Left Alone

Can you be sure you will find what you are looking for? Can emotions be true and can a vampire love you? Join us for an adventure!

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15. To leave

I came to the punk when I realized what I felt for Niall and I wasn't ashamed of it. Instead, I looked him up and found him in the wine cellar. I saw that he spun the bottle and watched them with his eyes.
"Feel like wine?" I got out of me and he just laughed.
"No, but it's a get away place to be here and to see them. I have wine that's older than you can imagine and I have no plans to drink them!"
I went up to him and he noted that I wanted something. He turned his face to me and instantly became serious. I smiled a little bit and cleared my throat
"So we'll do something?" I got out of me and I felt silly. I wanted to talk about what I felt for him, but I had no courage to talk about it.
"Okay!" he got out and looked into my eyes. "What did you think we would do?"

I couldn't think of anything.
"Maybe bring order on the yard?"
Niall laughed direct and shook his head.
"No, the yard must look like that. Otherwise people understand that I live here and I don't want them to come over to me!"
I sighed
"Why must you always be so afraid and why can't you drop some of your rules?"
He looked at me again and didn't understand what I meant.
"The yard have saved me many times and I have no plans to change that particular part!"
I sighed
"So we'll do something fun?"
He let go of the wine bottle he held and looked at me. He looked at me long before he nodded
"You're restless?"

 

We came up from the basement and directly Harry came up to us.
"Niall, talk?"
I noted that they gave each other a long look and then turned Niall around to me.
"You can go out in the yard, I will come after you then!"
I nodded and watched the two of them go into the office. I let my eyes drift towards the door and sighed. What was there to see?

 

As always, it was really hot outside and I almost wanted to go back inside. I walked around the castle and found an area they had cleared away all the weeds. There was the grass green. A few pots of flowers were in one corner and a bench to sit on. I chose to sit on the bench and then looked out of the weeds on the other farm. Why did he have such a farm?

 

Niall found me and sat right next to me on the bench. He looked at the farm and then at me. I felt that I had the chance and decided to choose my words.
"You know you or me can't control certain things?"
He nodded
"I know, but what things are we talking about?"
I looked at him and tried not to blush or do something else.
"I enjoy your company!" I got out of me and smiled. "I enjoy very much in your company!"
Niall blushed
"I'm happy to be with you!"

I cleared my throat
"Niall, I'm trying to say that I have feelings for you!"
He paused and stared at me. I knew he wouldn't say anything, so I chose to lower my gaze.
"I don't know why but the last few days I have begun to think about what it would be like to be with you seriously!"
He still said nothing.
"So I try to collect myself and maybe consider perhaps stay here!"

I noted that he wasn't as happy as I was expecting. Instead, he shook his head
"You don't know what it means to be with me!"
I swallowed
"I can learn?"
Niall ran his hand through his hair and he smiled weakly.
"It's been such a short time and how can you feel so much already?"
I almost got mad at him and met his gaze.
"You mean you have questions that I have feelings for you?"
He seemed to regret what he had said.
"I just meant that you....!"
I interrupted him and stood up.
"Niall, don't worry about what I said!"
The anger took over and I decided to go back to the castle again. Thus he had no feelings for me and I had made a total fool of myself. Maybe I should have seen him as a friend and nothing more? He loved grandma still and had no space for me? Yet I still felt his kisses on my lips and I had even the memory from when he stripped me naked. Maybe he was playing with my feelings to see how far I wanted to go?

 

I started to cry when I got up in the room. I realized that maybe I should leave Italy and return to my normal life? I understood why my grandma didn't want to stay here and slowly I began to repress everything I felt about Niall. He didn't want me and it wasn't the first time I encountered these guys. My grandma had said many times that the prince will come when I least expect it and then he will take me by storm. Niall was no prince! Niall was a vampire and I knew I wouldn't get more from him.

 

I chose to go to bed early that night, and I lay a long time listening to the sound of the castle. I heard Louis and Harry laughed and I heard them talking, but not what they said to each other. I would miss them all, but I knew I had to leave them. Not for my sake, but for my pride's sake! I had done what I could and what I came for. That was all that could be done, and the rest would soon displace! In a month would Niall slowly being erased from my mind and I would go on with my life. 

 

Eventually I fell asleep.

 

I woke up before everyone else and immediately I began to pack my things. I went down to the front door with my bags, wondering if I should wait to go. Yet I felt no need to say goodbye to them. Especially not to Niall!

 

I made ​​a choice and I started to walk along the road towards the village. Slowly I began to be cleaned up and in the end I realized that I did the right thing. Grandma would certainly not want me to stay there and become hopelessly in love with Niall. She didn't want me to die before Niall even realized that maybe he wanted her more than me. And I had a life in London! I had friends and I had a social network. Niall couldn't replace it from his empty castle.

 

When I came down to the village, I quickly took a taxi. I went straight to the airport and to book a ticket home. I saw happy couples who had just arrived into the country and I felt only emptiness. Perhaps my husband was at home in London and I would soon meet him? Maybe he would love me and not pay me for lack of anyone else.
"Where do you want to fly?"
I turned around to look at her, sitting behind the counter.
"London, England"

 

As I sat in the air plane, I closed my eyes and tried to disconnect everything that reminded about Niall. I figured instead of mom, my grandma, and my life. Maybe I wasn't a happy person in London, but I knew what I had. The planes engine went on once and I smiled to myself. I was going home!

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