Left Alone

Can you be sure you will find what you are looking for? Can emotions be true and can a vampire love you? Join us for an adventure!

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16. London

Mom was happy that I came home and she picked me up from the airport. She babbled all the way home about what she had done, but my mind was in a completely different direction. I tried to listen to her and answer her questions, but my body couldn't keep up with her.

 

"So that person, Niall?" she got out of herself and smiled quickly at me. "Who was he?"
I sighed
"Well, he was nice, but I just had to come home! I have my life here and he has a life in Italy!"
She laughed a little bit.
"That means you knew he wasn't the person you wanted?"
I nodded and looked at her.
"I think he's in love with another girl and he can't let her go. We were also different and he looked at things from a different angle!"
Mom smiled comfortingly at me and seemed to want to hug me.
"It's good that you left him. Those guys in other countries is quite tricky?"

 

When I got into my apartment, I felt like I hadn't left my home. Everything looked the same, before the trip, but I was no longer the same person. Almost all of my potted plants was dead and I chose to discard them. Then I cleaned and washed the clothes that I had brought with me. The last thing I did was to buy food and fill my fridge.

 

I felt empty and I felt hopeless. I sat in my bed and picked up the box with grandma's photographs. I understood why she had stayed and I was still grateful for it. I was born thanks to Grandpa. Also Mom! The common denominator was my grandma and she chose a normal life.

 

I soon came into my life and I got a new job. I ended up at a museum and cleaned the premises when everyone else had gone. It was a crispy salary, but I was living my life. In a way it was nice to work when no one else was there. I could examine myself and eventually I dropped all thoughts of Niall. Instead I brought headphones and listened to music. I wiped the floor faster for each night that went by and finally I was a skilled cleaners.

 

"You should look for another job!" said mom, but I disagreed.
"It's fun to clean and I like to walk around in my own thoughts!"
She sighed
"But your salary?"
I smiled
"It's okay mom, and don't worry about me. I will survive!"
She nodded and hugged me.
"My daughter, I'm proud of you whatever you plan to do!"

 

One day a letter came to me. Sender unknown, but the stapler was from Italy. I realized it was Niall who had written. I swallowed, wondering if he would follow the same pattern to me as he had done to grandma? Did he wrote how much he loved me and then he would think that I would go back with him? I chose to add the letter unopened in a drawer. It felt more safe to not know what he wrote and I didn't put myself in his power right now. I could open the letter when I was old and find out what he wrote. Right now, I was young and had a whole life ahead of me. I was proud of myself and put me down on the couch. I was actually the way I wanted me to be. An independent person who tried to create a purpose in life. 

 

I jumped when the phone rang and I answered.
"Hi it's Kim!"
I smiled
"Hey!"
She laughed
"WE are having a party tonight and you can get over if you want to?"
My old me had said no and hung up. I was a new Nelly and therefore I smiled direct large.
"Sure!"

 

I drank to many drinks and I talked probably too much, but I didn't care. Kim had invited the whole gang, and eventually we decided to go to a discotheque. I was wild and I was free!
"You are so changed since you were in Italy!" Kim said to me and I just laughed at her.
"Could be that I'm glad I'm home again?"
She nodded and ordered new drinks to us.
"And we must have so fun this fucking night damn!"

A guy came and asked her to dance. She nodded and went directly out to the dance floor. I sat at the table and laughed at my friend's dance. I let my eyes wander around the room when I suddenly caught sight of Louis. He stood in a corner and looked at me. I was flabbergasted and immediately I went up to him.
"What are you doing here?"
He cleared his throat a little and avoided my gaze.
"Niall's looking for you!"
I sighed
"And?"
Louis looked at me and blushed slightly
"Do you want him to find you?"

I realized it was a serious question. I hesitated and went silent. Louis smiled slightly and looked down at the ground.
"If you say that you don't want, I leave you here and now and tell him that you wasn't here. He's sitting in a car outside, waiting for me to come out!"
I turned toward the door.
"Is he out there?"
Louis nodded
"He has been looking for you and will not give up. He cried when you left us, but it took him a week to realize that he couldn't let you go!"

I was scared. I wasn't afraid of Niall, but afraid of my own feelings. I had a life and I had everything I wanted, but maybe not a Niall.
"I don't know!" I whispered. Louis sigh easy
"Please, please follow me out, I got tired of going through London!"

I almost had tears in my eyes and looked back at Louis.
"So he loves me?"
Louis nodded 
"That's the only reason he's here!"

 

I was in a daze! I wanted to run out and tell him that I was his. Still, I wasn't sure if it was what I really wanted. Niall was wonderful but to stay in a castle belonged not to my dream.

 

"Tell him I'm here!" I got out of me. "But I'm not coming out!"
Louis sighed and nodded
"Why don't you coming out to him?"
I met his gaze
"I have a pride Louis!"

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