Dark ll || Z.M

'I am not going to loose you again Brook!' he yelled at me, his eyes fully on anger. 'Zayn I can do what I want to do!' I shouted back, finding my voice. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, 'In those three months you seem to of forgotten your mine' he whispered harshly, 'you seem to of forgotten, you do as your told' he snapped.

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49. Not Now. Not Yet.

Brook's Pov

It was late now, and I heard heavy footsteps thud up the stairs as I lay down on our bed, I knew it would be Zayn. Him opening the door and coming in like a bull in a china shop proved that. “What the fuck do you think your doing?” he yelled, “Zayn calm down, what's wrong?” I jumped from the bed, rushing to his side. “Your what's fucking wrong!” he yelled pushing me away from him. I stopped momentarily to gather my thoughts. “Zayn!” I exclaimed, wondering what had changed in a matter of an few hours, what had changed?

 

“Liam told me” he snapped, “He told me about you making a deal with Steve?” he frowned, I sighed, “I knew he would” I told him. “When did you even make it?” he paced the floor, “The day you sent me fore my 24 hours of madness” I spoke, “When I said go bad I didn't mean go making deals with the devil” he spoke, I sighed and rolled my eyes. “You said you didn't wanted to know” I defend myself, “You should have had the sense tell me this... this is mad, your going to get yourself killed” he yelled at me.

 

“I know what I am doing, that not that same girl you once knew” I spoke, “I know that... you have been reminding me of that for far to often” he snapped, I sighed. “I told you to trust me” I told him, “And I told you not to do anything stupid” he spoke. I sighed, “What was the deal?” he spoke lowly. “I just agreed to help him with the problem... he needed my help” I spoke, “What about what I need?” he shouted, “What do you need?” I whispered, “I need you” he whispered, I reach for him, “You've already got me” I spoke.

 

“What did you agree to help him with?” he asked me, “He had a life, before all this, he had a life which was everything he wanted.... and then he had that taken away from him, and he just wanted help Zayn... and I couldn't help us when we lost Charley, but I can now... I can help him get his daughter back” I whispered, “He has a daughter?” he whispered, “Yeah” I spoke, “She's been taken, and I could help her... I couldn't save our little girl but I can save his” I whispered, he walked over to me and put his hands either side of my face, “I know you think that this is the right thing to do... I know you think that you can save her, but I can't loose you... what if next time I can't save you?” he whispered, and looked so fragile.

 

“You will always save me” I told him, and took his hand. “I love you so much, and I just want you too know that” I told him, “I do know that” he spoke. “I just... what if he turns on to you” he spoke to me, I smiled lightly. “Then I will get you to save me” I spoke to him, and pressed my lips against his and he kissed me back. “I love you” he told me, and I smiled. These fragile moments were the ones that I was treasuring, because like the stars I saw in his eyes the moment the sun came up I knew they would be gone.

 

“Please, I am trusting you here” he told me and ran his hands softly down my hips, “I know, and I know probably don't deserve that trust but... I want to earn it again” I told him. Zayn pulled me down onto the bed, and I lay down there with him, hearing his steady breathing. “I want to talk to you about something” he spoke lowly, and it was never good when Zayn wanted to talk. “What?” I asked him, sitting up looking at him softly, and he sat up to touching my thigh running his hand softly in the same repeated position.

 

“We never really... had a chance to talk about the bet” he told me, and then I felt a bitter-sweetness hit me. I didn't know if that made us stronger or weaker, I don't know if I could ever forgive him for it, but I didn't know if I could ever live with out him. “Why do we need to talk about it?” I whispered looking down, and he touched my chin and made me looked at him. “You need to know the whole story” he spoke to me, I nodded knowing parts of this were going to break heart somehow seemed to make me feel a bit stronger.

 

“I never intended on falling in love with you, but I did... and its was so different for me, because giving my heart to someone was never going to be easy, but I am so glad I gave it to you” Zayn spoke, “I gave you my heart too” I whispered, he smiled and traced circles on my hand with his fingertips. “I didn't want the money when it came down to it... I didn't care anymore, because I opened myself to you and I couldn't … I couldn't ever get use to the idea of you being in someone else's arms... but I still took the money” he spoke looking down ashamed of himself.

 

“You don't have to carry on” I spoke, he shook his head “I do” he whispered. “I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want you to know … because all of these horrible things we had done to each other, I knew that this would make you leave, and I didn't want you too.. I lost you once you once and I wasn't going to again.. I couldn't... Loosing you was like drowning, everything was moving around me and I was just watching, struggling to breath with out you there” he whispered, I smiled t him, I loved to see Zayn this vulnerable, it was a side he only showed me and that was special.

 

“Anything you want to know about it?” he asked me, “Why didn't you just tell me” I spoke, “Would you off wanted me too?” he asked, “Yes... I wanted to know that boy that I was falling in love with actually fell in love with me” I spoke sadly, “You know I fell in love with you” he spoke, “It would of made me feel terrible, but leaving it as long as you did...” I shook my head, “I know, I messed up and don't mean to drag up the past but I just don't want to loose you, and have you think I didn't ever love” I spoke, “ If I hadn't of agreed in the first place, to the fucking bet then we wouldn't be here” he spoke.

 

I looked around thought about it, he was right. I couldn't help but think though, we wouldn't be this broken if we wouldn't have met. “What are you thinking?” he asked me, I shook my head “Nothing” I lied. “I just though you needed to know the reasons behind it” he spoke, I nodded at him. “Is there anything you want to know?” I asked him, he nodded slowly and cautiously. “I want to know about Harry” he spoke, I think my heart stopped beating for a moment, “I thought we were forgetting all of that?” I asked him, he nodded “We are... I just need to know why you like him so much” he spoke.

 

“It's complicated” I spoke, he smiled “When isn't it?” he smirked, I laughed lightly. “I just... I like the stability with him... I like that he knows what he is going to do the next day” I explained, “I understand that but why do you like him as a person, I mean whenever we had shit you would go running to him” he spoke, I nodded. “He was just... well... he could make me smile and if you were feeling as bad as I was... then you needed to smile” I told him, and guilt washed over him, “I am sorry, it should have been me making you smile” he touched my hand.

 

“You had enough to deal with, and I understand that it was hard for you too” I sighed, he smiled lightly. “Look at us, talking and shit” he smiled, I laughed lightly at him, “I like it better this way” I smiled at him, he laughed lightly. “Why do you want him to give you away?” he asked me, “Because...” I spoke taking in a breath, “If he gives me away, then he is letting me go and he is giving me to you... we are all letting go” I spoke, he smiled lightly “You know... I like the sound of that” he smirked.

 

I laughed lightly, and I leant forward. Zayn kissed me pushing me back slightly. “I want as long as I can get” he spoke, and whispered I love you against my lips. “I would wait for you no matter what... because honestly there is or never will be someone else” he spoke, I smiled lightly at him. “I am so glad we took the chance” I laughed softly and kissed him, he smirked against my lips, then Zayn pulling back, and he supported him self up on one hand, and the other brushed hair behind my ear, as his body hovered over mine.“I can not promise you that we are going to be together forever... but as long as we are trying, I am staying” he told me, the words this time meant something.

It was like he was slowly stitching those words into my soul, I though as he stuck the needle in it hurt, the end result was beautiful, not only were his words etched inside me forever, his body was against mine and for the first time in a long time I saw past the darkness in eyes, I saw light. Zayn's eyes were the kind of eyes that came around once in a lifetime, and I knew I then looking at him every choice we had ever made we made it to protect the other person from the person we were, and now we weren't two different people, we were one, and that's how it would be staying for the rest of my days, because I was never going to stop trying.

 

Zayn's hand wandered up my shirt, and his touch was something I had been missing, though his lips were a friendly reminder, it was his hands I craved. “Zayn” I mumbled against his lips, his warm a hand ran up my side, and I arched my back so he could un-clip my bra, and with one hand he swiftly did. Zayn took his own shirt off, and I took mine of taking off my already un-clipped bra, I smile lightly at the toned boy front of me, who never failed to make me feel beautiful, the look in his eyes was all the confirmation that was needed for me to reach for his belt buckle.

 

Harry's Pov

 

I took a shaky breath pulling up outside my new house. I didn't like distance at the best of times. I knew something like this would eventually happen. I knew I would leave again, and we would all go are separate ways, and I suppose I knew that Zayn would always win Brook. I just hoped maybe things would play in my favour, but she's happy... and so am I. When I left I had told my self I was over Brook, but seeing her at the airport with her tired weary eyes, made me fall ten times over.

 

I am mad at myself though, and I should be mad at her. I hate myself, instead of hating her. I convinced myself I was over it, and I know that it was all pretend now. I knew when I looked at her and she caught my gaze, I pretended that I was looking. I pretended not to smile when she entered a room with eyes that could light up the sky, and if the sky was ever in need of an angle it would have been her. When ever she would kiss Zayn, or she wouldn't see me in a room, I pretended to be strong. Most of all I pretend I am not hurt when she breaks my heart time and time again, I tell her that its okay, but its not. I am tired of pretending I won't miss her, because I am going to. I am going to miss her.

 

I turned out liking her a lot more than I originally planned. I walked down into the small hotel that I was staying at, and checked in finding my room. I would go to my new home in a few days, it was still being renovated. A light knock came at the door, "Hello?" I asked opening the door, "House keeping" she smiled. The girl was pretty, and her name tag read "Abby". I smiled, she was short, with dark blonde hair that reached her shoulders, and she curled it. Her lips were thin, and she had dark brown eyes, "Come on in Abby" I smirk at her lightly, I needed to take my mind of Brook, and if Abby was the first choice, then that's what I would do.

 

Zayn's Pov

 

I lay there with Brook in my arms, she was wrapped up in the sheets, her soft blonde hair caressing her. I saw her there sleeping and my heart swelled, I wasn't ever going to loose this girl lay in front of me. I wasn't ever going to open up like that again, I wanted to leave everything that we had spoken about in the past, I wanted to leave the things that had happened behind us. I loved this girl and she knew it, I knew we had both made mistakes but the feeling of drowning around her was all too real, far to real.

 

I heard a lightly know on the door, “It's open” I spoke, and Liam opened the door walking in. He saw Brook asleep and he smiled lightly at her, looking. I knew he didn't want to tell me in the first place. I smiled lightly at him, “We are okay” I whispered to him, looking down at Brook. “Your going to let her go to Steve?” he asked me, I nodded unsure. “I will be with all the time, she won't ever be on her own around him” I reassured him, “I want you to promise me something Zayn” Liam spoke, I nodded slowly, looking up at him. “I want you to promise me you won't break her again, you don't let her get hurt, emotionally or physically” he spoke, “I promise” I told him. I knew he cared about her, and I no longer felt jealous about that, because she promised me she loved me, and that was now enough.

 

Though, I still hate the idea of anyone else making her happy, because that is my job. Only my job. “I am going to get going” Liam told me, “Wait until she wakes up, leave tomorrow, come on... we can hang out?” I suggest, he smiled lightly at me. “We aren't going to be like dudes in the movies are we, when they have an emotional talk are we?” Liam smirked, as I pulled on some clothes. “No... But I do want to say thank you” I spoke, looking back at Brook. “For keeping her safe when I couldn't” I told him, “I would do it again” Liam smiled at me. I went to close the door and looked back at Brook once smiling lightly.

 

We got to the bottom of stairs and went to the kitchen, pulling out two beers from the fridge. I smiled and sat down outside on the patio with Liam, and the rain bounced of the roof, but sitting there with him was fine. “I know we have had some rough times mate, but it worked out okay did it?” I asked him, he nodded “Yeah... Yeah it did” he smiled lightly clinking beer bottles with me, I laughed lightly, “We are doing that movie thing aren't we?” he asked me, I nodded laughing sipping my beer.

 

“So where are you going to be going?” I asked him, “I have a few jobs to do, and then I am just going to go around and about for a while” he spoke, I nodded. “What kind of jobs?” I asked him, turning to look at him. “Look... Zayn, you are starting a new life with Brook... you don't need any more shit” he smirked lightly, I knew he was hiding something bigger though. “Liam... just tell me, you know I won't overreact” I spoke, he smirked “You'd be surprised” he laughed.

 

“You've not even left yet and your in trouble” I laughed lightly, he smirked. “Not quiet” he spoke, “Old trouble?” I asked him, he nodded slowly. “I am going to try the taking the drugs across” I spoke, I frowned at him. “Your fucking mad, mate you can't do that on your own, and if you get caught doing it... you'll go to jail” I spoke, he nodded. “I don't care... knowing Brook is safe from it, and you and her get your happy ever after or shit is enough to make me want to do it” he spoke. “Look Liam I appreciate the gesture, but honestly you don't have to do that” I told him.

 

“You know I am going to, so stop” he told me, I took a breath and ran my fingers through my messy black hair. “Liam... I never realised how much you cared” I spoke, he looked over at me. “I always cared Zayn... It's only fair to care, you've done a lot for me and I think its about time I return your favour” he smiled lightly, I patted him on the back. “You know, even thought you have kissed my girlfriend, and tried it on with her many a time, I do appreciate that you care about her a lot too, she wouldn't be alive it weren't for you, and by saving her … you kind of saved everyone” I told him.

 

“Its okay, really” he told me, “You will tell me when you do it?... When its done?” I asked him, he nodded. “Yeah, and I expect and a invite to the wedding” he spoke smirking at me, I nodded laughing. “I never thought I would ever live to see the day Zayn Malik tied the knot” he spoke, I smiled at him, “I never thought it would happen either, but she is the one I guess” I shrugged, and he laughed loudly, “And they say romance is dead” he chuckled, “What?” I asked him, “I guess... wow I am looking forward to your vows” he smiled.

 

“Liam... will you be the best man?” I stutter out with out thinking, he looked up at me with a smile “I couldn't of think anything I would like more” he spoke, I laughed lightly. “That man it means a lot” I told him, I heard footsteps then coming from the kitchen. “Zayn?” I heard, “Out here doll” I called, and Brook came out wearing one of my t-shirts that is something I had missed the sight off. “I wish you wouldn't of ran off” she smiled and came out side and hugged me lightly. “Liam...” she spoke, and smiled. “Meet my best man” I whispered too her, “Really?” she beamed, and jumped at Liam hugging him, I laughed.

 

My phone went of then, and I didn't understand how my mood could change so fast. I tucked away the phone. No. Not now. Not yet. Not today

 

...

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