Dark ll || Z.M

'I am not going to loose you again Brook!' he yelled at me, his eyes fully on anger. 'Zayn I can do what I want to do!' I shouted back, finding my voice. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, 'In those three months you seem to of forgotten your mine' he whispered harshly, 'you seem to of forgotten, you do as your told' he snapped.

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71. Everything Ends.

Brook's Pov

 

Riding on the back of Zayn's motorbike, not being able to speak to him over the loud roaring wind, had given me a lot of time to think. I mean what happened next? Did I run away with Zayn and get a happily ever after. Would he tell me where he was the passed six months? Would he tell me if I was right about which line was the lie? I didn't know where Zayn was driving us too. I didn't really mind, I wanted to get away from my own reality, and take a peak into his. We were driving down a dirt road, no traffic, just me and Zayn. I didn't know where it lead to. Though it seemed so familiar at this point. I saw a large house, with broken down walls outside, and half dead flowers at the foot of it all. Zayn stop the engine of the bike, and put it into park.

 

I stepped of, taking of the helmet. “Why are we here?” I asked him, remembering the house from the pictures. The house me and Zayn should have been living in for four months, the house that was meant to be out future, but was now a big part of our passed. “I live here, I know I said I would sell it but, I just couldn't, it seemed to wrong” Zayn spoke. I walked into the house with Zayn. The smell of his aftershave filled my nostrils, and I smiled a little. Kicking my shoes off at the door, but standing there in the wide open space, not sure where to move too. “You can come further in you know?” he asked me raising an eyebrow. I dropped my back to the floor where my shoes were, and I walked forward, following him into the kitchen. “You want a drink?” he asked me, and I nodded lightly, standing in the doorway. It amazed me how he could act so normal after everything that had happened, how he could just move on and forget it.

 

Zayn stirred two cups of coffee and then handed one to me, walking away and into the living room. The house was just like in the pictures, though in the pictures everything was normal, and it held so much for me and Zayn. Well now, I couldn't see any future in this house. Not with the way things are. I walked in, and Zayn smiled up at me with his dark brown eyes, and moved over so I could sit next to him. Instead I opted for the chair which wasn't to far from him. He looked hurt by the action, but I wasn't going to just pretend nothing ever happened. He could, but I refused too. “You can take a shower if you want to” he offered me, “I will later” I barely croak. “I kind of just think we should talk now” I whispered, looking up at him, running my index finger around the rim of my coffee cup.”What do you want to talk about?” he asked me, “I don't know where to start” I say softly, I wasn't mad at him. Yet.

 

“What happened, Brook?” Zayn asked softly, and I don't know why those words felt so direct. Why I felt like he was blaming both of us for what happened, like we had equal amounts of blame here. “What happened?” he repeated softly, “What happened?” I almost yelled, “Let me refresh your memory. I was the one who took you bullshit, I was the only person who actually gave a shit about you. I was the one who stuck by you when everyone else told me to leave. I stood up for you. I was the one who still loves you now, when you give me every reason not to. I was the only person who was there for you when no one else was... so. You tell me... What happened?” I seethed the last part, he looked to me and then looked away like he knew then he was the guilty party in all of this, I was only guilty when it came to hurting Harry, and that was something I wasn't proud to take responsibility off, but I had to.

 

After a moment of silence, I spoke. “How about you tell me where you have been for the past six months” I tell him, realising he wasn't going to speak first. “Here” he spoke, looking around the room. “I meant what you have been doing, the reason you left me” I sit up straight in the chair. “It's complicated” he stood up, going to leave the room. “Don't walk away from me, not this time, you need to explain what happened” I tell him, standing up myself. “I had to keep you safe” he told me, taking a step forward, and I took one back looking to the floor. “That isn't good enough, who did you need to keep me safe from!” I shouted back at him, “Brook, it is still better if you don't know, I have lost you too many times, I can't do it again” he told me, “It's your fault, you lost me” I told him, “I know, and I am not going to make that mistake again” he told me, “Zayn, enough” I told him, and gave up sitting on the couch.

 

He sat down beside me. I was no closer to finding out what had happened, then I was ten minutes ago. “This isn't going to work, unless you are just honest” I told him quietly, not looking at him. “I can't tell you” he whispered, “Was there another girl?” I asked him looking up, “Did you get back with Perrie?” I asked him, “God, No, Brook! How could you even think that?” he frowned at me, “Well your not giving me a lot of choices here Zayn!” I yelled at him, standing up. “If I tell you, you'll get hurt and you don't need to be involved in what happened” he told me, “What did happen Zayn?!” I yell again, he tried to stay calm but the vein in the side of his neck pumped hard, and then his fists began to clench. “Dominic wanted to hurt you, if I didn't help him, he would of hurt you, or killed you, he told me I had to leave you and then you'd be safe” he told me.

 

“What did you do Zayn?” I asked him softly, cautiously. The worst though was that he had helped kill Cassie, I stood up. Was I insane? Was I in love with a murderer. “Brook...” he began to speak, as I stood up taking a step away from him. “I'm not proud of it” he told me, no. This wasn't happened, “Zayn just tell me what you did” I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. Had he killed her. He would have been the reason, Steve was now after me. I couldn't bare this. He wasn't answering, “Did you kill Cassie?” I asked him, my voice breaking, with fear. He looked up and cocked his head to the side, “You really think I would do something like that?” he asked me, “Honestly Zayn, I don't think I know what your capable of” I whispered, he stepped forward, not once breaking eye contact with me, fear crept in. I was afraid that everything was about to become more real then ever.

 

“I didn't kill her” he whispered to me, and I sighed a breath of relief, “And I am rather pissed off that you think I would” he told me harshly, turning away. “Were you there?” I asked him, he stopped turning around, “When they killed her?” he asked me, and I nodded. “Yeah” he spoke, “Dominic did it, her hands were tied, I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen, something about fishing what his father started” he told me, I looked down to the floor. “It's my fault” I tell him, “Why would you think that?” he asked me, “I let her leave, I told her she could of and mingle” I spoke, “You didn't know he was there” he told me, “That's not the point Zayn” I tell him, and he kept his distance, looking to the floor. “You still haven't told me what you were doing” I frowned at him.

 

“Brook, please can you just let it go?” he asked me, “Yeah, I can let go the fact that you left on our wedding day, with out even a real goodbye, to go and work with Dominic, and let me almost marry you best friend, of course I can let that go” I snarl at him, “No need for sarcasm” he told me. “Why is it such a big deal?!” I rolled my eyes at him, “Because if you get hurt, I am not going to forgive myself, I haven't forgiven myself any other time, I won't forgive myself because every day I spent apart from you, it was like I could feel everything you were, how much pain I put you in, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, brook I can't loose you, and I am going to do everything I possibly can to keep you safe” he told me, “Who said ever got me back?” I asked him, “Well your here with me now, and not Harry, that said enough to me” he told me, and I sighed looking around the room.

 

“This is a mess” I told him, “I know” he replied. After a minute to gather my thoughts I spoke, “A few night after our wedding, you were in a bar, with a girl and Dominic, and Riley was there. The girl was all over you, and I was out feeling crappy but the boys they wanted to make it okay, but you were there, and I wanted to see you so much, I wanted to go over there and kiss you, but then yell at you, and I was mess for a really long time, I mean I still am look at me!” I exclaim, “Your a perfect mess” he told me, “No, stop, I don't want you to sweet talk me, or tell me your sorry because its just a word it doesn't change anything, you still left, and for a long time I didn't know the girl who was looking back at me in the mirror, so for god sake, I need to know what was so important other than my safety that you left” I told him.

 

“When Dominic told me that he wanted my help, you need to know, I told him no” he began, and took my hands pulling me over to the couch. “I told him, I wouldn't help him, I was starting a new life, and I wasn't going to be that guy anymore” he continued, “Then he said you'd get hurt, he told me he would personally wrap his hands around your throat, and I just... I wasn't going to let you get hurt again, and I thought that maybe if you got with Harry, that you stood a chance at having a normal life, so when he said that I had to help him, I wanted you to go on, even if it wasn't with me” he told me. “So I wrote the letter, he told me, I couldn't say goodbye, and I am actually glad of that, because I couldn't of said it, I would of just kissed you, and well you know the rest” he told me, he seemed to of changed, normally he would tell me that he would of fucked me, or something dirty that made me blush, but not this time.

 

“I knew Harry loved you, and I thought if you are going to be happy with anyone, it would be him” he explained. “Then, I got to Riley” he told me, “His girlfriend has cancer, and he can't afford the treatment, Dominic said he would pay for it, if he helped, so he agreed. It was nice having someone who understood” he told me. “So Dominic had this plan, and we were all just a part of it” he told me, and I nodded. “Please... Don't make me tell you anything more, if you know and someone finds out, your... your going to get hurt” he told me, “I don't care” I spoke, “No, Well I do” he sighed, and reached for my face. “Brook, I wasn't going to come today, I was going to let you be happy, let you marry him and then maybe in a few years just check on you, but I couldn't do that, because letting you go was the worse thing that ever happened. I lost you last year, when you died, and then I got you back to loose you again” he told me, “I won't let it happen again” he whispered.

 

I sat there in silence with Zayn. Thinking about everything, the day had moved so fast. I didn't know what to do. Where to go, or how to act. “What did you think was going to happen, when we left the wedding today?” I asked him, “I thought we'd be fine” he told me. “Do you know to be fine?” he asked me, and I shook my head. “I haven't been fine since the moment I met you” I whispered, and he faced me completely. “I've lost so much Zayn, I don't want to loose you again too” I told him, and he sighed brushing back a curl of hair from my face, “Well Brook, I don't want to loose you again either, though I know you life has been made worse by me, the moment you stepped into it, it made everything so much better, and I can't thank you enough” he told me, and I cracked the first real smile at him.

 

“How many more times am I going to forgive you, when you really don't deserve it?” I asked him, “As many times as it take for you too see, you and I, are inevitable” he smiled at me. “Just stay, no matter how hard it is for me to be with you, and for you to be with me, just stay this time” I told him, “I will” he told me, “I will only leave, when you tell me to go” he spoke, “I don't want you to go even then” I tell him, and he laughed softly, though it wasn't funny, it was true. I don't think there will ever be a day when I really want to let Zayn Malik go, and if there is a day as such, my soul will of left with his, and we will both be lay in the ground or scattered across the sea.

 

“Where do we go from here?” I asked him, he shrugged. “We could see the world, go anywhere you want get way from everyone” he told me, “So soon?” I asked him, “Don't you want to forget everything?” he asked me, “I know it hurt when you left, but I had some great time in the past six months, I was on a road trip with Harry and we had the best time, I did things I never thought I would, I got to be a teenager, experience so much. Then when I got back, I got to live with my friends, and have an life full on memories in months” I told him, “I got to see Liam turn into this wonderful person, that would move the moon to make someone else happy, I got to watch Courtney become happy, and Niall, I got my best friend back, Zayn, a lot happened, and I don't want to just leave, and run away like we are guilty of something... I know we hurt Harry, and he isn't going to heal for a long time, but It isn't a crime that we fell in love Zayn” I told him, and he smiled softly at me.

 

It was Zayn's turn to be mad at me now. Though, it was a long time ago that he left me at the wedding. I knew what he did that night, he got drunk in that bar it was painfully obvious. He needed to know I went to Drakes. “Zayn?” I asked him, he looked to me “The night of our wedding, when you left... I want you to know where I went” I spoke, and he nodded. “I already know” he told me, “You do?” I asked him, “Drake called me, told me you were passed on his couch, wanted to know if it was all true, if I would come and pick you up” he told me, “You told him no, I am guessing?” I asked him, “I was mad, I was because you found comfort in him, when you should of even needed comfort” he told me, “I'm sorry” I sighed, “Don't apologize, it was my fault” he told me,

 

“I should go and get that shower now” I told him, “Yeah, you'll need clothes” he told me, “I do” I told him, “You just have to ask” he smirked at me and I cocked my head, “Ask what?” I asked him, he looked at his shirt, and wrapped it one part around his hand, “You need something to wear” he told me, “And its been a while since you have wore something of mine” he told me, “You'd think that wouldn't you?” I blushed, he cocked his head. “I kept one of your shirts, when I missed you... I wore it” I tell him, and he took the shirt of his back, and held the loose material in his hand, and walked forward, “Then let refresh my memory, and wear it for me” he told me. Throwing it my way, and I smiled catching it in my hands. He walked over to me, and kissed my lips, “Go, I will make us something stronger to drink” he told me, and I laughed.

 

I walked up the stairs, and found the bathroom. Showering took longer than expected and I got out of the shower, throwing Zayn's still warm shirt on over me. It was a refreshing reminder that I was back with him, and I had left my life that I could have had behind me. I walked back down the stairs, and Zayn was stood in the kitchen, flicking through some papers that were on the side, and I smiled at him as I walked over he tucked the papers away. Zayn smiled at me, and looked over my thighs, then how the shirt cascaded over me. “Perfect” he smiled, he was still shirtless. I smiled and looked at how his torso gleamed in the dim kitchen light. “Yeah” I nodded in agreement. “Here” he handed me a glass with a red liquid in. I sipped it, “Your not even going to ask what it is?” he asked me, I shook my head and just tasted cherry mixed with Vodka.

 

“Your look tired” he told me, and I nodded. I was. I was drained physically and mentally. It had been a long day, and now as every though fizzled out, one came clear into my mind. It was not about Zayn, or myself. Or even us being together. It was about Harry, and I wondered how he was. I wanted to make sure he was alright, because I still cared. I cared that he was okay. He had saved me from myself so many times, maybe now I could save him before he destroyed himself with thoughts of me. “You want to go to bed?” he asked me, and I nodded slowly. Zayn out a hand for me to take, and I slowly took it intertwining our fingers. “Please let this be real” I mutter to myself, and Zayn doesn't catch the words as they fall.

 

We go upstairs, and I walk into the large room. Again it looked just like the picture, except this room was better in the flesh. It was large and spacious, yet warm and cosy. I walked over to the bed and sit down, Zayn sits behind me. “Did I tell you that I missed you?” he asked me, and I just shook my head, “Well I did” he told me, and kissed my neck softly, I turned to face him, and he pulled me so I was sat on top of him, and my arms draped around his neck. “I love you” I told him, and he smiled softly kissing my lips, and it was the sweetest taste I had tasted. “I got a tattoo” I smirked at me, “You did?” he asked me, and I nodded. I turned around, and lifted of the shirt, sitting in my underwear. Zayn's fingertips travelled along my spine, tracing the outside of the shape. “It's beautiful” he whispered, moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, after a moment, he kissed my neck. “I never want to loose you” he whispered against my skin, “I never want this to end” he spoke, kissing where his words had been. “Everything has to end Zayn, Even you... Yeah... Even me” I whispered to him.  

 

Harry's Pov

 

Fuck. I miss her. 

 

 

~*~

Ahhh Zook are back together. But poor harry! 4 chapters to go guys! Argh. 

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