A Secret In Time: Weeping Willow

Willow is an ordinary girl. But then she finds out that she is a witch. However, Voldemort sends her back in time to 1979. Willow has to fix the past, and the future and carry the burden of a single secret...

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23. As close to suicide as I can get...

I wept after he left. I cried until I could cry no more. My heart had dropped to my toes. Why Sirius....

"Crucio," I whispered, angry at myself for being so careless. I pointed the wand at my chest.

"Crucio."

I screamed as complete agony enveloped my body. I was secretly satisfied with my pain. My head lurched forward, exploding with pain. I whimpered as sharp needles tore at my skin, muscles, my very soul. I wanted so bad, so bad, for it to end, end, escape, to kill, kill me now. But I knew I deserved this. I know. My tears flowed freely, splashing into my lap as I struggled against my bonds, torturing, agonizing, bonds of self-hate. My vision flickered as I fell to the floor, writhing.

"End it... End it please!" I moaned unintentionally.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of red and gold. It was Fawkes. He knelt and cried, his tears healing my wounds and forcing me to end my torture. I groaned. I could have died, I could have slipped into the void, never to feel pain again.

Fawkes squawked softly and disappeared.

I shakily reached for my wand. I conjured a dagger. Grimly smiling, I thought:

Well, this is as close to suicide as I can get.

I buried the knife in my arm. 

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