Dark ll || Z.M

'I am not going to loose you again Brook!' he yelled at me, his eyes fully on anger. 'Zayn I can do what I want to do!' I shouted back, finding my voice. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, 'In those three months you seem to of forgotten your mine' he whispered harshly, 'you seem to of forgotten, you do as your told' he snapped.

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54. Feelings.

Brook's Pov

 

I picked up a few more things for the wedding. After talking to Harry I felt a bit down, but Zayn was taking Luke back to his mum's house, and I was getting the finishing bits for the wedding. I couldn't stop thinking about Harry. I know its so wrong, but I feel so guilty for choosing Zayn. I know Zayn love's me and I know I am always going to love him, I just needed know what was stopping me from fulling giving every single aching part of me to Zayn. I had a feeling Harry was the reason.

 

I walked down the street that was getting colder and colder as the hours went by. I went around the corner and it had started to snow. The snow fell lightly onto the ground, and it stuck. I text Zayn telling him I was picking dinner up for us. I hadn't told Zayn that I had spoken to Harry, it would only cause an argument. And really... there was nothing to tell. I keep telling myself that. But I have replayed the conversation over time and time again in my head, he misses me. I miss him. That is all there is too it, friends can miss each other too.

 

So deep in thought, I don't see where I am going and knock into someone. “I am so sorry” I spoke and bent down to pick a few items that fell out of my bag. “These for the groom?” I heard, I smirked lightly. It wasn't. The voice had a soft tone, with a a hint of sarcasm in it. In his hand he held a black lace bra and matching lace panties. I look up and in the blue-green eyes of his, I fall into his arms. “Louis” I sighed into him, smiling as I do so.

 

“You might want these back” he smirked and lets me go, holding my bra in one hand. I smirk and tuck it deep into the bags. “What are you doing here?” I smiled at him, “I am keeping low key, but they are calling Mia's death an accident” he told me, “How is it an accident?” I asked him, “I don't know, but it puts me in the all clear” he shrugged, “It's been three months, and not even a phone call” I over exaggerates, and he laughs at me. “I missed you” he told me, and I smiled “I missed you too” I told him.

 

“So where's my invite to the wedding of the century?” he asked me, I smirked “I never said you were invited, did I?” I tease, and for a moment every thought I have of Harry and Zayn has gone. I am stood with Louis and we are laughing, though Zayn makes me smile and makes me feel Happy. Louis's personality and his presence makes you happy when you don't even know your sad. “I am going to either come with an invite or gate crash” he told me, and I smiled lightly up at him, “You can come, I don't need any stress” I told him.

 

“So how have things been with you and Zayn?” he asked me, I nod and smile. Every thought came back. “They are good, he has a son” I told him, “What?” he asked me, “Yeah, he got a girl pregnant before he met me and now he has a son” I smiled lightly, “Are you okay with that?” he asked furrowing his eyebrows, and I nod quickly assuring him and myself, that I don't mind. “Luke it lovely, he's so much like Zayn already” I explained, and he nodded “Your such a good person, not many people would accept that” he told me, and I nodded lightly.

 

“You spoken to any of the guys?” I asked him, “I went to see Niall earlier actually, and then Liam hasn't long finished his drug bust thing, so I gave him time to sort himself out” he told me, and I rolled my eyes. “I still can't believe he did that” I sighed, “He got a free holiday out of it, besides he needed a change of scenery” he told me, “I don't care, he almost got sent to prison because of me” I spoke, “It was nothing to do with you, it was his dad” he told me, “What?” I asked him, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, the way he did when he was thinking or nervous. He was both.

 

“You know Liam doesn't have the best relationship with his parents... right?” he asked me, and I nodded slowly. “He told me it was because of his girlfriend, or something?” I asked, he shook his head, “It's not that at all” he told me, “What do you mean, he lied?” I asked him, Louis nodded. I should of known really that he was lying. That it wouldn't be just over a girlfriend, and that he wouldn't just fall out with them for nothing. I knew there was something more when I heard Liam mumble, “This doesn't change what you did” when I found out about the bet, When his dad gave him a wad of cash. He still took it.

 

“I will tell you exactly what he told me” Louis spoke, and I nod. He begins.

 

Flashback – Liam's Pov.

 

I walked home from being out with Danielle. I got home and I did what I normally did. I went up stairs, showered, and got some food. Today was different though, mum was working late so it was just me and dad. I walked into his study to see if he was in there. Instead I saw him and my aunty Sarah kissing, he had her pushed up against the desk in there. His hands wandered up her skirt that was far too short, her long brown hair was ripped from her bun, and he ran his fingers through it.

 

Then Sarah caught my eyes, and she pushed my dad away. “I was going to ask if you want to watch the game... but your clearly preoccupied” I snarl, and my dad buttoned up the top of his shirt. “Liam...” he began, “You cheating on mum with her!” I shouted, “It's not like that!” he defended, “Tell me what it is fucking like then?” I yell at him, “I should go” Sarah stood up, “I will call you” she spoke quietly, “I will see you Liam” she offered a light smile.

 

I paced the floor, “How long?” I asked him, “Liam you need to know-..” I cut him off, “I said how long?” I asked him, “A few months” he told me. I shook my head, and tried to control my breathing. “You know I love you and your mother” he told me, “Oh yeah, you've made that really clear” I snap at him. “Don't tell your mum” he begged me, “Fuck off... I am not keeping your dirty little secret” I seethed at him, “Liam, please” I begged him.

 

“Mum's depressed dad! Your shagging her sister!” I shouted, “Your meant to look after her, not look at her sister” I snap at him, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah well you know what your not entitled to your opinion on this anyway!” he shouted back at me, “I think I fucking am!” I shouted, “Your my dad! Your sleeping with my aunty, but your still with mum! Don't you fucking string her along anymore that what you already have” I told him.

 

“You need to know something” he spoke, “If this is any stupid fucking excuse” I tell him, “Your adopted” he shouted. Then silence filled the air, “Well that's a low fucking blow” I mumbled, trying to tell myself this wasn't true. “I'm sorry Liam, it is... I wanted to tell you, your mother didn't... she wanted you to think she was your real mum, we'd been trying for a baby for so long, and we couldn't have one, that's why she got depressed and so fucking uptight, so we adopted you... your real parents couldn't afford to keep you, that's why we have given you everything we possibly can, because they couldn't” he told me.

 

I sat down on the green chair in the dull room. I let my eyes fall to the floor, “You've been lying to me” I whispered, “Liam, I'm sorry” he told me, and reached for me. But I stood up, and in almost perfect slow motion I punched him in the face, and he fell backwards and hit the floor. “Sorry? You don't know the meaning of that fucking word, so don't throw it around!” I shouted at him, he wiped his lip, dripping with blood and struggled up.

 

“We still love you” he told me, “You don't know what that means either, I mean for fuck sake! You have a woman that loves you so much, and she would do anything for you but your fucking her sister! That isn't love” I seethe at him. “I am going to leave, I don't want anything from you... your nothing to me” I spoke, and stormed out of the room. I walked into my bed room and pulled out a bag, and for the first time in forever. I cried. I had no strength to hold myself together. My real parent's might not of given me money, but they could of loved me more than the two of these ever could.

 

End of Flashback.

 

Brook's Pov

 

“Oh my god” I spoke, and Louis nodded sadly. “I-... Poor Liam” I spoke. “To this day his mum still doesn't know he knows, and he was right to leave... they didn't treat like a son, more like a prize, he wasn't first, he was second” he told me, “Why didn't he tell me?” I asked him, “He told me when he was drunk, and then begged me not to tell anyone the next day” Louis explained. “His wasn't sorry, but he tries to give him money still... just to keep him quiet” he told me, “That's sick” I sighed sadly. I am not perfect, I make mistakes, and I hurt the people I love. But when I say sorry at least I mean it.

 

“This turned morbid” he smirked, and I smiled lightly. We try and lighten the mood by sharing other stories. “Where have you been anyway?” I asked him, “Around, no where for more than one night” he told me, and I nodded. “Where are you staying now?” he asked me, “I don't know, I might ask Niall if I could stay there” he told me, “Don't be stupid! You can stay with me and Zayn” I smile, “I am not third wheeling” he told me, I look up at him with begging eyes. “Fine” he laughed.

 

We being to walk back, after picking up some food. I smiled lightly as we reached the front door, I heard giggles coming from the living room. I walked in placing my keys down, “Zayn?” I asked him, “Yeah?” he asked, “I am home” I smiled, and he looked up with Luke in his arms. “Wasn't he meant to be at home tonight?” I asked him, “Becca asked if I could have him one more night” he smiled at me, and went to kiss me, I kissed him lightly.

 

“Well speaking of guests, I have brought one” I smile, and pull Zayn into the hall and he sees Louis. His expression his unreadable, I don't know where to look. Louis, Zayn or Luke. “Louis?” Zayn asked confused, “I bumped into Brook, she said I could come and stay the night” he explained, “That's okay isn't it?” I smiled, and took Luke from Zayn's arms, “Er.. Yeah, sure” he tried to smile, I took Luke and put him in his high chair.

 

I plated the food up, and the two boys came into the kitchen. “Hey little guy” Louis walked over to Luke, and smiled at him. Luke wasn't good around strangers, but Louis he seemed to love. He smiled at him, “You going to say hello?” I asked Luke and he just gave another grin, not talking. “Ah I see a man of few words, Brook was right... just like your dad” Louis smiled, I think Zayn rolled his eyes.

 

We ate the food and Louis went to take a shower. Zayn had just put Luke to bed, and I sat in mine and Zayn's room. “You okay?” I asked as Zayn walked in sighing, “Why did you bring him here?” he asked me, “Excuse me?” I try and laugh lightly, “Louis, don't bring that passed into our lives, not again” he told me, “I am not, Louis isn't part of the past, he's now... He is our friend” I told him, “Well I would rather him not be around Luke, he's a murderer encase you forget” he snapped, I frowned, “Don't even go there” I frowned. “Brook I don't want him around my son” he spoke, “I don't care, Luke is safe here... Louis wouldn't hurt him” I told him, “Didn't you think that when he tried to kill you?” he snapped at me, I rolled my eyes and stood up from the bed, and walked to the door.

 

 

 

“Don't” he told me, and I dropped my hand from the door handle. “Zayn, your being ridiculous” I spoke. “You can't just let people stay and not talk to me first” he snapped, “Well your son is staying tonight, and you didn't ask me” I raised my eye brows. He smirked and shook his head, “That's what this is about isn't it” he asked me, “What are you talking about?” I asked him, “Luke, your not okay with it” he frowned. “Okay I did not say that” he spoke, “Well you didn't deny it either” he told me, and I rolled my eyes.

 

“Look no girl is going to be thrilled when her fiancée tells her that he had a baby with another woman, yeah I wish you would have had your first baby with me, but you didn't... and I don't mind because your little boy is beautiful... we just... lately we aren't ever alone together, its always me, you and Luke, or me, you and the wedding.... I miss you” I told him, and he gave me a small smile and walked over to me, and he placed his lips softly against mine. The warm tender feeling that only he could give me returned.

 

“I am sorry, I just want to be a better dad than what mine turned out to be” he told me, “I get it, I love having him here, but just push me out, okay?” I asked him, and he nodded lightly holding me in his arms again. “Well, Luke is in bed...” he began in a low voice, and he moved around me, so my back was to his chest and then he kissed my neck lightly, “Louis will be in that shower for an awful long time” he whispered in a hushed voice, and I felt goosebumps.

 

“Zayn, we can't” I smirk and let his lips led me over to the bed. “Fuck... I think we can” he spoke, and he pressed his hips against mine and lay me down. I smirk up at him, “Don't do that” he told me, “What?” I asked him, “That look... your beautiful” he told me, and then came down to my ear, “And you know you it drives me fucking wild” he smirked, and kissed my neck. “Does it, still?” I asked breathlessly. “It always will” he told me, and he pressed his lips against mine. I forget everything, and everyone.

 

Flash Forward. - Zayn's Pov.

 

I am doing this. I write these words on the page and each and everyone tears another part of me out, and I know each and every aching word on this fucking paper will break her heart one thousand times more than anything else I have ever done before. More than the fucking bet did. Maybe even more than loosing our baby did. Because this was it, this was what was going to save her in the end. The pen I hold in my hand is shaky, and I swear at myself to make it fucking stop. I press hard into the page, crinkling the paper. The words I write are all true, barring one sentence. I didn't know how to do this, but I knew she'd thank me one day. Maybe when she got her happily ever after with someone else. Someone good. Someone like him. Someone who wasn't anything like me.

 

End of Flash Forward.

 

Harry's Pov

 

I hold the phone in my hand, If I call her now. If I begged her not to marry him I wonder if she would listen? Moving on would be easy, but it's what I leave behind that makes it so difficult to leave it all. I have so many feelings. But words aren't good enough to describe them. They aren't enough to describe her. So I keep going over the same old words, I miss you, I love you, and I need you. I am scared that if I keep repeating them and repeating them, that they will loose their meaning, and then I will have nothing to say at all. I guess I am just tired of having feelings.

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