nearly six months and I still had tears for Zayn Malik.

 

“We are home” I heard a loud voice, and hurried to the table to pick up the letter. The boys didn't need to know about this, especially not Harry. “In here” I called back, and Louis sent me a sympathetic smile. “Hey” Harry walked in smiling, like a ball of pure light that had just walked into the room, and he picked me up in his arm hugging me tightly, “How's your day been?” he asked me, “Normal” I smiled lightly, and he kissed me softly. “So, I need you to go and put something pretty on, because I am taking you out” he told me, “Oh Harry, can't we just stay in?” I asked him tenderly, and touched his cheek with my hand, and he smirked at me and shook his head, “I love you, but no... we can't” he told me, and kissed my forehead and turned around.

 

I sighed, “When do we leave?” I asked him, and he turned with that dreadfully cute smirk planted on his lips. “In like an hour, so take your time” he told me, and I smiled lightly. “You okay?” I heard Louis behind me, and I nodded softly to him, I am sorry” he told me, and I just nod again. “I am going to go and get ready now then” I spoke quietly, “Everything okay, love?” Harry called, and I turned around to face the four boys in my kitchen, and I sighed lightly planting another smile onto my lips. “Yeah, I am just tired” I smiled lightly at them all, and Niall sent me wandering eyes, then raised his eyebrows. “Do you need one of our talks?” he smirked, “If you mean a lecture, no” I told him, and turned around to walk up the stairs.

 

I went up stairs and showered, washing all the bad thoughts away. Leaving them to drown in the water, I fucking hated this. I mean even now, I was still so tired from loving Zayn. I was exhausted, you needed a young heart to fall in love with Zayn Malik. You needed it to be fresh and red, so he could dig into and put a Zayn saying “Property of Zayn” and even then he would dig himself into it even deeper, and then when you think your far to in love already, he sows your heart up again with a little bow to match. Then he rips a hole in your heart, where he kicked his way through to leave and there is a glowing EXIT sign. You see my heart was old now. It had been kicked, punched and tore to shreds. It was by only lovers, it was by family and friends, enemies, and myself. I was the walked TV ad for self destruction, and I would sell that product well.

 

I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around myself, and walked into the room that still sent shivers all over my body when I walked in. I sat down on the bed for a moment or two just thinking to myself. I am not to sure what it was about. I looked at my self in the long mirror, and I didn't know the girl looking back at me. The colour of my eyes was even different, it was like a low mist on the mountain side took shelter there. I still had the scars on my body, and I expected Zayn to walk through the door like he did when we were “Just friends” and tell me that I was still beautiful, but now I wasn't. I was pale, I had dark circles under my eyes, and laughter lines faded. I was a mess, and I couldn't do anything about it.

 

I dressed then in a tight black dress and a leather jacket with black studded heels. I curled my hair that had grown slightly so it was now below my shoulders. I applied make up, and lipstick countless times. I looked once more around the room like I did each time before I left, just in case I wouldn't see it again. I closed the door and walked down the stairs. I felt bad considering I was dating Harry but sleeping in my ex fiancée and my room, but Harry understood that it would take time. He also understood that I like to be there, just so I was reminded it was all real. I smiled at Harry who grinned back, “Your look great” he smiled and kissed my cheek, “Don't wait up for us guys” Harry spoke reaching for his car keys, “Have fun” I heard a voice call to us.

 

We step outside into Harry's car. “You've been awfully quiet since we got back here” he told me, and I look at him in the setting sunlight, and offer him a warm smile. “I have?” I asked him, and he hummed a yes, “Are you sure your okay?” he asked me, and I nodded smiling lightly. “It's just weird being back” I told him, “But you seem happy to be back” I add on. It was true, Harry hadn't smiled this much in a long time, he woke up early laughing with the boys, and stayed out late coming home to me, and he just seemed so carefree, and my the happy I saw him, the more and more I wanted to give myself to him. He could even have the lost parts if he could find them. “I am, I like being with you and the boys” he smiled at me, and revved the engine.

 

“Where are we going anyway?” I asked him, “I am taking you to dinner, and then I have a surprise” he told me, and I laughed softly. “You don't have to keep surprising me, I have had enough of those” I smirked to him. In the past five months Harry had given me so many things, material and not, he didn't understand that all I needed was him. I think part of him was trying to make up for everything that happened with Zayn, and it was sweet, but he didn't need to. “I like surprising you, you haven't had enough of the good kind” he smiled at me, “You mean surprises can be good too?” I smirked over at me, and laughed softly. “My family are coming down next week to visit” Harry brought up, “Oh” I sighed.

 

Now Harry's family. It's not that they weren't lovely people, I just... Well they weren't my kind of people. “I know you don't like them” he smirked over, “No, it's not that...” I trailed off. His mother was wonderful, often she had asked me to stay a few more days when we visited them on the road trip, her husband was a little on the quiet side and not making much conversation. Gemma really didn't like me, and I wasn't to big a fan of her, her daughter was lovely though. “I don't hate them” I said, “I just... I don't particularly get on with your sister” I told him, and he nodded, “I remember” he told me, and I laughed lightly. “I won't make you stay for long, just say hello, a cup of coffee, and then we can leave” he told me, and I nod.

 

We pulled up out side a small French restaurant. “What do you know about French food?” I chuckled, “Nothing, I thought we could just try anything” he laughed at me, and came beside me grasping my hand. We walked inside, and a waitress showed us to our table. “This is too fancy” I smirked picking up the menu that the waitress handed us. The girl was pretty about five foot three, and shocking blue eyes, dark brown hair. “Call me... when your ready to order of course” she smirked to Harry, not looking at me, she tip toed away. “I better be careful” I smirked peering up at Harry through my eye lashes. “What?” Harry asked me, “She was hitting on you” I tell him, “No she wasn't... and even if she was, there is only one girl in this room I see, and see is sat right in front of me” he smirked and picked up my hand placing a delicate kiss on to it, leaving his lips lingering for a moment.

 

So the night progressed, and we order food. I am not sure what it was we ate, but it was nice. We talked about meaningless nonsense, and I watched the waitress make eyes at Harry all night. “Seriously, I think I should be worried” I smirked nodding towards her, and Harry turned laughing lightly. I wonder if she had a young heart, she certainly had the smile of a person with a young heart. “She has really been staring?” he asked me, and I hummed a yes sipping the glass of white wine in front of me, “Your joking, right?” he asked, and I shook my head. “I wouldn't lie” I told him, and he laughed again. “Well, she's of no interest to me” he told me, and I blushed lightly as he winked at me. “Should we get going?” he suggested, and I smiled softly, and nod.

 

We pay and leave, leaving behind Harry's admirer. “You sure broke her heart” I smirked at him. He opened the car door for me to get in and I smiled tenderly at him, “I hope your ready for what I have planned” he told me, “I am” I tell him. “Good” he smirked, and then went to get into his side of the car. We began to drive, and I smiled looking softly at him. As we drove through the now dark sky. “You better not have paid extensive amounts of money on me” I warn him, “Would you shut up, and just pretend like your having the night of your life” he smiled at me, and I smirk at him. “Your too good for me Harry” I tell him, and he reached over squeezing my leg slightly. “I am no where near good enough” he sighed, but held onto a smile.

 

We arrive at Trafalgar square, and I smirk at Harry. “I remember you saying this was your favourite place” he grinned at me, and I cover my mouth a little choked up by the memory. “You didn't have to do this” I told him, “I know, I wanted to” he smiled at me. I reach over the controls in the middle, and hug Harry tightly. “Come on” he told me. I smiled as we got out of the car, and walked down hand in hand, through the square. We walked through the maze that lay in the square, and got separated, and I laughed as I shouted for him. “Brook” I heard, behind me and I turn with a grin, “You found me” I smirked and rested my arms around his neck, “I'm always going to find you” he whispered against my lips. We walked over to a shop not far down the road, once we got out of the maze and got two drinks of tea, and then went to sit down back in the square. The stars would soon sparkle in the cold may sky.

 

We sat near the lions around the large statue in the middle. Harry was watching my face, and I turned to him. “What?” I smirk, “Your smiling” he told me, and I nod, “I like it” he finished. We stood and walked around the two large fountains. “What would happen if we went in the fountains” he asked me, “I am not sure” I smirked at him, and he grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers. “Brook?” Harry asked me, “Yeah?” I turned to face him. Face to face with Harry under the soft light, in Trafalgar square, should be any girls dream. I smirked at his face that was practically glowing. I looked around a few people lined around the square this late, some couples, some sight seers, and a group of rowdy teens, soon joined by a large group of older boys. That looked in out direction, and I loose eye contact right away, looking back to Harry.

 

“I don't know how to say this” he chuckled nervously, and he looked around at the people then back at me. “Just say it” I try and reassure him. “Okay” he smiled lightly. “I have been thinking about this for a while now, and we spent a lot of time together over the past few months, and I just... I don't know, I feel like this was kind of meant to happen don't you?” he asked me, “Sure” I say slightly unconvinced. “I know that I sound like a pathetic boy who can't live with out a women, but I have learnt.. I can't live with out you” he told me, and the corners of my lips turn up. “I guess that all this time, things have gotten in the way, whether it be people, or places, but nothing is in the way anymore” he rambled on making me smile even more, and chuckling at his own nerves.

 

“So I don't really know what is stopping us” he smiled, and I cocked my head to the side, “Stopping us?” I asked confused, and he smiled at me tenderly. Taking a small box from his pocket, and my heart began to race a little. “What are you...” I stopped, “Fuck it” he whispered, and got down on one knee. People around notices, this and rush over to hear what was being said a series of, “He's proposing!” and “How romantic” was heard by several females. From the distance you could still here the boys from that group laughing. “Brook Green. I have waited to do this for a long time, and that deal we made, well I don't want it anymore... because right now you can choose, and before you say anything you just need to know, that the more I look at you, the more reasons I think of for you to say yes” he smirked at me.

 

“The top three reasons” he began, and I chuckle at him, and wipe a happy tear from my cheek. “Number One, I want to see you grow old with me and we sit the front porch watching our grandchildren play” he smiled, “Number two, we are so messed up, no one else could fix us” he told me, and I laughed at the trueness of it, “And finally... I know love is like war, its just going to hurt someone, but there isn't really a winner or a looser... and its like war because it was easy to start, but Brook, its so difficult to stop loving you... so I don't think I am ever going to stop” he smirked up at me, and I looked up blinking tears, and a series of girls calls were heard. “So, Please, Brook, Will you just Marry me?” he asked, and opened up the box to reveal a ring.

 

Zayn's Pov

 

I saw what they were all looking at. I chose the wrong night. “That's her” Riley muttered, looking towards the girl with now short hair, and heavier make up. I did this. We moved closer, hearing the three reasons she should Marry him. All of them were good reasons. I watched with my black coat flicked up at collars, and my head hung low, in-between my lips, was a cigarette. “So, Please, Brook, Will you just Marry me?” he asked her, and she smiled at him tenderly, and shook. She didn't want to say yes. “Yes” she uttered, and he stood up, and put the ring on her finger, and pulled her closer. She held his face in her tiny hands, and kissed his lips gently, I looked away. “If I hadn't lost her before, I have now” I uttered to Riley, stomping on the cigarette and turning away. There was never a line that was a line, and she must not of figure it out by now. Or she wouldn't be soon wearing white.  

 

~*~

Zayn. Man. The letter. Was it all a lie or all true. I just can't cope. Nine chapters left, get ready for chapter 70 that is the new big one to look forward too! 

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